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They trudged along the moist sand that crunched beneath their leather shoes. Simon’s step a little smaller than usual and not just because of Toby who limped along beside him at much more uneven pace. Simon's eyes were a little red and shined raw; he looked like he hadn't slept in days. Toby, struggled in a more awkward way to keep in step with Simon. Neither of them said anything, the wind gusts hit them, roaring softly in their ears and tossing their hair around their heads. Finally Simon stopped and turned to face Toby. Simon smiled and looked into Toby's face, the one he was still getting used too.
"I'm so proud of you Toby".
"I had loads of help from you and Veronica..."
"I don't mean just about this, I mean about everything. Look at you for Christ's sake!" Toby looked down at himself, the vast difference in the body he used to have and the person he used to be. The one who people always described as handsome and beautiful and charming. He had parts of himself missing and thin scarred lines all over his aching body.
"Simon, I only survived, that's no great feat".
"Of course it is! There are thousands of people who got involved in this war and didn't survive. "
“I only did what I had to do."
“Exactly. You’re Toby. And that's just... Aggghhh!" He rubbed his temples with his fingers
"What Simon? What is it that you want to say?"
Simon stopped rubbing and looked up with a tired face and bright eyes.
"Be careful, please? For me?"
Toby smiled at Simon, a simple smile. He never was very good at telling Toby the all-out truth but that was alright, because Toby could read it in his face anyway. Simon was stressed, that was obvious, but he was also thrilled. He had shaved the night before, he also had put a little too much after shave which meant he was nervous. What exactly was he nervous for though, the plan didn't seem like the only thing.
Toby nodded his head at his lifelong friend, understanding that Simon had so much more to say but never knew how to put it into words. "Alright Simon, I will." Toby's lips gave a reassuring smile, his dimples added some extra levity to the situation, something that hadn't changed. "I should probably finish the final preparations now than", Toby clumsily motioned towards the parked plane on the sandy grass.
Simon breathed in the salty air and admired Toby's beauty, filling in his face in his mind with what it used to look like. His smile was the same as always though. "I suppose you should, yes".
Toby nodded again, and the two young men looked at each other long and hard. Toby remembered the desperation he felt when he hit the ground after his plane crashed, just wanting to see Simon one more time and have him there with him. He thought of his family too but Simon was part of that family.
Simon bit his lip while looking at Toby, something he used to do often after Toby suggested they go off to somewhere in secret.
"Well I must leave." Toby sighed, tucking the quick memory away for his last moments, or his return.
"Toby?" Simon asked as he grasped onto the cuff of Toby's sleeve and pulled him close, quickly spinning him to face him so he could kiss him. Toby gave a small gasp as their lips met. He gave in without a fight, sunk into the gesture. He never expected to be able to do this again, he had figured what he and Simon had had was finished for good a long time ago. Simon's lips cushioned Toby's while pricking them with his rough stubble. It was a small and gentle kiss that was there for all their friends to see but the moment was just for them. Toby knew that this was Simon's way of saying everything he didn't know how to, and it spoke volumes. Simon moved his hand from Toby's cuff, up his arm and around the small of his back while placing the other on Toby's scarred cheek. The smell of Simon's aftershave relaxed all of Toby's muscles and he leaned into Simon for some support and because he wanted to be as close to his friend as possible. Their lips were warm and tender while their faces were chilled and salty from the sea breeze. Toby pulled away, gently biting Simon's lip the way Simon always did to himself.
“I’ll be back".