Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Steven awoke to the sound of bickering. He looked over to the kitchen to find Garnet and Pearl arguing. Pearl had a sour expression in her face, her arms crossed over her chest. Curious as to what was happening, Steven tiptoed out of bed and slowly moved closer to Garnet and Pearl. Still unable to understand anything they were saying, Steven decided it would be best to just ask. He rubbed his eyes and asked, "What's going on?"

"Steven!" Pearl responded in a soft, kind maternal voice, her expression softening. Garnet turned around to face Steven.

"How'd you sleep?" Pearl asked.
"I slept fine. Why were you two fighting?" Steven repeated. A panicked look was exchanged between Garnet and Pearl. Garnet replied, "We were deciding if we should let you come on our next mission. Pearl believes it might be too dangerous and it would be best if you were to stay put. I believe you deserve to have every opportunity to learn and fight for you planet."

Pearl's pale peach complexion turned tomato red, as if she was embarrassed that she didn't think Steven was capable of going on this mission. She averted eye contact and stared at the ground. Her foot tapped against the stone.

"Oh. What mission?" Steven asked.
"We recently discover-," Garnet began to speak, but Pearl interrupted.
"Uh, Garnet? Wouldn't it be best if we completed our discussion before informing him?"

Garnet begrudgingly agreed and the two left the room, leaving Steven alone. He walked towards the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab a waffle and some chocolate milk. He popped the waffle into the toaster and poured himself a glass of milk. Today, he had no plans. This was a common occurrence. Steven was a spontaneous, curious and slightly impulsive person. He rarely ever planned for anything to happen.

Ring!Ring!

Steven's phone rang, startling him. He picked it up, knowing it is either his father, Greg or his closest friend, Connie. No one else ever called him, except for the angry librarian informing him that libraries were not free book stores.
"Steven!" Connie exclaimed.
"Connie!" Steven yelled in response.
"I was hoping I could come over for an extra sword practice," Connie said.
"Yeah. But, um-," Steven began.
"Great! I'll be over in half an hour," Connie told Steven before hanging up the phone. He sighed and took his quickly ate his waffle. Steven sunk into his couch, anxiously awaiting Connie's arrival. As if on queue, Steven's door swung open to the eager and grinning face of Connie Maheshwaran.

Connie had hair the color of hot chocolate and chestnut brown eyes. Her face always looked kind, as if she understood every thought, every event that had ever happened. Today, she wore a summery yellow sundress and a long fishtail braid. She was grinning at Steven.

"Steven!" She yelled.
"Connie!" Steven yelled in response.
"Where's Pearl?" Connie asked as she realized her fighting instructor was missing from the room.
"Pearl and Garnet are discussing a mission."
"Ooh. What mission?"
"I don't know."
"Oh. Well, maybe Amethyst could teach us?" Connie offered. Steven nodded and went off to retrieve Amethyst. Connie stared at the wall as she waited. Everything the Crystal Gems owned felt regal to her, as if it belonged to a queen. Even their grimy stone walls looked enchanting. It was so different from the mundane interior of the Masheshwaran household. Steven returned with Amethyst by his side.
Steven signaled for Connie to join him on the warp pad. They were transported to the arena. Faded beige brick stands circled the arena. Being in the arena always felt overwhelming, as if something significant and important were about to happen. Steven offered her Rose Quartz's scabbard and she pulled out the sword. It had a pale pink blade that shimmered in the blindingly bright sun.

"Alright. Today, you don't get Holo-Pearl. You're going to fight me!" Amethyst yelled, puffing out her chest and smiling. Unsure of this idea, Connie and Steven exchanged a concerned glance. Steven shrugged and nodded.
"Okay," Steven agreed. Amethyst swung her whip around, preparing for the fight. Connie got into her fighting stance, sticking her sword out in front of her. Steven positioned himself in a way that made it easy to run towards Amethyst. The fight began.

Amethyst charged towards Connie, leaving a cloud of dust behind her. Connie used the side of her sword to jab Amethyst in the side, avoiding her vibrant violet gem. Steven sprinted towards Amethyst, putting up his bubble just before he collided with her. This knocked her backwards. Stumbling, Amethyst said, "Impressive, but is that all you've got?"

Then, Amethyst ran towards Connie, sending broken bricks from beneath her feet. Connie moved side ways, narrowly avoiding Amethyst. She chuckled to herself. Clearly embarrassed, Amethyst told the two of them, "Alright. That should end the lesson. Was it good?"
"It sufficed," Connie concluded, helping Amethyst up. They all stepped back on the warp pad and returned to the Temple. The sky was noticeably darker, the day dissolving into the night. Steven and Connie said their goodbyes just before Connie sprinted towards her house. Steven retired for the night, tired from the day's training.

Chapter Text

"Garnet, I just don't think it's a good idea," Pearl persisted.
"This was his mother. I fear you forget that we all cared for Rose. You, more than anyone should stay here during this mission. It might give him a chance to learn about his mother. We all know that he was deprived of her kindness. Perhaps this will allow him to know what she was like," Garnet replied.

Pearl had considered this. Steven had never seen Rose Quartz in the flesh. Never heard her calm, kind voice or been welcomed by her warm embrace. This mission might give him an opportunity to understand why everyone had loved Rose, why she was so significant in each gem's life. Pearl was still unsure, pondering whether Steven's happiness or safety should take priority.

"Pearl, I know you loved her. We all know how much you loved her and we know how much you hurt when she couldn't requite your love. It hurt even more when you had to take care of Steven, a constant reminder of what you lost. Over time, you grew to love Steven as if he was your own child. In many ways, he is. Think of him as if he is your own child. If you were to have met your own demise, leaving him to wonder what you were like, wouldn't you want him to know? Wouldn't you want him to have closure?"

Pearl thought about this. When Rose died, the most painful part was the obligation she felt to take care of Steven. It felt so surreal to suddenly not have Rose. She had the sort of presence that filled up entire rooms and the kind of contagious laugh that lit up entire rooms. Rose had always been there, she was always fighting for something, always loving someone. When she died, all of her dissolved away, leaving only memories. Pearl always knew that Rose would've wanted the Crystal Gems to raise Steven alongside Greg. Rose would've wanted Steven to have an abundance of family and love. Pearl couldn't help but wonder if Rose would've wanted Steven to go on this mission.

"I suppose you're correct," Pearl decided, ultimately agreeing with Garnet. Garnet nodded and spun around, walking away from Pearl. The room suddenly felt quiet and empty, as if all the life had been drained away. Tears welled up in Pearl's eyes, rolling down her cheek.

Pearl missed Rose more than she had missed anything before. Everything had lost its purpose after Rose died. Words were no use when she couldn't tell Rose how much she loved her. Everything that Pearl had done up to the death of Rose had been for Rose. Suddenly, Pearl felt incapable and unable to make her own decisions, to fight for her own reasons. Mourning for Rose was too painful, like a stab in the heart. To accept that she was gone made Pearl feel like a failure. She didn't protect Rose from her demise, she couldn't save Rose.