Archive of Our Own

Sometimes, it just takes you a glimpse at each other to know clearly that you want that person, not any other, but that one person to appear in your future, in the rest of your life.

The moment Yoongi passes by Jimin in the crowded corridor, and when their eyes meet, Jimin just knows.

The moment Yoongi glances at Jimin in the cafeteria, Jimin just knows.

The moment Yoongi enters Jimin’s classroom, Jimin just knows.

The moment Yoongi sits down right beside Jimin, Jimin just knows.

He knows how much he wants the latter to be in his future, and he knows he can make Yoongi his, if he is any where near his lifetime luck.

--/-/--

'Hi' - for the tenth time in a row, Jimin gives a try to greet the quiet Yoongi, always trying to leave the nicest impression Jimin can, hoping that the quiet one shall reply one day.

Yoongi is always quiet like that, which comforts Jimin like the spring wind breezing by his face in the early morning. Sitting next to Yoongi is the easiest yet the hardest thing Jimin has ever given a try in his university life.

No one likes to come close or befriend with Yoongi, except his weird fellow Namjoon and the forever easy-going Jin and Hoseok. Jimin knows them all, they are always famous in school, for being impressively talented and handsome, for being weird by all means as well. Though Jin and Hoseok seem to be friendly all the time, greeting every school mate passing by, they don’t leave their gang, ever. Jimin has never had a chance to witness any of them being with any other gang but their own. They always put their earphones on, hum along to some melodies and chat to each other, look comfortable and confident without any effort. It looks like no one can break into their gang, and their routine. Their presence should always be welcome, yet they try to make it as invisible as possible. They would definitely go unnoticed without Namjoon’s, Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s rap shows every Friday night at a popular pub downtown, without Hoseok’s dancing at every national competition, or without Jin’s handsome figure and charming vocal. They are said to be weird, but Jimin just doesn’t mind caring at all. Jimin has his own best friend group, and he thinks he knows how it works for Yoongi’s friend circle, same with his.

Jimin has one best friend, named Taehyung, and one favorite younger school mate – Jungkook. Taehyung is naturally friendly. He, without Jimin knowing how why and when, befriended with Jin and Hoseok. Taehyung was sometimes invited to join Yoongi’s team for lunch or for Friday’s stage downtown. Jungkook was a different case. This boy is born with an impressive talent like Yoongi’s team. He can sing, rap, dance and never lose a fight. He likes staying quiet, does his favorite things alone, though he can be the spotlight when it comes to any fun and party. He is invited to collaborate with Namjoon for several times already. They work well together, and they are close friends.

How odd this would sound, that Jimin somehow has no connection to Yoongi’s team. He never asks Taehyung or Jungkook about their relationships with those guys. He never seems to be interested in it. Though he dances pretty well and has mesmerizing body built, he is quite a hidden treasure to be found. He met Hoseok in every dance competition, they greeted, and that’s all. How odd, but the friendly Hoseok also planned on no effort to befriend with Jimin. Jimin just simply does not care. He had fun in his own tiny world, which would be enough for his university life, he supposed.

However, sitting on Yoongi’s left side in 3 over 5 classes this term is completely different and unexpected story, Jimin admits. He must say he gets eager to know Yoongi more and more day by day. It has something in Yoongi that he finds irresistible as he comes closer. He loves how Yoongi’s good-looking side face is embraced by the morning sunshine from the window on Jimin’s left side while Yoongi’s precious signature – pale white skin sparkles along with the sunshine. His eyes can look sleepy at moments but get so alive when he talks about music with his best mates. Yoongi looks like he never pays attention, yet he can always answer any random wicked question from the annoying teachers. Yoongi’s scent captivates Jimin and distracts the latter every moment of his close presence. His lips corner just kills Jimin hard every time he forms up any kind of smile, smirk, grin, turn-away smile, or laugh with his husky voice. Jimin just silently takes all of that into his two eyes, wondering if he can ever feel more captivated by anyone as much as how he does now, for Yoongi.

Secret admirer, he calls himself that, and informs it to none of his friends, even Taehyung and Jungkook. People genuinely love to live with secrets, don’t they?

And today, another effort to get closer to his muse still hasn’t bored him yet.

“You know, the sunshine today would definitely be a great call for a picnic… Any plan yet?” – Jimin eyes on his book, and tries to calm his voice to drop a silly pickup line he accidentally eavesdropped from his classmate yesterday.

“That’s a very classic pickup line you got there.” – Yoongi, for the first time ever, replies to Jimin, and he giggles softly.

The teacher beginning her lecture with a ridiculous slideshow on screen cannot catch the two’s attraction even for just a glimpse.

“Well, say, I’m quite old-fashioned.”

“Oh, really? So you would be the type who prefers mannered and distanced flirtation, art-like love letters and dates at the park under some giant old trees? I doubt that, kid. You definitely look up to date, I can tell.” – Yoongi glances over Jimin’s outfit and belongings at once, with a smirk at the younger’s confession.

“Wanna check it out then?” – Jimin smiles naughtily, raising his eyebrows toward Yoongi direction.

“Better mind your study first, kid.” – Yoongi laughs gently, not wanting to attract any redundant attention to him and the funny guy sitting next to him both.

“Oh… Fine, then.” – Jimin embarrassedly turns his eyesight back to his book, and never looks up again in the whole lecture today.

--/-/--

“He did what? That Busan dancing boy flirts on you?”  - Hoseok nearly screamed as Yoongi slowly tell the story.

“Yoongi, you’re a coward.” – Namjoon shakes his head to back up his line. – “Give a try, and check that list.”

“He may sincerely like me, and that’s not acceptable, Namjoon, you know it better than anyone.” – Yoongi sighs, writing non-stop in his lyrics notebook.

“I still agree with Namjoon, what if he just wants to be friend? He seems to be a nice guy.” – Jin smiles in order to comfort Yoongi. – “He can join us for lunch, along with TaeTae and Kookie.”

“Since when have they become TaeTae and Kookie, Jin?” – Yoongi sighs again. – “Do we really have to take in every talented kid in this hilariously crowded school?”

“Yoongi, watch out your own mouth, and no, I just love to befriend with them and that’s all. You should really learn to be with the others, Yoongi, for the sake of yourself.” – Jin slightly shakes his head in disagreement towards Yoongi’s attitude.

“The point is that Yoongi had a silly crush on that Busan boy the moment he saw him at the beginning of school year, and it happens to be recalled when Yoongi hears the boy’s satoori voice in class. He’s just afraid to fall for someone, which he has hardly done ever.” – Namjoon reveals the embarrassing truth, and is immediately defended by Yoongi. – “Shut up, Namjoon. I did like someone ok.”

“A crush in kindergarten does not count, Yoongi.” – Namjoon laughs hard at grumpy Yoongi.

“This doesn’t sound good at all, guys, how about staying away from them? It is no fun messing with the kid’s feeling when we all know how it may end…” – Hoseok worriedly suggests, hoping for the best in Yoongi’s dull future.

“Hoseok, you know Yoongi’s tougher than that. He deserves to experience every emotion as he’s still alive, doesn’t he? And I have faith in his future.” – Namjoon seems like he wouldn’t stop by any minute from now. – “Anyway, that kid will be informed in time, and he will pick his choice on his own.”

“I agree with Namjoon, Hoseok. Sometimes, destiny just crashes on us hard and we can never succeed in avoiding it.” – Jin gives Namjoon’s words some credits.

 “It’s my business, guys. Let me deal with it alone, though there’s still nothing to be dealt with.” – Yoongi closes his notebook, stands up and tends to shove back to class.

“Except your feeling, Yoongi. Your lyrics start to speak again, and this time, it’s not just lyrics anymore. You know it clearly, don’t you?” – Namjoon calmly asks, holding Yoongi’s back from running away.

“Sorry Yoongi, I noticed it too, but I vote for you making your own choice. I just hope that you won’t regret after all.” – Hoseok speaks softly, nearly mumbles to only Yoongi.

Yoongi just shoves to class without responding his friends. He just doesn’t know what to say anymore. He’s confused.

Yoongi noticed too, ok? He knows his lyrics starts to yearn for some more extreme feelings, and the reason for this emotional demand is no stranger but Jimin – his warm friendly adorable yet hot table mate.

But what else can he do? He can’t just mess with someone’s feeling like that, can he?

--/-/--

“Hi there again.” – Jimin smiles to Yoongi, and hands in a tiny candy. – “Thanks for helping with the team work last time.”

“I was just doing my part. What’s with the candy?”

“I was passing by a candy store on the way to school, and wonder if my today can be as sweet as you. So I just picked up some, but TaeTae and Kookie stormed them all from me. I tried my best to save one.” – Jimin smiles again, that deadly shining smile as warm as the sun, and Yoongi just hates to keep eyeing on it.

“Pardon please. As sweet as me? What do you know about me though?” – Yoongi laughs sarcastically, trying to stop the butterflies flying chaotically in his stomach. Yoongi has never confessed but he is actually old-fashioned too.

“I know a lot of things, I believe, from sources.” – Jimin winks, and shifts his head closer to Yoongi’s face. – “Lunch with me today, I’ll let you know how much I know.”

“Nice try, kid, nice try. Mind your own mess first okay?” – Yoongi emotionlessly replies before turning away, closing his book and leaving the classroom with an excuse of sudden illness.

Jimin knows a lot about Yoongi, which is true. He hears from Taehyung and Jungkook, everyday. Of course, the stories are about the whole Yoongi’s crew, but Jimin would automatically skip the others’ parts.

Yoongi knows not much about Jimin, just some facts from Jin’s every day stories. One important thing that he missed is how stubborn Jimin is.

Jimin just never gives up once he is serious. He is interested in Yoongi, and he knows it clearly. It is getting harder and harder to be constrained and avoided already. He urges to approach closer to the older, ignoring some worrying mysterious facts about Yoongi that make Taehyung and Jungkook just won’t let him even give a try on Yoongi.

--/-/--

Under a giant tree in the school’s garden lies a boy, comfortably sleeping with his earphones still on.

“Hi.” – Jimin comes along with a fully bright smile which folds his eyes into crescent lines. – “Old-fashioned type isn’t only my thing, is it?”

“You again.” – Yoongi opens his eyes, raised his head to catch Jimin’s passionate eyesight in return. – “Being annoying isn’t my thing though.”

“Sorry to let you down but this is my favorite place too.” – Jimin giggles, finds no genuine annoyance from Yoongi’s sarcasm.

“Oh, then why haven’t I, by any chance, found you occupying here?” – Yoongi raised his eyebrows in sarcastic attitude, unplugs his earphones and sits up as well.

“I’m here every weekend. On days like today, I’m stuck with dance practices.”

“Why don’t you dance today then? Otherwise I would be more than glad.”

“Nice try driving me away!” – Jimin laughs, raising his baby-like hands to cup his mouth. – “Okay I admit it, I skipped practice to come.”

“What for? What do you want from me?” – Yoongi asks, trying to look annoyed as possible but fails anyway.

“The Big Ol’ disc store downtown is on sale.”

“I know. I’ve been there yesterday and got some nice ones already. Thanks anyway.”

“Yeah but only today do they put some real things, some crazy old master pieces, on the shelves.”

“How the hell do you know that?” – Yoongi widens his eyes at the response.

“The owner’s son is my dance pal.” – Jimin confidently answers. – “And I asked him to save the best for us today. Take your time, I won’t miss a thing since I can ask him to save some for me anytime, but many of the albums are booked already, just for your information.” – Jimin slowly provokes, eyes still closing to enjoy the warm sunshine overlaying him.

“Get your ass up, what are you waiting for!” – Yoongi already stands up and waits for the silly younger to moves quickly.

It’s weird, it really is, but Jimin does actually know exactly what Yoongi is looking for. Collecting disc is a hobby of every member in his team. They only gather and share their resources once a month or rarer. They are about to throw a gathering to share the rare discs they got lately again soon, so this is exactly what Yoongi wants for now.

“Shit, Jimin, holy shit. These stuffs are crazy! How the hell can they even sell these? Like, seriously, my father couldn’t even buy this when he was a child, to be honest. These old stuffs are dope, I must say.” – Yoongi is completely driven by the master pieces Jimin asked his friend to present to them.

“You owe me big this time, Jimin.” – His friend laughs. – “Extreme, aren’t they? These are limited and not even for sale. My old man planned on giving away to his old friends as gifts, but I asked for some.”

“What does Jimin even promise to pay you, pal? The price won’t be cheap, will it? Like, seriously, this can make hundred bucks on e-bay, or more.” – Yoongi is curious enough until now.

“He’d give me his supposed-to-be center spot in the team’s main dance formation for the national dance competition next month, where every recruiter come and look for new rookies.”

 “Oh…” – Yoongi is numb by now. He silently turns and hides his faces in the discs pile just in case there is any stupid sheer of red on his cheek, because inevitably, he feels completely fluttered and blushed by what Jimin did for him.

“Shut up dude.” – Jimin hits his pal and shoos him away before getting closer to Yoongi’s standing spot. – “You know what, just ignore his stupid words. I get to pick some discs for myself too, don’t I?” – Jimin stands right behind Yoongi, speaks softly to the latter’s right ear while his right hand picking up some discs next to Yoongi’s. His chest nearly touches Yoongi’s back, and no difference in height makes Jimin leans on closer to speak to Yoongi’s ear like that.

All of this nearly drives Yoongi’s inner self exploded, but by no bloody way would he ever admit it.

“I love it. I mean, I love the discs.” – lifting a bag of many precious old masterpieces, Yoongi tells Jimin as both of them are standing in front of Yoongi’s dorm. – “I mean… thanks, I had fun.”

“Can I get something in return then?” – Jimin laughs at awkward Yoongi.

“What?” – Yoongi is shocked for a bit, but get back to his sense right away. – “I can buy you lunch, if you want.”

“Nah. Take my phone number, and-” – Jimin shoves his hand into his jacket’s pocket, withdrawing a bunch of tickets with a piece of paper with his phone number, and he hands them to Yoongi. – “come to see my solo next Sunday. There are tickets for the rest of your fellows too; I mean Namjoon hyung, Hoseok hyung and Jin hyung.”

“You’re pretty close to my friends huh?” – Yoongi puts on a sarcastic smile, feeling uncomfortable as how Jimin is so familiar with him but he has no idea about Jimin.

“Only you left, indeed.” – Jimin nods his head in agreement.

“What’s hard to have is worth having, isn’t it? I’m going in now, see you around.” – Yoongi gets inside even before Jimin has a chance to say goodbye. It seems like Yoongi’s truly not comfortable with a goodbye like how Tae stated.

“How was the date?” – Namjoon glances at Yoongi from his book, trying to tease Yoongi by any chance.

“It was not a date, you stalker! You’re the one who tell Jimin where I was, aren’t you? And you would definitely regret teasing me, you dumb ass.” – Yoongi unpacks the discs and shows them to Namjoon.

“Oh holy shit. Where the fuck did you get these? You’re the boss, alright!” – Namjoon feels completely insane with the stuffs Yoongi got home.

“From that brat of course. That kid… is not bad at all…” – Yoongi murmurs, as his lips still parts for a smile he can’t stop.

“Cool kid! He’s in, definitely in, Yoongi. I don’t care about your stupid reasons, and I want him to hang out with us.” – Namjoon nearly screams from excitement.

“Have you ever actually considered my objection? Anyway, he’s having a solo performance next Sunday, wanna come? He got us tickets.”

“That smart kid knows what he’s doing huh? All he wants is to get your ass out there and check his dancing out, and he knows you wouldn’t go unless we do. Cool kid! I’m in. I’ll tell Hoseok and Jin hyung.” – Namjoon swings away, slamming on Hoseok’s door and gets out of Yoongi’s sight, leaving the older a quiet space to fully calm down.

“A date? No hell way.” – Yoongi mumbles to himself, being messed by Namjoon’s stupid comments, yet a grin still hanging on his mouth can’t go unnoticed anyway.

--/-/--

Yoongi doesn’t miss Jimin’s solo.

He’s actually present at the beginning of the show even when Jimin’s performance is near the end. Jin and Hoseok bring along some kind of silly banners to wave and Namjoon even buys some flower just in case. Taehyung and Jungkook on the other hand bring nothing but their bodies.

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘You’re here already?’

Message from Yoongi hyung: ‘Nervous?’

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘A little…’

Message from Yoongi hyung: ‘Don’t freak yourself out in there. I won’t leave even if you suck.’

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘Very supportive, hyung, very supportive.’

Message from Yoongi hyung: ‘Just kill the stage and meet us later. They’re about to go check out new restaurant nearby after your dance.’

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘My treat then.’

Message from Yoongi hyung: ‘Not if I’m here.’

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘It’s my show after all, so let me end my day manly okay?’

Message from Yoongi hyung: ‘…Hard head kid. Rock the stage, I’m waiting.’

Message from Park Jiminie: ‘Just what I need to hear, but I’d prefer a good luck kiss next time. See you later.’

Jimin insanely rules the stage, and for the first time, Yoongi feels like sugar high for just a dance, feels like Jimin’s moves completely flushed away his mind.

“So, how was I?” – Jimin slides in to sit next to Yoongi while the others are still ordering. Their eyes meet and stay in contact for minutes before Yoongi cuts it off and turn away.

“Not…not that bad…” – Yoongi shrugs and stutters.

“Just…that?” – Jimin embarrassedly chokes. – “Are you so used to Hoseok hyung’s dancing already?”

“What’s with my name in your conversation huh?” – The rest of them suddenly come back and Hoseok interrupts Jimin’s embarrassment.

“Nothing!” – Both Yoongi and Jimin denying at the same time make Namjoon, Hoseok and Jin laugh devilishly while Taehyung and Jungkook confusedly eyeing each other.

Dinner goes on more merrily than they thought it could, so Namjoon decides they should just join as one team since they’re so compatible. Yoongi doesn’t feel alright about this. Jimin’s getting closer and closer to him, which is definitely no good to both of them.  

--/-/--

“Hi…”

“Oh Yoongi, hi! Early for class today huh?” – Jimin closes his book, lifts his head up to look at Yoongi in the eyes. Looking how all the twinkling works on Yoongi’s eyes magically makes Jimin wonders how it’d feel to wake up beside Yoongi. ‘It’d be the best way to start a day’ – Jimin secretly thinks and giggles silly to himself.

“Well… Actually, I’m not gonna be in class today, but well… There’s a rap performance tonight. Namjoon, Hoseok and I are gonna be there rapping some new tracks. Wanna come?” – Yoongi lowers his voice, feeling awkward to actually invite Jimin. Right now, he just wanna kill Namjoon hard for trick him to do this.

“Sure! Sure I’ll come.”

“…Okay… Uhm… Cool. See you then…”

“Wait, Yoongi. Where are you going? You said you won’t stay for class right?” – Jimin lifts his hand to hold Yoongi’s.

“I… I have to… I have something to do so…” – Yoongi withdraws his hand immediately.

“Oh… Okay… See you tonight then…”

“Yea…” – Yoongi is about to go but- “Hey Jimin.”

“Uh huh?”

“Can you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me not to ever fall in love with me…” – Yoongi tries to look in Jimin’s eyes, to show his determination. He already made up his mind that Jimin should not be around him any longer.

“What?” – Jimin wrinkles his face in confusion, wondering what Yoongi actually means.

“I better go… See you.” – Yoongi quickly runs away, leaving Jimin no time for further question. 

--/-/--

Like how Yoongi came early for Jimin’s stage, Jimin also appears to be early for Yoongi’s rap show. Though his body is present in the crowd, his mind is still echoing Yoongi’s words – “Promise me not to ever fall in love with me…”

The rap performance goes on smoothly. They burn the stage like fire, as always.

However, instead of joining a dinner after stage, Yoongi rushed out of the place like there is something burning inside him.

“Yoongi!” – Jimin grabs Yoongi’s hand to stop him from running.

“Ji-Jimin.” – Yoongi looks all frightened and Jimin still doesn’t understand anything.

“Why are you leaving? We’re having a party in there…”

“I… I must go…” – Yoongi withdraws his hand from Jimin’s.

“Yoongi, hey, Yoongi!” – Jimin holds Yoongi’s elbow this time. – “Listen… About the promise this morning, and your song… Is there anything wrong? I mean… You know… I thought that we could…give a try. I know you wanna be with me too, and I don’t see reason why we shouldn’t…”

“No, Jimin… I… I…” – Yoongi stutters. – “I… I’ll go abroad…for studying…soon. I don’t want to have any relationship here…”

“Abroad? Really?”

“Distant relationship isn’t my thing, Jimin… I’m sorry.” – Yoongi lowers his head, tries not to look at Jimin.

“I…” – Jimin doesn’t know what to say. Distant relationship doesn’t usually end well, Jimin knows it. He doesn’t mind it himself, but what if Yoongi just hates it, he doesn’t know.

Jimin has no choice but to let Yoongi go. After all, it is his right to accept a relationship or not.

--/-/--

‘Knock knock’

“Who’s that?” – Yoongi really hates being disturbed while composing, but there’s just him alone in the dorm. Namjoon and Hoseok have been out for some food for like a decade already.

“Hi.” – Jimin appears to be at the door. He wears long sleeves and tight black jeans, looking hotter than ever.

“Oh… You again…” – Yoongi awkwardly scratches the back of his head because of this unexpected guest coming by night.

“I was just… I’m here to see Hoseok. He told me to come. We’re…gonna have a collaboration for a performance in a club downtown, next month, so he just wanted to plan it ahead.” – Jimin also feels the awkwardness as he puts his hands into jeans pockets, shrugging his shoulders and popping slightly his two feet.

“Oh, then, come in. I’m…doing my stuff…so…you can just sit there-” – Yoongi points at the sofa in the middle of the room – “and I’ll be right in my room if there’s anything you need. Imma get you some water.”

“It’s okay. Just do your thing.” – Jimin steps inside, waving hand slightly as a sign to refuse the water. – “How’s the preparation? When will you leave? I haven’t seen you around in school, so I guess it’s all done, I mean the paperwork and visa and stuffs?”

“Yea… I’ll leave soon…” – Yoongi gets back to work and Jimin keeps sitting on the sofa, staring into Yoongi’s room with his room door half opened.

A few minutes pass, and Jimin starts to hear Yoongi’s husky voice mumbling some kind of lyrics. Jimin is pretty sure it’s not a rap part but vocal lines indeed. He can tell; Taehyung and he usually visit Jungkook while the younger’s recording.

Yoongi seems to have problem reaching the high notes, and Jimin is already standing at his door.

“Knock knock again” – Jimin knocks on the opened door, naively smiles at Yoongi as the latter startles and turns to look at him.

“You scared shit out of me, Jiminie.” – Yoongi grunts, turning his head back to the sheets.

“Need any help with the singing?” – Jimin chuckles, for Yoongi’s grumpy face is rather cute.

“You can sing?” – Yoongi glances doubtly at Jimin.

“I can try.” – Jimin just shrugs.

“Oh… Okay… Come in.”

“Let’s see what you got here…” – Jimin looks at the lyrics. – “How do you want it to sound like?”

“Kinda like this…” – Yoongi points at the lyrics with his pale skinny bony finger, hums quietly once with his sexy husky voice.

“Okay…” – Jimin nods slightly, focuses on the sheets and hums the melody before giving a real try.

It is a sad love song. The lyrics sound so constrained and passionate that Jimin feels like it is for him. It is exactly how he’s been feeling these days, so he just sings it beautifully. His high notes are angelic, and Yoongi can’t help but stares at him blankly.

“How was it?” – Jimin turns around to face Yoongi, and he finds a completely vacant expression of stunned Yoongi a few centimeters from his own face.

Jimin has his eyes fixed on Yoongi’s blanked eyes. Jimin thinks that Yoongi’s song just enhances every feeling deep down in him, and he really can’t hold himself back anymore. Seconds later, Jimin swears to God he doesn’t know how but his lips already instinctively place on Yoongi’s. Then, he parts his lips a bit and tries kissing Yoongi with his eyes closed, like how he has always imagined he would.

Yoongi’s lips are the sexiest and most adorable thing at the same time, and Jimin loves it. Still closing his eyes, Jimin kisses Yoongi deeper and longer. He slowly lifts his hand to caress Yoongi’s soft cheek. He can sense Yoongi’s fanning breath warm on his face. He can feel Yoongi’s body so tense…like he’s going to explode any minute now.

“Fuck, Park Jimin, no!” – Yoongi suddenly pushes Jimin away, looks all frightened and panic.

“Wh…why…? I’m… Fuck, sorry, Yoongi, I…I…” – Jimin, completely lost and confused by Yoongi’s reaction, holds Yoongi’s hand and stutters his apology.

“No, Jimin, no… I can’t… We can’t fucking do this, Jimin, we fucking can’t!” – Yoongi pulls his hand out of Jimin’s, closes his eyes and shakes his head furiously to make his point clear enough.

“But why? Yoongi! Yoongi, hey, look at me!” – Jimin firmly holds Yoongi’s head so that the older can eye on him still. – “I need to know why, Yoongi. I thought…I thought we could… We can just, you know, date… I can wait until you come back, or if you’ll stay abroad for good, I can come along. I’m fine living anywhere as long as there’ll be you. What can be wrong with that? Please don’t tell me that dating ain’t your thing…”

“No, Jiminie, you don’t understand. I really can’t, Jimin.” – Yoongi shakes his head slowly, and his eyes suddenly look deeply morose. Jimin feels like a sudden blue just passes by and drains out all of Yoongi’s hope in life.

“Hey… Just tell me. What I don’t understand?” – Jimin keeps caressing Yoongi’s cheeks and ears, whispering softly.

“I… I… Jimin… I’m not going anywhere.” – Yoongi stares blankly at Jimin and says out what he has been tiredly hiding. – “Actually, I’m dying…”

“What?” – Jimin is completely shocked for now. – “No… Yoongi…” – He tries to laugh but just can’t. – “No… You’re… You’re perfectly fine. You’re just 21, you’re perfect. You’re not dying?” – He tries to seek any signs of joke on Yoongi’s face, while his hands keep caressing Yoongi’s cold pale cheeks hurriedly.

“Jimin… I…” – Yoongi grudgingly closes his eyes, tremblingly cups Jimin’s hands and sighs. – “I didn’t mean to hide this from you. I tried to avoid you but… I will have a surgery soon, and I… I don’t know… The success possibility is not very positive. I just can’t hold onto you, Jimin. That’d be the most senseless stupidest cruelest thing that I would never do…”

“Yoongi…” – After a long silence, Jimin shifts closer to feel Yoongi’s forehead touching his. – “I…”

“Go, Jimin… Just leave… You should not be here. You should never be around either…” – Yoongi whispers, tries to shove Jimin away but his so weak determination can’t make his body to do so.

“No… I…” – Jimin closes his eyes tighter, squeezes Yoongi’s hands to not tremble on his own. – “Isn’t it too late to tell by now, Yoongi?”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, I swear. I just couldn’t hold myself from…” – Yoongi slowly speaks with hurtful halts.

“It’s too late, Yoongi, you know it… I like you… I… I love you, Yoongi… Let me stay…” – Jimin places a soft kiss on Yoongi’s forehead, – “Give a try…” – another kiss on his nose, - “Have faith…” – another one on his cheek, - “Let me stay, Yoongi. I’m not walking away from you, from us.” – and another longer one on his lips. – “My stubborn heart wouldn’t listen to your words anyway…” – He giggles, but feels a tear silently rolling down his crumpled face. He embraces Yoongi with his trembling arms, takes a deep breath and whispers – “Let me stay, Yoongi. You don’t have to go through this on your own… I can…I can handle myself. I will stay tough, I promise. Please…”  

“Jimin… How can I…”

“You know how hard-headed I am, Yoongi, and my heart is even worse. What if you can make it? I will stay even with less than 1% of success. No one can have the right to make me leave you once there’s still a chance, Yoongi, even you.” – Jimin desperately presses a constrained kiss hard on Yoongi’s lips, holds Yoongi’s struggling wrists tight.

“Hm… Park… Park fucking Jimin!” – Yoongi finds his way to get out of Jimin’s grip and kiss, shouts his name, and cries… - “It’s hard for me too, you fucking asshole! You think it’s easy for me? Waiting to die, knowing there won’t be any tomorrow for us, and still you want me to keep you around to watch me die?”

“Just let it be!” – Jimin mildly caresses Yoongi’s wet cheek, softens his voice again. – “Yoongi… It’s okay… There’s still time, and still chance, isn’t it? Everything will be fine… Even if…it turns out… I can… I can pull myself together, with some time, I promise… Don’t make me walk away from any chance of us, Yoongi.”

 “I don’t know, Jimin… Please just leave now…” – Yoongi turns away from Jimin, steps out of his chair and heads to the dorm door. – “Give me some time to think…”

Jimin hesitates at the door, stares desperately at Yoongi.

“Jimin… Just go. Let me think, okay? Please… You too, go back and think again…”

“I’ll come back…” – Jimin steps out of the door but still looks at Yoongi. – “Give us a chance, Yoongi. We both deserve it.”

“I…”

“I love you.”

Yoongi closes the door and exhaustedly leans against it. – “What should I do… Jimin… What should I do with you…with us? You know I can’t walk away too… If I could, I already did…”

--/-/--

--/-/--

They are lying on a huge blanket on Jimin’s house garden, under Jimin’s childhood tree house.

“Tell me then, how lame could it be?” – Jimin embraces sleepy Yoongi in his firm arms.

“No… No hell way I’m going to make fun of myself.” – Yoongi giggles, pinches on Jimin’s fluffy cheek as it makes him feel secure and true.

“Don’t you want to fulfill the list with me?” – Jimin takes a deep breath of Yoongi’s hair scent, letting him drown in Yoongi’s existence traces.

“Well… It’s silly, it’s nothing. It was made when I was 10 or something.” – Yoongi coughs slightly, smiling as memories just flashed through his mind.

“Just tell me, I promise I won’t laugh.” – Jimin reaches Yoongi’s lips and places a soft enchanting kiss on his most favorite pair of lips.

“Okay… I have fulfilled two things thanks to you. One is accepting to be someone’s. I have never thought of belonging to someone, so it sounded like a challenging one.”

“Oh… Does it mean that I’m your first?” – Jimin plays with Yoongi’s hands, smiles happily at Yoongi’s answer.

“I did like someone else before you!” – Yoongi pouts.

“So, have you regretted yet, belonging to me?” – Jimin laughs at Yoongi’s grumpy pout.

“No… I… I’ve prayed to be only yours… You are like…my only hope, Jimin…”

“…Okay, go on, dear.” – Jimin goes silent, gripping Yoongi tighter.

“One is getting the discs that can wow both my father and Namjoon.” – Yoongi holds on Jimin’s grip. – “I want to sleep in a tree house, which we will be doing later, I suppose. Still, these don’t sound as silly as the others though. The rest of my list is very hard to be fulfilled, to be honest. I love recalling the classics, good old times. I have one about watching movie in the old way, sitting in a car with a movie screen on a wall in the middle of nowhere. I also wish to do something crazy in the middle of a dancing crowd with music from a classical jukebox which I don’t know if any of them is still in use except those presented in the museum. And I want to be completely willing to make one vow, the kind of vow that makes me try to keep it no matter what, as long as I’m alive. I hate being tied to something, so this is a frustrating one.”

“Okay… That does sound a little bit childish indeed. Haha…” – Jimin teases Yoongi while trying to memorizing all of the wishes. – “Let’s get settled down in the tree house for now, it’d be warmer. You’re freezing, darling.” – He hugs Yoongi and pulls the older up, taking things and moves toward the ladder leading to his tree house.

“Who made you this anyway?” – Yoongi lifts his eyesight to fully see the big tree house above.

“My dad, my younger brother and I made it altogether in one summer. It was tiring but was one of the most memorable things to recall. Do you want me to help you up?” – Jimin just can’t leave Yoongi’s side for more than 10 minutes. He always feel like there wouldn’t be enough of time for him to be with Yoongi, and it is torturing his every cell.

“It’s okay. Let me climb by myself. I’m not gonna die from climbing a tree.” – Yoongi laughs sleepily.

“Yoongi… I don’t like that kind of joke…” – Jimin frowns, trying to hide his sudden nerve away.

“Jimin… Let’s face it. I am not sure about my future, and us. I can’t give you any fucking promise that I can’t keep. There won’t be words like ‘Okay I’ll be fine, we’ll live until our hair turns gray’ and some other bullshits. Jimin, I love you, and that’s all I can keep.” – Yoongi speaks with an emotionless face, which makes Jimin’s heart aches even more.

“Yoongi…” – Jimins hugs him tight. – “That’s enough for me already, more than enough.”

“How easy you are.” – Yoongi teases.

“I love you, and it’s so easy to love you, so hard to not to…” – He whispers into Yoongi’s ear, slowly sways the latter’s body and feels his shivering body in Jimin’s embrace.

“That’s… enough for me too, more than enough…” – Yoongi closes his eyes, feels both the breeze running along his spine and something warm inside his heart.

“You may catch a cold. Come on, let me help you up.”

In the tree house

“Do you like stars, Jimin? How can they be so bright and clear just from your tree house’s window? It’s not that tall up here, isn’t it?” – Yoongi murmurs quietly, sounds sheepishly sleepy.

“I don’t know why, but I do love them.” – Jimin replies, tugging a blanket higher so that it can cover Yoongi’s neck as well.

“I think that someday, I’ll be one of them…” – Yoongi suddenly feels silly at his own childish thought.

“Not until I’m one too, Yoongi.” – Jimin kisses away Yoongi’s words, lulling baby Yoongi to sleep.

“Jimin?”

“I’m here.”

“I’m…afraid.”

“Why, my dear?” – Jimin lowers his voice.

“I’m afraid of waking up to somewhere without you…”

“…You won’t be, I promise, you won’t.”

“Pinky-swear?” – Yoongi giggles for the hundredth time tonight, raising his pinky finger toward Jimin’s. Tree house does make him feel like being a 10-year-old child again, which helps him feel more alive for a while. He just hates feeling like dying every minute of his fucking short life.

“Pinky-swear.” – Jimin places a kiss on Yoongi’s forehead, humming a soft melody to lull Yoongi into sleep, but staying awake himself.

His left hand gently pats on Yoongi’s shoulder, while his right one keeps brushing Yoongi’s hair slowly. The night passes so quickly that Jimin feels a little irritated. He just wants to look at Yoongi a little longer, being so frightened with the thought of losing Yoongi from his eyesight any day.

--/-/--

“Here we are.” – Jimin stops the car in the middle of a vast vacant land.

“What the bloody hell, Jimin. This ain’t movie theatre.” – Yoongi looks around confusedly.

“So impatient, aren’t you?” – Jimin giggles, pulls out a popcorn box from behind and pushes it into Yoongi’s emptied hands.

“Don’t tell me…” – Yoongi closes one eye slightly at Jimin, wondering if…

Jimin no longer looks at Yoongi but turns his head to face the grayish emptied wall in front of their car. Yoongi follows and does the same; and just in a minute, a visual screen pops up on the wall from nowhere, starting to show the intro music of Inception – Yoongi’s all time favorite.

“I… I…” – Yoongi stutters, not knowing what to say. – “…I didn’t bring my list along.”

“You can give it a tick later, any time, sweetie.” – Jimin gives Yoongi a candy smile. – “Can I now have your gummy smile in place of a ‘thanks’?”  

Yoongi can’t help but parts his lips slightly, slowly forms up happiness overloaded gummy smile – Jimin’s favorite sight of all time.

That’s enough for Jimin, more than enough.

--/-/--

“So there would be hot chicks and beers and loud speakers? Like seriously, we’re going to have some real fun?” – Yoongi questions Jimin with a rather doubtful look.

“Wake up already gummy bear? Uh huh. I think we’ll have real fun.” – Jimin chokes at Yoongi’s “chicks” as he rolls his wheel to park his car in the last emptied space in front of somewhat looks like the 90s bistro with colorful neon lights flashing above their heads.

“Old-fashioned huh?” – Yoongi smirks.

“Same like you.” – Jimin winks, gets out of the car and quickly opens Yoongi’s side door with Yoongi’s coat in his hand already. Yoongi is quite weak lately, due to the abnormal weather, and Jimin doesn’t skip any weather forecast for the past few weeks after Yoongi’s painful bloody cough.

As Yoongi steps in, he is greeted with an old rock and roll song, some people dancing merrily in the middle of the room, while the others sitting around on chairs made from old wine barrels and the tables are also made of dark colored wood, and – “Oh my god a fucking jukebox. Jimin how?” – He stares at Jimin with completely shocked look.

“This is the only one in our neighborhood; it took me quite a while to look for though.” – Jimin holds Yoongi hand and gently leads him to 2 seats spared by the beer bar where the old fat bartender with awesome white beard looks like he’s telling some good old time stories to his half drunken audiences.

“Two beers please.” – Jimin friendly nods his head as greeting toward the bartender. – “You got any interesting tales to tell?”

“Sure kid. I’m in the middle of how a lost cowgirl found her shoes up on the rooftop after her hangover ten years ago. It completely drives these folks insane! Hahaha…” – the old man buoyantly laughs while getting Jimin and Yoongi two large cups of beer.

As the old man carries on his funny stories, Yoongi can’t help but keeps his eyes fixed on him, and Jimin has his eyes completely on Yoongi.

After an hour of enough plain but funny enough jokes learnt from the bartender, Jimin asks Yoongi out on the floor to dance.

Yoongi is not born to dance. He feels awkward with his body movements. He loves rock and roll, he obviously does. Still, the only kind of dance he knows is slowly dancing to gentle love songs as how Yoongi’s mother taught him when he was a child and the jukebox is obviously not on his side for now.

“Wait a minute.” – Jimin whispers to Yoongi ear and places a kiss behind his ear before leaving to reach the jukebox.

Suddenly, the jukebox booked with a long waiting list of rock and roll turns to a soft love song. Everyone was kind of paralyzed at first, but then they just follow the flow, believing that there is someone about to throw something special.  

Jimin returns and holds Yoongi, slowly leads him into small steps and slight movements.

“Yoongi…” – Jimin hums into Yoongi’s ear, as if he’s singing, not just speaking.

“Hum?” – Yoongi tiredly places his head on the crook of Jimin’s neck, humming back.

“Is there anything left in your list? Is there anything you just put in yesterday, or still hide from me?” – Jimin softly asks, as if he’s just talking about some kinds of daily routine activities.

“Yeah… Racing with a cheetah. I just put it in yesterday.” – Yoongi giggles, finds himself pretty senseless to be kidding at such time.

“…I’ll give a try, but you should only stay aside and watch.” – Jimin surprisingly agrees and kisses Yoongi hair, hiding his shaking voice.

“Jimin…” – Yoongi sighs, also tries to holds in his tears. – “We don’t have much time left, you know that.”

“I know, baby, I always know.” – Jimin keeps spreading kisses on Yoongi’s hair, and his face crumples from a slight pain impulse right in the heart.

“We can still carry on after my surgery, right?” – Yoongi chokes a laugh at his own words, knowing he would shed a tear otherwise.

“Sure, my sweetie, anything you want, anything… But we still have a few days left, I remember, so is there…anything you still want to do before it?” – Jimin whispers as he holds his dearest Yoongi tighter.

“Can we… visit your hometown once? I’ve always wanted to see how the sun goes up from Haeundae beach.” – Yoongi places a soft kiss on Jimin neck, feeling dizzy already for the repeating love songs.

“You know what? Classics would suggest a simple wedding on a fine so fine beach, and Haeundae is just perfect. Perfect as you are.” – Jimin responds with a long soft kiss on Yoongi’s lips while Yoongi’s eyes can’t help but opens wide.

“Yoongi… I know…” – Jimin is actually on one knee now, in the middle of the 90s bistro, with a jukebox playing old love songs. His hand already holds a box of ring, and Yoongi can only cup his mouth by his spared hand to prevent himself from sobbing. – “It has been just a few short months but… I promise, I swear, I can never fall for anyone but you. If you love me as how I fond of you, please make the vow that you swear to keep as long as you alive, please say yes, please say you do, please…”

“No… No, Jimin, this should only happens once in your life, as you always wish for, remember? You know it better than I should, Jimin, I may not be able to go on with you…” – Yoongi slowly shakes his head in disbelief, makes tear start to fall down drop by drop.  

“It will happen once only, I swear to God, and it definitely must be with you. I see only you standing beside me in my future, and that’s enough to walk our way until our very last breath together. Walk with me, Yoongi. I’ll complete every to-do list you can ever come up with. There will be enough time for us, more than enough, until forever. For once, Yoongi, think for yourself, for once, be selfish, and don’t refuse my last wish for our happiness, Yoongi.” – Jimin kisses Yoongi’s hand, tears already falling.

“I… I…Park Jiminie, of course I will-” – Yoongi falls into Jimin’s arm before actually fainting from overwhelmed feelings fluttered in both his heart and soul.

The last word echoing in his head is his name shouted repeatedly from Jimin’s frightened shaking lips.

Belonging to someone is not bad at all…

That is enough for Yoongi, more than enough.

--/-/--

“Wake up already? You sleep too much, baby, you nearly missed the rising sun.” – Jimin whispers into Yoongi’s ear as he finds the latter’s eyes heavily open.

“Did I miss it?” – Yoongi feels his eyes so heavy, and his head is in a big fuss of ocean waves.

“No, sweetie, look. There it rises.” – Jimin kisses on Yoongi’s temple, pointing at the rising sun.

“It’s beautiful, Jimin. It is more than I’ve ever expected.” – Yoongi mumbles and unintentionally falls back to sleep, not noticing he wearing a groom’s suit with a ring on his ring finger, and all of his friends and family are standing behind.  

Jimin cries out loud into Yoongi’s hair, desperately embracing Yoongi so tight when he only wishes he can carve Yoongi into his healthy self.

“No! It’s never enough! Not enough at all!” – Jimin screams out to the ocean. For the first time, he admits it, admits that being with Yoongi is nowhere close to enough for him.

The others can only silently shed tears behind them, praying for Yoongi’s only fragile hope and Jimin’s broken heart.

--/-/--

“Yoongi, you’ll be fine, I promise. I’ll be right here, waiting for you. You stay strong, Yoongi, live, for me…” – Jimin kisses on sleeping Yoongi’s forehead before Yoongi being transferred into the surgery room, whispering words Yoongi cannot hear.

“Everything will be fine.” – Namjoon pats gently on Jimin’s shoulder while the others stand behind in silence.

The surgery room door is heavily closed in front of Jimin, leaving him drown in fear.

Jimin has never actually wished for anything since the day he was born, but now he does, because Yoongi is also his only hope, and they are meant to be…

--/-/--

Yoongi wakes up to neither heaven nor hell. It is a plain room in dim light with a few of basic furniture pieces, like a TV, a medium sofa, and some hospital tools.

Yoongi coughs as he feels something stuck inside his lungs.

“Yoongi… Baby, Yoongi. Are you awake?” – Jimin shouts at first but regulates his volume later. He doesn’t expect Yoongi to be shocked.

“Ji…min?” – Yoongi whispers tiredly.

“I’m here, sweetie, I’m here.” – Jimin holds Yoongi’s hand tight, informing not only Yoongi’s ears and eyes but also his body about Jimin’s genuine presence.

“Did I…” – Yoongi whispers with his eyes closed. He’s quite tired to speak for now.

“Yes, baby, you’re fine now. You’re with me now.” – Jimin spreads kisses on Yoongi’s hair, forehead, eyes, and hands while tears keep falling down on his cheeks.

“That’s-” – Yoongi also feels his body alive, though it’s still hard for him to talk.

“Enough. I know. That’s enough for us, more than enough…” – Jimin lays his forehead on Yoongi’s fragile pale hand; smiling satisfied while happy tears keep rolling down. – “I love you, my sugar.”

“Thank you, my dearest Jiminie, for always being with me.” – Yoongi slowly closes his eyes, knowing he won’t have to be afraid of not seeing Jimin anymore ever again. This would be just a short sleep, short enough for him to once again wake up in Jimin’s arm, where he forever belongs. – “Knowing there will be a tomorrow for us is more than enough. When I wake up, please remind me to tell you how much I love you.”

-End-