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dongmin met myungjun in kindergarten. he had been guided into the room by, who dongmin would soon learn to be, his stepmother. the small boy was feeling around, as if he hadn't seen the classroom earlier during the tour, and he was new to the room. eventually he sat in the only empty seat in the class: the one right next to dongmin.
dongmin turned to myungjun and smiled, but the latter didn't even glance in his direction. instead he stared straight ahead, fingers tapping incessantly against the table.
dongmin watched as his stepmother spoke silently with the teachers for a few minutes; then she left. the teacher introduced myungjun to the class, explaining that he was blind and could use everybody's help. it all clicked for dongmin then. that would be the reason why myungjun wouldn't look at him, or smile back.
"hi myungjun, i'm dongmin," dongmin said as soon as the teacher had finished speaking. myungjun turned in the general direction of dongmin and smiled. dongmin still remembers how he felt when he saw that smile for the first time. everything seemed to stop, and all dongmin could focus on was the sunlight that seemed to be radiating off of myungjun in waves. it was truly beautiful, and he wanted to make sure myungjun knew. "your smile is really pretty," dongmin stated.
myungjun took a second to process the statement, his little kindergarten brain working quickly. "nobody has ever said that to me before," he muttered. dongmin grew worried, did he somehow manage to mess something up already? but then myungjun's (already huge) smile grew even wider, and his eyes fell shut and he said, "you're really nice dongmin. from now on we're going to be best friends! okay?"
relieved, dongmin responded quickly, "okay! ready."
~*~
in third grade dongmin and myungjun found themselves in the same class again. it had been requested by myungjun's family. apparently dongmin was an amazing help in getting myungjun out of his shell in kindergarten; a real boost to dongmin's confidence.
their third grade teacher was a firm believer in being able to get things done with teamwork above all else. so from the beginning of the year to the end, myungjun and dongmin were table mates and partners. while everybody else in the class had to switch it up every month, these two were left alone (it probably had something to do with myungjun's nervous meltdown after being placed at a table with a really loud kid by the name of jinwoo).
during creative writing one day dongmin had finished a story he was really proud of. myungjun had come up with the plot. he had suggested writing about a bird that should be able to fly, however this bird was different: this bird couldn't fly. and the goal of the story was to write about how the flightless bird could still get through their life, even without the ability to fly.
dongmin was inspired instantly. when he started writing the story he didn't stop writing until he was finished. and when he was finished he read it to myungjun, who was so happy that his story could come to life in such a realistic way.
when the rest of the class finished their stories, the teacher asked if anybody wanted to present. a few kids put their hands in the air, and the teacher called upon each of them one by one to read their story to the class. each story had made dongmin's confidence in his dwindle until it was barely there. so when the teacher asked for more volunteers, dongmin just sighed and kept his hand down.
myungjun could sense something wrong with dongmin, feeling the shift into a sad slouch next to him. "what's wrong dongmin?" myungjun asked, reaching for dongmin, hand landing on his shoulder.
"i wanted to present my story, because i really like it," dongmin explained. "but everybody else's was so good. what if they don't like mine?"
myungjun giggled, letting go of dongmin's shoulder to cover his mouth. "well, they don't have to like yours you know. if you like it, then that's enough." he reached for dongmin's shoulder again, patting it lightly. "plus, i like it. and if i like it then it's automatically the best thing ever because i have classy taste."
"sure you do," dongmin snorted. but he agreed with myungjun. if he liked his story then it was a good story. it shouldn't matter if nobody else liked it.
so when the opportunity to present came up again, dongmin's hand shot into the hair. the teacher called on him and dongmin prepared himself, feeling a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder from myungjun. "i believe in you, okay?" myungjun said.
dongmin nodded, "okay! ready."
~*~
in eighth grade dongmin had his first crush. she was a really pretty and friendly girl who dongmin towered over (he was a pretty tall guy). they were in the same class that year and by some miracle the teacher had placed their seats next to each other. dongmin thought this was really lucky, but at the same time it meant that he would have to actually talk to her.
worried, he called myungjun in a panic. "emergency," he said into the phone. "i have an emergency."
"something tells me this isn't a real emergency," myungjun responded, amused.
"well, what do you think qualifies as a real emergency?" dongmin asked, genuinely curious. he had forgotten his actual reason for calling myungjun, too lost in their casual conversation. before myungjun can come up with a response, though, dongmin is speaking again. "no this isn't why i called. i have an emergency, myungjun. a girl emergency."
myungjun went quiet for a few seconds. "a girl emergency you say? spill."
and that was all it took. dongmin began talking about this girl that he had accidentally developed a huge crush on, and myungjun listened intently. after a solid twenty minutes, dongmin finished.
"well somebody's got a crush," myungjun teased.
"i do not," dongmin stated, blushing. "she's just really really pretty."
"that's not important to me, you know that," myungjun said.
dongmin sighed, "right, sorry. she's really nice and she's always helping me with my work."
"seems like a good person," myungjun had agreed.
"she is. she's an amazing person. trust me. and she's shorter than me, which is pretty cool."
myungjun snickered. "i never understood the appeal with height. what's so special about it?"
"well i'm not sure exactly," dongmin admitted. "i think it's kinda cute. how they have to look up at you. and they have to stand on their tippy-toes to reach you."
"tippy-toes?"
"yeah, it's really cute. you know?"
"i don't even know what it means to stand on your tippy-toes."
"it's when you stand on the toes of your feet, to get taller so you can reach something high up. things like that."
myungjun made a sound of understanding through the phone. "i guess i just wouldn't understand. but what i've gathered from this conversation is that you enjoy the power that comes with being tall."
"i wouldn't say that," dongmin said defensively. "it's just really cute, okay?"
"i'm kidding, don't worry." after a little while of comfortable silence, myungjun spoke up again. "does that mean that you find me cute?"
dongmin spluttered. "what?" he asked, surprised.
"based on everything you've told me about this girl," myungjun explained. "how many of those qualities would you say i have?"
"well," dongmin hesitated, "you're shorter than me. and you're really nice, and funny too. and you help me with my work when i beg long enough."
"am i pretty too?"
"you're beautiful, myungjun," dongmin said without thinking.
all he heard on the other line was a quiet "oh." then he heard, "thank you dongmin. that means a lot, even though you're probably just saying that."
dongmin didn't know how to respond to that so he settled for a lame "uh-huh." after a couple more minutes of talking the two plan to hang up.
"hey dongmin, tomorrow, i want you to ask her out."
"but why?"
"i don't know. because you only live once? because what's the point of life if you aren't going to take risks sometimes? do it for me dongmin. if she says no, then she clearly doesn't know what she's missing."
dongmin thought about it. if he went through with this, he'd either have a really really nice girlfriend, or he would be stuck sitting with somebody who rejected him for the rest of the year. "okay. i'll ask her out."
"really?" myungjun sounded surprised. "you can do this. tell me how it goes, okay?"
"okay! ready."
(she said no. however dongmin was almost happy, because during that phone call he realized something about himself. and maybe a girlfriend wasn't what he needed then.)
~*~
on dongmin's birthday during their senior year of high school myungjun slept over. they had slept over at each other's houses several times in the past, but they considered this a party for dongmin.
they were relaxing on dongmin's bed next to each other while listening to music. they were talking about their classes and their teachers and their plans for the future.
myungjun had been repeatedly thanking dongmin for the recording equipment the latter had gotten him for his birthday a couple weeks prior. dongmin of course told him it was no problem; myungjun's happiness was enough.
"i've been using it so much," myungjun said. "seriously i love it so much. thank you."
"don't worry about it," dongmin smiled to himself. "as long as i get to hear something you recorded with it."
"of course," myungjun assured. he smiled in dongmin's direction. gosh, dongmin loved that smile. it was so happy. it made myungjun seem like such a happy and genuine person - which he was.
myungjun slowly brought his head to rest on dongmin's shoulder. his body was accustomed to the action, so he rarely missed. "remember when you called me beautiful, in eighth grade?" myungjun questioned suddenly.
taken aback, dongmin didn't answer right away. "yeah, i do," he said finally. "why?"
myungjun shrugged. "just wondering. do you still think so?"
"yes," dongmin responded, this time without hesitation.
"how?" myungjun whispered, almost as if he didn't want dongmin to hear. but dongmin heard, and he intended to tell him.
"your eyes," dongmin began, "are the most beautiful shade of brown i've ever seen."
"i've never heard somebody describe the color brown as beautiful before," myungjun said.
"your nose," dongmin continued, poking myungjun's in a teasing manner. "your nose fits your face perfectly. it looks like it belongs there. which is good. because for some unlucky people their nose looks out of place." myungjun nodded in thought. "and your smile. well your smile is really really wide and happy. and you have nice teeth, so your smile shows them off nicely. honestly, when you smile you look the best. it looks like all the problems in the world could be solved by your smile alone. and i love that."
"nobody has ever said that to me before," myungjun sighed.
"have you ever asked anybody?" dongmin felt a shake of myungjun's head and his question was answered. "well now you know what makes you beautiful." dongmin heard a sniffle from myungjun and he grew a bit worried. in all the years they've known each other, myungjun had only cried in front of him once. and that was when he was telling dongmin about how his mother died right before kindergarten had started.
"thank you dongmin," myungjun muttered. "really, thank you."
"it's no problem."
"no seriously," myungjun said, sitting up and wiping away a few tears. "c-can i tell you something?" he stuttered.
"of course you can."
"my favorite color is yellow," myungjun declared. "it's yellow because people always tell me that when they see yellow they think of happiness. they tell me that yellow is a happy color. and i believe them, because i'm really in no position to not believe them. when i'm with you, dongmin, i feel happy." he paused, taking a break to let out a few meager sobs. "all i want is to be able to see, dongmin. i want to see color. i want to see the trees. i want to see the little adorable puppies. i want to see the sunset that everybody tells me is so beautiful. i want to see my homework, dongmin. i w-wanted to see my mom. i want to see you. you, dongmin, i want to see you." he wiped more tears away. "i want to look in a mirror and see my face. my eyes, my nose, my smile. i want to see the grass. i want to see the bugs. i don't want to die before i get to see these things, dongmin. and it makes me so sad knowing that i probably will never be able to see these things. but i just wa-"
myungjun was cut off by dongmin wrapping his arms around him in a warm and gentle embrace. myungjun just continued to cry into dongmin's inviting shoulder. dongmin didn't stop him like he might've had he been anybody else on the planet. after a few minutes of dongmin gently humming to calm myungjun down, dongmin spoke up. "myungjun, i want you to know that i love you. i love you so so much. and if it meant your happiness, i'd give you my sight. you deserve to be able to see these things. i want you to be able to see these things. i want you to be able to see just how beautiful you are." dongmin placed a delicate kiss on myungjun's forehead.
"i will never be able to see, dongmin."
"you may not be able to see in the standard way of seeing, but that doesn't mean you aren't able to see in other ways." dongmin took a deep breath. "i'm going to help you see. it'll be our own special thing. you may not be able to see a real sunset, but you'll be able to grasp the feeling of one. i want that for you, if you'll let me. okay?"
with tear stained cheeks, myungjun let a small, genuine smile grace his lips. he nodded, "okay! ready."
~*~
a couple years after graduating from college, dongmin got a job at a fancy entertainment company. he worked behind the scenes, on a computer all day everyday. myungjun on the other hand got lucky and got a job making music. they moved in together halfway through their college experience. and a year after that they started dating (myungjun made the first move, completely unexpectedly).
dongmin had arrived home after a long day at work to find myungjun passed out on the living room couch. dongmin found it endearing, how if myungjun was tired enough he could fall asleep anywhere and in any position. dongmin walked towards him and started to shake him a bit to wake him up.
"if it's an intruder i'll have you know i'm gifted in the art of kickboxing," myungjun said with a deep and sleepy sounding voice. he put his fists in front of him in a half-assed attempt at looking intimidating.
"is that really what you would say if an intruder came in?" dongmin questioned, laughing to himself. he pushed myungjun's hands away, to which myungjun complied.
he nodded, "of course. it isn't a lie you know. i am really a kickboxing king."
"come to bed," dongmin demanded, changing the subject. "the couch is uncomfortable."
"you would say that because you're, what? eight feet?" myungjun complained, but he stood up anyway, letting dongmin take his hand.
"six actually," dongmin corrected, beginning the walk to their bedroom. "but that couch is small, don't lie. you were uncomfortable."
"if you're tired enough anywhere is confortable, dongmin," myungjun said wisely. dongmin didn't respond but he didn't need to, myungjun knew he accepted the answer. dongmin stopped, guiding myungjun through the doorway to their bedroom and to their bed.
before myungjun could fall asleep, dongmin spoke up again. "hey myungjun?"
"yes darling?" myungjun asked sleepily.
"we should get married."
myungjun coughs. "well that was sudden."
"is sudden a bad thing?"
"no, it's just- is this your way of proposing or something? aren't you supposed to do that with a fancy ring?"
"rings are overrated," dongmin claimed. "we are an untraditional couple so the way i propose should of course be untraditional."
myungjun just laughed. "i accept that response."
"so you'll marry me?" dongmin questioned, suddenly nervous. "is that what you're saying?"
"of course you fool," myungjun smiled. (the smile dongmin knows and loves.) marrying you would be wonderful. "but i warn you, the married life is stressful and you'll probably regret it. or so i've heard."
"that's okay, myungjun. i wouldn't ask you to marry me if i wasn't okay with the outcome. i love you, okay?"
dongmin reached for myungjun's hand and held it gently. "okay! ready."