Work Text:
“So was shooting that rocket launcher a mistake, or what?” Ray asked.
Ryan shrugged. ‘It was fun,’ he signed – or at least, Ray assumed that’s what he was signing. He was a bit hard to understand with his hands cuffed together, after all.
Ray had picked the locks on his own cuffs several minutes ago, but left them on for the sake of appearances. The LSPD would probably get depressed or something if they weren’t occasionally allowed to feel like they were good at something.
“I feel like you could have at least waited until there wasn’t a cop looking at you.”
‘Sorry,’ Ryan signed, not looking sorry in the least. His face paint was smudged, smears of red and black making him look strange and fierce.
“Jack’s going to be pissed, dude. She doesn’t like playing lawyer.” Ray leaned back in his seat. “You’re the one that’s going to explain this to her, by the way.”
‘You’ll need to interpret,’ Ryan replied. It was an easy enough sign to recognize, since it didn’t require moving his hands apart.
“Fuck, you’re right. That’ll be fun.”
Ryan turned in his seat to look at the door to the interrogation room. ‘When are they getting here?’ He asked, referring to the cop that was presumably going to arrive at some point.
“They’ve got to make us stew, you know? Get us thinking about what we did wrong. Like putting a kid in the corner.”
‘I’m thinking this is boring,’ Ryan signed, looking annoyed.
“They didn’t even have the decency to leave me my DS,” Ray complained.
Eventually the door opened, revealing a slightly frazzled looking cop Ray recognized from one of his last stays at the station. His partner followed him in, taking a seat across from them while the first cop remained standing.
“Officer Shearion, nice to see you,” he said cheerfully. “Have you redecorated? It looks good.”
“Cut the small talk. Do you know why you’re here?”
Ray made a puzzled face and turned to Ryan, who shrugged. “Not really. Could you refresh my memory?”
“You and your…associate,” Shearion said, glaring at Ryan, “shot three cars with a rocket launcher. On camera, with a police officer as a witness. I don’t think your lawyer friend is going to talk you out of this one.”
“Don’t we still get a defense?” Ray asked. “It might not have been us, you know.”
“Unfortunately, we do have to give them that,” Shearion’s partner said.
“Thank you, Officer…?”
“Balzer,” he said. “Whatever excuse you have, you’d better hope that it’s a good one.”
“Actually, my associate is the one with the explanation, but you’re going to need to uncuff him first,” Ray said.
“And why would we do that?” Shearion demanded.
“It’s a bit hard to sign with your hands cuffed.”
“He can manage.”
“We do have to give them a chance to plead their case,” Balzer said, not sounding very happy about it. “And find a translator, I suppose.”
“I can translate,” Ray offered. “Accurately, even.”
“Fine,” Shearion grumbled. “Any funny business, and my partner will have to explain to the boss how I broke both your arms in self-defense.”
“Aye-aye, sir,” Ray said smartly, doing his best to salute.
Shearion moved closer to uncuff Ryan, watching both of them sharply. Ryan shook his wrists out gratefully, smiling pleasantly at the cop. ‘Thanks.’
“Alright, get on with the explanation,” Shearion snapped.
‘Ray and I have been dating for six months,’ Ryan began.
“One of the cars had a UT bumper sticker,” Ray translated.
‘We decided to have a bit of fun.’
“A UT student once knocked over his plant.”
‘I recently bought a new rocket launcher and things just escalated.’
“Ever since then, he’s had a personal vendetta against anything from UT.”
“You said you’d translate accurately,” Balzer interrupted.
“Word for word, dude. Don’t blame me just because he’s a weird motherfucker,” Ray replied.
‘Ray, be nice to the poor police officer,’ Ryan scolded, his attempt at a stern look ruined by the smile twitching up the corners of his mouth.
“Man, I can’t even translate that,” Ray replied, grinning cheekily. “You hug your mother with those hands?”
‘I do something with them. But you would know that.’
‘Wow, naughty,’ Ray signed back. Out loud he said, “He’s willing to write a nice apology letter if you buy him a cactus.”
“A fucking cactus,” Shearion repeated, slumping down into the remaining chair on the other side of the table. “I need a vacation.”
‘No, just a regular cactus.’
Ray repeated this out loud. Shearion made an annoyed grumbling noise, and his partner patted him on the back sympathetically.
“We really do want to help you out here,” Balzer said, ignoring Shearion’s muttered “no we don’t”. “But you’re not making this easy for us here.”
‘I’m getting bored. How about we don’t make Jack come get us?’ Ryan suggested.
“That’s a great idea, buddy. We should tell these nice officers about what Gavin is doing on the other side of town. Probably right as we speak.”
‘Maybe we should do that too.’
“Okay, I’ll come clean with you, officers,” Ray said, leaning forward. “But I need you to guarantee you can protect me. My boss won’t like what I have to say, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m sure something can be arranged,” Balzer said, obviously trying to hide his eagerness.”
‘I wouldn’t say no to a cactus,’ Ryan signed, acting like he was arguing.
“Shut up, you’re not the boss of me,” Ray snapped back. Using the smallest motions he could, he added ‘get ready’, making R signs with both his hands and twitching them slightly.
Ryan folded his arms and slumped down in his chair, looking disapproving. The motion allowed him to reach for the knives Ray knew were hidden in his jacket.
“Can you come over here?” Ray looked nervously at the security camera in the corner. “Our tech guy is really good. I don’t want him to be able to hear it on the recording.”
The two cops exchanged a look, then Shearion stood up and moved around the table. “Alright, out with it.”
Ray turned his head slightly to look at Ryan, who gave a small nod. “Remember the Maze Bank job last week?” He asked, speaking softly so that Shearion had to lean close to hear him.
“It’s a bit hard to forget,” the cop replied. “What about it?”
“Well, don’t tell anyone I told you, but we might be planning something with…” While he spoke, Ray slipped the unlocked cuffs off his wrists and struck out, hitting Shearion across the face with them. At the same time, Ryan whipped one of his knives out of his jacket and threw it across the table, hitting Balzer in the throat before he could react.
Shearion stumbled back, pressing a hand over the bleeding scratch the handcuffs had left just above his eye, and cursed loudly. Without looking over, Ray held out a hand and felt Ryan press a knife into it. Reversing his grip on it, he used it to strike Shearion on the temple, sending him to the floor into a boneless pile.
“Sorry dude, nothing personal,” Ray told him. He turned to Ryan. “We should probably grab our stuff and get out.”
‘Agreed. You should use my knives on people more often. It’s a good look for you.’ Ryan walked around the table and tugged his knife free.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with my sniper. This is too much physical activity for one day. You should carry me out of here,” Ray said, opening the door and looking down the hall for cops. “I think we’re clear to go if we hurry.”
He heard Ryan walk up behind him and snap his fingers, indicating that he wanted to say something. When he turned, Ryan was holding out one of the cops’ guns for him. ‘Think you can shoot from up on my back?’
“Oh hell yeah.” Ray laughed, moving around him and hopping up, wrapping his arms and legs around the taller man. Ryan barely stumbled from the sudden added weight, hands coming up to brace Ray’s legs.
Ray kicked his legs a little, careful not to dislodge Ryan’s hold. “Onward, my noble steed!”
He felt more than heard the slight huff of Ryan’s laughter. Releasing one of Ray’s legs for a moment, Ryan waved a hand above his shoulder, palm turned towards Ray, middle and ring fingers tucked to his palm. Ray smiled.
“Love you too, Ry.”