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The train’s rhythmic rocking back and forth as they travelled toward home was a comfort to Takano. He had always quite liked trains; their steady movements and noise. He liked the variety of people he would see on them. They could range from kids coming home or going to school, to businessmen wanting to try leaving their chauffeured car behind for a change. Sometimes he even met some of their authors in transit, one exciting evening he had even met the famous author Usami Akihiko. Trains were steady, constant and comforting. He enjoyed riding them. The warm body leaning against him helped too.
Onodera breathed softly out of parted lips. He was out for the count. Takano didn’t blame him, the younger man had been working extra hard over the past few weeks, barely stopping to eat never mind sleep. He had such drive in him, such determination to prove himself. He wanted to show he was worthy of his place at the publishing house, that he wasn’t there only because of his father.
Takano respected that deeply about him. But it was also a comfort to have his presence near, after so long.
Years Takano had spent searching for this man. Years he replayed those few memories over and over again, clinging to any and every conjuring he had of him. Their time together had been so short. He wished he had known, wished he knew he had been living on borrowed time, then perhaps he would have held him closer, kissed him longer, remembered the sound of his laugh, the smell of his hair, the feeling of his skin against his.
Then suddenly, he was back in his life again and Takano couldn’t believe it. Even more than that, his sweet, innocent, blushing little Ritsu had grown into a loud, argumentative, stubborn adult that instead of infuriating Takano, made him love him even more.
Though he could do with a little less of the stubbornness.
His thoughts were interrupted by the voice on the intercom announcing the next stop, which was theirs. He looked down at the still sleeping man, jerking his shoulder which he rested his cheek on gently to see of that would waken him.
“Hey, Onodera.”
The little snores continued.
“Onodera, wake up.”
Still, nothing. The train was empty save for one girl at the other end of the carriage engrossed in her phone. Takano gently shimmied out of Onodera’s weight and caught his body by the shoulders, hands gently shaking him in an attempt to wake him once more. All he did was mumble something then continue sleeping, head lolling to the side.
Takano sighed and pulled Onodera’s bag off him and strapped it around his own body. Being as gentle as he could, he pulled Onodera’s arms around his neck, turning his body and kneeling before him. He reached behind him and hooked those legs around his waist and stood, grunting a little at the weight.
He was actually surprised at how light Onodera was, just his coat and the two bags adding a slightly uncomfortable weight. He needed to eat more. Takano promised he would make sure to watch he ate at least one meal while at work, he wasn’t going to be able to keep going on like this; running on energy drinks and small, processed store food packs.
The train slowed and Takano shifted Onodera higher on his back, glancing to the girl, who was now smiling fondly at them, and stepped out onto the platform. He was grateful that they were the only ones getting off at this stop. He looked less than graceful at the moment.
“The things I do for you, Ritsu,” he mumbled out a complaint and started making his way to the exit.
Onodera was snoring softly by this point, his head falling forwards so his cheek rested against Takano’s ear. His soft hair tickling his skin slightly. Takano knew that if he woke up and found himself like this; carried home like a baby in his arms he would flip.
Takano let himself enjoy the warm body against his back, the walk home not as cold as it usually was, the steady breathing in his ear as comforting as the rhythm of the train. He chuckled and tightened his hold on the brunette’s thighs, hitching him up higher as gently as he could. Unconsciously, Onodera’s arms tightened their hold around his neck, falling to hang limp across his chest.
He could see their building now looming over them at the top of the shallow hill. When he reached the main door, Takano had never felt more grateful for automatic doors and lifts. Takano walked into the empty lift and cursed his luck after struggling to hold Onodera with one arm and press the button of their floor with the other. As they rode up, he glanced into the mirror and smiled as he watched Onodera continue to sleep soundly, snuggled against him like he was his favourite teddy.
Outside his door, Takano leaned against the wall slightly as he wrestled with his keys, sighing in relief when he managed to get his door open. There was no point in trying to get Onodera into his own apartment, that would require finding his keys in his jacket or bag, getting the door open, settling him into his bed, without tripping over the sea of clothes and rubbish accumulated after weeks of no sleeping and no time to clean. All without waking him up? Even Takano couldn’t manage that.
He walked them into his bedroom and sat down on the bed, holding Onodera’s hands and leaning back slowly until the younger man released him, sprawling out over the covers instead.
Takano sighed as he looked down at the man.
He so owed him for this.
Takano shrugged off his coat, going to hang it by his door and locking up before he forgot. He unbuttoned his shirt as he returned to the bedroom and upon finding Onodera unstirred after he left, he was satisfied enough to undress for bed.
Usually he preferred to sleep in the nude, but he knew Onodera would most likely freak out the moment he woke. He pulled off his trousers, leaving himself in his boxers and a t-shirt and moved to gently strip Onodera of his coat, folding it over a chair, his scarf and bag sitting on the floor next to it. Onodera didn’t even stir as he pulled his shirt and trousers off, not until he attempted to put one of his old t-shirts on him resulting in the green eyed man batting his away, moaning in his sleep and rolling over.
Sighing, Takano gave up. If he woke and complained about his lack of clothes hopefully he believed Takano when he told him he literally fought him to be that way.
Takano pulled the covers back, slipping into the bed and arranging Onodera next to him, throwing the covers over their bodies and settling down for some much needed sleep. He wasn’t sure of the last time he had managed to get a decent night’s sleep. He had been that way for as long as he could remember – since high school at least.
He rolled over, frowning at those sad memories and found calm in watching Onodera sleep.
He had missed him.
For all his differences, Onodera still slept with his mouth open, his snores were still quiet like a baby’s, and he still mumbled something unintelligible every now and then.
Takano remembered the first time he had slept with him back in high school, they had curled up together in his little bed, petals floating through the open window as the moon became the only light in their little world. Onodera had been so small in his arms. He remembered thinking how soft his skin was, how pale. His hair had smelled sweet and he had kissed it. The younger boy had shifted and pressed a timid kiss against his cheek. Takano smiled down at him and returned the kiss upon his lips, those lips that were always squeezed shut. He chuckled and help him closer, sleep coming fast to them both. Onodera had fallen first and Takano had stayed up a few more minutes, chucking at the mumbles and noises coming from the smaller boy as he slept.
He was doing the same thing now; mumbling quietly, eyes darting about behind his eyelids. He rolled towards Takano and didn’t settle until his skin came into contact with his warm body. Takano remained motionless as Onodera shuffled closer again, wrapping his body around his, nuzzling his face into his neck, blowing out a breathy sigh that made the older man shiver. He grumbled again, fingers pawing at the t-shirt Takano wore and the latter had to fight to suppress his chuckle when he realised he was annoyed at the clothes being on him, trying even unconsciously to get them off.
Takano complied, pulling the shirt over his head and laughed out loud this time when Onodera instantly curled around him, smiling in his dreams and mumbling happily. His hands were cold but soft against his skin and Takano let himself enjoy it.
He didn’t like getting touched anymore. He often tried to avoid it. But this was good. This was nice. He wanted Onodera to touch him, wanted him to be the only one touching him. He closed his eyes and listened to the younger man’s breathing, wishing this night would stretch out and last forever, that he wouldn’t wake in the morning to his reality; where Onodera didn’t remember their beautiful times together in high school, where he was distant from him, here but not quite.
“S..Sa..Saga…” it was just a little mummer, something Takano wouldn’t have heard if he hadn’t been listening to intently. His eyes shot wide and he looked down at the sleeping man, his chest warming that he dreamed of him, maybe he couldn’t remember consciously but unconsciously he was alive in Onodera’s heart, still there in his dreams.
He growled and pulled the smaller man’s body against his, as close as he could, allowing himself this, committing everything to his memory, for come morning that was all it would be.