Work Text:
You know, this writer friend of mine recently told me that they appreciate it when people take inspiration from their writing. Says it gives them a sense of pride over their work, and proof that others really do like their writing.
Now, I’d say that your writing was crossing the lines of merely “taking inspiration”, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Art is derivative after all.
I just thought this piece of news would make you more secure in your writing. I thought it’d make you a bit happier. There isn’t much else that can do that now, I think. So I thought I’d help.
Alright— This is sounding kind of cheesy now. You know I was never good with words, Ivan. But I guess I’m trying to say that—
I… It’s getting lonely without having you as a co-creator of our project.
But… On that “news piece” note, I know when you see this you’d probably question this writer friend of mine… Don’t worry, my friend. You’re still my writer. My one and only… writer.
You get jealous easily, you know? It’s kind of funny, but it’s nice to see that you care about me. It’s reassuring, after everything. After everything.
I bought a house, finally, and it’s pretty decent considering the price I got it for. It’s perched on a hill and the view is beautiful. You can see all the lights from below.
I’m still releasing games, as is my calling. It’s a little hard to develop plotlines and stories without a writer, and without writing skills.
I, the developer, am without his writer.
Or maybe I’m blowing out your literary talent out of proportion. After all, you did take too many creative liberties on your writing for my game. Always took “inspiration” from other writers, you said, but your results lack originality. Your art lacks authenticity. Are your words sincere? Are “your” quotes sincere? Are your apologies sincere? Are your words sincere, Ivan?
But I guess my games are “derivative” too. Maybe I’m also guilty of being insincere.
Perhaps we’re both guilty of everything dark and ugly in this friendship we had. Perhaps we’ve both contributed to all the bad things that happened during our time together. Perhaps we’ve both taken after our parents. Perhaps our feelings are derived from theirs.
This relationship was meaner than most. But, I believe… We were both trying our best. And I think you can find sincerity in that.
This whole letter is just me spewing out my feelings in such a clumsy way, so I’m sorry for that. You know I was never good with words. But you aren’t either.
Maybe that’s why we could never find the words to say “I love you,” to each other.