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Gojo Satoru’s Sunset
—
I find him bleeding in an alleyway. I always find him. He’s the only one I see.
“Suguru,” I say. “Any last words?”
I look down at him, my expression flat. The sunset casts his lashes amber.
I don’t want him to suffer anymore.
“I hate the monkeys so much,” he gasps. His head lolls to the side. “In a world like this… I’ll never laugh from my heart.”
“Suguru.”
He takes a breath and looks at me. Blood drips down his chin. His eyes, once full of warmth, are so, so dull. His expression, god help me, is always so pleasant. Even now. Even when he’s fading.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
My entire world is fading away.
“Suguru,” I say again. I kneel. “…I love you.”
He’s silent.
Then he laughs.
It’s a soft sound. Gentle. It makes my chest clench. The look on his face is something I haven’t seen since I was seventeen. For a moment, I see light in his eyes again. I wonder if I’ve gone insane. I wonder if I’ve hallucinated for ten years. I wonder if it’s really 1998, and Suguru is smiling at me, and I’m annoying him like I do.
The corners of my mouth twitch.
He coughs hard. Red drips down his lips. It brings me back to reality.
My chest squeezes so hard I gasp. I crawl closer. My hands are shaking.
“Sa-…Satoru…” His voice is breathy.
“Suguru,” I answer. I hold his face.
He smiles at me.
His eyes flutter, and close, like he’s fighting a losing battle. He opens his mouth. No sound comes out.
My entire world is dying.
I kiss him.
My face is wet when I pull away. I don’t know when I started crying.
When I leave, the sky is dark. I trip, and I fall, and I get up again. My knees are numb from kneeling. I don’t look back. I can’t.
My world has gone black.
—
Geto Suguru’s Night
—
I know it’s him when I hear those footsteps. The way his steps fall, the way the gravel crunches beneath his shoes.
“Any last words?” His voice comes through my fading senses.
I look up. Everything is blurry. I see the shine of sky blue underneath a mess of white.
I used to tease him about going white so early.
I take a breath. It’s shallow. “I’ll never forgive them…” I gasp. My lungs ache. “Not after what they’ve done. I’ll never laugh from my heart in this reality. Not again.” I miss when I was young and innocent and so believing in good.
“Suguru.” His voice rings out.
I wonder if he’s listening to me at all.
I smile a little. He still says my name like that.
“I love you.”
I blink, and suddenly, he’s in front of me. His hands are coming to cup my face. His throat moves, his eyebrows are furrowed, his blue, blue eyes filled with tears. For a moment, I feel seventeen. I’m in my dorm, patting a crying Satoru. He just got rejected by a particularly pretty girl. I’m telling him it’s okay. I’m telling him he’s too good, anyway.
Something in my chest loosens.
I chuckle.
His mouth twitches. Tears are running down his cheeks. He probably doesn’t even know he’s crying.
I cough up blood.
His eyes widen abruptly.
“Satoru,” I breathe out.
His thumb strokes my cheek. He says my name.
I love you, I want to say.
He kisses me.
—