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“I don’t care if you are on the run and seen as a fugitive for killing a man, you will take me on a carousel or else.” It’s supposed to be a threat, but Jimin’s simply smirking at his reference.
It’s the effective way to pull a flustered Jungkook in, that stupid smirk on his face the exact reason why he questions why he is the way he is.
How could someone with such a sweet, heart-wrenching smile commit murder, the baby blue sweater he’s wearing glowing with his pale skin.
His pink hair is ruffled up some from earlier when he’d been splayed out over the mattress in the back of this trashy minivan, sifting through their pile of polaroids taken by none other than Jungkook himself.
He’s a bit obsessed with snapping pictures of the older, but he’s not guilty for any of it. Jimin seems to admire him for his attempts to keep things of him, even if he has to throw them all away afterwards.
The moment lasts long enough for them both to be content, that it actually happened, they got to mull over their future together, at least in a fantasy view.
Because they both knew Jimin would be on the run for the rest of his life, and Jungkook is sure he’s going to run off one morning without telling him goodbye.
Jimin’s going to leave him in the dark and he’s not prepared for it, wants to spend more time with him. He’s that selfish of the man.
Jungkook glances back over his shoulder from where he’s standing at the back of the van, staring off towards the sun setting in the distance and the ocean waves overlapping in a serenity.
In the corner of his vision, he can see the flashing lights of the nearby carnival across the reservoir separating them.
The van’s doors are breached open so that the temperate air can flow in and clear out most of the stuffiness in the back, and he turns to look back at Jimin whose tossed the pictures away to pull himself up and leap out of the vehicle.
When he stands he stretched his arms up over his head, glinting eyes fixed on the direction the younger had been staring towards. “Fine, I’ll take you on that stupid carousel.”
Jungkook’s deep chocolate hues widen with shock before they melt into utter admiration when he steps forth to squeeze the older’s arm. “Thank you, hyung.”
“Mm.”
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Their arms are looped together and Jungkook is bashfully pulling him around at the carnival, childlike wonder present on his face as they wander around.
Jimin knows what he’s looking for, knows exactly what he wants, and it’s the last thing he can give the younger man.
When Jungkook catches his unreadable gaze trained on him, his lips curl into a silly little smile and he nudged into his side. “What’s that look for?”
“Nothing you idiot,” Jimin scoffed and rolled his eyes, urging him forward so that they could get a move on and hurry this up so it wouldn’t cut him as deep as it was going to bleed Jungkook dry.
He didn’t care about the younger, it just wasn’t possible that he could.
He’d never been in love, never allowed himself that privilege.
One could say he had always been a runner than a chaser.
Ironic, that the law was stalking at his ankles and trying to wrench him towards the life he’d been attempting to escape for the last couple of years.
There’s a gentle breeze rolling through the air, the winds buffeting against their hair while they amble towards the carousel that’s nearing them faster and faster with every paced step.
Jungkook buys some cotton candy along the way and offers some to the older, who takes it with obvious distaste, only biting into it because the younger is owlishly watching him with a brilliant smile.
He refuses to stare at him like how the younger does him, so he averts his gaze as they reach their destination, handing the treat back to him.
It’s evident that Jungkook is anticipating the next few minutes, stepping up to the line with the bunch of parents and kids waiting for their turn to ride.
No words are spoken between them as the line lessens, and the younger has finished the cotton candy, tossing away the stick in the closest trash-can by the time they arrive to the front of the line.
It’s their turn and Jimin’s eyes are stinging from the wind’s force when he sees Jungkook step past the gate and wave back at him before venturing off to pick a spot to ride on.
Jimin had strictly told him he wouldn’t be riding with him this time, because his stomach was feeling a bit fuzzy, and the younger simply shrugged at him claiming that he’d be missing out on a beautiful moment in life.
Though he can’t capture the concept of how any of this is a beautiful moment in life.
His most beautiful moment in life hasn’t come around yet.
The older man circles around the carousel, leaning into the gate as he finds where Jungkook’s settled himself down in one of those decorative swan seats.
The ponies around him seemed more fitting, but the younger looked more content laying back into the cool cushions of the seat.
Jungkook grins lazily at him when he spots him, wiggling his fingers at him in greeting, and Jimin patiently lifts his own hand for a brief second to acknowledge his presence.
As the ride starts up, the younger’s attention diverts to the pretty lights of the carousel.
Jimin observes him as he disappears from view the first time it goes round, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning into the frame of the gate.
Jungkook pops his head up from the swan and waves a bit more persistently this time, like he’s wanting to capture Jimin’s attention.
The older doesn’t wear any expression though, doesn’t crack a smile this time and makes no acknowledgement of him other than his unwavering gaze.
The boy’s appearance disappears around to the other side again and Jimin frowns, hating himself for doing this.
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The next few times Jungkook spins around with the carousel, he is genuinely enjoying himself for the entirety of the ride.
As it slows to a stop he is pouting instantly, wondering how Jimin will take it if he asks him if he can go one more time.
Jumping off the carousel’s platform, he speedily walks past the exit gate and then finds himself alone by the spot he’d sworn he’d just seen Jimin standing at before.
Panic rises in his chest and he wants to call out for him, but all of these people will look at him oddly, for he’s grown and all that.
He whips his head every which direction, tears threatening to spill already from how fast they surface to his eyes.
The panic is numbing him, the wind suffocating him, and he doesn’t see Jimin anywhere.
He checks the bathrooms, checks the carousel area, checks to see if he’s sat down to eat somewhere, but he doesn’t see him anywhere.
Jungkook clenches his eyes shut, in the verge of tears, and feels himself sinking into the pit of loneliness once again.
They’d only seen each other a month, it can’t be too serious, it shouldn’t feel so severe.
But why are there splinters piercing his heart?
But why is Jeon Jungkook fighting back tears and biting hard enough into his bottom lip to draw blood to its surface?
He didn’t tell him goodbye.
He’s old enough to know better, he should know better.
Jimin was using him, had taken advantage of him, hadn’t really cared for all the stories Jungkook had told him.
Jimin had to hide from all of the authorities at every turn, had once pulled the younger in tight and threatened that if he had given away his position, he’d kill him before alerting absolutely anyone of his whereabouts.
So he’d been on trips with the older, was far from home, and now left to survive on his own.
His vision blurs and his head drops between his shoulders as he stands in the public eye, tearing right at the very seams with his heart aching so bad he might break out in an ugly sob.
Jungkook was never good with break ups.
Though he’s not even sure if Jimin considered him to be his boyfriend. He’d probably just been his plaything.
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If anyone had been looking for Jungkook that night, he’d found himself perched on a hill of sand down on the beach, which was accessible for citizens during the late of night. He was shivering to his core, hugging his arms to his chest with his teeth chattering and his feet buried in the sand.
He’d tried wiggling his toes earlier but they’d already frozen and he’s not even afraid of the frostbite to come, not when he’s so torn up inside that all he’s been doing for the past four hours is sob to the ocean about how sorry he is.
Nobody comes, and in the morning, the shore is silent save for the tumble of waves crashing in to spread amongst the sand.
The beach is empty, the carnival is closed down since it’s the start of the week again, and there’s the distant sound of an ambulance nearby.
The most beautiful moment in life was not reached.