Work Text:
All things are relative, even happiness.
Before Flashpoint he was happy. Relatively. Before Flashpoint, he didn’t leave home.. He didn’t have to. Emma was there. Emma needed him, but, perhaps more than anything, Julian needed her. Emma was the buffer between himself and his parents; between himself and the responsibilities of being an heir. Emma allowed him to be himself.
It was...okay. As time went on there were fewer excursions out to the gardens. There was less and less time that Julian had to himself, less and less time for his research. Every party, every event, every fundraiser was another brick in the wall trapping him.
But...It was okay. Emma tied his tie - he never did get the hang of a Windsor knot - smoothed out his shirt and murmured an encouragement, helping him along.
It wasn’t ideal, but he was happy.
Relatively.
After Flashpoint, because of Flashpoint, she died.
There wasn’t anything keeping Julian there, in England. So, he left. He was free. Freedom brought him back his studies and his research...and he felt the thin, bland sort of happiness that could only exist in the face of tragedy.
America brought its own set of challenges.
Mind control brought another.
He didn’t know, of course. But every blackout weighed on his mind, like a brick. Trapping him.
But...It became okay.
Now, it was a different smile murmuring words of encouragement and, now, it was an entirely different reaction to hearing them. The parties, events and fundraisers were few and far between. The former were mostly small events, with the invitees hailing from Team Flash alone. The latter were for the CCPD. These were just as obligatory, if a bit more palatable..
Julian was the one tying the tie this time, both for himself and for Barry Allen. There was a different meaning in those hands whenever they brushed against him, either to steady him or as a silent, ‘I’m here. You’re okay. I love you.’
He wasn’t alone this time either. Or rather, he couldn’t be, not with so persistent a partner in his life. Barry was there, always there, looking out for him, protecting him - even when he doesn’t need to - and loving him, even when Julian felt that he didn’t deserve it.
It wasn’t perfect. Nothing ever is.
But he was happy.
Actually.