Chapter Text
He was finally done. The bathroom seemed... okay. Well, for Robbie's standards.
And if you ignored the broken light, it even felt quite comfortable.
Dark and maybe rusty, but all in all comfortable.
He had to get a new light bulb soon, but it was Sunday and he wouldn't leave the lair now. Or tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow.
Groaning, Robbie got rid of his dirty clothes and changed into his bathrobe. With every minute passing, his stomach felt worse.
He had known that this wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, but he couldn't just have said nothing, couldn't he? He and his big mouth.
In fact, it had been that idiot's idea from the very beginning. Robbie hated it when Sportacus' face was waiting with anticipation. It wasn't just his face, but rather his whole body. Like, calm down, please stop bouncing you're making me all jumpy.
Robbie stood in front of the bathtub, his hands on his hips.
And because of that typical, awful glowing in Sportacus' eyes, his bouncing feet and excited voice, Robbie had agreed to... this.
* * *
Some days earlier.
Robbie had collapsed. Again. He had been working on a new plan to capture Sportacus and get him finally out of town (forever!), as fatigue overcame him. He hadn't had a coffee this day and he had also relinquished the cake breakfast because he still had much work to do to get the trap of the day ready. Unfortunately, of all people, Sportacus had found him. He had given him fruits against his will and some water. But this hadn't been enough, according to the sports elf.
To stabilise Robbie, he had dragged him into his airship under a cold shower. Robbie had never moved faster in his life than escaping that ice cold hell.
“Robbie, cold showers are good for you.”
He'll always remember that stupid sentence. His accent didn't make it any better.
His answer had been a sarcastic: “Great, so are sportscandy and exercise. Have you ever seen me try that? No. I won't be missing too much.”
He was about to leave the airship when he turned around one last time, trying to hide the fear in his eyes.
“... Can you get me down? It's your fault I'm up here after all.”
After Sportacus had dropped him safely above his hide-out, he hadn't been able to help firing one last comment about Robbie's unhealthy behaviour and how he could improve his body to prevent another collapse. Without using the words “more exercise” and “vegetables” certainly. Because he thought Robbie was dumb after all.
Of course he had meant to be friendly and thoughtful, but Robbie hated it. He hated all of his stilted behaviour. Oh, the glorious sports elf. Oh, the slightly above average hero. Ohhh, pleeease, Sportacus, save me!
Ugh.
He could hear their voices everyday. Their cries for help. And it made him angry.
Still, after all this time, he tried to be like everybody else. He always said he wasn't something special.
But, technically, Sportacus was better than anybody in that god forsaken town. In almost everything. On top of that, he did everything possible to seem “normal”. And that was what drove Robbie nuts.
Because it never worked.
After that incident he had told him he shouldn’t talk about things he wouldn't understand. He had rolled his eyes. “Besides,” he had stated, “nothing is better than a hot bath. It's relaxing and you can calm down better than while freezing to death under your shower.”
Robbie didn't really remember Sportacus' precocious answer, but he kinda invited himself to pursue Robbie's never made suggestion to share a hot bath with him.
* * *
And now, he had a problem – to say the least.
He didn't know when exactly that blue flippity elf would arrive, but he had so much work left to do. He rummaged around in his lair to find replacement bulbs, but he only managed to dig up some old purple candles. They looked like they were buried decades ago, but they would have to do.
He couldn't even remember why he had bought them in the first place. All kinds of things were spread out on the ground now. Old magazines, coffee beans, yellowed photos, some dead plants with loose reddish petals and dusty blankets. In all this mess he even found a rather antique book from his past. A really embarrassing guidebook on “How to date”. He remembered he had gotten it when he had been roughly thirteen or fourteen and very, very desperate.
Robbie shook his head in self-hatred and looked at the mess that he had obviously made worse.
He sighed in exertion.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be.
He quickly tidied up everything he could take in his two hands and shoved it into an old storeroom. Half of the stuff fell out again, but he smashed the door close with such impact, that they didn't dare open again.
He then placed the candles at the edge of the bathtub and lit them with an old, very very old, lighter. It was a miracle that this thing still worked.
It was still pretty dark in the bathroom, Robbie had to admit.
This wouldn't be... … …
He went outside again, hectically looking for more candles or something similar, as a thought hit him with unpleasant brutality.
Robbie paused for a moment, standing right in front of his orange fuzzy chair, still carrying the embarrassing book under his arm. Why was he even making such an effort for this... meeting?
He didn't want to get Sportacus comfortable enough to stay, did he?
He just wanted to prove a point! It didn't matter what his lair looked like. He just wanted to demonstrate that a hot nice bath was way better than-
His silent justifications were interrupted as he heard someone coming down the pipe.
* * *
He knew he was early, early for Robbie's standards at least. Thus, Sportacus had expected many things to happen. Gnarling, or at least some exasperated comments.
But not Robbie standing in the middle of what other people would have called a living room, surrounded by cosy blankets and... some petals? He wore a bathrobe and didn't seem very pleased to see him. Which wasn't surprising at all. However, what drew his attention the most was the open bathroom door. From the corners of his eye Sportacus spotted flickering candlelight. His eyebrows raised in endless confusion. What was even going on?
His glance went back to Robbie, who didn't move an inch, and his stomach turned.
Was that really a guidebook on how to...
“Robbie, I don't-,” he started to explain, but he didn't know what to say. Mostly because he didn't know what he felt, either. Or rather, what he should feel. This was just weird.
Robbie seemed to notice. He smirked arrogantly. “What about hello Robbie. Nice to see you. Sorry I am too early.” He mimicked Sportacus' voice with flying colours. Sometimes he wondered why the kids always fell for his disguises. Now he knew.
“Am I?” Sportacus scratched his head. If he remembered correctly, they hadn't set up a time. But regarding this chaos, Robbie sure hadn't expected his arrival that early. “Can I help you with anything?” It was the only thing that came to his mind. He had to distract himself from the book and the blankets and all of the other weird stuff, which hinted at all kinds of things.
“I mean... I did invite myself, so...”
“Ah, you noticed?” Robbie's voice was pure sarcasm. The times in which that would have hurt Sportacus were over. He knew that this was Robbie's way to communicate.
The taller man put the book aside and faced him. “Well, since you asked...”
* * * To be continued * * *
So, this was the first part out of three. I hope you liked it. Have a nice Sunday!