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Natasha Romanoff doesn't remember a time when she had a real family. She must've at one point. She would've had a mother, maybe a father. She does remember a time when she had a family, but it was never real, it never felt real. Except maybe with Yelena.
The Avengers were her real family. Clint was the first to treat her like a person, like someone that could be loved. Surprisingly, the next was Tony. And then the rest was history. The Avengers felt like home, the times they didn't have a care in the world were her most precious moments. Movie nights, game nights, cooking together. The years in the Tower and the Compound were the best years of her life.
Now, her family is scattered all over the world and she wants to fix it.
Steve pokes at his food, sitting opposite her in a diner and worrying at his lip. He stares at the apple pie like it's poisoned, Natasha stares at him until it grows uncomfortable. He lifts his head and meets her eyes.
She feels different now. Natasha no longer feels like herself. Being on the run should feel normal now, but it feels like she's been placed in another body. It doesn't help that her red hair is gone, she's not sure if she likes the blonde. She always sees another woman in the mirror when she stares at her reflection, she’s not sure if it's because of her hair, or because she feels different. Without her family, she feels lost.
“Staring won't make me change my mind.” Steve sighs and places his fork down. Natasha swallows but doesn't look away. She wants to yell at him, to shake his shoulder and beg him to fix things.
Everything would have been okay if Tony was told about Barnes killing his parents before. Tony wasn't even mad about the Accords anymore. It was about his parents.
“Just apologise.” Natasha whispers, her breath catching and she glances away. She crosses her arms over her chest, “Tony's been listening to T'Challa about reworking the Accords, we've both seen the news. The Accords don't matter anymore, Steve.”
Steve slams his hands down on the table and shakes his head, sliding himself out of the booth and dropping twenty dollars onto the surface. “Nat, I've told you- I've told you so many times. If Tony needs me, he has a way to contact me. If I need Tony, I can contact him. We-” Steve shakes his head and shoves his hands in his pockets, “The Avengers are over, okay? They were over the minute Tony hurt Bucky.”
“He wouldn't have hurt him if you had told the truth.” Natasha says, raising her chin to look him in the eyes. She couldn't even count on her fingers the amount of times they've had this argument. “Don't act like you're innocent in this, Steve. Because you're not.”
“Don't I fucking know it.” Steve leans over her, pressing his hands to the table. Natasha leans back in her seat but their eye contact doesn't waver. “You'll never let me forget it.”
“You're an asshole.” Natasha whispers, she leans in until their faces are only inches away from each other. “You only care about yourself, Steve. You wanted Bucky, and you burned so many bridges to get him back. And now he won't talk to you anymore because of what happened in Siberia. I won't say I told you so, but…”
Steve pushes back from the table and stares down at her before taking a step back and walking out of the diner. Natasha looks down at the table and clenches her jaw.
She gets up before she can convince herself to apologise.
~~~
She shouldn't be here, she knows that. In fact, going to the Avengers Compound is probably the most reckless thing she's done in a while. She imagines a lot of it is under government control now, since the Accords. However, she gets in pretty smoothly.
She wonders who stays here now. Does Tony even live here? He didn't before.
Fuck. Maybe this was all for nothing.
Natasha stands in the living room, remembering curling up beside Wanda for movie nights, teasing Steve when he got competitive on game nights, bullying Sam for always running cold and being wrapped up in blankets and thick clothes.
Natasha frowns and thinks back to the times Tony would stay for a little while. He'd only ever stay if he had Avengers business to do, but when he did, Steve would force him to participate in group activities. Natasha almost sees them there, sitting so close together in the loveseat, a singular blanket between them.
She remembers most nights, Tony would fall asleep in the middle of the movies, or doze off once the games had come to an end. Steve would always carry him to bed.
This wouldn't have happened if the Accords weren't put into place. If Steve had told Tony about his parents… they would be sitting here, playing games and watching movies.
Natasha blinks and covers her eyes when the lights turn on suddenly. She curses under her breath and glances towards the culprit in the doorway. No one ever sneaks up on her.
Tony stands with a cup of coffee, holding the hot mug between both of his hands. He blinks at her, like he's trying to blink her away. Natasha stands straighter and crosses her arms over her chest.
He looks… tired. Though, Tony always looks tired except when he makes public appearances. And Tony has been making a lot of those, his work on the Accords is on the news everyday now. Like he wants his family back too.
They stare at each other for a moment. Like they're wondering if the other will disappear if they make a sudden movement.
Natasha makes the first move, Tony relaxes almost instantly. They meet in the middle and Natasha is the first to pull him towards her. He pulls his mug in one hand as they hug each other, Tony rests his chin on her shoulder and huffs a quiet laugh. “You shouldn't be here.”
“I know.” Natasha whispers, and closes her eyes. “I missed you.”
Tony nods against her and finally pulls back, she opens her eyes and meets his watery ones, “Yeah, I missed you too.” He pauses and nods towards the sofa. She sits at the corner, tucking herself into it. Tony sits a few inches from her, pulling his legs up to cross them. “Why are you here?”
Natasha stares at his face, finding a new, red scar at his temple. She wonders if it's from his fight with Steve and Bucky. “I was sick of Steve.” Natasha glances away when he snorts, “He's- mad. With everyone. Everyone else- they've scattered. It was just me and Steve. I couldn't be alone. I didn't want to be. But, Steve is being an asshole because of Bucky. It's a mess.”
Tony sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. “Sam left too?”
Natasha shrugs and glances at Tony, “Promise you won't tell?”
Tony smirks, “I'm no snitch.”
“Sam stayed in Wakanda. Bucky was put into cryo-”
“I know.” Tony whispers, “I know about Barnes. Shuri's been giving me updates. I've been helping a bit with ideas. Treatments.”
Natasha huffs in surprise, and smiles. “Well, Sam didn't want him to wake up in an unfamiliar place with no one he knows. And Bucky was mad at Steve, because of Siberia.” Tony looks away at that, “So. Yeah, things are a mess. I just- I just want us all back together.”
Natasha looks at the floor, “I miss us. I miss movie nights and when Steve didn't have a stick up his ass all the time. I miss my family.”
Tony holds out his hand to Natasha, pointing palm upwards. She takes it gratefully and curls her fingers around his. “I miss you all too. I'm trying- getting you all pardoned isn't easy. Honestly, Sam might be the first to. Barnes also has a pretty high chance of being next, but not until he's fully okay. But I am trying.”
Natasha smiles, “I know you are. I just wish Steve was too. It doesn't work if you're the only one putting in the effort.”
Tony hums, “Sounds like you're describing a relationship.” Natasha looks up and raises an eyebrow. Tony rolls his eyes, “Shut up.” Natasha smirks and Tony glances down at their joined hands, “Things'll work out.”
“I hope so.”