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The sun was surprisingly warm and bright when the group of 4 (le sserafim - eunchae) walked through the streets of Amsterdam. Water in the canals shone in the light, and reflected back into kazuha's eyes as she stared.
It was so wierd walking here again, as if no time had passed, but at the same time so much.
Two days ago she got all emotional about it. Couldn't stop staring at the buildings and shops she always passed on her way to school. Her heart squeezed up whenever a tram rode by, or a person on a bike raced through the streets.
But now.. Something withheld her from fully enjoying the moment.
She thoroughly enjoyed their concert yesterday, cried on stage too.. Which.. Wow, she didn't think she whould, but here we are. Yunjin had translated her words to english to the crowd too when the translator didn't pick up on what she said, due to her throat closing up.
Her yunjin-unnie, who also told her how proud of her she was. Told fearnot, and later kazuha again, about how similar she feels, and how she can relate to what kazuha was going through being back here again.
Kazuha had cried again that night too, and couldn't fall asleep without her unnie there. Chest slowly rising and falling underneath kazuha's cheek. Hand slowly caressing the younger girl's scalp, and sweet, reassuring words filling her ears too.
She felt so at home, literally, back where she used to live, but also comfortable, warm in her girlfriends arms.
But now she just felt annoyed. Or sad.. But also happy because le sserafim was finally shopping in this city- which she had been wanting to do forever- and the weather was great, but a deep irritation still festered beneath her skin.
A tingle she tried, but couldn't ignore. Ever since yunjin visited the 'rijks museum' this morning. Crying at the pretty and meaningfull artworks, which kazuha thought was adorable.. But she wasn't there.
Kazuha didn't go. And yes, she told yunjin this morning, when she climbed out of their shared hotel bed she didn't want to join. That kazuha'd rather work out and take a moment for herself before getting something to eat with the group- but yunjin had posted pictures.
Pictures of her little trip to the museum, and Chaewon was there too.
Their wonderful leader and friend- but the way fearnot where teasing them in the comments, as if they where some kind of couple..
Kazuha knew it wasn't true. She knew fearnot liked to speculate and make jokes, but now Kazuha just felt guilty because she didn't go with her. With yunjin.
Missed out on a cute date- missed out on kissing her infront of the sunflowers of van Gogh.. Missed out on wiping yunjin's tears away when she got emotional about the beauty of the pieces..
Kazuha's skin burned. Was it anger? Maybe a little bit. Mostly at herself. Or annoyance.. Jealousy maybe?
She huffed out when they walked across a bridge. The view was breathtaking, if you wanted to look. Kazuha really didn't feel like it.
Not when yunjin was walking infront of her.
Normally she didn't really mind, it being a bit of an excuse to stare at her back without being teased about it. Yes- back.. Okay maybe sometimes a little bit lower.
But now yunjin was chatting with Chaewon. Lips in a wide grin and tilting her head back at whatever their leader was saying..
Kazuha physically couldn't watch, and huffed out again.
"You wanted to visit that stroopwaffle place, no?" Sakura asked as she tapped on kazuha's shoulder. The older girl had been walking beside her, arm looped in kazuha's.
"I guess" Kazuha said.
Sakura turned her head to look at the younger Japanese girl, sencing her dissinterest, eventhough she had been enthusiastically sending all kind of shops and things in the group chat this morning.
Instead of digging for answers Sakura hummed.
"Eunchae is joining us tonight. I thought we could maybe go out for dinner and do something fun after?"
The girls keep walking, sounds of bike bells and footsteps filling the air.
"Zuha-ya?"
Kazuha raises her eyebrows as if she was lost in thoughts again. Lost.. Staring ahead. Directly at the back of yunjin's blonde head. "Hm?"
Sakura sighs, shaking her head in disbelief. "Kazuha please"
"What?"
Their eyes meet, and Sakura raises an eyebrow. Just by the knowing look in her eyes, Kazuha knew she was in for a lecture. She tries to break free from their intertwined arms, but Sakura thightened her hold. Keeping Kazuha in place.
Meanwhile, walking infront of the two Japanese girls, yunjin and Chaewon where walking in silence. Yunjin's gaze is fixed on the ground, watching the stones underneath her feet pass by.
She had been focusing on the sound of kazuha's footsteps behind her, ever since her and chaewon's conversation turned into a comfortable silence. Though the sound got quieter the further they walked.
She looked back. Carefully, to not seem as if she hadn't been able to stop thinking about the younger girl- and yes, Sakura and kazuha where a bit behind. Still walking though.
Yunjin's eyebrows furrowed as she looks back to her feet. Why where they so close this whole morning. Why was kazuha clinging to their oldest member like that..
A sigh escaped her lips, and she was about to turn around and tell the two girls to hurry up, but a dark spot appeared on the nose of her shoe.
She walked further, not really paying it any mind, but more spots appeared. On the street, on her shoes, her jacket too. Wet spots. Rain.
"What the-" Chaewon started, holding up her hand as if to feel if the drops of rain where actually real.
"Zuha!"
"Jesus my ears" Chaewon mutters, yunjin's loud voice breaking the quiet air around them to call out for kazuha.
"It's raining!" Yunjin shouts, as if the Japanese girls couldn't tell themselves. The girls say something back, words that couldn't quite reach them because of the distance, and people walking around them.
The thin street they stood on filled with people, the rain getting heavier, and everyone hurried to find some kind of shelter. Yunjin started to panick a bit. There wasn't some crazy tornado coming- but they where still in an unknown city, the only thing they had was eachother. (And their phones, but she just wanted to make sure her Zuzu was okay)
She went through the crowd of people, kinda forgetting all about her other members, just wanting to make sure her girlfriend was there. Yunjin saw a head of black long hair as she looked over someone's shoulder, but it wasn't zuha. An older lady, maybe around her mother's age.
Shit.. Where the hell-
"Kazuha?"
When she said the name a strong hand wrapped around her bicep, and pulled her along. Her first instinct was to resist, but once she saw the puppy eyes of the person the hand belonged to, she let herself be lead.
The rain was pouring down now, people around them using their hands or shopping bags to shield themselves from the rain. Kazuha took Yunjin into a side street though, and pushed a door open.
A bell chimed the moment they stepped inside, their feet bringing in the water of the wet ground outside.
With a sigh Kazuha closed the door behind them, leaning against it with her back, as if they had just escaped a crazy dragon fight.
Yunjin looked around as Kazuha calmed down, the light inside of the place they stood in being a stark difference from the now grim sky outside.
"A bookshop" Yunjin muttered, the shelves overly full with old looking books filling her vision. Boxes of even more books, possibly children's ones scattered on the floor as if they still needed a place to be stored. Kind of.. Romantic looking.
"Let me text Chaewon-unnie and kurra-unnie where we are. And that we're dry.. " Kazuha said, a breathy laugh escaping her lips when she finished her last sentence.
"Yeah that-"
"Oh- Hey! "
A girl cut Yunjin off, well- a woman. A woman with a stack of books in her arms, and eyes wide.
"Ik hoorde jullie niet binnenkomen" she said with a chuckle, placing the books down onto the counter, in a language Yunjin didn't understand. Well- she was probably speaking Dutch, right? They where in the Netherlands and all.
"Hi, we're sorry for barging in like this.." Kazuha said with a smile, taking the woman's appearance in. She was pretty, long, dark hair, with fake eye lashes that whould go all the way to her chin if she closed her eyes. Her face was covered in make up aswell- an unnatural look Kazuha didn't really prefer, but it still looked good on her.
"Oh, you're english? And this place is free to barge into anytime" the woman smiled back at Kazuha, pushing her hair back into a ponytail.
"My name is johanna, but you can call me hanna." She introduced herself, reaching out for kazuha's hand to shake.
The younger Japanese girl took her hand, introducing herself aswell. Though, still kinda self aware of how divelished the two probably looked, soaked because of the rain.
"I'm Yunjin." The blonde girl said with a stern look on her face, hand extended to johanna now too.
The woman of the bookshop hesitated but took her hand aswell. "Nice to meet you"
"Thank you for letting us take shelter here-" Kazuha started, but Yunjin was already dragging Kazuha along, hand around her waist.
"Yes, thank you, we'll be just fine in the back over there"
Kazuha looked between johanna and her girlfriend with a confused puppy look, but still let herself be dragged to the back of the shop. Her eyebrows furrowed though-
"What was that?" She asked her unnie, when they where out of earshot.
"Hm? I don't know what youre talking about"
"You just cut that girl off, she was being nice to us, letting us stay here!" Kazuha whisper yelled, and the two watched the woman put a book away in one of the lower shelves.
"I said thank you" Yunjin said, dissinterested. "She was being a little too nice for my liking. All smiley towords you- and didn't let go of your hand when you where shaking hers.. "
So that was what this was all about..
"Oh, well.. Thats rich. Coming from you"
"And what's that supposed to mean" Yunjin said, eyebrow raised, hands on her hips now.
"Oh, I don't know.. I mean, you looked like you had lots of fun with Chaewon this morning"
"Well- yeah I did"
Kazuha felt her skin warm up. "I didn't act like an asshole because you couldn't stay away from Chaewon-unnie, stared at her lovingly in all those pictures, had a real fun date didn't you?"
"What?" Yunjin said, genuinely lost. "You where the one practically clued to sakura's side the whole time we where out. During lunch, while we went to that vintage shop-"
"Well that's because you didn't really talk to me, and rather talked to Chaewon anyway"
Yunjin huffed. "Thats just not true"
"Fearnot seemed to think otherwise. Your Instagram post proved otherwise."
The girls turned silent, the soft hum of the background music of the shop the only sound in the air.
Kazuha sighed, sitting down on one of those stools meant to be used to grab books from high up.
"You know my feelings for you are not determined on how much I post other people" Yunjin said after a moment of silence.
Kazuha hummed, but didn't look up, and Yunjin decided to sit down on the steps. Kinda the same level as the younger girl now. She knew Yunjin was telling the truth. Her own rationsal brain said the exact same thing.
"I told you I loved for you to come with me to the museum, zu. I thought you didn't want to come"
"Yeah. well- I didn't. It was really nice to work out and recover from that hectic concert yesterday.. "
Yunjin watched Kazuha closely, her big brown eyes not leaving the younger girl's face for one second.
"I guess its stupid. I just felt annoyed because I missed out on being with you.. Us being so busy all the time.. I just wanted to go out on a date with you again. And I... Just didn't go. And now in blaming Chaewon for it-" Kazuha sighed again, as if she couldn't make sence of all the feelings inside.
"But we're on a date now" yunjin said softly, scooting a bit closer, and their shoulders brushed. Kazuha chuckled at yunjin's comment, the weight and annoyance she had been feeling lifting from her shoulders a bit.
"Bookshop date" the blonde girl added.
The two where silent again, the smell of old books and wood filling kazuha's nose.
"I'm.. Sorry for ignoring you."
Kazuha looked up from the floor she had been staring at.
"I.. Didn't do it on purpose but I guess I was also.. Kinda sad you weren't with me. Looking at the van Gogh paintings with me. Listening to his backstory through the online guide.. "
The blonde girl looked up now too, and their eyes met. "But we don't have to be together 24/7.. Just.. The time we are together I shouldn't act so jealous and ignore you because I thought you'd rather hold Sakura close.. "
Kazuha breathed out a laugh, reaching out for yunjin's hand.
"which I know isnt true.. And now this.. That woman was all over you, I just know she was checking you out."
Their hands intertwined, and yunjin rested her head on kazuha's shoulder.
"Guess we're both just.. I don't know. Stupid?" Kazuha said, softly, caressing the back of yunjin's hand with her thumb. Yunjin laughed, but didn't disagree.
"Youre staying at my hotel room again?" Kazuha asked after she looked through the window of the door. The rain still going at it outside, and Yunjin nodded, a hum escaping her lips.
"Ill only post pictures of you and us together from now on zuzu, tell the whole world in yours and only yours."
Kazuha chuckled, squeezing yunjin's hand. She knew they couldnt do that, the whole idol thing- contracts and everything to uphold.. But it was kind of a nice thought.
The blonde girl snuggled a bit closer, with a pleasant sigh. And yeah, their little bookshop date was pretty nice. Even though they didn't really do much reading, and didn't buy anything, to avoid the woman who worked there.
"Oh, wait I should probably text the ther girls where we are"