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Chaewon couldn't believve she was back in London.
It's been two years since her last visit, when LE SSERAFIM was invited to perform at the EMA's. Now she's here, but not on a vacation, but because she'll be performing her very first headlining concert in Europe.
Somebody pinch me
The girls had arrived earlier that morning and after completing their various schedules, each of them had a bit of free time to explore the city. Chaewon thought about what she wanted to do; she could ride the ferris wheel at night, or take one of those cliche photos in the phonebooths scattered across the city.
As she was coming up with ideas in her head, she realized there was one person next to her in every scenario she pictured.
Yunjin
They’ve been to numorous cities while on this world tour and so far in basically every one she always had that blonde haired girl by her side, her very own puppy. It was true, touring the world wouldn't have been the same without her best-friend and soulmate. So, if she was going to explore the streets of London, there was only one girl she wanted to do it with.
After fixing her hair and throwing on a classic beige jacket, Chaewon picked up her sunglasses and was about to head out the door of her hotel room. Before she could reach for the handle, she heard a knock that sounded as if a puppy were wagging her tail against the door.
Chaewon opened the door to see the tall, blonde and definitely most gorgeous member standing in front of her.
"Yunjin-a!" She exclaimed ecitedly. "I was actually just coming-"
"I'll stop you right there Chaewon-ssi" Yunjin said as she held out her hand so close to Chaewon's face it made her blush a little
Yah! get a grip!
"Whatever you were going to do, consider it cancelled. We're going sightseeing" Yunjin said in a very confident and posh-like manner.
Of course the blonde haired girl had the same idea there was no surprise they shared the same thoughts.
She was the rin to Chaewon's pu after all.
-
After a few quick appearances in some local shops, Chaewon's stomach started to growl. "Do you mind if we get some food next?" She asked Yunjin who was walking next to her with her small gray camera in hand.
Chaewon loved how Yunjin brought that camera with her to every new city. There was something about the way the artsy girl always wanted to cappture every moment, as if to remain frozen in the memories of each photo forever. The thought of it made Chaewon's heart flutter.
"Oh sure Chaewon-ssi, what did you have in mind?" Yunjin answered
Chaewon pondered the question, she loved trying new foods while they were on tour but she also loved having a taste of home when in a different country.
Just as she was about to answer, the girls passed by what looked like the cutest little Indian restaurant. Chaewon couldn't believe the delicious scent that flowed from the building.
"Why don’t we go there?" She said as she pointed at the shop entrance.
"Ahh! Indian food, sounds delicious!" Yunjin said as she held out her arm for Chaewon "Shall we?" Chaewon linked her arm with her friend's as they entered the restaurant.
It was the cutest place Chaewon had ever seen. She felt fully transported to the asian continent as she looked around the room. Smells of naan bread and chicken curry bombarded her senses. She was overcome with a feeling of appreciation for her career, she loved being able to travel to different countries and try new foods. There was something so special about trying the cuisine of one country, while being in a different one across the world.
"I wonder what kind of naan bread they have here" Yunjin said as the two girls took their seats at a table in the corner of the restraunt. "We should save some to take back to Zuha"
Chaewon loved how Yunjin always had the other members on her mind, although sometimes she wished she were the only person Yunjin ever thought about....
With that thought sitting in her mind, Chaewon scavenged the menu for the most delicious meal. Not being able to decide on one thing, Yunjin insisted the girls order various forms of rice, curry and bread.
"When's the next time we'll be back here?" Yunjin exclaimed while pointing at a rice dish she wanted to try. She was right, they didn't know when they'd be back in London, never mind at this restaurant.
The thought made Chaewon move her eyes from the menu to her friend's face. She was captivated by every mole and freckle that rested on Yunjin's skin, she traced them all with her eyes, stopping for a few seconds longer on the one that sat on her nose.
"I can feel you staring at me" She heard a voice say
Chaewon cleared her throat and quickly looked down at the menu before Yunjin could lock eyes with her.
"I know im pretty Chaewon-ssi but have some decorum" The giant woman said in a joking like manner. If there was one thing Chaewon knew Yunjin loved to do, it was mess with her.
"I wasnt staring, you're too full of youself" Chaewon replied as she took a sip of water from her glass.
"Mhm" Was all Yunjin responded with as she contiuned to flip through the menu
Once their food arrived, Chaewon - being the kind leader she is - pulled out her phone to snap a picture of the dishes. As much as she loved being here with her best friend, she loved fearnot too and wanted to include them on their date.
After their meal, during which the girls shared a very intense and intimate conversation, they steppped back outside and breathed in the London air. "Wow, it's always so much prettier here with the sun down!" Yunjin exclaimed as she ran to the edge of the street and pulled out her digital camera.
Chaewon watched as her friend took snapshots of every corner and every building. She studied Yunjin’s backside and how her long blonde hair flowed down her brown jacket. She analyzed how her tight pink dress fit every curve of her torso, how it reflected the shine of her soft skin. She observed her long legs, and how they stood so perfectly apart. Oh how she wished those legs would-
“Chaewon-ssi!” Yunjin’s voice rang in her head. “Where did you go? You seemed to have dazed off”
Chaewon blinked a few times, when did Yunjin appear in front or her? Dazed off? Was she really that lost in her imagination?
She can’t say she was surprised, she’s been lost in her fantasies of Yunjin for years. Something about that girl always makes Chaewon lose her sense of reality.
“Oh! Sorry I was just.. thinking” She said as she cleared her throat. “Well don’t think too hard Chaewon-ssi, you might hurt yourself” Yunjin said with a grin as she tapped the top of Chaewon’s head.
This girl….
Chaewon responded with a friendly roll of her eyes. “Right! Where are we off to next mate?” Yunjin said in the worst British accent she’s ever heard. Chaewon responded with the most pathetic giggle, it wasn’t that funny, but everything Yunjin does makes her laugh.
“That really was so bad, you should practice more before the show tomorrow” She responded, still unable to hold her laughter.
“Anything for you” Yunjin exclaimed as she looked around the street. “Hey there’s an ice cream shop over there! We should go get some then take some photos!”
Chaewon thought that was the best idea.
The two girls made their way over to the local ice cream shop, Yunjin chose to have hers in a waffle cone and Chaewon went the old fashion way and had hers in a cup.
“What flavor did you pick?” Yunjin asked after taking a bite from her treat. “Vanilla bean and honey” Chaewon responded.
“Oh! I love honey flavored things!” Yunjin exclaimed in the most dramatic expression with wide eyes.
Chaewon knew that and that’s definitely not why she chose it.
“Can I try some?” The blonde asked. She gave Chaewon a look with pitiful pouting eyes, so naturally, the leader wasn’t able to resist
Damn her
“Sure but only a little, I want to eat the rest” She said as she scooped up some of the treat in her small spoon. She held out the spoon towards her friend, fully expecting her to take it from her hands. But to Chaewon’s surprise, Yunjin didn’t take the spoon, but rather she took Chaewon’s wrist in her far too enormous hands, and pulled the spoon into her mouth.
The action made every nerve in Chaewon’s body tingle as she watched Yunjin’s perfectly shaped lips move over the spoon.
She wonder how those soft lips would feel on her body as she explored every inch of her skin….
Chaewon’s knees started to buckle as she blushed at the thought. Needing to remove herself from the situation before she did something she might regret, the leader quickly turned around and started walking the other direction.
“Ch-Chaewon-ssi where are you going?” Yunjin asked as she ran after her friend.
“Nowhere I just really want to see this phone booth over here” Chaewon rambled as she quickened her pace.
She didn’t want to leave Yunjin but this was the only way she wouldn’t give herself away as being pathetically in love with her best friend.
Over the course of a few hours the girls took pictures all over the city, they posed in phone booths and in front of cars, both living in the moment and fully enjoying each other’s presence.
Now they stand in front of Big Ben, Yunjin posing for the perfect shot
“Wah, you look great Yunjin-a” Chaewon exclaimed as she held the camera in front of her face, trying to get the perfect angle that did her friend justice.
She loved taking photos of Yunjin, not only because her friend always looked great, but because it gave her a sense of domesticity in their relationship. She loved being the person responsible for capturing a moment so perfect, that Yunjin would decide to upload it to her instagram for the world to see.
She didn’t want to sound possessive, but she liked being the most important person in Yunjin’s life.
Does she know how much she means to me? Or am I just so fucking needy?
Chaewon thought as she lowered the digital camera. “If I take anymore you’re going to run out of storage” She said as she called her friend back over.
“That’s a good point, I need space for the rest of tour… oh well” Yunjin exclaimed as she grabbed the camera and placed it back in her expensive black bag.
Chaewon stared at her friend “I had a lot of fun with you today, I love when we get to go on these dates, even when we’re both super busy” She confessed as she noticed Yunjin shift her weight from one foot to the other.
“Me too Chaewon-ssi, You know i’d go anywhere with you” Yunjin gave her a reassuring smile.
The response confused her a little. Yunjin has been doing and saying things tonight that made Chaewon question if she felt the same. No, she couldn’t possibly. They’re just friends, and in Yunjin’s eyes Chaewon is just her BEST friend.. nothing more.
Oh how she wished there was something more.
Chaewon looked in the beautiful brown eyes of her friend, she watched as the smallest amount of starlight made them twinkle. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol she had at dinner, or the feeling of being in a foreign city with the woman she’s in love with. Something, made her want to confess her feelings right there, right then.
Before she could decide if she wanted to speak, Yunjin beat her to it “I need your company” She exclaimed.
Chaewon tilted her head at the reference to their song
“When I was writing that song.. I started writing it about the members and our group. But every feeling I had and every memory I thought about, all had one common denominator” Chaewon noticed Yunin gulp and mess with the sleeve of her jacket.
“You” She said softly “I always need you Chaewon, whether it’s your company, or your voice in my head nagging me when i’ve done something wrong. Even if we’re fighting, I don’t care.. I just need you there” Chaewon couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Of course she knew the song had a sentimental meaning towards their relationship, but she never realized how much of it was fully for her.
Is she dreaming?
Chaewon couldn’t say anything, she was still trying to process the words that came from the songwriter’s mouth.
“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know how much I value you, and I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else” Yunjin gave her small smile.
This was it, this was the moment Chaewon had been dreaming about. She would be lying if she said she didn’t also dream of confessing her feelings for her best friend in Paris- the city of love, but London is also a lovely city, is it not?
Suddenly filled with courage, Chaewon took a few steps closer to her friend “Yunjin-a.. there’s something i’ve wanted to tell you for a very long time” Chaewon said as she looked up at her friend.
Before she could get the words out, she heard the chimes of the clock tower behind them. Both girls quickly turned their heads to look at the time on the clock
10 pm!? already??
Chaewon’s heart sank. She knew they had important stuff to do tomorrow, but she selfishly wanted to be here with Yunjin until every bone in her frail body withered away, and every bystander on the street became a distant faded memory.
But she couldn’t, she was the leader of a girl group. Her personal feelings meant nothing when they had a show tomorrow. “Oh! we should head back soon they’re probably waiting for us” She exclaimed nervously.
She felt Yunjin’s eyes turn back to her as they traveled up and down her body
“No”
… No?
“Huh?” Chaewon responded. She became entirely too confused. Did Huh Yunjin just tell her no?
“I don’t want to go back, I have a better idea” Yunjin gave her a smirk, the same kind she uses when she’s planning something mischievous. Hurriedly, she raced off in the other direction.
Chaewon hesitated for a few seconds but honestly, anything the tall girl did never fully surprised her. She was still so giddy from Yunjin’s confession, she couldn’t be mad they were breaking the rules.
Chaewon raced after her and quickly caught up to her friend. Yunjin slowed down her pace and looked back at her
“Come on!” she said as she held out her hand behind her.
Chaewon looked down at the soft limb stretched out behind her friend’s back and then back up at her face. Yunjin looked at ther with the widest smile, one that would make any girl crumble to her knees. She stared at Chaewon with a gaze that made her feel like they were the only two girls in the world.
To hell with the consequences, she was in a beautiful city with a beautiful girl. If she gave up this moment she would regret it forever.
Chaewon grabbed Yunjin’s hand and for a second she immediately regretted that decision when she aggressively pulled her in the direction they were running.
The regret faded as quickly as it came when Chaewon couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear while watching her friend sprint with so much freedom.
“Where are we going?” Chaewon asked happily
“We have to make it before it closes, The view from the top is stunning” Yunjin said without describing where exactly it was they’re going.
Chaewon didn’t push anymore, she had so much trust for the girl in front of her, she knew Yunjin would take her somewhere unforgettable.
Minutes pass and the girls found themselves staring up at the most beautiful ferris wheel Chaewon has ever seen. It was lit up with hundreds of lights and was filled with people from all different walks of life, all enjoying the same ride.
“Oh wow! i’ve always wanted to ride this!” Chaewon screeched excitedly.
“I know” Yunjin responded softly as she gave Chaewon’s hand a loving squeeze
Chaewon turned her head to look at her friend who was already staring at her. She gave Yunjin a small smile as the taller girl peered directly into her eyes, with the most loving look she’s ever seen.
She wished she could use that digital camera to capture that look forever.
Still hand in hand, the girls walked up to the operator at the entrance of the ferris wheel. Yunjin ushered Chaewon to go in first, and she did as she was told. She noticed Yunjin whisper something to the operator before she took her seat, but Chaewon couldn’t tell what it was.
“It really is such a beautiful city” Yunjin said as she slid over so she was sitting next to her friend, their thighs touching.
“Yeah, it’s more beautiful because I’m here with you though” Chaewon responded
Wait did she really just say that?? How could she be so obvious? What possibly came over her??
Chaewon held her breath and turned to look at her friend to gauge her reaction, but Yunjin didn’t say anything, she just placed her hand on top of Chaewon’s thigh and began tracing circles.
The sensation made Chaewon’a spine tingle
This seductive girl is going to be the death of me
The girls didn’t say anything after that, they just watched the river as the operator signaled for the wheel to start turning.
As they began to move, the cart they were sitting in began to shake, and out of instinct Chaewon grabbed Yunjin’s jacket to steady herself. Realizing what she did, she quickly pulled her hand away, but before she could complete the action Yunjin quickly grabbed it and interlocked their fingers.
She couldn’t beleive what was happening. She doesn’t remember when her feelings for her friend became as intense as they are now. Maybe it was the constant time they’ve shared together during their tour so far, or maybe it was during the writing process for their 2nd studio album.
All she knew was that she was fully, pathetically and selfishly in love with Huh Yunjin.
She wanted the ferris wheel to stop at the top so she could tell her that, and then kiss her like they were the last two women on planet.. but sometimes dreams, are only dreams, and sometimes your best friend doesn’t feel the same.
She had to tell her though, her feelings were too intense, and the gestures Yunjin had been making tonight gave her a little bit of hope.
Or she was just delusional, but it’s okay to be a little delusional.
“Yunjin-a..” Chaewon stuttered a little as she spoke. “Can I tell you something?” She asked as they continued to play with each others fingers.
The ferris wheel came to a stop at the top, Chaewon looked over at Yunjin who was looking down at the ride operator below. She gave him a subtle thumbs up as he responded with a salute to his forehead.
“You can ask me anything, always.” Yunjin responded as she looked back at her friend and tucked a stray piece of Chaewon’s hair behind her ear then returned her hand to her thigh.
Here goes nothing
“No one really knows me” She started. “Nobody understands me, and maybe i’m thinking in a selfish way but sometimes I feel like you’re the only one who does” She felt a weight lift off of her shoulders as she spoke. She knew what her words meant to Yunjin, they were her own lyrics after all.
If she was going to confess her undying love for her friend, she wanted to be sentimental and romantic about it.
“It’s just that.. things are always easier with you. Anytime we’re together I never have to worry about the outcome of an event or anything like that because I know you’ll make everything better in the end” Chaewon explained as she watched the wind blow ripples through Yunjin’s hair, who sat quietly, watching her intently.
”I don’t know how or why or when, but everytime I look at you now I don’t picture my best friend anymore” She noticed Yunjin’s expression drop and her breath hold at her words.
”No, no not like that” Chaewon said quickly as she grabbed both of Yunjin’s hands in reassurance.
“I don’t see you as my best friend because I see you as more than that” She found herself struggling to form her words, a tear started to role down her cheek.
”You’re just… you’re everything to me, and no matter if or how you hurt me, I still need you” Chaewon said in a shaky voice. Just then Yunjin held out her hands to Chaewon’s face and wiped her tears away.
”Chae…” she said softly
“No, don’t say anything I want to get through this”
Yunjin removed her hand and placed it back on top of Chaewon’s
”I know you probably don’t feel the same, and i’m not asking for anything I just.. I have to tell you because it has been absolutely eating me alive spending so much time with you and not saying how I feel” She felt her words start to breakdown and her hands start to shake.
But she also felt Yunjin grab them tighter, which gave her the strength to go on.
“We’re so different, but that’s what make us perfect, you know? Our whole relationship it’s like a trust exercise. Even when we have our struggles, I have learned to trust that we’ll find our way back to each other… and truthfully I don’t think I could ever traverse life without you again. I don’t want to” Chaewon explained as she felt the cool breeze run through her hair. She sniffled as she went on
”So even if you don’t feel the same, I just need you to know that I am so fucking insanely in love with you. Every breath you take, I feel it in my body. Every word you speak flows down my spine and every time you look at me, I feel like the world becomes a little smaller and I become a little braver.” She paused for a few seconds, thinking about how she wanted to continue.
“I want to know about every lyric you write and be the person who inspires you. I want to take pictures of you all over the world and be the reason you wake up every day. I so so selfishly want you to be mine, only mine. Every part of my being wants to fit perfectly with every part of yours, Yunjin”
Chaewon looked down at their hands as she stopped talking, suddenly she had fears Yunjin would reject her right here and they would lose this beautiful friendship she’s come to love.
Realizing what could happen, Chaewon pulled her hands away, wiped her tears and quickly turned away from her friend. She wasn’t turned around for a few seconds before she felt soft, large hands grip both sides of her face. She gasped as Yunjin pulled her head towards hers and their lips came crashing together.
It was everything Chaewon dreamed about. No, it was better. Their lips fit together perfectly, like both were the missing pieces to a puzzle they yearned to find.
The kiss was passionate and rough, it tasted like beer and honey. Chaewon ran her hands up to Yunjin’s shoulders and opened her mouth wider to get a taste of her tongue. She became fully vexed by the woman, her breathing became unsteady as she moved her leg to rest on top of Yunjin’s. Unfortunately and very rudely, she felt the girl pull away from her.
“Don’t ever say that I don’t feel the same way about you again” Yunjin informed her as she moved her thumb to run over Chaewon’s swollen lips
Chaewon stared at her, cheeks blushed and red. She simply nodded as she was so dazed from the kiss she couldn’t form any words.
“Good, now… what were we doing again?” Yunjin asked in a playful tone as Chaewon grabbed the sides of her jacket and pulled her mouth onto hers. This kiss was better than their first, it felt like everything she had ever wanted mixed with everything she’s never had.
Yunjin’s hands fell from Chaewon’s face and arrived at the bottom of her shirt, she lifted it up as her lips moved from her mouth to her neck.
It was pretty chilly in London that night but Chaewon had Huh Yunjin kissing her neck right now, she would be a complete fool to complain about being cold.
“Careful kirin we’re in public” She exclaimed with a little emphasize on the nickname, as she tried to catch her breath.
She felt Yunjin’s lips fall from her neck and suddenly felt her warm breath a few inches from her face.
“I would kiss every part of your body in the middle of street, if it meant the world got to know Kim Chaewon was mine” Yunjin responded seductively
Im so screwed
Chaewon bit her lip as she took off the green hat Yunjin was wearing and ran her hands through her hair
“You have such a beautiful way with words Yunjin-a” She said as she played with a strand of hair.
“Only for you” Yunjin said as she brought her lips down and kissed Chaewon one last time. It was wet, rough, and filled will all kinds of tongue, but it was also loving, sensual, and felt like a message between the two girls.
A message nobody else in the entire world would ever know, other than them.
The ferris wheel began moving again as the two girls finally separated. Chaewon returned the hat to Yunjin’s head as she sat up, grabbed her hand and threw it over her shoulder, so that she was nestled next to her neck.
Chaewon fiddled with Yunjin’s fingers as she spoke “I don’t want this moment to end” She admited
”Don’t worry Chaewon-nnie, I hear Paris is lovely this time of year” Yunjin reassured her as she gave the top of her head a warm kiss.
For the rest of the ride the two girls sat there, switching between glancing at the beautiful lake beside them and tracing circles over each others legs with their fingers.
Chaewon didn’t know how she ever became so lucky. All she knew was that she wanted to remain in the company of Huh Yunjin forever.