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It was his second day on the job when Jinwoo decided that he hated Kim Myungjun.
The first day on the job was nice. Myungjun smiled at him and Jinwoo actually felt some sort of affection for such an endearing grin. He wondered just how often he could have Myungjun smile in his direction before his heart would explode, and he wondered if it would be too bold of him to ask for Myungjun's number. He went home at the end of his shift with nothing but pleasant imaginations of holding hands with Myungjun.
Tomorrow couldn't have come soon enough, but then Myungjun was set to finish his training.
And Jinwoo realized Myungjun was an annoyance.
The boy constantly made quips about his lack of skills in making coffee, despite Jinwoo repeating, “It's my first time,” a great number of times. Myungjun also laughed loudly, obnoxiously, when Jinwoo messed up a few orders due to sheer lack of confidence, and offered no help in pushing angry customers off his back.
Myungjun then proceeded to eat Jinwoo's sandwich and defended himself with, “Well, it wasn't marked and I was hungry because I forgot mine! I'll buy you a new one.”
The end of the second day left Jinwoo seething and hoping that Myungjun would quit for some reason and never show up in Jinwoo's sights ever again.
“He's still working, and he's still the shift manager,” Jinwoo grumbled one day, slouched over his roommate's bed as he bemoaned his new measly position at the cafe. “I wish he was under me so I could pummel his ass.”
“God, please don't say stuff like that,” Minhyuk responded with a slight wince.
“Seriously, Minhyuk, he's killing my will to live! I hate going into work because of him! And no one else seems to understand, since he's the sweetest angel to the rest of them. I don't know what I did to make him hate me so much.” Jinwoo rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I thought he was beautiful when I first saw him.”
Minhyuk was typing away on his laptop, thus giving Jinwoo only half of his attention. “I take it you think he's super ugly now, right?”
“The ugliest creature ever.”
“That's harsh.” Minhyuk sighed and finally glanced up from his screen. “Maybe you did something to piss him off on your first day. Maybe you looked at him funny, and maybe he's a sensitive guy.”
Jinwoo shook his head. “He doesn't seem very sensitive. Some customers once poked fun at his height and he just told them that all of his good looks were stuck on his face and he needed to save some for everyone else, so he took a short body as a sacrifice.”
“Okay, maybe he's overly-confident and your good looks threaten his existence.”
With that, Jinwoo laughed and nudged Minhyuk with his foot. “You think I'm good looking?”
“Hypothetically.” Minhyuk realized his mistake and scooted away with a frown on his lips. “Hypothetically, let's say you were good looking. Maybe he would be threatened by that.”
“He's nice to Dongmin, though, and Dongmin is probably one of the most good-looking guys in existence.” Jinwoo paused for a few seconds, then added, “I mean, other than me. I think I'm the best one in that coffee shop.”
“Maybe Myungjun thinks so, too.”
“Myungjun thinks I'm good-looking? Please.” With a snort, Jinwoo sat up and leaned his back against the wall. “He can't stand to look at me for more than three seconds without making some terrible remark. And he's actually really insulting! It pisses me off.”
Minhyuk closed his laptop. “Just ask him, hyung. It might be something you did. Also, get out of my room. I have to change to go to my job, and if you keep talking, then my manager will be making insulting remarks to me. Shoo.”
Minhyuk, Jinwoo decided as he stood outside of the closed room, was hardly any help whatsoever. Asking someone flat-out would never solve anything at all, and it certainly wouldn't ever resolve his issues with a short and mean Kim Myungjun.
Besides, Jinwoo was content to hate someone who blinded him with pretty smiles. At least this way Myungjun would stop smiling his way and distracting him from work.
It was Dongmin who gave him the idea of creating an online dating profile. Jinwoo had first been very opposed to the idea, but Dongmin insisted it was worth it. “I met Binnie that way,” he stated. “And look how happy I am now.”
“Are you trying to imply that I'm not happy?” Jinwoo asked, making certain to keep his voice down just in case a certain Kim Myungjun was listening into the conversation (and it wouldn't be the first time that had happened). “Because I am happy. I'm extremely happy.” As if to prove how happy he was, Jinwoo slammed shut the coffee pot he was brewing.
Dongmin raised an eyebrow. “Well...” He gestured over to the abused appliance, and Jinwoo sighed.
“Sorry. You-Know-Who was getting under my skin today. He didn't tell me he mopped and I tripped and he dropped a customer's cup of tea because he was laughing so much. It was embarrassing.”
Jinwoo could tell that Dongmin was trying not to smile. “I think a dating site will get your mind off of You-Know-Who.”
“I doubt it.”
“Trust me. It will help find someone else that you're infatuated – not infatuated, wrong word choice.” Dongmin didn't miss Jinwoo's glare directed at him, and he was struggling to redeem himself. “It will help find someone that you love enough to keep your mind off of Myungjun.”
And that was actually sound advice. Perhaps it was the lack of romance in Jinwoo's life that was making his mind stay completely focused on Myungjun. If he found someone to share happy moments with, perhaps he wouldn't linger in the sad moments, or the unsettling moments, or the Myungjun moments.
He made up his mind and hurried home after his shift was up, ignoring Myungjun's obnoxious smile and wave. He also ignored Minhyuk's exclamation of, “I've never seen you move so fast!” in order to quickly log into his computer and find the dating site Dongmin had mentioned.
There was a small monthly fee, but newcomers were able to have the first month free. Jinwoo decided he was a handsome enough catch that he would probably only need it for the first month, anyway.
But before he uploaded a profile picture, he paused. A bunch of weirdos probably loitered around these websites. Was he really comfortable putting up what he looked like?
And for that matter, what of his name? Surely that wasn't safe, either, was it?
Jinwoo thought about canceling the entire process, but then Myungjun came back to the forefront of his mind. The only way to stop thinking of him was to have someone else to think about.
He would have to do this, one way or another.
His name was backspaced completely, replaced with a childhood nickname his mom had given to him: Jinjin. And his profile picture was simply the default image, a shadowed figure in front of a red background.
That would never draw him any sort of attention, however, and he struggled to make his bio as interesting as possible to allow others the chance to actually know him. If they couldn't see his face or his name, at least they could discover his personality. And surely he would want a partner based on personality, so others should be the same way.
Profile complete, Jinwoo sat back from his laptop and stared at his page in satisfaction. Vague enough so no one would be aware it was actually him, yet detailed enough to reel in someone looking for a sweet romance. He liked it, and he was already excited to find his match made in heaven.
Except none of them were coming. A few people contacted him, but each one was the exact same question: can I see a picture of you?
Jinwoo refused all of those requests, and the other online users never spoke to him again.
Jinwoo did a bit of browsing, but it was the same story; he would contact others himself, and they would ignore his profile because of the lack of image.
It was frustrating, and as weeks went on and his month was coming to a close, Jinwoo realized it might not be for him. He could find a partner elsewhere, and on his final day, he logged on to delete and cancel his account.
But there was a new message in his inbox, something that had been very sparse throughout the existence of his dating profile, and with baited breath, Jinwoo opened it.
im happy you like large dogs bc i do too, the message read. Also can you REALLY beatbox or is that just embellishment for the bio??
He stared at the question in confusion, then checked the profile of the sender. To his shock, there was a default image and the name MJ, clearly some sort of nickname as well.
Suddenly, Jinwoo realized he had a chance with this guy. They could start out not knowing names or faces and come to actually get along quite well. Perhaps this whole dating idea wasn't as ridiculous as it had been looking to be.
i can beatbox, he wrote back, a smile coming onto his face. One day you will hear it.
His mood was raised a considerable amount since MJ first reached out to him. Hardly a moment went by when he wasn't checking his phone for some sort of new message. Despite never once seeing MJ's face, he had learned a lot about the guy; he was two years older than Jinwoo, he liked telling lame jokes and hearing other people laugh, he was positive about life, he wanted to become a singer one day, and he wanted their first date to be a Lord of the Rings marathon at his apartment. i will supply the movies and you will supply the snacks, he had texted, and Jinwoo couldn't help the excitement that coursed through his body at the thought of meeting MJ. He was already falling head-over-heels for someone with such a bright personality, and it certainly helped to keep his mind off of school and work.
“And I'm assuming you don't think about Myungjun as much, do you?” Dongmin had asked as Jinwoo gushed to him one day about how amazing MJ was. “Now that you have this other guy.”
“Oh, I still want to punch Myungjun in the face, but I don't want to use as much force behind my punch. See, if Myungjun was just as sweet and perfect as MJ was, I'd probably like him a little bit more.”
Dongmin nodded his head and called out a name for the order he had just filled. When the customer had collected their coffee, he looked back at Jinwoo. “Have you guys even exchanged pictures yet?”
“Nope.”
“Then how do you know you might like him? What if he's really, really ugly?”
“No one this perfect can be anything but handsome,” Jinwoo swooned, and called the next customer up for their order.
They hadn't even described themselves to each other. MJ once made a comment of, i'm going to bet that you'll look the best out of the two of us jinjin, and Jinwoo had always made it clear that he knew MJ would look amazing, but neither of them seemed to want to break any sort of anonymity they had. Jinwoo realized that there was something exciting in the unknown; despite how well he felt he knew MJ, the mysterious portion of their relationship seemed to intrigue the both of them.
As time went on, their talks became a mixture of sweet and serious. They had become comfortable enough with each other to spill secrets.
I used to be in love with one of my employees, MJ had mentioned one night, and Jinwoo felt a rise of jealousy surge up in his chest. He has the sweetest smile and his eyes sparkle and he was really cute.
What happened? Jinwoo didn't want to hear much about MJ's previous love experience, but if this was going to be an actual, serious relationship, he supposed he had best figure out if there had been other affections in the past.
He hates me, came the response. I don't blame him. I didn't know how to treat him at first and I was so nervous so I just was a jerk to him. Now that I've met you, though, I'm not thinking about him as much. You're making me fall in love with you, Jinjin ≧◡≦ .
At least MJ had made some of the jealousy disappear, and he smiled fondly at the message on his phone. He didn't even know how to respond, save for the onslaught of heart emojis, because how was he supposed to tell someone he had never seen that he felt the exact same way?
His own confession didn't come until later. i started my dating profile to get my mind off of one of my coworkers too, he wrote. At first i thought he had such a nice smile but he's just so mean so now i hate him. he laughs at me all the time when I mess up and lets customers berate me and doesnt stop them.
The response came quickly: he sounds like a jerk. Do you need me to go teach him a lesson????
haha no, but thanks mj <3
He was careful not to hand out any real names or descriptions. Last thing he needed was for MJ to actually know who he was referring to, by some off-chance, and thus ruin the secrecy of their lives for each other.
Besides that, it didn't even matter too much at this point. Jinwoo was so happy with MJ that he was able to ignore the majority of Myungjun's arrogance.
Either that, or Myungjun had loosened up a considerable amount, which was actually something that Jinwoo found himself curious about.
Myungjun hardly looked at him anymore these days. And when he did, it was usually a passing glance, a quick look-over when he was seeking out another employee. It made Jinwoo's life easier, that was for certain, but it wasn't something he expected to happen. Did Myungjun just give up on making his life miserable?
“Maybe he was in love with you the entire time and found someone else all of a sudden,” Minhyuk not-so-helpfully mumbled, and Jinwoo was so close to smacking him.
“Ew. Why would he act like a jerk if he was in love with me?”
“Maybe that was the only way he knew how to act?”
And it sounded familiar and actually a little bit interesting, considering that MJ had admitted to doing something similar. However, Jinwoo brushed off that theory rather quickly, knowing full well that Myungjun was never nervous or appeared to treat him with any sort of special affection. Myungjun was just a jerk through and through; MJ was probably shy around his crush, and Jinwoo actually had no idea why his idiot employee wouldn't love MJ back.
It was just as well, however, because that left MJ all for Jinwoo.
Jinwoo woke up to a very cheerful text from MJ: can we meet??? I really want to see you jinjin and I want us to have our first date!
It had been a few months since they had started up their first conversation, and Jinwoo realized how weird it was to call MJ something similar to a boyfriend and yet have no idea how to describe him physically. All of his friends thought it was weird, in any case, and Minhyuk definitely thought it was weird.
So Jinwoo agreed, his heart racing at the thought of finally being able to lay eyes on the one man who had managed to steal all of his time and energy completely.
They made plans for three days. Jinwoo had to request the evening off of work, to which Myungjun groaned and complained and generally acted obnoxious, as per usual. “I had stuff to do!” he grumbled the moment Jinwoo brought it up. “And I can't cancel my plans!”
Jinwoo bit his lip. The room was small and stuffy and littered with paper and sticky notes. Jinwoo tried reading one upside down, but was only able to catch a few numbers. Myungjun must be busy, sure, but it didn't mean he had to throw a fit the moment Jinwoo asked for a break. “Maybe one of the other guys can run my shift?” Jinwoo suggested, looking up from the paper.
“Most of them are already working overtime.” Myungjun was pouting, and Jinwoo felt taken back. He didn't like Myungjun pouting. He believed it was because Myungjun was an adult and should act like an adult, but there was something oddly endearing with such a sad face.
Jinwoo screwed up his nose and shuffled his feet. “They can take over for me this week, and next week I can work the overtime so it'll even out.”
“That's not how overtime works.”
Jinwoo felt like an idiot. “Please?” he begged, resorting to meeting Myungjun's gaze and actually humbling himself. “I'll do anything! This night – it's going to be really important to me.”
“And so is my evening.” Myungjun ran his fingers through his brown hair and leaned back. “I'll ask that new kid, Sanha,” he finally mumbled. “It all depends on what he says, though. I'm not sure if he's confident enough to actually do it, but if he agrees, then you can have the day off.” Already Myungjun was picking up the office phone and dialing Sanha's number.
Jinwoo was ecstatic, especially when word came that Sanha actually agreed to take over for Jinwoo. He didn't know why Myungjun couldn't just do it himself (surely he should know by now that being a manager entailed taking over for his employees, shouldn't he?), but none of that mattered when he had the go-ahead to continue forth with his date.
He texted MJ excitedly that he couldn't wait, and MJ texted back cheesy lines and dumb emojis.
Since you dont have a car and it'll take too long to get to my place by bus, MJ texted the day before, how about I just come pick you up? I'm getting off work early for this and you might be on my route home. It will be easier that way.
It would be, especially when they learned that MJ's work was actually very close by to Jinwoo's apartment. That just meant that Jinwoo would be seeing MJ a lot sooner than he thought. It was nerve-wracking, and Jinwoo went through just about every single outfit he owned before finally getting one that earned both his and Minhyuk's approval.
He finished fixing his hair right as the doorbell rang, and Minhyuk shot him a wide grin. “This is it!” he exclaimed. “How excited are you?”
“More nervous,” was all that Jinwoo was able to respond with, due to his heart hammering hard enough to actually escape from his chest. He took a few deep breaths and then opened the door-
-and there was Myungjun.
They stared at each other for a few seconds. Myungjun's eyes widened first, and he pointed a finger at Jinwoo. “What are you doing here?” he questioned.
“Me? I live here. What about you?”
Myungjun blinked and lowered his arm. “He did mention a roommate,” he muttered, mostly to himself, and then cleared his throat. “I guess – this is weird. I didn't realize you were his roommate.”
“Who? Minhyuk?” Minhyuk had never mentioned that he knew Myungjun, but perhaps they had met somewhere. That was worrisome, however, because Minhyuk knew how terrible of a person Myungjun was, so why would they be involved?
“I...don't know his name.” Myungjun cleared his throat again and lowered his gaze, not quite meeting Jinwoo's questioning stare. “We met online. He calls himself Jinjin.”
It made sense.
And it didn't make sense.
Myungjun was MJ.
Myungjun was the person that Jinwoo had managed to fall in love with. Myungjun was the person who heard Jinwoo's secrets, from the self-conscious thoughts about the mole on his neck to the sweet nothings they would text each other late at night.
It was all Myungjun.
Myungjun was the person who would make Jinwoo laugh harder than anyone could before. Myungjun was the person who spilled all of his own secrets and told lame jokes and adored every inch, every centimeter, of Jinwoo's being.
It was Myungjun. And Myungjun was MJ.
Myungjun seemed to notice Jinwoo's horrified expression, and he tilted his head in confusion. “Are you okay, Jinwoo?”
Jinwoo didn't want to tell Myungjun. He wanted to pretend this never happened and quit his job and cut off all contact with everybody. But the words came out before he could stop them: “Jinjin.”
“What?”
“You're MJ.”
Myungjun stared.
“And I'm Jinjin.”
Myungjun stumbled backwards as he, too, finally seemed to grasp an understanding of the entire situation. Hands flew up to cover his mouth and his brown eyes seemed as large as dinner plates. “Oh my god!” he exclaimed, then he shook his head. “You're Jinjin?”
Jinwoo nodded slowly in confirmation. He felt humiliated. He had been flirting with his boss the entire time.
And his boss had been flirting with him this entire time.
Myungjun had the exact same thoughts, it looked like, because he was suddenly burying his face right into the palms of his hands. “Oh my god!” he repeated. “Oh my god, I didn't even think about this, this is the worst!”
Jinwoo silently agreed, though he felt a bit upset that Myungjun equated being infatuated with him as the worst. Or perhaps Myungjun was referring to the entire situation.
In which case, yes, it was the worst to go from falling in love with MJ to actually having been falling in love with his jerk-of-a-boss the entire time.
Jinwoo was going to quit, for sure, and move to a different country. He heard Canada was nice.
“Are you sure you're Jinjin?”
Jinwoo wished, at that moment, that he was anyone other than Jinjin. “Yes,” he quietly responded, eyes downcast.
MJ was all a dream, then. MJ was fake. Myungjun had somehow managed to play the role of a sweet, friendly boy perfectly well.
Jinwoo added that to the list of things to hate Myungjun for, and he grabbed the doorknob of the door suddenly. “I'm calling off our date,” he announced. “Sorry, I thought I was dating MJ, not Myungjun. I just...I have stuff to do. Sorry.”
Before he closed the door, he heard Myungjun say, “Wait, Jinwoo-!” But he didn't open it back up or ask what Myungjun wanted. Instead, he leaned his forehead up against the wooden door, waiting until he heard Myungjun's footsteps take him away in the distance to sigh loudly.
From the other room, Minhyuk poked a head out and stared. “That sounded awkward.”
“Go die, Minhyuk.”
As it was, Jinwoo couldn't outright quit. He needed the money, after all, and while he was already searching for a new job, the current state of the economy forced him to return the very next day for his nightly shift.
The shift that Myungjun was in charge of.
“Just keep your head down,” Dongmin advised, slapping the usual uniform cap on Jinwoo's head. “I still think this is ironic, though, that Myungjun was using the exact same dating website you used and he was probably the only other person who used an alias.”
“I don't need commentary about it, Dongmin. I was there. I know what happened.”
“Alright.” Dongmin was smiling. “But you guys got along so well in text messaging. Maybe you should try actually dating Myungjun to see what happens.”
“I don't want Myungjun. I want MJ.”
And Dongmin patted his back. “They're the same person.”
It was true. As much as Jinwoo tried to tell himself it wasn't true, it was the truth. Myungjun was MJ. Perhaps MJ was a lesser-shown side of Kim Myungjun, but they were one and the same. That's what made it unbearable, too, and when Myungjun showed up, their eyes met for a good second before the older boy blushed deeply, small red spots congregating on his tanned skin.
It was endearing.
Jinwoo hated it.
They hardly made contact after that. Myungjun had to work on the floor with Jinwoo and Dongmin, and while he made light conversation with customers and Dongmin himself, he seemed to be pretending that Jinwoo didn't even exist.
Jinwoo hated that, too.
In fact, Jinwoo found himself hating everything Myungjun did simply because it was also MJ. He liked MJ, and now he was noticing MJ's quirks on Myungjun. He noticed the bright attitude towards the customers. He noticed the fast-paced speech. He noticed the laughter and the dimples on his cheeks and the wide smile and the sudden lame, stupid joke he told that actually made Jinwoo snort in laughter simply because that was all MJ.
Myungjun actually looked at him when Jinwoo gave that reaction, a half-smile playing on his lips, as if waiting for confirmation that it would be okay to continue trying to make Jinwoo laugh.
Jinwoo didn't look away in time, so Myungjun continued. “Hey, Dongmin?” Myungjun picked up a stray coffee bean and showed it off to the boy before asking, “How have you bean?”
Myungjun then quickly glanced at Jinwoo for a reaction (and Myungjun completely ignored Dongmin's eye-roll).
Jinwoo was grinning behind his hand.
God, he hated Kim Myungjun. He hated him so much that he loved him.
“I'm not upset it was you,” Myungjun mused as he walked down the sidewalk with Jinwoo. They had agreed to head to a convenience store for a quick dinner and talk before parting ways. Jinwoo wanted to know if parting ways after this would be temporary or permanent. He wanted to settle his feelings on having been flirting with his shift manager for months. If he left, fine. If he stayed, even more fine. “In fact, I'm a little happy it was you. I mean, I was shocked, but I've always thought you were cute.”
Jinwoo was glad it was dark out because the lack of lights hid his blushing.
“I was really shocked,” Myungjun continued. “And then I went home and I got no sleep. Mostly because I couldn't text Jinjin, I think.” Myungjun was grinning, his lips stretched across his face.
Myungjun was just as endearing as MJ was, Jinwoo realized.
“But also because I realized that...you complained about your manager a lot. Like, seriously, you had issues with your manager. And I hated your manager, too, for making your life so miserable.” Myungjun scratched at his cheek and gave a small laugh. “That was me, wasn't it?”
“Ah.” Jinwoo cleared his throat. “Will I get fired if I say yes?”
“Nope.” Myungjun shrugged his shoulders. “I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know if you remember – ah, god, remember I told you I was in love with one of my employees? And I was a jerk to him because I had no clue what to do about loving a coworker?”
Jinwoo suddenly found that he did remember, and his heart hammered as he glanced over at Myungjun. “Was it me?”
Myungjun nodded his head, awkwardly, quietly, and turned his gaze to face in front of him again. “I didn't think I was being a jerk. I'm sorry I laughed when you messed up. It was so cute, I thought, and I didn't really want to engage with you more than necessary. I always asked Dongmin to tell you stuff, and then you'd mess up and I didn't know what to do, so I laughed. Truth be told, I don't think I'm a very good manager.”
Jinwoo didn't know how to respond to that.
“But I was okay to everyone else. Just...not to you.”
“I thought you hated my guts.”
“Nah. The opposite. Obviously I treat people I think are cute like crap. That's how love works, isn't it?” Myungjun laughed nervously and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So I get it if you don't want to continue anything. I know this is weird. I'm sorry.”
Jinwoo saw the store up ahead. “You don't have to apologize.”
“I do. Don't say I don't.”
“Then I forgive you, if you think you really have to.”
Myungjun gave a sigh of relief, and Jinwoo looked over at him with a soft smile. “So, uh, now what?” he asked. “Are we going to pretend nothing ever happened?”
“Do you want to?”
Myungjun shook his head fervently, and Jinwoo laughed loudly, hiding his own grin behind his hands. His laughter seemed contagious, because Myungjun was smiling widely once more. “Do you want to pretend it never happened?” Myungjun asked.
“Like hell I would. I...I was happiest when we were texting.”
He knew Myungjun could totally see the blush on his cheeks now, but he didn't care, not when Myungjun had stopped and was giggling and staring right into his eyes. “I was, too. I really, really liked Jinjin. And, by default, I really, really like Jinwoo. Man, I'm going to have to thank Dongmin for setting the dating account up for me.”
Jinwoo had been smiling until Dongmin's name was brought up. “Wait – he set it up for you, too?”
Their first date wasn't spent watching Lord of the Rings movies and snuggling as Myungjun had wanted, but making plans to ruin Dongmin's life was just as fun.
Their second date was better, though, Jinwoo had to admit.
It was the second date together when Jinwoo decided that he loved Kim Myungjun.