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You were at a party with some of your best friends, music blaring loudly out of the speakers. You and your best friend Jackson were dancing, laughing and singing along at the top of your lungs to everything the DJ played. The party was organized by JYP and most of your friends or acquaintances were here. You and Jackson had some alcohol before the party and were passing a flask around again right now when suddenly his facial expression changed from happy to completely angry in a second. Confused you asked what’s wrong, but all you got as a reply was a low growl and something along the lines of „Kill him“ before Jackson walked past you. You turned around and followed his line of sight. When you spotted who he was talking about you felt sick. Your stomach turned and your heart rate accelerated. Why was HE here? Who even invited him? In this moment his eyes found yours and for a reason that was unknown to you they widened and filled with tears. You held his gaze until your best friends voice broke you out of your trance. Jackson’s voice was booming through the entire room, despite the loud music. „HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FUCKING FACE HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I WILL END YOU“, you heard him scream, before he pushed your ex-boyfriend to the ground. In a second he was on top of him, yelling: „YOU BROKE HER HEART AND YOU DARE SHOW UP HERE KNOWING SHE WOULD BE HERE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU IGNORANT LITTLE SHIT?!!“ The DJ had turned the music off, everyone was starring at the two guys on the ground, but nobody moved. Jackson was scary, when he got angry. His bandmates were watching him closely and as he raised his fist, JB finally moved to stop him, but you were faster. In a second you crossed the room to where your best friend and ex-boyfriend were lying on the ground. You got down on your knees, grabbed Jackson’s fist and softly said: „Don’t.“ He looked at you, resisting for a second, but complying with your wish as he saw the sincerity in your eyes. „He’s not even worth it“, you added before getting up and pulling Jackson up with you. You took a look at the man left on the floor. „Leave, Jiyong, I won’t hold him back next time“, you said in a cold voice. You didn’t wait for Jiyong to get up, but turned around to follow Jackson, who was on his way outside to cool off. As you followed him you could hear BamBam say „Oh my god you almost punched G-Dragon, what the fuck Jackson??“ But he quickly shut up, after Jackson shot him a glare.
Outside you, Jackson and JB were standing around, not talking for awhile until JB broke the silence saying: „What is he even doing here?“ You shook your head slowly. „I have no idea… I didn’t see his name on the guest list… I… I really don’t know why he would… he knew that I…“ your next words got cut off by the tears streaming down your face now. Jackson pulled you into a big hug, kissing your hair, mumbling „I’m so sorry, I will end him“ over and over again as you were crying. JB left to give you some time and space, but after a while you could hear him yell: „SERIOUSLY??“ and the music that had picked up again stopped for a second time this night. Jackson looked inside, but didn’t let go of you. You freed yourself of his grip and looked through the glass door, not succeeding in finding the reason for JB’s sudden outburst. „I’ll see what happened, I want you to stay here and cool off for a bit more, I’ll be back in a second“, you quickly assured Jackson, who nodded and got out a cigarette. When you went back inside you could immediately see why JB had been yelling. There he was, Jiyong in all his glory, still in the middle of the room. „I have to talk to her“, you heard him say. JB laughed a humorless laugh and shook his head. „No, you know what you need to do? You need to GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU.BROKE.HER.HEART.“ Jiyong who had been surprisingly calm so far finally snapped and shot back: „You have no idea what happened so why don’t you back the fuck off and let me talk to her??? I broke my own fucking heart way more than I broke hers, believe it or believe it the fuck not! Who do you even think you are talking to me like this??“ You had made your way towards the two of them without either of them noticing and softly but determinedly pushed the taller boy away from your ex-boyfriend. „He’s one of my best friends, who the fuck do you think you are, showing up here without being invited, causing a ruckus and making everyone, especially me, uncomfortable?“ Jiyong’s eyebrow shot up, the way it always did when he was surprised. „I… I wanted to… I need to…“ he stammered before you interrupted him, saying: „The only thing you need to do is leave.“ You were surprised at yourself, partly because of the coldness in your voice, partly because you hadn’t broken out in tears in front of him yet. Jiyong shook his head slowly and seemed to search for the right things to say. Everyone was watching you intently and the silence got more awkward by the second. After a few more seconds he looked directly into your eyes and whispered: „You look especially beautiful tonight, babygirl.“ This was the last thing you had expected him to say and you stumbled against the wall trying to hold yourself up on your legs. Jiyong took your hand under loud protest of JB, who was silenced by a wave of your free hand. „Please“, he whispered, „I have to talk to you. I have to explain.“ You swallowed and looked into his eyes. „It’s been two months, what is there to explain now. You don’t love me anymore, I know. I don’t need to hear it again, once was enough.“ A tear was running down your face now and he quickly wiped it away with his thumb. „Please give me a chance, there’s some things you have to hear…“ he trailed off awaiting your answer. You pondered it for a second before saying: „Stay. But I don’t want to talk yet. If you’re still here at the end of the night and I feel like it, I will hear you out.“ He gave your hand a squeeze and nodded. „I will be here“, he promised. You sighed and turned around, moving away from him when you suddenly turned around again. „Do you want a drink?“ you asked him. „I’ll get it myself, thanks (Y/N).“ Hearing him say your name made you weak in the knees and you had to regain your balance by grabbing on to the person nearest to you, who turned out to be Jackson, who had just gotten back inside. He quickly wrapped his arm around your waist. „What the fuck is this jerk still doing here?!“ he asked you, aggressively, ready to attack Jiyong. „It’s okay, I’ll explain later“, you told him and he nodded and let it go. He knew how much Jiyong hurt you when the break up happened and he wasn’t about to destroy your night even further by questioning your choices and making you relive the break up.
Everyone seemed to have digested the spectacle put on by Jiyong, JB and you and the music started again. You smiled at Jackson and pointed at the dance floor: „Wanna dance?“ He nodded and pulled you on the dance floor. After a while you were singing, dancing and laughing as if nothing had happened and the only thing that changed was Jiyong watching you from a little table off the side of the dance floor. As Jackson was called away by his band members for a quick photo session you got a drink at the bar when you suddenly felt someone next to you. You didn’t have to turn to look at the person to know it was your ex-boyfriend. „You enjoying yourself?“ you asked, after ordering a Tequila Sunrise. „Yeah… I’ve got a good view“, he joked and you laughed. „Is that so?“ you shot back and looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, drink now in hand. Jiyong nodded and smiled at you. You looked down at your drink quickly and took a big gulp. You were still pathetically in love with him and there was nothing to be done about it. Before the silence could get awkward Jiyong held his glass up to you. „You should try this, it’s called Zombie and apparently it has ALL the alcohol in it.“ You shook your head and jokingly said: „Oh god take it away!! I’m scared of Zombies, don’t you remember?“ He laughed at your joke, but took the glass away from you. „How could I ever forget. I remember that one time we were watching this really funny Zombie movie and you were so scared anyway, what was it called?“ You laughed, recalling the movie night you had with him and the rest of BigBang. „Shaun of the Dead. And excuse you, it wasn’t funny, it was terrifying. Seungri almost peed himself.“ Jiyong had to put down his glass on the bar from laughing so hard at the memory. „He still maintains that never happened and that he was simply sympathizing with you.“ You snorted and replied: „He’s full of shit, tell him that from me.“ „Tell him yourself next time you see him!“ Jiyong suggested immediately. You stopped laughing suddenly and remembered who you were talking to and why you would never talk to the guy you were laughing about ever again. „No… No I don’t think I will… I have to go now, socialize with other people, I think I saw… someone I know back there…“ and with these words you made your way through the crowd away from him, looking for Jackson. After a while you found him, looking for you. „Are you okay? You know we can kick him out, right?“ You shook your head: „It’s fine, I wanna hear what he has to say later. But I want to make him wait… can we drink more?“ At your words a big grin spread across your best friends face. Your wish is my command he said, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniel’s out from seemingly nowhere. „Do I dare ask where you stored that…?“ You laughed. Jackson chuckled and shrugged: „I will never reveal my tricks.“ After another hour of dancing and drinking you felt very light headed and slightly intoxicated. The Jack Daniel’s bottle was almost empty. Jackson, still being mad about Jiyong showing up drank most of it and decided to sit down and eat something, while you remained on the dance floor, swaying your hips to a rap song.
All of a sudden you felt hands on your hips, pulling you closer. You turned around, throwing your arms around the neck of the person touching you, thinking it was Jackson, but, much to your surprise, coming face to face with Jiyong, who was bringing his forehead against yours, pulling you even closer in the process. You leaned over to his ear, still swaying from left to right, whispering „What are you doing?“ into his ear softly. You could feel him shiver and he stopped dancing for a split second before he caught himself again. „It’s our song“, he said matter-of-factly and when you paid attention to the song that had just been background noise a second ago you realized he was right. „Take Care“ by Drake was blaring out of the speakers. You looked into Jiyong’s eyes before leaning up to his ear once again and softly starting to sing along to Rihanna’s part. He buried his face in your neck and held you tight as he listened to your voice. When you reached Drake’s part he took over, while now looking straight into your eyes. The lyrics filled your head completely. „Can’t deny that I want you, but I’ll lie if I have to, cause you don’t say you love me to your friends when they ask you, even though we both know that you do…“ „You do?“ You softly sang back at him, coming out more as a question than a statement, as was originally intended by the song’s writer. In that moment you could have sworn your ex-boyfriend nodded softly, but you weren’t sure, because a hand was prying you away from him forcefully. Jackson turned you around and made you look at his face. „Listen. I know you’re drunk. I know you love him. But what the fuck (Y/N)??!!“ „I… Jackson I’m… I’m sorry… it’s just… it’s…“ „Your song, I know“, your best friend shot back, „you think I don’t know? If you want to talk to him, talk, but don’t dance with him and get all lovey dovey again, before you know why he’s here. He’s going to break your heart again and I will be here to pick up the pieces.“ You nodded softly and turned around to Jiyong. „Let’s talk. I’m ready to hear what you have to say. You get 10 minutes“, you told him and walked toward the back door and onto the patio.
It was colder than it was when you first went outside with Jackson a few hours ago and you shivered immediately, wishing you had brought your jacket. Jiyong, who had followed closely behind you, took of his jacket and carefully wrapped it around you. You put it on and smiled a little smile at him, saying „Thanks“ quietly. He just nodded and started awkwardly bobbing around on his feet. After a while of silence you were fed up with him not saying anything and you looked at your phone. „8 minutes left“, you reminded him, coldly. Half of you wanted to hug and kiss him and the other half wanted him to just leave and right now the second half was taking over and you got slightly annoyed at the beautiful man standing in front of you. „Okay…“, he started and took one more deep breath before he said his next sentence, „I don’t know how to put this best, so I’m just going to say it. I love you. Still. Always. Forever. I never stopped. Not even for a minute. Not even for a second. I… I broke up with you, because I knew you’d get the job… I knew you’d get it and you’d leave for Japan and I couldn’t stand it… I got so used to you being in Seoul, living with me, working here and I didn’t want to lose it. I thought about asking you to not take the job. But I didn’t want to destroy this for you… It was stupid and I’m sorry and when you didn’t take the job I wanted to tell you everything, but I realized I couldn’t, because I broke your heart and you would hate me forever, but I can’t take it anymore. I thought I could come here tonight and tell you about it and you’d slap me and then we’d drink and try to be friends. But I’m looking at you and I’m falling… falling for you all over again. I love you so much, I will always love you and I know you hate me, but I had to tell you. You had to know. I couldn’t live with myself knowing you think I don’t love you. I love you. I have always loved you. You're the one. And I messed up. I destroyed everything we had going. And I want to ask you to give me another chance and stay with me, but I can’t be that selfish with you so I will just leave now. That’s all.“ He had been talking so fast you had a hard time processing everything he had said. He had already turned around and reached the door when the reality of everything he had said hit you and you could only say: „No. Wait. What?“ Jiyong turned around when he heard your voice and looked at you with tears in his eyes. You looked back at him and asked: „Did you just say you love me?“ He nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. „Can you come back here for a second?“ He moved towards you, unsure. Once he was standing right in front of you, you raised your hand and slapped him hard across his face. He gasped in surprise, but didn’t pull back. „That was for breaking up with me.“ You slapped him again, harder this time, he winced. „That was for doing it for a stupid reason.“ You raised your hand again, but thought better of it. „The next few ones would have been for thinking you couldn’t talk to me, thinking we couldn’t make it work and especially for making me believe you don’t love me. But I’ll spare you, because there’s something I wanted to do for the last two months that I couldn’t…“ you told him, letting your voice trail off. A second later your hands were in his hair and you pulled him down to you and crashed your lips against his. For a moment Jiyong was taken by surprise, but he recovered quickly, placing his hands on your back and pulling you into a tight embrace, kissing you passionately. He pulled away every now and then mumbling „I love you“ against your lips in between kisses. This continued until your lips were numb. You softly pulled at his hair and made him back off a little. He hugged you to him and hid his face in your hair, breathing in your scent deeply. „You have no idea how much I missed you… this… us“, he said into your hair. You chuckled and retorted: „I think I have a pretty good idea you asshole.“ He winced and laughed and said: „I deserved that.“ You nodded against his chest and planted a soft kiss on his shirt. You stood like this for what felt like hours when you suddenly realized he was only wearing a shirt and it was freezing. „Ji, it's freezing cold, we should go inside.“ „What did you just call me?“ he asked. „Ji…“ you repeated yourself. He pulled your head up for another kiss and said: „You have no idea how much I missed you saying my name like that… I don’t want to go inside yet… I’m afraid this will all be over once we step inside… I don’t want to lose you again…“ You swallowed away the urge to cry and looked up at him. „Me neither Ji… but… I’m not sure if I can… trust you… forgive you… you know…“ He nodded: „I know… which is why I don’t mind the cold, I want to stay like this.“ He hugged you close to him again and kept you in place with his strong grip. „Ji…?“ you said, after a while, not sure if you would regret the next words that were about to come out of your mouth. „Mhm?“ „Will you take me home now?“ He backed off a little to look at your face and asked: „As in drive you to your apartment or as in…“ he didn’t finish his sentence so you did it for him: „As in I want to spend the night with you at your place.“ He nodded slowly, absolutely speechless for a moment. „Are you sure?“ You nodded. „I missed you so much I just… don’t want to let you go yet.“ He bowed down to kiss you softly. „Let’s go“, he mumbled against your lips. You went back inside and as you passed Jackson you told Jiyong to wait in the car so you could fill in your best friend on what had happened. He nodded while you told him and scratched his head every now and then, obviously processing what you were saying. After you were done he pulled you in a hug and kissed you on the forehead. „You know I always liked him until he pulled that shit 2 months ago… I believe what he says. I believe you know what’s best for you. But tell him if he pulls a stunt like that again, I will find him and he will be very very sorry.“ You smiled at your best friend and kissed him on the cheek lightly. „I will babe, thank you.“ „Now go have a good night!“ he called after you as you were already disappearing through the crowd.
You rode the car in silence, listening to one of the CD’s you had made for him over 3 years ago, when you had just had your 1 year anniversary. The songs were mostly songs that had reminded you of him and your time together and the genres were all over the place, but you both still loved it. You looked into the glove compartment of his car and saw all of your CD’s right where they had always been. A smile spread across your face and you casually took his right hand and interlinked your fingers. He immediately brought your hand up to his lips and pressed a quick kiss onto it, which only made your smile grow. You arrived at his house and waited for Jiyong to open your door for you, the way he had always insisted on doing. He climbed out of the car and the moment your feet touched the ground he picked you up and carried you to the door, bridal style. He sat you down to open the front door and then picked you back up, closing the door behind you with his foot. „Are you hungry?“ he asked and carried you straight up to the bedroom after you shook your head No. He put you down on the bed and got in next to you. You pulled him on top of you and you started kissing him hungrily, pulling his shirt over his head at the same time. His hands were roaming your body over your clothes and you let out a soft moan every time he brushed over a sensitive spot. Even with your clothes on he found all the right spots with ease. All of a sudden it felt like something was seriously off. „Jiyong, wait“, you said and pushed him off you. „What’s wrong?? Did I hurt you?“ he said, throwing up his hands and getting away from you. „No. No you didn’t. I’m sorry… I just… can we maybe… can we just…“ You hid your face in embarrassment and didn’t finish your sentence, but he understood you anyway. He got up and went to the huge walk-in closet, pulling out sweatpants for him and the pair you had left at his place and one of his huge t-shirts for you. He gave you the clothes and went to change in the bathroom. You changed quickly and crawled under the blanket. He came back wearing sweatpants and a shirt and lay down next to you. He quickly pulled you into a hug, making sure you were okay with it first. „I’m sorry“, you whispered, almost incomprehensible. He shook his head intensely. „I’m sorry, baby girl“, he said, planting a kiss on your head. „I’m so so sorry and I love you so much and I never want to let you go again and I will give you all the time in the world, I will wait for you. For worse or for better. Just… please stay with me.“ You nodded and hugged him tightly. „Forever“, you mumbled, before drifting off into a calm sleep.