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I’ve had an entire bottle of wine. My friend, Andrew, wanted to celebrate his birthday early, so I drove to the store, grabbing three bottles of chardonnay that were on sale and was going to call it a night. It’s a good thing that I also picked up some crackers, cheese, and meat because the room is spinning and I can’t seem to sit still.
We’ve only been in his living room for an hour and already he’s trying to put on a movie. Chardonnay always gets him in the mood to watch trashy romantic comedies, which means I have to grin and bear Bridget Jones's Diary for the tenth time. I would have never even seen the movie had I not known Andrew, but I couldn’t live without him.
Speaking of the drunk asshole, he giggled and did that stupid hopping he does when he’s excited. Damn, I was hoping the dvd player was busted again. “Are you ready, Amie?!” His voice was way too loud for his tiny apartment.
“Sure.” I shrug and gave him a grin, I think. It’s hard to tell when your face feels stiff and hot.
He sits down next to me as the previews start to play and snuggles up to me and takes a chug from his wine bottle. We didn’t even bother with wine glasses. Our excuse being that it was less dishes to take care of. I nibble on a few crackers and brie as I relax. I look down at the man leaning against me. He looked so content, with a dopey smile on his face and an oversized sweater hiding his small body.
How long has it been now? We’ve been together since we were little, I almost want to say since daycare but it feels longer. He’s always been there, by my side, since day one. My heavy mind reeled back to that memory: I was about four, and in that stupid dress my mom made me wear. I was not happy and the sun seemed to shine on my face no matter where I stood, making my scowl scrunch up even more. I was being a little sourpuss when I suddenly hear crying. That’s when I noticed little Andrew, bawling his eyes out and rubbing his snotty nose all over his Elmo shirt sleeve. I remember walking over to him and telling him to stop crying. But he glared at me and told me no, because the bullies took his My Little Pony toys and he had every right to be upset. I don’t know what made me help the kid I hardly knew at the time, but I made Jessica Koltz and her friends beg for mercy when I beat the crap out of them to get those stupid pastel ponies back. Anything to make the kid stop crying. I was sent home, of course, but Andrew was glued to my side ever since.
I was lost in my thoughts for too long because I felt a shift and noticed Andrew big brown eyes staring back at me. The movie continued to play, but we stared at each other for what felt like hours. I couldn’t help it. It was an intense stare I was receiving.
That’s when I felt soft lips press against mine. I blinked and my words were muffled by the sudden kiss. It was chaste and gentle, and when he pulled back I felt the lingering sense of Andrew’s skin on mine. My face turned red from embarrassment.
“Um… Andrew?” Whatever spell he was under broke that instant. He pouted and snuggled into my side, like he always did when he was upset. “Hey, buddy…” I card my fingers into his sandy locks, wondering what made him so upset so quickly. The guy was bipolar, I swear. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you having fun?”
“Why can’t you be a boy?”
The muffled response was the last thing I expected. My heart felt heavy as I felt little wet spots form on my shirt. Andrew was a sensitive man, but over the years he has gained more strength and confidence so he wouldn’t be so bothered by the day to day prejudice he suffers. When he cries in front of you, it’s serious. My hand continued to card my hand through his hair as I thought of what to say. “Because I was born with a vagina, you goober.” I laughed gently. He gave a soft chuckle but gripped my shirt tighter. I continued. “Andy, I still love you, buddy. If you got a little straight crush on me, it’s okay.” He seemed to relax his hold, but I could still hear him sniffling. This hasn’t been the first time he confessed his feelings to me in a drunk state. Yet in the morning he would pretend he didn’t remember and then go on Grindr to hook up with some dude less than ten miles away.
“I love you too, Amie.” He mumbled and hugged me around my waist. He was laid out on the couch and putting most of his weight on me. “Please don’t leave me.”
I smiled warmly down on him, even if he couldn’t see me. “I would never do that.”
He looked up with those watery puppy dog eyes of his. “That’s what Travis said…”
“Honey, I’m not Travis. Travis is an incompetent douchebag that deserves an ass kicking for leaving you the way he did. Preferably from me.”
His grin slowly started to creep up his face, and he pressed his cheek to my breast and started to watch the movie again. It was about half way through the film when I started to hear snoring and I sighed.
We went past the threshold of friendship a long time ago. I wouldn’t say we were lovers or anything, but we definitely couldn’t live without each other. Perhaps in a different life I could be a boy, not an asexual tomboy often mistaken for one, and give him the love life he deserves. But for now, we can cuddle in comfort, getting drunk off wine, and watching Renee Zellweger’s performance as a British woman failed attempts at be sexy and sly.
Right now, everything was going to be okay.