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“No, no, no. You don’t understand,” Taemin leans forward and widens his eyes for extra drama, “Onew’s abs are godlike.”
“Taemin, you’re so in love with him that you’d say his shits were godlike,” Minho replies, taking a condescending sip of his root beer float.
“That’s a good point,” Jonghyun nods as he steals a bite of Key’s sundae, who retaliates with a glare.
“Why won’t you just believe me?” Taemin huffs.
“He just doesn’t seem like the type of guy who works out a lot,” Key shrugs.
“Yeah, he’s just so cheery and cuddly,” Minho joins Jonghyun in swiping bites of ice cream from Key’s dish, “I can’t imagine him in a gym, surrounded by tons of macho men.”
“You’re playing into hegemonic masculinity too much,” Jonghyun says, shooting Minho a ‘check yourself’ look.
“Okay, fair, but whose side are you on anyways?” Minho replies.
“I’m nonpartisan,” Jonghyun smiles, and sips the last bit of his strawberry milkshake.
“Onew’s adorable and squishy and sweet,” Taemin insists, his spoon dodging Key’s hand as he goes in for a scoop of the other’s sundae, “But he’s also extremely buff, regardless of how much I love him.”
“I’m gonna need to see it to believe it,” Minho says.
“Alright, well, next time we-”
“Hey guys!” Onew suddenly appears, beaming.
“Onew, you’re just the guy we’re looking for,” Key grins, “We need you to take off your-”
“Ooooh! Is that hot fudge?” Onew gasps, steals Taemin’s spoon, and helps himself to Key’s sundae.
“Okay, fuck Onew’s abs,” Key yells, “Someone owes me a new dessert.”
“My abs?” Onew raises his eyebrows at Taemin.
“I’ll explain later,” Taemin sighs and stands up, “What flavor do you want, Key?”
“Pistachio,” Key replies, and just as Onew opens the ice cream shop’s door for Taemin, he shouts, “But make Onew serves it to me on his abs!”
“You got it!” Taemin laughs, imagining the Ridiculously Straight Key licking pistachio ice cream off Onew’s chiseled torso, until Onew clears his throat.
“Um... Care to explain?”