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My husband was a dreamer. He dreamed various dreams in life. I’m not talking about the kinds that happen in your head while you’re sleeping. I’m talking about the kind that people who share deep bond and love tell each other.
You all know what I mean. Be it a dream to build a house of your own. To have a family. To have a child and to hold that child in your own arms. To travel between planets. To go to places unknown to man. And even, to fall in love over and over again with the one you love.
Keith dreamed all of those before. Well, maybe except for the child thing. We didn’t want to rush things, anyway. But yes, he did dream the others. And let me tell you one thing. He made them all a reality.
Both of us had done all those dreams before. Except for one. And one day, Keith managed to make it came true.
I remember vividly of the day he surprised me with a house by the cliff. He said to me, “it’s for the two of us. Just us.” I remember looking him right into his beautiful eyes that I always got lost in them and said nothing, simply because I couldn’t comprehend what was right in front of my eyes. He built an entire house. Not just for me, but so that I and he got to spend the rest of our lives there.
Later, we moved into the house. We decorated it with our own hands. We even had a garden, a tiny little one. There was only so much you could do when your house stood by the cliff. But we did our best and it was enough.
From the very first second we moved in, Keith managed to surprise me countless times. He learned how to properly cook food, so we didn’t have to order. The first thing he did for me were pancakes. Just, you know, simple pancakes. But I felt the love and the effort he took in each bite.
One time, he gave me a Christmas present I’ll never forget. It was a knitted black-and-red scarf with little lions of those same two colors all over it. He said to me, “it’s cold outside and I thought you’re going to need it.”
I still wear it to this very day. It’s a reminder for me. A reminder of what he’d do to make me happy.
I used to ask him about dreams. I asked, “is there any other dreams you have in mind?” He replied to me with a kiss and a warm embrace.
I asked again and he replied, “to be with you. Always.”
Whenever I asked him about it, his answer was the same. Every time.
Years after we moved into the house, Keith was struck with an incurable disease. During that time, it was so new no doctors had vaccines or ways to cure it just yet.
I was lost, so lost. It was like the whole world came crashing down and there was nothing left but the void. A hole had been left in my heart, and in all of you too.
Of all the people, it had to be Keith. My Keith. Our Keith.
I tried to find the reason why. I searched for the answers in all of the places I could but I couldn’t. I traveled to planets after planets just to see if there’s anyone that could help. No one could. I didn’t blame them, you know. Something that can go wrong, will go wrong. That philosophy sounded ridiculous when I first heard it. I just never thought I’d have to face it in person.
During the last months of his life, we moved the life support and all the machines keeping him alive back to our house. I spent hours and hours learning how to do what he learned how to do. My abilities were no match for him, but Keith didn’t mind.
Every night, I kissed him goodnight and told him we’d see each other again in the morning. The fear of losing him clung to me and never let go. I couldn’t sleep for many nights. But every morning that I woke up, I’d see him smiling at me and him holding my hand in his.
“You’ll be fine”, I said. “You’ll be fine.” Keith just shook his head. He knew his time was up.
“It’s okay. At least, I’m here with you,” he said.
Those words still haunt me to this day. To this very moment that I’m standing here before you all.
One night, I asked him about his dream. I told him of how this might be the one dream he could not achieve. Keith, as always, just smiled at me. He said, and this will forever be remembered, “I did it. We did it. Always didn’t mean forever and that’s okay with me.”
I kissed him goodnight and hoped the same as always.
The next morning, he passed away. His hand still holding mine.
Me and Keith, we came close to meeting death plenty of times back in the days when we were fighting against the enemies. We were afraid. We were scared. But we braved through it. Of all the things in life that can kill a person, I never thought it’d be a disease that took him away.
I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t think there’s more to say. If there’s one thing to be spoken about Keith, my husband, it’d be that he was a dreamer until the very end and a brilliant and beautiful at that.
Keith Shirogane, just like you always taught me, I will forever dream. To honor you. To remember you. And the most important, to love you, always.