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Oikawa's reflection in the mirror was struggling to keep up his usual smile. If the words, “sorry, but I don’t like you” weren’t echoing inside of his head, his smile probably would have looked a lot better. More charming, he thought wistfully to himself. But not today. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do it. Today was different. He didn’t understand why he had been rejected. He had always smiled, remembering to treat everyone around him nicely, just like Iwa-chan had always reminded. What had gone wrong? How could he not be loved? Yet, people only pretended to like him when he was around. Words such as “fake” and “disgusting” were whispers that he often heard, even though he wasn't. Or so he had thought. Grabbing the thing closest to him, a comb, he hurled it towards the mirror, and a thin crack appeared. He then closed his eyes, and recalled the moment for the hundredth time.
~
“EEhhhh? Asskawa, what are you talking about? It’s just that, you're too… you know what, never mind. We…we're better off being friends, right?”
His mind had gone blank, the only thing he could do is blink. When he finally found a chance to confess to his childhood friend, this happens?
“Oi, oi…Are you mad…Are you, are you crying??”
He had blinked a few more times. Then, he heard herself saying, “Oh. Hahaha~ I fooled ya! I was joking, Iwa-chan! Of course we're better off like this...” he looked down, and had seen his
reflection in the puddle of water next to him. His eyes were red from trying to hold back his tears. A green frog jumps in the muddy puddle, and his reflection ripples, and disappears. The
last two words were mere whispers, trying to make amends.
“My friend.”
Before running.
Running far, far away.
~
“You’re too… you know what, never mind” What was he going to say? Was Oikawa not good enough? Was he too boring? Playful? Innocent? Fine. He’ll change. He’ll destroy his ‘playful’ reflection.
~
The next day, it is pouring outside, and the water makes Oikawa's brown hair wet and icy. He ignores the tingling in his scalp, the first thing he does is arrive late to class and slam his wet shoe onto his assigned table, saying that he doesn’t feel like sitting down. Students around him move away unconsciously and the teacher, too surprised at his sudden change of personality, can only nod. Not paying attention to class at all, he looks at the dark and stormy clouds outside and listens to the pitter-patter of the rain. Seeing his somewhat blurry reflection in the glass, he quickly turns his head the opposite direction.
After class ends, he picks up the person closest to him and flings him out of his way, hissing with discomfort. He has to change. It's all for Iwa-chan, he thinks. He quickly learns how to make effective threats and what expressions he should use at what time. I've changed, he thought to himself, but why is everyone backing away from me even more? Now, the words Oikawa hears behind his back are “mentally unstable” and “anger issues”. Desperate to fix the situation he put himself in, he opts for a new personality.
~
“You’re too… you know what, never mind” What was he going to say? Too boring? Innocent? Fine. He'll change. He’ll destroy his ‘innocent’ reflection as well. The next time he looks into his mirror, he notices that the crack has gotten bigger, making it harder to see what is supposed to be reflected. He wears a black dress shirt with the arms ripped off with a piercing on his lip. Using his mom's eyeliner, he draws it on so thick it looks like its been drawn with permanent marker.
And it remains permanent.
The words he hears now are “disgusting” and “ugly”. Why isn’t anything working? The last icy wall his personality built has shattered, and from the shattered pieces he can see his own reflection, lost in the shattered glass, almost unrecognizable. The only thing he can whisper is, “why?”.
Running out of options, he locks away his memories of Iwaizumi, vowing to himself that he will never think about him ever again. To forget him completely. He then tries to be the person he once was, smiling and laughing every day. But even if Oikawa has changed, others around him still remember. No matter what he does, he will always be remembered by what he has done, not what he was doing now. Trying to protect himself, new personalities bloom from within him like spring flowers. A new personality every once a while turns to a new one every week, turning to every single day. Behaving like somebody he isn’t, ‘protecting’ hinself. Each day, his reflection in his mirror changes just a little. And the crack in his mirror gets bigger.
Slowly.
Nobody knows what to do with him, for he has made himself unapproachable. Not even his once friend, Iwaizumi.
So many personalities, all in love with somebody he seems to have forgotten, almost causes him to reach out and unlock the memories and remember who it was, even when he had vowed to himself not to. Soon, the tenants inside of him fight over the control of his body, desperately trying to gain possession. Looking at his cracked reflection again, he only sees hints of who he was before. His eyes are still red from crying, and he thinks over and over again, ‘I never asked for this’. As salty tears stream down his face, he tries to force himself to smile once more, but realizes that he has forgotten how to. His personalities have not only multiplied, but also melted together into somesort of undecipherable mess.
His reflection is now beyond his control.
Now, looking in the broken mirror, he sees so many faces but he can’t even tell which face was his original or even recognize himself anymore. Placing his hands over the cracks in the mirror, he closes his eyes and wishes with all his might that things could go back as they were before.
The mirror responds by shattering into thousands of pieces, making it so that he will never see his reflection ever again.