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I just wanted to see your smile.
That’s why I’m always looking at you from afar, content to know that you’re having a nice time.
But then I realized as time passes by, it wasn’t enough.
I just wanted to see you laugh.
That’s why I love watching you as you tell your jokes to the other members. I wanted to tell some of my jokes too, but I know it’d still be weird if I do that suddenly.
I just wanted to see you smile.
But lately, you’re not smiling. What happened? Could it be that you’ve had another fight with your best friend? It seems so. I’ve watched your interactions with the others and noticed that something was really off about you. That’s when I decided that I have to act.
It’s time for me to move and make you smile.
Watching the older move towards the couch, Jun hurriedly followed to sit down beside him.
“Hyung…”
“Yes?”
“If you don’t feel okay, you can take a rest for a while. I’ll let the others know.” Jun offered
Joshua looked at Jun, showing confusion on his face
“I don’t understand what you mean, I mean… I am fine?” the last part came out as a question
“Clearly, you’re not.”
“Thank you, Jun. But I am fine. Really.” Joshua softly reassured
“If you say so…”
Jun stood up and Joshua could only look at Jun’s retreating back, surprised that the younger knew.
Lately, Jun has become more talkative and attentive when it comes to Joshua. Not that Joshua is complaining, it’s just unusual but that doesn’t mean it’s unwelcomed. The change of pace was nice. Jun can be a good conversation starter if he honestly put his mind into it, and Joshua found Jun as a very good companion.
It’s as if Jun is trying to ease the burden away from his shoulders. The stress that he’s currently experiencing because of his strained relationship with his best friend. They had a little quarrel again.
Joshua sighed.
But thanks to Jun, he’s starting to smile now and he can feel his heart become lighter again.
Jun noticed that Joshua started smiling again, it was a good thing indeed. His plan is working.
And at this rate, he knew that they’re becoming closer and closer each day.
Joshua started initiating skinship with him, which usually doesn’t happen before. But now, there are small touches here and there, and there was one time when he held his arm in front of the fans.
Jun wouldn’t admit it but he sometimes lurks on twitter and find photos of him. And Joshua. And when he saw that the moment he cherished was captured in a photo, he immediately saved the photo in his phone. It’s not like that the other members would find out.
It’s already time for the first fansigning event and Jun was glad to hear that he’s seated beside Joshua. Only Joshua!
Jun was having a good time because he was able to initiate a lot of skinship with the pink-haired beauty, and Joshua was being playful already. His smile is already bright and he was glad to know that he’s the one who put it on his beautiful face.
Jun only wanted to see Joshua smile and he was glad that he’s smiling for him.
But when the song ‘Simple’ already played, everybody was a bit preoccupied with what they’re doing, while Hoshi’s also talking. Jun decided to lip-sync, trying to be playful in order to bring another smile or to elicit a laugh from Joshua. But Joshua was not paying attention to him, as much as he tried to catch his attention, he was just too busy listening to Hoshi.
When Jun realized this, his smile immediately fell from his face. Feeling sad because Joshua is now fine, and when Joshua is already fine, that means he’ll be forgotten again. Not that Joshua’s the type who forget people when he’s happy, it’s just that he won’t be having his attention focused solely on him anymore. That’s what he feels sad about. Jun felt a sudden pang to his chest, but he tried to act normal because there are cameras around him, and so, he continued what he was doing.
It suddenly hit Jun that he doesn’t want to just see Joshua smile.
He wants Joshua to smile only for him; to give his full attention only to him.
Jun felt selfish, but it was what his heart wants and maybe, it’s time for him to follow it.
Jun is not a selfish person, but this time, he would allow himself to be.
After all, he was the one who made Joshua smile when no one else can. It was a good start.