Archive of Our Own

The days in the immediate aftermath of the Fourth Shinobi War are a mess. There are missing to locate, bodies to bury or burn, injured to treat, and towns and cities to rebuild. It's a mess of blood, and grime, and achy bones, and itchy scabs.

For Shikamaru, it's also a time of endless, all consuming silence.

He can't quite recall when his world was knocked askew. Sometime after the final Zetsu attack began, but before the Infinite Tsukuyomi activated. Upon being released from the trap and the end of the war being declared, Shikamaru kept his mouth shut. You cannot be an active Shinobi if you're deaf, and in the chaos they needed all hands— especially Shikamaru's, with his dad naming him chief-strategist right before his death.

Their forces needed guidance, so Shikamaru reads lips, watches body language, and in the case of hidden mouths or injured faces, just asks for reports in writing before giving out any orders. Or he just sends the reporting ninja off to be another person's problem.

He stays as far away from any active fighting as possible, and is glad his reputation means everyone passes it off as laziness. He's a liability now in the field. Unable to hear the movement of allies and enemies alike, unable to spy for intel and unable scout for trouble. His days as a Shinobi are over. He has to make the few more hours he can scrape together count.

In the meantime, he doesn't think about it. About how the future he had only just decided to fight for is gone before he could even take the first steps. He steers his thoughts away from how he will no longer be the one standing at Naruto's side. His only comfort now is never-ending silence.

After the immediate wreckage is settled, his dad's funeral is a good cover for his request to be taken off active duty for a time. He takes care of his mom and his clan, and then when a week later Tsunade summons him to her office he thinks, 'ah, so it's finally over,' and he marches off to face the end of his career.

He's prepared to see Tsunade and Shizune, but Kakashi's presence throws him for a minor loop.

"Sorry to call you in so soon," Tsunade greets him, and he glues his eyes to her for fear of missing her words. "But I'm sure you're aware of the continued upheaval the world's combating. I need you and your skills."

Since he can't tell if she pauses because she's expecting him to say something, or if she's simply organizing her thoughts, he keeps his mouth shut. Thankfully, she does swiftly continue on her own.

"While I would like to discuss putting you in charge of the newly made Shinobi Union that our allied forces are putting together, I also want to offer you the opportunity to serve my soon to be replacement," Tsunade reveals, gesturing to Kakashi, making the man's eyes crinkle from his responding forced smile.

Kakashi's mask moves when he speaks to him, but Shikamaru's got no way of knowing what he says. He's reeling from the fact he's just been pitched the exact chance he'd been wanting, and he can't accept it.

"I'm honoured, really," Shikamaru forces his reply past his lips, hoping his vocal muscle memory is still strong enough that he has started to slur his speech. "But, I can't accept either position."

Tsunade expression drops, and she's clearly confused and surprised by his refusal. "And why the hell not?" She asks.

"Because I've been deaf since the end of the war," Shikamaru dully reports. He wonders how vacant and expressionless his words are. He certainly feels numb to them.

Tsunade looks blindsided. Maybe Shikamaru should have just bitten back his pride and informed her sooner. Even Kakashi looks visibly startled, and usually he doesn't betray any emotion besides his blasé humor if he can help it.

Tsunade drops her head into her hand, slumping over he desk and must say something to Shizune because her aide focus on the Hokage and replies. She's turned enough away that can only Shikamaru glean the words, "—related injury" and "incapable of field assignments".

Kakashi's mask moves again to offer his opinion to the discussion. Shikamaru doesn't let his brow furrow in confusion, doesn't send a look to Shizune silently begging her to repeat him, and he doesn't demand they accommodate him— no matter how badly he wants to. His frustration and grief gathers in his chest, a heavy ache closing off his throat and threatening to pool in his eyes.

It's unfair. But life's never been fair. War's never been fair and even if Shikamaru wants to throw a tantrum like a child, he is still a Shinobi and he's long since resigned himself to the risks that come with the title.

Standing in his Hokage's office as the three of them discuss his fate without even attempting to include Shikamaru in their conversation, he feels very, very small.

He's been doomed to silent isolation. Alone, even with them just a few spare feet away.

When Tsunade finally looks back at him and he catches the partial shape of, "—what about that?" leave her lips Shikamaru runs out of patience.

"Sorry," Shikamaru says, and doesn't care of his volume is modulated right anymore. Not like he can tell, so it's not his problem now. "Did you really expect me to catch any of that?"

Kakashi looks off to the side. He seems guilty and uncomfortable. Good.

"I'm in a difficult position here," Shikamaru focuses back on Tsunade only to lose track of the rest of her sentence.

She's in a difficult position? Shikamaru's life ended the moment he lost his hearing, and she's in the difficult position?

Tsunade's mouth stops moving and she looks expectantly at him. Shikamaru doesn't move a muscle. Doesn't open his mouth because if he does he's not sure if he's going to curse her out or start crying, and as frustrated as he is, truthfully, he doesn't want to do either. Tsunade grimaces, presumably at the extending silence. Shikamaru can relate, that's his whole life now.

He begs for literally anyone to throw him a lifeline here, because he's currently drowning on dry land.

"Perhaps we should adjourn to review our best options," Shizune breaks the stalemate and addresses Shikamaru, "I can draft some offers regarding modified duties along with possible job positions and send them over for your consideration."

Dismissed without even an attempt to ask for his opinions regarding his own future. Shikamaru had been hoping for more, but also isn't surprised. His usefulness to the Shinobi Corps had been dramatically reduced with a single head injury.

He nods to Shizune, bows to Tsunade and walks away without looking back to see if anyone tries to stop him. The usual bustle and flurry of activity in the shinobi offices feels surreal now without the accompanying noise. He slips through the crowded corridors like a ghost, isolated from peers.

Stepping into the bright, cheery sunshine feels like personal attack. It just makes him feel even more depressed. He's about to take a step back towards his home, but a racing speck of orange halts his movement.

Naruto's bounding towards him with a wave and his usual wide grin. Shikamaru takes in his bandaged amputation, his worn out rusty tee, and his tousled, untamed hair all in a split second.

He's been avoiding Naruto. Hadn't even visited him in the hospital after he got news of his injuries. He's been doing it so he wouldn't have to confront the fact that he's never going to hear the other boy's laugh again. That he'll never hear Naruto say his name again. Instead he just gets to watch his lips form the shape of it, like they're doing right now.

"—were you in a meeting?" Naruto asks him, stopping short of barrelling straight into Shikamaru's frame. "Does that mean you're coming back to work soon? Tsunade put me on modified duties since I lost my arm, ya know? It's been so boring, I think I'm gonna die."

"No, Naruto," Shikamaru vacantly admits, not that his voice makes it to his ears. "I don't think I'll be coming back to work anytime soon."

Naruto's face wrinkles with concern, confusion erasing his usual easy contentment. He cocks his head as his mouth asks, "Why not?"

Shikamaru decides it's time to stop denying it. Hiding his deafness from his friends just for his own delusion and comfort is only going to lead to countless problems down the road. It's time for him to face reality.

"I'm deaf, Naruto."

Shikamaru has a guess that his voice is at least a little shaky as he forces the truth past his lips. For a second Naruto stills, frozen as a statue as he swallows down his words. Then, he's bursting into life and movement, his mouth moving faster then Shikamaru can track. Shikamaru imagines his voice, the shrill edge it would have when he's this frantic, the way his words tumble from his lips like a landslide. The illusion only twists the painful knife in his chest.

There had been a time he would have given anything for Naruto to be quiet. Now, it's nothing short of torture.

And facing this immediately after the mess that meeting had been is too much for his heart to take.

"Naru," he tries to interrupt, "Naru, stop, I can't hear you."

Naruto's mouth presses into a angry line. They stare each other down for a long moment before Naruto decides to snatch him up by his wrist and start dragging him off.

"Naru, stop," Shikamaru repeats. Naruto just keeps stubbornly pulling him along.

"Stop," he orders, and he must put enough force into his words because Naruto whirls back around to face him with watery, blazing eyes.

"I'm sorry, Naru, but you can't help me. You can't fix this."

"Don't say that," Naruto demands, eyes squeezing shut in his refusal to accept Shikamaru's words.

He repeats himself by making the shinobi sign for, 'Negative'.

The shinobi sign language has a far less extensive vocabulary than the standard civilian version. The main reason being that the shinobi version is entirely utilitarian and meant to be the most efficient and effective way to silently transfer intel, but it's also because it's made to be spoken with only one hand. Useful when you only have one hand free on a mission, or even in Naruto's case, when the ninja only has one arm left to use. The sign Naruto makes is also used for refusals, denials, or to indicate an unsafe location, or untrustworthy individual. Most signs in the shinobi dialect have multiple meanings depending on their context.

Naruto's the first person to bother to sign for his sake. It says a lot about Shikamaru's past few weeks that the bare minimum makes him so immensely grateful.

Naruto repeats the sign again and shakes his head with determination burning in his eyes. Shikamaru doesn't stop him when he spins around and takes off. Shikamaru's long since given up hope, so he'll let Naruto have some on his behalf, even if it'll probably wind up hurting his friend in the long run. Naruto's never been one to give up on something.

Shikamaru walks home and wonders when exactly his new reality will break Naruto's heart.

"Mom," he greets when he walks into their main hall and finds her lighting incense in front of his dad's carefully arranged shrine. He approaches the small tableau and studies his father's picture. The black and white image is washed out, probably due to cheap film or poor development, but his dad is smiling, and the corner of Inoichi's shoulder and arm is captured at the edge of the frame.

"There's something I need to tell you. Both of you, I guess."

His mom smiles weakly and looks up at him over her shoulder. "Are you finally going to tell me you're deaf, sweetheart?"

Shikamaru probably should have noticed that his mom had figured it out, but they'd both been drowning in grief and trying to plan a funeral, so Shikamaru's not surprised they haven't had this conversation sooner.

Shikamaru sighs and kneels next to her. "Yeah, mom, what gave it away?"

She turns slightly to face him a little better and signs, 'First hypothesis upon you being unresponsive to calls when out of my sight. Later noticed the lip reading.'

'No questioning?'

'Clearly still coming to terms with it. You always report back when your properly prepared.'

Shikamaru scoffs, "I don't think anything could have prepared me for this, mom."

Her eyes get heavy with her sadness. Shikamaru hates that her grief has become such a commonplace these days.

'No,' she agrees followed by the sign for, 'undetermined.' Basically an 'I guess not' in this use.

She gathers his hands in hers, and he looks at her steady gaze. "We'll get through this," her lips promise, and Shikamaru finds himself wanting to believe her.

He blows out a long, steady breath, and feels like a small child again when he asks, "is that so?"

His mom's mouth twitches into a small smile. Her hand says, 'New mission parameters.'

Shikamaru chuckles and signs back, 'survive?'

She shakes her head, 'live.'

'A two person job," Shikamaru tells her. She repeats the phrase with her own gestures as an agreement.

He looks back at his dad's picture and starts to light his own incense sticks to put beside his mom's.

"We'll be alright," he quietly promises his dad, and with his mom's comforting presence at his side he might just start believing it too.

'Go rest,' his mom urges him a few minutes later, after their silent contemplation, 'I know your meeting was difficult.'

"Thanks, mom," Shikamaru says as he stands. She rises along with him and pulls him into a sturdy, warm hug. She waves him towards the stairs when she pulls back. Knowing better than to disobey his mother, Shikamaru leaves for his bed.

The ping of his chakra rouses him an hour later as Ino and Sakura pass the security seal pasted to his door frame. He wonders if they were polite enough to knock, even if he can't hear it anymore. Knowing them, probably not.

Ino's already got angry tears pooling in her furious eyes.

"You wouldn't hit a deaf man would you?" Shikamaru sighs as he sits up, throwing his sheet aside to face her rage.

"I would if he didn't bother to tell me he was deaf!" Ino presumably yells at him. He supposes that's a nice upside. Her shouting can't give him a headache anymore.

He just stares at her blankly, causing her to cross her arms. "Don't pretend you can't understand me, asshole."

Shikamaru looks at Sakura who's frowning beside Ino.

"I assume you here to try and fix me?"

"I can at least try," Sakura says, lifting her chin and daring him to refuse.

"You healed my head injury after the war," Shikamaru tells her, "If that didn't fix my hearing loss, I'm not sure you can now."

Sakura sets her jaw and gets a scary look in her eye. She sticks her glowing green hands in his face without acknowledging his words.

Ino's still frowning at him expectantly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Shikamaru dutifully tells her.

"Do you mean that or are you just humoring me?" She snaps back.

Shikamaru isn't stupid enough to answer her.

Sakura must make some sort of noise because Ino looks away from him to furrow her brow at the medic.

"There's seemingly nothing to heal," he just manages to catch Sakura's lips move.

"Because you've already healed my brain," Shikamaru reminds her.

"But auditory receptors are bilateral, for a brain injury to sever the nerves on both sides of your head equally so beyond repair is unbelievably—"

"Unlucky?" Shikamaru offers when it's clear Sakura's going to leave the sentence hanging.

Sakura stops her assessment and crosses her arms. She doesn't want to agree with him, and she doesn't like that she can't fix him.

He misses whatever Ino says next, but it makes Sakura look upset. Apparently Ino's decided to be angry about this instead of being sad. Considering they all have enough to be sad about without Shikamaru adding to it, maybe he should let her be angry for awhile.

"Thank you for trying," Shikamaru says to Sakura, knowing that Ino won't express her own gratitude, at least not right now.

Sakura looks to the floor and seems to ponder her shoes before looking up far more resolute. "I'll think of something," she decides with a nod before signing the gesture for departure, but also more intel at a later date, and next time.

And with that silent goodbye she turns around and marches out of his house with her head held high. He doesn't look at Ino because she's still glaring at him. He wants to ask her if she thinks he would be able to still hear her voice if she telepathically linked them, but he's pretty sure if he asked that now she'd actually hit him, if only to avoid crying. Since Shikamaru doesn't feel like taking a punch, or having Ino cry on him, he keeps his mouth shut.

He risks a glance at her when she turns her head to gaze out his window. She stares out towards town and Shikamaru swear he catches her mouth the words, "and just what are we supposed to do without you?" He doesn't have an answer for her and she knows it. She turns to follow Sakura without another look in his direction.

The next time she and Chōji go out on mission, it will be without him.

He almost considers crawling back under his covers, but there are better things to be doing than rotting away in his bed, drowning under the weight of the silence, so he gets up to go find his mom. She's always been good at finding work for him to do.

And find work for him she does. He thinks he's beaten the dust and dirt out if every rug and mat in the entire compound by the time dinner's ready.

"I think that was more work than ending the war," Shikamaru groans as he takes a seat at their table that always feels too big for just two these days.

His words make his mom laugh, so he thinks his sore, achy body might have been worth it.

He spends the night curled up next to her own the couch, reading her dramatic romance novel over her shoulder and making incredulous remarks over the wild and numerous plot twists contained just in the three chapters they read alone.

The moon's rising when his mom gives up and starts swatting at him with the paperback. He doesn't even have to read her lips to know she's shooing him to bed so that she can have some modicum of peace.

"Enjoy your horrible book, mom. I'll bet you at this rate there's going to be an evil twin reveal," he laughs as he escapes her swipes.

"I like when they're unpredictable." His mom defends her choices with a raised chin.

Considering Shikamaru hadn't been able to predict a single thing that was going on in that story, unpredictable was about the only thing that book undoubtedly was.

He sends her a lazy wave as he heads for the stairs. Not feeling like blinding himself by turning on the overhead lights, Shikamaru pauses to light the candle stud on his dresser after he pads into his room. The flickering warm glow makes the shadows jump and twist across his walls.

There's a ping against his chakra from the direction of the roof outside his window. There's a familiar tide of scorching chakra lingering on their roof tiles. When he doesn't immediately clamor through the frame Shikamaru takes the extra time to change out of his grimy clothes.

Then, he swiftly opens his bedroom window before Naruto can hesitate any longer. Naruto jerks when he does, but still readily scrambles in and perches on the sill with fidgety, twitchy fingers. He momentarily pauses to brush his fingers over the alarm seal painted on the frame as he does so.

Eventually his blue eyes settle on Shikamaru's own. "What now?" He asks, looking defeated and hopeless.

Shikamaru's heart breaks— a familiar feeling these days.

"I don't know," Shikamaru admits with a sigh.

'But you know everything,' Naruto signs.

Shikamaru probably makes a choked off noise in the back of his throat, but he can't hear it.

"Not this time, Naru."

Naruto looks absolutely devastated and it sinks into Shikamaru's heart like poison.

"I'm sorry," is the only platitude he can offer the blond. Naruto's shakes his head even as his tears spill over and slip down his cheeks.

'Not your fault,' his hand says, trembling as Naruto chokes back sobs. 'Supposed to do this together.'

"I know," Shikamaru agrees. "I'll still be here for you."

'Not the same thing.'

No, it's not. Shikamaru pads closer, unable to bear the sight of Naruto's tears anymore. He gathers the weeping boy into his arms. Shikamaru feels his sobs rattle through his chest this way. He lets a few of his own tears fall silently free. It's the first time he's bothered to allow himself to mourn his loss of hearing, and his loss of his dream. Naruto's fists are curled tight into his shirt, desperate to keep him close.

"I'm right here," Shikamaru promises. "I'm not going anywhere."

Naruto trembles a little harder in his hold. He feels the way his breaths hiccup from his sobs.

"Shh," Shikamaru soothes, pulling his head back slightly, so his lips brush his temple. "Breathe, Naru. I've got you."

After he coaxes Naruto to suck in some deep breaths, he continues in what he hopes is the right volume for a soothing whisper. "If I can't be by your side during work anymore, I can at least stay glued to your side the rest of the time."

Naruto slinks back, blinking moonlight tears off his lashes. He gazes at Shikamaru for a long moment like he's dissecting his meaning. He tilts his head in question and forms a hand sign.

The shinobi corps hasn't ever bothered to create a sign to indicate romantic relationships, instead Naruto says pair, teammate, ally, or partner.

Shikamaru's heart skips a beat. "Yeah," he agrees copying the gesture, "I mean like a partner.

More tears spill down the other's cheeks, but Naruto's brow furrows and he aggressively wipes his skin dry. When he drops his hands he looks almost frustrated.

"Maybe I wanted to have you both ways," Naruto declares with watery eyes and a frown, "I don't want to settle for only one."

Shikamaru considers him, and the future they might have had. He finds himself skimming his fingers against the hard-won calluses on his palm.

"Neither do I," Shikamaru slowly admits as he comes to the conclusion. Turns out he hadn't been quite so devoid of hope as he had thought.

Naruto nods in agreement. "Then we'll figure out a way to do both?" He asks, "So you can be my partner no matter what?"

Shikamaru's life had changed in un-quantifiable ways in an instant. He finds that he wants to dictate what direction his new life is going to travel in, even if its going to look nothing like that one he had planned for. It is not going to be the same life, but it will still be his to shape.

"Yeah," he decides, "let's find a way to make it work."

Naruto nods and eagerly tumbles back into Shikamaru's embrace. Shikamaru holds him tight, trying to pass along as much comfort through their touch as possible. Shikamaru tucks his face close to the junction of his neck and finds himself seeking out Naruto's heartbeat. Feeling jittery at not being able to hear it anymore, he shifts his hold to press one of his hands flat over Naruto's heart.

The rhythm of it echoing against his palm is a balm on his nerves. Shikamaru doesn't know how long they stand like that, entwined with each other, but eventually Naruto steps back, blinking away his heavy exhaustion.

"Come on," Shikamaru says, prodding him away from the window. "Get in my bed."

Naruto weakly smiles at his words, lips trembling. Shikamaru can practically hear the joke he would have cracked if they were in another, simpler time.

Naruto kicks off his sandals and shucks off his jacket before he slips under Shikamaru's covers and snuggles into the mattress. Shikamaru takes a moment to allow himself to feel extraordinarily pleased about having him in his bed, even though he wishes it was in very different circumstances. Then, he undoes his hair tie and climbs in after him, settling close.

"Night, Naru," Shikamaru murmurs as his eyes slip shut, "We'll figure things out in the morning."

Naruto pokes him to get his attention before he actually slips into sleep. He cracks his eyes open and squints at him. The candlelight gives just enough flickering illumination that Shikamaru can still read his lips.

"I love you."

Shikamaru gazes at his bedmate for a long moment and licks his lips.

"I love you, too," Shikamaru replies, "I'm sorry I can't hear you say it."

Naruto shakes his heat minutely.

"As long as you know it," he tells him, "that's all that matters to me."

And with that, Naruto wiggles his way into his arms, laying his head on Shikamaru's shoulder. Sleep finds them both not long after.

Saying you'll figure things out in the morning is all well and good until the sun rises and you have to face the prospect of actually solving the problem. At least that's how Shikamaru feels when the sun streaming in his window rouses him from his deep slumber. Naruto's still asleep, mostly because his face is buried in Shikamaru's chest, so he's not the one getting blinded.

Shikamaru laments that he doesn't even get to enjoy waking up with Naruto at his side because he forgot to close his blinds. Past him was an idiot.

Even so, he lazes in bed, treasuring having the blond curled up at his side, tight up until Naruto's rumbling stomach rouses him into consciousness quite some time later. Naruto blinks blearily at him, getting his bearings and squinting at the sunlight, but he ignores his hunger in favour of wrapping Shikamaru in his arms and staying tucked under the covers for a while longer. Shikamaru's not going to complain about more cuddle time, especially not with a clingy, sleep-mussed Naruto who seems determined to never part from him again.

He feels the ward at his door ping, and he shuts his eyes and smirks to himself because he doesn't have to pretend to not hear his mom anymore.

He feels Naruto's chest rumble, presumably as he greets his mother. Eventually, he pokes Shikamaru's side and he begrudgingly cracks open his eyes to look at him. He's got an amused look on his face and a gentle smile curling the corners of his mouth.

'Time to eat,' Naruto signs, 'It was an order.'

He looks over to the doorway, but finds it empty.

"I guess we couldn't hide away here all day," Shikamaru sighs.

He feels Naruto's chuckle rumble through his body. It's almost as good as the real sound.

Almost.

'She appeared unsurprised to discover me,' Naruto tells him.

"I don't think my mom's been surprised by anything I've ever done," Shikamaru admits.

'What's her secret?' Naruto asks as he sits up.

"I don't know," Shikamaru says, reluctantly following his lead, "probably her uncanny intuition after raising me for seventeen years or something."

"Mom's are scary," Naruto decides before climbing out of Shikamaru's bed.

"Isn't that the truth," he grumbles, pausing to rake his fingers through his tangled hair to see about tying it back.

He struggles with the knots for a bit before Naruto's hand settles on his shoulder, causing him to lift his gaze. He holds out Shikamaru's hair brush as an offering. Shikamaru freezes in the face of the small item, eyes flicking to the door and back. He hadn't even noticed Naruto leave to fetch it because he hadn't been able to hear Naruto move.

He nods his thanks and takes the brush to return to taming his hair, but he feels like he's been knocked askew all over again. It keeps happening. Having to face reminders of how different things are now.

With the brush his hair's back in place in seconds, and he finds Naruto pulling one of his spare tees on in place of the one he slept in when he looks up.

He absorbs the sight of Naruto in his clothes as Naruto tugs his jacket back on and he stands to approach the blond. He takes a moment before they leave his bedroom to cup Naruto's cheeks and press their foreheads together. Naruto relaxes into his warmth, his hands settling on Shikamaru's hips.

"I'm glad you're here," Shikamaru admits, but it feels like a huge understatement. He's so unimaginably grateful that Naruto's decided to stick with him and figure this out together, because the thought of navigating this new reality alone is nothing short of impossibly terrifying.

"I'm glad too," he reassures Shikamaru, but he knows that even if Naruto's glad to be with him, he's also deeply sad that it's under these circumstances.

"Let's go," Naruto smiles, trying to lighten their sombre moods, "I really don't want to anger your mom."

Shikamaru holds him in place for a moment longer so he can press a gentle kiss to his cheek before heading for the door. Naruto has a point, they really don't want to anger his mom. Naruto grabs his hand, and laces their fingers together as they descend the stairs. At least if his mom's annoyed with them, they can face it together.

Thankfully, she's not, and given the late hour, the spread she's laid out on the table is closer to a lunch time meal than a breakfast one.

Naruto and his mom are swift to strike up a conversation, and as prone as they both are to giddily chattering, Shikamaru loses the thread pretty swiftly. He appreciates they both still try to include him, slowing down and making sure he can see their mouths, but he probably doesn't have much to add to their small talk anyway so he brushes their attempts off and doesn't let it bother him. He sits with his silence and tries to enjoy his mom's cooking.

After they've all eaten their fill, neither he nor Naruto know where to begin with actually solving how exactly Shikamaru's going to keep being a part of the Shinobi Corps without any hearing, so instead Naruto listlessly follows after him as he takes his spot in front of a very worn and well used shōgi board.

"You don't have to stay," Shikamaru tells him as he hesitates, shifting restlessly on the threshold to the veranda. "I just need some time to think."

Naruto nods slowly as he considers it. He peeks back into Shikamaru's house and seems to come to a decision.

'I'll be back,' Naruto tells him before padding back inside.

Shikamaru spares a moment to wonder what he's doing as he lays out the pieces, but once the board is set, he lights a cigarette and clears all his swirling thoughts out of his head. The cigarette gets set in the ashtray next to the board and left there to smolder as he makes his first moves.

Time slips away as he plays both sides of the game, making all the counter moves he knows Asuma would have made. It's a familiar dance of stones, the endless variations from all the games they ever played together flick through his memory, testing his recall and strategy.

Turns out, playing shōgi in total quiet is good for his focus. He's staring unmoving at the game board when Naruto pads back out to join him. The movement pulls Shikamaru out of his fixation and makes him realize he's stiff from being still for so long. He doesn't even know how long it's been, but the longer shadows tell him probably over an hour.

Naruto's carrying a tea tray, likely sent along by his mom, and he sets it at his side before taking a seat.

"I helped make it," Naruto informs him as Shikamaru picks up one of the ceramic cups.

Shikamaru raises a brow. So, Naruto's been here the whole time, likely discussing who knows what with his mom. He sips his tea and doesn't let his curiosity make him blurt out a question. If Naruto wanted him to know, he wouldn't hesitate to tell him. Instead Shikamaru goes back to gazing at his king, and the gold general that's pinned in place.

Naruto touches his arm to get his focus back and his hands move in question, "Figure out a solution?"

Shikamaru's eyes flick back to the pair of stones. He then gazes a long moment at his second gold general and calculates the chances of being successful if he manages to move the piece properly into play.

You're always more powerful when you manage to keep both gold generals alive, but you need to manoeuver them properly to keep the advantage secure.

"Maybe," Shikamaru murmurs lifting his tea cup for another long sip.

"Any way I can help?"

Shikamaru sends him a little smile, "Just keep being here."

Naruto stares at him momentarily before nodding with a grin. "For the long haul. No retreat."

"Ever played shōgi?" He asks, chest warm with Naruto's promise, and he laughs at Naruto's look of distaste.

A few more hours slip by as Shikamaru fails to get much further in his game while Naruto serves as a pleasant distraction. He chatters away happily at Shikamaru's side, and even if he sometimes forgets Shikamaru can't hear him, he always remembers to sign the things he actually wants Shikamaru's opinions on.

Eventually they drift away from the shōgi board, and he and Naruto are sitting on the edge of the veranda, with their feet stretched out into the grass, when Akamaru comes tearing around the corner of his house. Kiba's hot on his heels, yelling something at the excited nikken, but Shikamaru doesn't have any idea what he's saying beyond that he seems to be scolding the racing dog. Akamaru is swift to bound onto the deck and hides his big body behind the two of them as if he's still a small enough puppy to get away with that. Kiba lunges to a halt before he can topple straight into them.

Shikamaru still can't read his ranting lips, but he's pretty sure he's now cursing at his nikken partner. Akamaru noses at Shikamaru's fingers. He glances over his shoulder to eye the panting dog and relents to petting him. Kiba throws up his hands.

Chōji and Shino wander into his backyard at a much more sedate pace. Chōji gives him a wave and a smile, and is swift to take the available spot on Shikamaru's other side. Shikamaru leans into his friends warm, sturdy shoulder.

"So you're deaf, now?" Kiba asks, crossing his arms with a frown as Shino stops at his teammates side.

"Yup," Shikamaru agrees, popping the last letter.

"That's—" Kiba pauses, considering his choice of words with an irate wrinkle in his nose, "—bullshit," he decides.

"Yup," Shikamaru repeats.

'You seem to have accepted it,' Shino comments.

"It's been a few weeks now," Shikamaru shrugs, "I had my time to deny it and wallow. It's not like I can change it, so I may as well start moving forward."

"Shino, you'll have to start teaching him proper sign," Kiba offhandedly muses.

"You know civilian standard signs?" Shikamaru asks, honing in on Shino with new eyes.

Shino nods, 'Some of my clan prefer not to talk.'

Shikamaru hadn't known that. "Would you really be willing to teach me?"

Shino nods again, 'I'd be honored to, my friend.'

At his side he feels Naruto's chest rumble as he speaks, but Shikamaru doesn't have to scramble to try and catch his lips move because he signs his words as well.

'Teach me too?'

He catches Chōji nod in agreement, looking to Shino hopefully.

"Me and Hinata know some of it already, we've had a few lessons," Kiba admits, looking to Shikamaru. "We're not as good as him, but I can help you practise it at least."

"You're better than you think," Shino replies to Kiba's words. "I'd be happy to teach everyone."

Shikamaru's gratitude balloons in his chest. He has to swallow past his sudden choking admiration for his friends.

Shino readily starts writing out kanji in the dirt next to the veranda and shows them the corresponding hand movements. If Shikamaru had to make a guess, he'd say the other man enjoys sharing the language with them, especially when it's clear Shino's more than fluent in it. It's nice to feel a little closer to the Aburame.

A few hours later, Naruto slumps sideways to sprawl out on the deck and starts complaining about how he's never going to remember all the gestures. Shikamaru thinks he's also frustrated by only having one hand, and needing to try and adjust some motions on the fly.

'It's just a matter of practise,' Shino promises.

'Or a matter of spelling,' Kiba says, looking amused by Naruto's dramatic complaining. 'Just learn the alphabet and spell everything if you don't want to learn all the motions.'

Shikamaru knows Naruto grumbles something into the wood of the porch because of the way his chest rises and falls, but whatever he says is lost on him. Chōji pokes him to get his attention and translates his complaint.

'He says he doesn't want to spell either.' His friend looks sympathetic before continuing, 'I think he's still struggling to accept that you can't hear.'

Kiba jumps in with his own signs, 'I think he's taking it harder than you have, and you're the deaf one.'

Shikamaru's always been adaptable. He finds that Naruto has harder time adjusting on the fly like that. Still, all things considered, he's only had barely one full day since he learned the news, so Shikamaru thinks he's coping pretty well all things considered.

Naruto pushes himself up out of his wallowing and narrows his eyes at them. 'You were signing about me, weren't you.'

"No, we were deciding what to eat for dinner," Shikamaru blatantly lies.

Naruto must not actually care that much about their conversation, because he brightens thinking about food. He promptly makes the first motion he forced Shino to show them. 'Ramen?'

Shikamaru looks to the rest of his friends. Shino and Kiba shrug and Chōji's always down for any food offered to him, so Shikamaru sighs and replies, "Ramen it is, I guess."

Naruto happily leads their group all the way to Ichiraku's and they pester Shino about different signs for food so much he has to call a halt to his teaching so he can actually use his hands to eat.

Kiba teaches Naruto the alphabet while Shino's actually enjoying his dinner. Shikamaru finds himself admiring the intense focus on Naruto's face as he copies Kiba's motions between mouthfuls of noodles. His heart skips a beat as he realizes just how serious this is to Naruto. He clearly wants to do this for Shikamaru's sake.

Shino must see something in his face because he momentarily puts his chopsticks down again to make another sign. His lips form the word love, but given that neither Kiba or Naruto lift their heads to look at him, Shikamaru figures he only mouths the word for his benefit.

Shikamaru shoots Shino a flat glare, but the Aburame's eyes crinkle behind his glasses and he returns to slurping down his bowl of ramen. Chōji pats his back in solidarity, having seen the exchange over Shikamaru's shoulder. He leans a little harder into his best friends shoulder, grateful for his comfort now more than ever.

Eventually they all finish their meals, and it's time for them to part ways. Shikamaru is sure to thank Shino before the other man disappears.

"I'll catch up with you later," Shikamaru tells Naruto when the boy wavers. "I've got to make a stop."

Naruto seems to understand and quickly squeezes his hand before they separate. 'Good luck. See you soon," he signs as he turns away.

He catches Chōji shooting him another wave from down the street while he's standing at his turn and it make Shikamaru huff a laugh at his friend. He waves back, trying to silently tell Chōji not to worry about him and to get a move on as he does so.

He sets off down the evening street, all the activity on the roads bouncing off his bubble of quiet. He's ten minutes into his walk when he jolts, feeling a gentle touch brush his shoulder blade. He glances over his shoulder to find Hinata, wide-eyed and a little breathless, standing behind him.

"Sorry, Hinata, I didn't realize you were chasing me down," Shikamaru greets her, stepping to the side of the thoroughfare so they're not blocking the road.

She shakes her head to assure him that it wasn't an issue and lifts a hand to sign.

'I have a gift for you.'

She doesn't actually say gift, but given he doesn't think she has provisions for him at this exact moment, he mentally translates it as he eyes her extended hand. He holds out one of his own in turn and she drops a transparent crystal into his hand.

"This is a chakra crystal isn't it?" He asks inspecting the fragment. He's never seen one in person himself. With modern advancements, crystal resonance tech is pretty redundant these days.

Hinata's excited nodding draws his eyes away from his gift.

'For coded communication,' Hinata gestures with a grin. She seems really excited to explain her present to him.

'Long distance morse transmitters function with a pair of chakra crystals.'

She reveals another crystal in her hand, the pair to his own.

"Your telling me this is a linked crystal?" Shikamaru blurts. Chakra crystals are already rare, but finding two fragments from the same vein intact, and that share the same resonance is nearly impossible. "Hinata, I can't accept this. Where did you even get it?"

Hinata shakes her head and waves a hand through the air like she's batting away his complaint.

'Not important. You need it. Watch.'

She infuses some of her chakra into her crystal until both shards glow pale blue from her energy. Then she taps her finger on the surface of her fragment and he feels the echo of the touch rumble through his. She taps a series of short and long touches.

L-I-K-E T-H-I-S she says through the crystal.

Shikamaru stares at the crystal in his hand for a long moment. His heart is in knots at her thoughtful kindness. He taps on his crystal and Hinata clenches her piece tighter as to not miss the echo.

T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U he silently tells her, not wanting to risk speaking past his choked up throat that's laden with so much emotion.

Her smile lights up her face. She takes his hand and puts the second stone in his palm right next to it's partner. Their glows fade once they're out of her touch and the crystals can't be powered by her chakra flow anymore. He shouldn't accept such a rare gift, but he can't bring himself to give them back. For so long the silence has felt unbearable, but the hope the crystals provide in regards to long distance speech, or even for communication without the need for visual contact is a soothing balm on the ache. He distracts himself by focusing back on Hinata smile. He's actually grateful for the chance to talk to her.

"About Naruto, I know you want to stand by him too," Shikamaru says, gently fiddling with the lifelines she's given him. "Would you still feel that way if me and him were together?"

A lot of emotions flit across her face. First there's surprise, and then disappointment. Followed by a clear excitement on their behalf that's tempered by sorrow for her own feelings, before her eyes settle on resolve and conviction. As usual, her face hides nothing, and Shikamaru's always admired that about her. That she could wear her heart on her sleeve so proudly and openly.

'Yes. I will stand ground and provide support,' she tells him. 'no matter the circumstances.'

Shikamaru finds the corners of his mouth lifting at her dedication. She tentatively offers her own shy smile back.

"With my hearing, if I were to serve him now, I couldn't do it alone," Shikamaru explains and watches her eyes widen in understanding. She straightens up and boldly reaches out to cup his hands in hers.

"Then let's do it together," Hinata grins, eyes crinkling from her joy.

Hinata's steadfastness would serve them both well. Especially when Shikamaru's been finding himself wavering more than ever without his hearing to rely on. He thinks he'll do well to trust in her ears if he can't trust his own.

"I'll do my best to make it happen," Shikamaru promises.

"I know you will."

"Then wish me luck, I suppose," he huffs, turning back in the direction he had been heading before her sudden arrival.

'Good luck,' Hinata signs and lets him continue on his way with an exuberant wave. He marches off towards his initial stop, warmed by the setting sun and her thoughtfulness. Hinata's kindness— hell, all of his friends unwavering support (except for Ino's, but he knows she'll come around)— propels him forward, towards the chance of a future.

Iruka looks surprised to find him on his doorstep, but he hides it well. 'Unexpected occurrence,' he signs in greeting.

"I'm mostly here to talk to Kakashi actually," Shikamaru admits, "but you're welcome to offer your opinion too."

Iruka raises a curious brow, but he doesn't ask how he had known Kakashi would be here. Iruka has taught him long enough to know Shikamaru's too observant for his own good.

"Well then, you may as well come in."

Iruka leads him into a warmly lit dining room, where Kakashi's slumped across a coffee-stained table in a beat up chair. The white-haired man stares him down for a long, considering moment before he does something that momentarily makes Shikamaru stop breathing.

He pulls down his mask and let's Shikamaru read the words, "Well, this is a surprise." It's an unintentional echo of Iruka's own greeting.

The motion leaves Shikamaru scrambling to find a reply as if this isn't an earth-shatteringly, monumental act of trust being displayed for him. He thinks his palms start sweating from the shock.

It's also a good sign, because it means Shikamaru's important enough to Kakashi for him to let Shikamaru close enough for such an act, which bodes well for what Shikamaru's about to pitch.

"If it's not too late, I would like to take you up on the offer to serve as your tactical and diplomatic aide," he proposes, eyes flickering towards Iruka as he continues, "provided you can find someone willing to handle your active-duty field requirements."

For a moment Kakashi's face doesn't betray a thing, but when his mouth finally moves there's a smile hiding in his lips.

"I think we can make that work," Kakashi agrees.

Shikamaru blows out the air in his lungs with relief. There was always a chance Kakashi would have considered Shikamaru's deafness as too much a liability for a position so important, but he's glad the other man is willing to take a chance on him.

His sudden and overwhelming hope makes him miss whatever dry remark Iruka says to Kakashi.

Kakashi's reply of, "Would serving under me really be so horrible?" is softened by the playful pout on his lips.

Iruka's fighting back a fond smile when he looks at Shikamaru.

"Are we sure he's fit to be Hokage?" Iruka jokes to him.

It makes Shikamaru blow out a breath of laughter. "Shouldn't you be the one assuring him of that exact thing? Otherwise he might make a break for it before Tsunade can retire."

Iruka blinks at him and turns an assessing look back at Kakashi. He seems to study the flighty man and the casual illusion of his slump with a new understanding.

"I can't do it without you," Kakashi tells Iruka, his smile becoming paper thin as he tries to keep it in place.

Iruka's shoulders fall as he relents. "Then I guess I'm at your service."

Kakashi sighs with relief much like Shikamaru just had.

"Gee, I'm not being filled with much confidence here, Lord Hokage," Shikamaru drawls.

Kakashi narrows his eyes in a warning, "call me that again and I'll take back my offer."

Shikamaru raises his hands in surrender. "Understood."

"Well," Iruka says, "do you think the three of us can run half a country?"

They all share glances. Shikamaru shrugs, "can't be as hard as suddenly losing my hearing."

Kakashi considers him and actually straightens up in his seat. "You know, somehow that did actually make me feel better," he admits.

"Glad my deafness could help someone at least," he huffs in amusement.

"I'm proud of you," Iruka tells him, a soft look in his warm eyes.

Shikamaru's doesn't know what to do with the sentiment. It feels undeserved. He crosses his arms and shrugs.

"I'm not sure why you would be."

"Because you're moving forward. That's all we could ask for."

Shikamaru blows out a long breath and studies the two men smiling at him with quiet pride. "Come on, it's not like Naruto was gonna let me wallow," Shikamaru tries to deflect.

"Then it seems I owe him a serious thank you," Kakashi chuckles.

"Yeah," Shikamaru agrees, "maybe you do."

Shikamaru never would have committed to becoming the Hokage's aide without Naruto determinedly forging his own path forward. He certainly wouldn't be trying so hard to recover after he becoming deaf if not for the fact he still desperately wants to be at his side.

Deaf or not, he'll serve Kakashi so he can be the best damn aide he can be for when Naruto inevitably takes his place.

Shikamaru wishes the pair well before swiftly departing Iruka's home. He's sure there are still lots of kinks to work out when it comes to how Shikamaru can be of most use, but right now all he wants to do is celebrate the fact that he even has the chance to try. This time it's Shikamaru climbing in Naruto's window.

Naruto's bed is pushed up against the wall directly beneath his window sill, so Shikamaru gladly tumbles into the soft nest of blankets after he dodges all of his friend's potted plants. He must not be all that quiet about it because Naruto bursts out of the bathroom with his toothbrush still in his mouth. Shikamaru can't tell what he says because of the toothpaste foam around his lips.

"Go rinse your mouth, stupid," Shikamaru can't help but chuckle at him. "It's just me."

Naruto's defensive expression melts into delight and he bounds back into the small washroom to clean off his face. He's back in seconds, his frayed sleep shirt sagging enough it puts his collarbones on full display.

'Good news?' Naruto asks, mouthing the words with an exuberant smile as he pads towards his bed. It's a shame Shikamaru has to look away from his chest to read the words.

"What gave it away?" Shikamaru laughs, enjoying Naruto's mirth as his fingers caress the crystals in his pocket.

'You're smiling properly again,' he tells Shikamaru before poking his fingers into the corners of his grin to prove his point.

"Okay, okay," Shikamaru says, dodging his intruding hands. "Do you want the good news or not?"

"Yes!" Naruto laughs, dropping his attacking fingers.

Shikamaru stands up from the bed, and Naruto's stopped close enough that their chests brush when he rises. With his infectious grin and shining eyes, Shikamaru can't help but kiss him. Naruto's hands are immediately grabbing onto his shirt as he eagerly returns the favor.

Shikamaru should probably tell him the news, but trading kisses with him is too good to pass up.

"This is great and all," Naruto says between kisses, "but did you have actual news or were you just pretending so you could make out with me?"

Shikamaru can't help his laughter.

"I have actual news," Shikamaru promises, carefully watching Naruto's face before continuing. "Kakashi agreed to take me on as his aide."

His blue eyes widen, first with surprise, and then sudden delight.

"Seriously?!"

"Yes, Naru," Shikamaru chuckles and explains, "Iruka will be his other in-field agent. You'll need another aide too, one who can, you know, hear— and be out on missions with you— but I can still be your aide."

Naruto looks dumb stuck for a moment before he blinks the awe away to eagerly lock their lips together again.

Shikamaru breaks away from him when he feels Naruto's breath hiccup. He's crying again, but this time it's clearly from relief.

"I love you," Naruto says again, with shiny eyes and blotchy cheeks. Even like this, Shikamaru finds him impossibly attractive.

Shikamaru copies Shino's earlier gesture, pointing at himself before circling one hand as if he's stroking the back of his other before pointing at Naruto. He says the words out loud too so Naruto understands. "I love you."

Naruto blinks at the movement with watery eyes and the fingers on his hand jump like he wants to copy the motion before he remembers he can't with only one hand. Instead Naruto tackles him into a hug, crushing their bodies together. Shikamaru doesn't complain about his strong grip, not when there's nowhere else he'd rather be than in Naruto's arms.

His world might be totally silent now, but it's also never been more full of light.

And for that, Shikamaru's never been more grateful.