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Janus just knew it was going to be a bad day before he even opened his eyes that morning.
The signs had all been there. He’d been growing steadily more irritable and lethargic for the past few days, his hunger had tapered off into nothing, and the edges of his scales had started catching on his clothes in a way he knew only too well.
Opening his eyes only confirmed his suspicion, half the world a haze of blurry color, milky white tinted with a bluish hue. Even his human side’s eye was a little blurry, straining hard to make up for his other half. He already felt a headache begin to build, closing his eyes again and relaxing at the soothing dark.
Fuck, he hated shedding.
It wasn’t as if he was entirely a snake! It was completely ridiculous that this even happened to him at all! A long, irritated groan escaped him as he rolled over, curling up under his comforter like he could avoid the world. Subconsciously, his room grew a little more humid, and while he knew he needed it, the sweat that immediately started beading along the right side of his forehead wasn’t exactly relaxing.
A bath would be relaxing, but he didn’t have it in him yet to rise from the comfortable sheets and go through the arduous process of getting to the bathroom and finding all the products he’d need, actually running the bath, waiting in that cold tiled room. All half blind. Already he rebelled against the thought, curling in on himself tighter.
Unprompted, an idea flit through his mind. He could summon someone to help…
Instantly he squashed that thought hard. No, he would not be seen like this! It was a pathetic, disgusting display already, he wouldn’t go around begging.
It used to be easier, back before… before Virgil left. While he’d never been a ray of sunshine about it, he’d helped quietly, and it was one of the very few things he’d never held over Janus’ head. Remus could help in a pinch, but he was too unpredictable to rely on completely, and the amount of reigning in Janus had to do with the chaotic side hardly justified calling on him in the first place.
No… no, he’d been alone in this for a while now. And he’d continue to handle it alone. He’d get to the bath eventually, for now, it was fine to just curl up and shut everything else out.
Knock knock knock
Or perhaps today he’d finally take Remus’ advice and actually kill someone.
The sharp rapping at his door made him hiss, curling away from the sound. Of course someone was looking for him now.
“What?!” He snapped, the hiss still lingering. It was angrier than he’d intended, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
“Janus, I am coming in.”
Logan.
No, no, no.
They’d been in a… well, a something for a few months now, along with Remus. It had been wonderful, Logan finding a niche for himself in whatever relationship this was quickly and settling in. It was nearly domestic, the way they all seemed to taunt and tease affectionately, Logan catching on quick and using that sharp wit of his to its fullest, much to Janus’ delight. It felt easy, in a way Janus hadn’t been prepared for, and he’d already gotten far more attached to it than he’d originally planned.
Logan couldn’t see him like this. Not now, not when he was just so… pathetic.
However, before he could leap out of bed or wave a hand to seal the door, it opened, and Logan stepped in quickly, glancing around as he shut the door behind him with a gentle click. His eyes found the lump on the bed, narrowing slightly. “Remus was correct then. You are in shed.”
“Of course that idiot ran his dumb mouth.” He all but snarled, tugging the blankets closer around himself, like he could shield himself from this conversation with enough attitude. “Come to gawk at the freak show then?”
Logan stilled at that, turning to meet Janus’ angry eyes with that still deep blue gaze that always seemed to pull the fire right out of him.
“There is no reason to gawk, as you put it.” Logan began evenly, continuing his even pace past the bed, flicking the light in the bathroom on as he disappeared inside. Slightly muffled from distance, he continued unprompted, “Remus simply mentioned you would likely be unavailable for the time being due to your condition. Oddly enough, he cautioned me against showing up, and I now see why. He was correct in his assumption you would be particularly agitated.”
“You wake up half blind, with your skin crawling like you’re covered in fire ants, and see how cordial you feel.” Janus huffed, trying to keep up his annoyance but finding it difficult as he heard the water start to run. “And what exactly do you think you’re doing?”
“I am running you a warm bath.”
The answer brought his brain to a screeching halt, sitting up quickly despite the motion only making his head throb a little more, squinting against the light with his good eye to stare into the doorway. “Why?!”
Logan reappeared then, that perfectly postured stance filling the doorway and cutting off most of the light. He noticed Janus’ squinting and flicked the light off before the rambling began. “Because it is the most expedient path to you feeling better. I did some research into the subject beforehand, and I assumed correctly you’d have everything on hand. It seems warmer here already, but that cannot be comfortable for your more human half. The water is at precisely 87.5 degrees Fahrenheit, as the suggested range is 85-90 degrees, but if you prefer warmer, I will alter it. I have also added in your shed accelerant, according to the bottle instructions for minimum dosage. If you desire more, I will add it.”
“Not what I meant.” Janus huffed, trying to keep up the attitude. It wasn’t working, Logan had correctly guessed his routine down to the last detail, and it sounded like heaven. He just had to get there, and he wouldn’t be leaving this bed in his condition with a witness.
Logan watched him for another moment before his lip quirked up ever so slightly at the end, and Janus bristled at the notion that Logan could feel smug in this moment.
“Because I am here to assist you.”
The answer knocked his irritation away, throwing him again. What the fuck?
“And who said I needed assistance? Remus?” Janus shook his head. “I have handled my sheds alone for quite some time, I don’t need anyone meddling-“
“Virgil informed me.”
Janus froze, a million thoughts darting through his mind. Virgil wouldn’t just run his mouth about this, would he? Did he really hate Janus that much? That he would go spilling about this to anyone that would listen? The thoughts swirled, but he found he couldn’t spit out a single word, just gaping at Logan in shock.
“Not of his own accord, do not worry. It’s not something he talks about.” Logan held up a hand, a soothing gesture. Was his panic really that obvious? “I asked. Remus didn’t have much more to give other than knowing you’d want a bath and wouldn’t want food. I surmised he wasn’t your previous go-to for assistance, rightfully so, and so I paid Virgil a visit. He was surprisingly helpful, and even seemed a little relieved I was asking about it at all. Rest assured, he made me swear I wouldn’t repeat anything to the others, and I don’t intend to. This is your business, I am simply here to make it easier.”
Logan started towards him, stopping at his bedside to lean in closer, offering a hand. “I understand your sight isn’t at its best, if you are amenable, I will carry you.”
For once, Janus was shocked silent. He couldn’t think of a single word, nothing snarky or defensive would spring to his lips. He glanced down at the outstretched hand for a moment before slowly reaching out to take it. Logan’s approving nod sent a shiver through him, and he allowed the logical side to tug him closer, wrapping his arms over Logan’s shoulders as he requested, biting his lip to hold back a very dignified yelp when Logan slid a hand under his knees and lifted him with ease. If he noticed, Logan didn’t comment, walking them to the bathroom quickly.
“I assumed you’d rather not have an audience disrobing,” Logan began again in that even tone that was really starting to soothe, the tension slowly draining out of Janus’ shoulders. He was sat down gently on a towel folded carefully over the seat of a small chair near the side of the tub, already full of steaming water. “This should be close enough for you to gain access without running into anything. I will be right outside the door, should you require more assistance. Please do not hesitate to call.”
Before Logan could pull away too far, Janus tightened his grip on his shoulder, gritting his teeth for a moment before forcing out the admission, “I… it isn’t as if there’s anything you haven’t seen at this point. It’s all just in… poor condition at the moment…”
Stay.
Logan’s eyes softened a little at the unspoken demand. He’d gotten much better at reading Janus as of late, and it was as clear as if he’d shouted it. “Very well. It’s a far more logical decision, though I wouldn’t presume to make it for you.”
Polite as ever, Logan glanced away as Janus started pulling off his clothes, shirt unbuttoned and tugged off without more than an annoyed hiss. The pants followed, Janus standing momentarily only to find a firm, warm hand braced quickly at his waist. He decided then not to fight it anymore, the exhaustion he’d also been fighting against settling deeper into his bones. Whatever, if the nerd was so insistent on helping, who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?
Stepping into his familiar tub was significantly easier with Logan holding him, and he sank into the water with a groan that bordered on ecstasy. The water was nearly scalding, perfect to burn away that terrible itch that had been plaguing him, and even the skin that wasn’t submerged seemed to settle with the steam wafting off the surface. The back ledge of the tub had been slightly altered, a headrest situated perfectly for him to take advantage of, holding his head just out of the water.
“Keep your eye closed,” Logan muttered softly, and Janus obliged as something warm and damp settled over the left side of his face, soaking his scales in that same luxurious heat. “It's a simple washcloth, I ran the same water mixture in the sink so it remains clean. Let me know if it cools too much, and I will re-warm it.”
“You’re spoiling me.” Janus hummed, irritation finally washed away. “If you’re not careful, you’ll be stuck on shed duty forever.”
The chuckle that answered him was soft and amused, Logan clearly choosing to stay close by. “I have no issue with that. It’s unfortunate you’ve had to rely so heavily on only yourself for this long. I’m happy to be of assistance when you require it.”
There was something in Logan’s tone, something so genuine, like he really did enjoy being helpful, that had Janus biting back another snarky comment. Instead, he let silence settle between them, fully relaxing into the water. It really was much nicer when he didn’t have to drag himself around beforehand. He wasn’t nearly as exhausted as he usually was at this point. Perhaps he could even properly de-shed today, wouldn’t that be something? He hadn’t had the energy to go through that whole process on the first day of his shed in… well, he couldn’t remember how long it had been.
The washcloth on his face had barely begun to cool when it was lifted without a word, absent only for a moment before another took its place, earning a happy hum from Janus that Logan only chuckled at, quiet steps taking him just a little further away before they returned. Neither broke the silence, but Janus lifted his fully human arm from the water, draping it over the side of the tub with his hand held aloft, lightly dripping.
A silent request, one he couldn’t quite bring himself to verbalize. Yet.
Thankfully, Logan seemed to understand, taking the hand without hesitation, shifting their twined fingers into a more comfortable position for Janus’ arm. The little things this side noticed, quietly correcting them without drawing attention…
“You’re underappreciated, Logan.” He finally muttered, thumb rubbing gentle circles along the hand in his, “We’re unobservant, ungrateful, and don’t deserve the care you shower us with.”
There was a beat of silence before Logan spoke, his tone mildly amused. “Who is ‘we’ referring to in this instance?”
“All of us.” Janus didn’t hesitate, finally cracking his uncovered eye open to look over at Logan, finding a small but warm smile waiting. “I’d bet not a single one of us really understands the lengths you go to. Perhaps Virgil might be the closest, after yours truly, of course.”
“How humble of you,” Logan muttered, still clearly amused. He leaned closer, pressing a brief kiss to Janus’ temple before standing. “You’ve been in there long enough for the shed to soften. Would you prefer to try and work it off yourself, or would you like me to? And before you start to protest, I am aware of the proper technique and plan to test my skill on a small arm patch that won’t be as sensitive.”
“You have the locations of all my scales memorized?” Janus teased, the nasty mood from earlier a distant memory.
The look Logan turned on him, knowing and smug, had a chill running up his spine that had nothing to do with the water temperature.
“Of course I do.” He responded simply, like it was a given.
Janus waited, expecting him to elaborate, but nothing more came, Logan turning back to the sink, grabbing that second warm washcloth before returning to the tubside, though on Janus’ scaled side instead.
Before he could ask again, Janus lifted his arm from the water, offering it as he had before. The upper layer on each of his scale patches had peeled back in the water, only hanging on stubbornly in a few places. Logan’s grip was gentle, carefully rubbing the stubborn shed in little circles with the edge of the washcloth til it came loose and fell away. He caught it quickly before it fell into the water, glancing around before summoning a small bin by his feet to drop it in.
“Please do not hesitate to tell me about any discomfort. I would rather not cause you any more than you’re already in.” Logan glanced up, ensuring Janus nodded an affirmative before returning to his task.
It was heavenly, lounging and letting someone else take care of the annoying skin. And Logan hadn’t been exaggerating, he knew exactly how to remove it from the delicate scales. In fact, Janus barely noticed anything other than the gentle touch and the lack of itching.
Another patch fell away, higher on his tricep, and he couldn’t help a pleased little hum. Logan stopped for a moment, but when it was clear Janus wasn’t going to say more, he continued, patch after patch, till the whole arm was done. Without slowing his pace, Logan reached into the water, shifting Janus slightly to reach along his shoulder. The silent manhandling normally would have earned a little snark, but Janus didn’t have it in him, enjoying the quiet care perhaps a little too much.
Whatever. His shed was rare, and being assisted through it was even rarer. He wouldn’t ruin the opportunity now.
Though a wicked little thought zipped through his mind, the feeling of Logan’s steady hands working lower across his torso, perhaps a little fun wouldn’t be too bad. The moment Logan’s hands lifted off his scales, he shifted slightly, making the water ripple and splash up against the edge of the tub. Logan’s shirt caught most of it, soaking the fabric quickly, adhering it to Logan’s chest.
“Apologies.” The word dripped off his lips lazily, though there was really no way to tell if he meant it or was teasing, still so relaxed from all the careful pampering.
“It is of no consequence.” Logan waved a hand dismissively. “There was always a chance of this, I knew going in. It will dry.”
“Mmm,” Janus sank back down, glancing over Logan as he dabbed lightly at his shirt with a towel. “It would be a shame if you caught a cold, though. Perhaps you should simply take it off, that way it wouldn’t get any more wet.”
Technically true, but the words were a fairly transparent ploy, and Janus watched the realization light in Logan’s eyes. It was no secret Janus enjoyed ogling Logan’s physique, he’d said so on numerous occasions, mostly to fluster the nerd. This time was no different.
Well, at least he hadn’t intended it to be. But after a moment of thought, Logan nodded, loosening his tie before pulling it and the shirt off over his head in one fluid movement. “A fair point. I will need you to shift around a little more from this point on, it makes sense to beware of more splashing.”
Another technical truth, but even in his current state Janus could taste the dishonesty behind the words. Logan was humoring him with a show.
Far be it for him to complain.
A beautiful shirtless man absolutely pampering him through his shed without a hint of disgust or revulsion. Taking proper care with every inch of scale he came across, that gentle probing touch ensured his irritation was soothed. Logan hadn’t even commented on being snapped at earlier, and here he was, still humoring Janus.
“It really doesn’t bother you at all?” He finally worked up the courage to ask, Logan’s hand gentle on his thigh as he continued his task methodically.
“What? This?” Logan shook his head. “It’s not particularly strenuous.”
“No,” he interrupted quickly, “Not the work.”
Logan finally looked up at him then, that deep blue still calm and even. “There is nothing to be bothered by. It simply is, and I’m sure it affects you far more than it could ever bother any one of us. I am attempting to be empathetic to your discomfort, it cannot be easy to deal with, much less on your own.”
Empathy.
The word was chosen carefully, Janus could tell. Sympathy is the word most people would use, an annoying alternative that led most to pity in the name of making themselves feel like they’d done something. Empathy was different, and Logan was proving it with his actions, attempting to truly understand and offer tangible assistance. And he was nailing it.
“It’s just gross.” Janus finally dismissed it, waving the idea away. “Can’t be an appealing texture all wet like this.”
“All the more reason to remove it from your skin.” Logan’s little smile was back as he focused again, hand moving down Janus’ leg. He shifted a little, careful not to splash this time, to ensure Logan could reach easier.
The glance they shared this time was full of a mutual understanding.
The rest went quickly, Logan shifting him this way and that to ensure he’d taken care of every bit of scale, that nothing remained to annoy Janus later as it dried.
All that remained was his face. His least favorite part. The eye cap would be stubborn and uncomfortable to remove. Afterwards he’d be far more sensitive to light for a day or two. And it attached to his facial scales in a way he knew would irritate his more human anatomy in such a sensitive area.
“Well,” he hummed, trying to remain casual as he sat up, “I feel wonderful. You’ve done such a good job I think you’ll simply have to return for my next shed. Just hand me a towel and I-“
“We’re not done yet. And I think you know that.”
The words sliced through his comfort almost as quickly as the washcloth being lifted off his face did.
“It’s really fine, the rest can just-“
Logan let him ramble for a moment before pressing another soft kiss to his temple, “Trust me?”
Trust him?
How could he just ask that so easily?!
The indignation coiled up in his chest, but Janus found himself nodding anyway, laying his head back down despite the instinct to pull away.
“It will not be comfortable, and for that I am sorry.” Logan began, already rubbing soft little circles along his face, starting at the edge of his scales as usual. “But the sooner it is off, the sooner you’ll adjust back to normal.”
Janus opened his mouth, another snarky comment at the ready, but found Logan’s forearm suddenly at his lips instead, pressing towards his mouth.
“I have been warned,” he began, still steady and calm, “Your instinct can take over quickly in times of alarm. I will not hold this against you, but I’d prefer to know where your fangs are. Forgive me.”
He tugged lightly on the shed still connected at the corner of Janus’ eye, and before Janus could put a coherent thought together, the discomfort threw him into self-preservation, fangs sinking into the offered arm instantly.
Logan didn’t even wince, focused entirely on gently working the eye cap loose. It was uncomfortable, but there was no pain as the thin layer finally popped away, and Janus couldn’t help the relieved whine that crawled up his throat as he melted back into the warm water.
“There.” Logan nodded, releasing Janus carefully before inspecting his arm. “Not bad at all. And that should be the last of it as well.”
“Your arm…” he tried to protest.
Logan just snorted dismissively, thumbing at the little puncture wounds before waving them away completely. “Please. You’ve done much worse before, and never in such a convenient place.”
He shifted away only momentarily before returning with a large towel. “Here. Let’s get you dried off.”
Another brief silence fell, and Janus simply nodded, standing out of the water and taking Logan’s offered hand again. He was wrapped in the towel, somehow warmed already, and quickly scooped back into Logan’s arms, carried back to his bed. Before he was set down, Logan snapped, and the sweat-damp sheets were quickly swapped with fresh dry ones.
He allowed himself to be tucked in, carefully bundled in the sheets. Even dry now, he no longer itched, and it was only too easy to sink into his comfortable bed with relief.
“Anything else I can help you with?” Logan finally muttered once he was content with the arrangement of the blankets.
“Stay,” Janus mumbled. The combination of natural exhaustion and finally being comfortable again mixed to create a delightfully drowsy feeling.
Logan’s soft chuckle didn’t help, but his weight did, settling in on top of the sheets behind Janus before tugging him closer into that delicious warmth. “Rest. I will be here when you wake.”
He didn’t have to be told twice. The day hadn’t been even half as bad as he’d expected, and not for the first time he had to remind himself to take his own advice.
Selfish wasn’t a dirty word.