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The thing is, Harry and Zayn used to be best friends.
They met when they were in third grade. They were seated next to each other for the month, and that was fine. They talked, and they got along, but it was never anything more than that.
Harry was best friends with a boy named Will. They fought a lot, and suddenly when they were in fourth grade in a new school, Will stopped talking to him, ignored him and excluded him.
The worst part was, he was now spending all his time with Zayn. And Harry couldn't even blame Zayn for stealing his best friend, because he didn't. Will left him, and he knew it was coming, because Will was selfish. He would roll his eyes at Harry, and when Harry would do the same to him, he would go tell his mom and Harry would be told that if he wasn't going to be nice, he could leave. Will demanded Harry pull him around in the slay constantly in winter, bossed Harry around like he was his own personal servant.
And one day, Harry goes down the street to see if Will wants to go to the park, and he's met with Will's dad outside telling him "Will isn't allowed to play with you for a while."
Because, apparently, Harry's the bad guy.
So yeah, he saw it coming, because it'd happened before, twice, but every time they had waited two days and then Will would knock at Harrys door, saying "Come on, we're going to the park. You're going to push me on the swings," and things would be back to normal.
This time though, on the first day of school Harry stands around awkwardly, until finally Liam Payne comes to talk to him. They become close fast, and are still friends till this day.
And Harry watches as Will treats Zayn the same way he treated him. He hates it, really, because it isn't fair. He doesn't know Zayn that well, but Harry's a caring kid, always has been, and he doesn't think it's right for Will to be treating him that way.
So it doesn't surprise him as much as it should when Zayn messages him on MSN a month into fifth grade, saying Will doesn't want to be friends anymore, and he doesn't know what to do, because he sucked up so much of his time and demanded so much attention that he hadn't made any new friends, and his old ones had moved on from him.
It's exactly the same as what happened to Harry, so they spend an hour talking about how mean Will is, and then at school the next day, Harry and Liam invite Zayn to sit around with them outside the classroom door on the ramp for kids in wheel chairs that never gets used.
They sit and talk and watch Will and his newest friend play, and then they just don't stop hanging out.
- x -
Sixth grade, Liam, Zayn and himself are still close as a group, but Liam hangs out with Louis more and Harry hangs out with Zayn more.
They go to Zayns every day after school and watch cartoons, and Zayn comes to Harrys dads for a sleepover every Saturday so his dad won't be mean to him.
Harry and Louis get close, too. And one day, on the phone, Louis says something about his friend being Bisexual.
"What's that mean?" Harry asks.
"She likes boys and girls," is Louis answer.
And Harry doesn't even have to think about it before replying with "Oh, me too." Because yeah, that would explain why he thinks that Liam is cute and Zayn is pretty and Louis' eyes are arguably the best he's ever seen.
So he's Bisexual, and when he tells Liam that, he doesn't even care. Just shrugs and says "Okay," like he's a grown up, not twelve years old and extremely understanding. Zayn smiles, says "As long as you don't hump me at our sleepovers, that's fine," and that's that.
For a while, they're still close, and when Harry gets a crush on Ben, and Ben likes him too, his friends are supportive. But then, Zayn starts hanging out with Danny and Ant, brothers in the other sixth grade class, and they drift apart.
They still talk as they get older, but eventually they only do that on Facebook or texting once in a while. And, really, it's fine. Harry's fine, he has Liam and they hang out with Louis all the time.
And Harry watches as Zayn gets older, and hotter. And yeah, there's feelings there, because they've always been there. But no matter how hard he tries Zayn doesn't pay attention to him, not that he would anyway, because he dates Perrie for two years, until they break up in ninth grade.
It's easy for Harry to get on with his life, too, though. He and Liam try dating, but it just doesn't work. They settle for being friends who are overly affectionate, cuddling and holding hands, maybe the occasional make out session once in a while, if their feeling especially lonely or bored. But it's never more than that, and it works.
He forgets about Zayn when he isn't around, which is all the time, because they have different social crowds that are rarely near each other. But sometimes they'll talk on Facebook or Harry will text Zayn because he's bored and Liam and Louis started going out which is lovely, but it leaves him home alone on their date nights, and then Zayn will be all he thinks about for two days before he can get on with it.
He dates Nick Grimshaw in tenth grade. He's older, like, way older than people think is acceptable, but nobody really says anything. His mom is fine with it as long as they respect her rules, Harry doesn't miss school or drop his grades and they stay out of trouble.
And it's absolutely wonderful. They go out to eat nearly every day after school and sometimes Nick will come visit him during the lunch break and they'll walk around the hallways holding hands. They spend every weekend together, holed up in Harrys bed watching stupid movies like Blades Of Glory, Without A Paddle or Jackass.
- x -
He's at home, watching a movie that Nick picked but he's not paying attention to when he gets a text from Zayn.
Hey, can we meet up somewhere? I need to talk to you.
And Harrys happy to agree. Zayn will always be one of his best friends, whether they talk a lot or not, hangout a lot or not. He leaves Nick with a kiss on the cheek and a "I'll be back soon, babe. If you're hungry mom got that white cheddar popcorn you like."
He meets Zayn at their old Elementary school, the one they became friends at, because its two blocks away from each of their houses, since Zayns lived close his whole life and Harrys just recently moved to the area.
Zayns on the swings when he gets there, not moving but smoking a cigarette. Harry slips onto the blue one next to him wordlessly, smiling over at him.
"Hey," Zayn says, and grins. "How are you? We haven't talked in a while."
In a month, actually. But who's counting? Not Harry.
"I'm good, thanks, you?" Harry says. He pushes off with his feet, swinging gently.
"Good. How's Nick then?" Zayn asks, smiling wide.
"He's really good," Harry laughs, giddy. "We were just watching a movie, but I wasn't really paying attention."
"You never do," Zayn points out, laughing.
"Hey!" Harry whines, "I pay attention if it's good."
"Yeah, yeah," Zayn says dismissively, waving his smoke around. "Have you guys had sex yet?"
"Erm, yeah," Harry admits, a blush tinting his cheeks.
"Is it good, then?" Zayn prods. "It isn't like - awkward, or anything?"
"No," Harry laughs, "it's really good. Personally, I like it better than I do with girls, but - it's whatever."
Harry doesn't think anything of Zayns curiosity. Most of their conversations are about sex or relationships. You could say they're like girls, gushing about things to each other that they don't tell even their closer friends.
"You've been together for a while right?" Zayn asks. "Like, what? Two months now? You've never been with someone that long."
"Yeah, two months," Harry confirms. "He just - he makes me laugh all the time. And he says really sweet things and calls me pet names, holds my hand in public, takes me on dates all the time. It's really good. I love him, I think."
"That's really good, Haz." Zayn smiles at him, and Harry blushes. "You deserve to be happy, you know? Like - you're so nice to every one and it's not even because you want to like, be popular or something, you just care. And you're so mature and understanding for a fifteen year old."
"I'm sixteen," Harry sniffs.
"Not for another week, you idiot," Zayn laughs.
Harry smiles, and they talk a bit more. Eventually, Zayns face lights up, and he pulls a baggie out of the pocket of his leather jacket.
"Here," he says, handing it over. "I remember how much you loved these."
Harry smiles, holding up the bag to see cookies inside. Zayns moms famous chocolate chip cookies, to be exact. He grins up at Zayn, getting off his swing to hug him tightly. Instead of going back to his own seat, he plops himself down on Zayns lap.
It's a bit of a tight fit, since their both growing boys, but he doesn't mind much. Zayn must not either, because he just laughs and shifts around until he's comfortable and Harrys side is against his front so they can see each other.
"The basketball douches are gonna come and when they see us they're going to tell Nick you're cheating on him," Zayn jokes.
"Oh well," Harry shrugs. "Maybe then he'll get a little rougher with me tonight, then." He smirks when Zayn laughs and shoves at him, but doesn't knock him off.
"I'm sorry I don't talk to you much, or like, pay enough attention to you," Zayn says.
"It's fine. We grew up, it happens. We're still friends, you care about me and I care about you. I don't need you to constantly talk to me or hangout with me to remember that."
"Yeah," Zayn says softly. It's quiet for a while, then, until he clears his throat and speaks up. "I think I like a guy."
"Really?" Harry asks, slightly shocked.
"Yeah, like, we flirt you know? But like - it's a joke. Or, it's supposed to be. And when we were play fighting I swear we almost kissed like some fucking romcom. I like him, and I know he likes guys, I just don't know if he likes me," Zayn says, kicking at the small rocks under them.
"All you can really do is talk about it, Zayn," Harry says. "He's your friend, right? If he likes you, then great. If not, ask him not to tell anyone unless you like, don't care if people know you might like guys, and if he's your friend he'll be cool about it, and if he's not then he was never really worth it anyway."
"Yeah, thanks, Haz," Zayn says, a small smile on his lips.
"So who is it?" Harry asks. Zayn looks up pointedly at him, and he puts on his most innocent smile, batting his eyelashes for extra effect.
"I'll tell you if anything happens, okay?" Zayn says, trying to sound annoyed and not fond.
"Alright, deal," Harry agrees. "I'm sorry to like, run off or whatever, but if that's all I should probably get back to Nick now."
Zayn smiles, nodding and telling him it's cool, so they part ways with a hug and a promise to talk more.
Harry runs home, and when he gets to his bedroom upstairs Nick is fast asleep. He jumps on him and mouths at his throat until he flips them over and kisses him.
- x -
The very next day he gets a text from Zayn. He smiles when he opens it, sitting up while trying not to wake Nick up.
I'm dating Niall Horan:) You're the first person I've told.
Harry smiles, running his hand through his hair. He's never talked to Niall before, but he knows who he is. He's blonde and gorgeous, a year younger than them. He sings and plays guitar every Friday at lunch when the students are free to perform what they like, as long as it's actually serious and not some sort of joke, like the time Ricky and Ian decided it'd be a good idea to get up and sing Old McDonald. Very terribly.
That's great! Tell him I said hi xx Harry replies.
Zayn responds with an I will, thanks! and Harry doesn't bother to respond. He flops back down onto bed, burrowing under the covers and Nicks arm and passes back out.
- x -
At school he sees them around, and they're terribly cute. They're always lost in their own world, it seems like. Niall sings a song Harry's never heard of before that week, and he can tell it's for Zayn, because they both beam the entire time, and when Niall takes his seat at the table next to Zayn after, he's pulled into a kiss that lasts a little longer than what is 'appropriate' for school.
Of course, that's the week that Nick doesn't show up at his house and doesn't answer any of his calls or texts. Harry mopes around the house all week, and maybe he cries, just a little, but he won't admit it.
Then, finally, on Sunday when he's in the car with his mom on the way to get McDonalds, Nick texts him. He smiles, a little reluctantly, and opens the message.
I don't think we should see each other anymore. I'm sorry but you're really young, and it's getting more serious than I think I'm ready for.
Harry doesn't cry, but yeah, he's sad. His mom buys him extra nuggets for that, which he's grateful for, but it doesn't help much.
And, then it's their supposed-to-be three month anniversary four days later. Louis and Liam come over and stay all night even though they have school.
That helps much more than he thought it would. But eventually he's over it. Which, he feels bad about because they were supposed to be in love, he should be more upset about it, and it should take him more than a few days to be okay.
But like Nick said, he's young, so he feels like a bit of an idiot when he realizes they were never even close to love.
- x -
The year goes on, and Harrys life stays the same, pretty much. There's less Nick and more Liam and Louis though, which is really good. He loves them to death.
He's scrolling through Facebook on the last day of school when he see's that Zayns changed his relationship status to single.
He texts him with What happened? xx and gets what does it look like? we broke up as a reply. He frowns, feeling a little hurt, but he understands that Zayns probably very upset right now, so he just replies with Well I'm here if you need someone to talk to or something x and leaves it at that.
He wakes up to a text from Zayn the next day saying i'm really sorry about yesterday. i was just upset, i shouldn't have talked to you like that though. thanks for checking up on me xx.
Harry smiles, something in his stomach warming, and oh no, that can't be happening right now. He sends a quick No worries, like I said I'm here if you need me and goes to shower.
When he comes back there's a text asking if he wants to hangout and watch movies, and he agrees. He prides himself on being a good friend, so it's really no big deal.
Zayn doesn't seem as upset as Harry was expecting. He talks a little about how he misses Niall and tells him cute things Nialls said to him or done for him, but he says that he understands why Niall broke up with him, that a high school relationship wasn't worth all the drama it caused in their family. Apparently Nialls parents were okay with him being gay, they just didn't approve of Zayn.
He offers as much help as he can, and he and Zayn start hanging out even more, and text when they're not together. And eventually, they're right back where they used to be. Best friends who you can't separate for more than twelve hours.
Louis and Liam hang out with them too, and then eventually even Niall does. He and Zayn have stayed friends, and sometimes Harry gets jealous when he sees them whispering or laughing together, but he doesn't say anything.
Eventually school starts again, and they're finally in eleventh grade. It's exciting, acting like as big of idiots as they can before they have to grow up and start applying to schools and working hard next year.
They go to a back to school party Friday after the first week. Niall drifts off somewhere as soon as they get there, and Louis and Liam soon get caught up in themselves and go find a room to make out (and probably more, but Harry tries not to think about it.)
"You," Zayn says, then stops, blinking owlishly. He's a little wasted, Harry can tell. "You like - you got really hot, huh?"
"Um," Harry replies smartly. He blushes, barely able to help the smile that spreads across his face. "Thanks, Z."
"How didn't I notice until now though?" Zayn says. "Like - fuck, you've got muscles and tattoos and shit. And your jeans, man."
Harry frowns, watching him take another sip of his drink. "Yeah, thanks, Zayn," he says shortly.
Zayn barrels on though, about his lips and his eyes and it should be good, but it just makes Harrys heart sink. Zayn doesn't actually want him, he's just lonely. Harrys not at all his type. Niall and Perrie are both blonde, blue eyed and outgoing, incredibly popular in their years. Harry is the opposite of them, with his green eyes and his skin is finally bronzed from the summer sun. He's long and lanky and awkward, not at all elegant like Perrie or Niall. Sure, he can have fun, but he's quiet and while he's not a complete loser, he doesn't hang out with the cool crowd.
He sighs, putting his cup on the counter. "I think I'm gonna go home," Harry says, interrupting whatever Zayn was saying about his hair. "Or do you need me to make sure you get home alright?"
"No, that's fine," Zayn says, a hint of hurt in his voice. Harry knows it's just because he's drunk and vulnerable, though.
"Right," he says, "I'll see you, then."
He hugs Zayn goodbye and waves to Niall on his way out. Once he gets home he texts Lou telling him that he wasn't feeling well and went home early. After he shucks off his clothes he gets into bed, pulling the covers over his head, and takes deep breaths until he falls asleep.
- x -
He wakes up to someone petting the curls off of his forehead. He yawns and stretches, cat like, and blinks his eyes open to see Zayn smiling hesitantly at him.
"I'm sorry," Zayn says.
"It's fine," Harry says, then yawns again. He pushes his head up into Zayns hand, now scratching at his scalp. "You were drunk, don't worry about it."
"I feel like an idiot," Zayn says, continuing on before Harry has a chance to reply. "We've been hanging out for three months now, and like, I fucking love you, you know? It took me a while to realize, but I started thinking about when we were younger and I was like 'fuck, I liked him,' and it made sense. I was going to say something, bring it up and be all romantic and shit, but then I fucked it up by acting like a drunken idiot last night."
He frowns, huffing the way he does when he's frustrated. Harrys cheeks heat up, and fuck butterflies, there's a zoo in his stomach.
"I think I've loved you since the day you sat on me and squished my face into the carpet until I admitted you were my best friend," Harry says softly.
Zayn beams down at him, tongue poking out from behind his teeth and his eyes scrunched up. "Really?"
"Of course, you fuckwit," Harry laughs. "You've always been there, stuck in my brain, like a fucking leech or something. You're gorgeous and funny and smart and - just kiss me already."
Zayn laughs, shaking his head fondly before leaning down and doing just that. He kisses slow and sweet, his lips soft and a little wet. Zayn lays down between his legs, holding himself up on his elbows, not breaking the kiss. His hands wander eventually, though, light and perfect.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get my shit together," Zayn murmurs against his lips, then trails kisses down his jaw and onto his neck.
"It's okay, you're here now," Harry replies, light headed and breathless.
And it is, okay that is, because it took a while, but eventually Harry got what he wanted.