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“So before you joined up to try for the Military Police, was there a special reason Jean?” Connie smiled suggestively as several of the new recruits at their table scoffed and rolled their eyes.
“Haa? What brought that up?” Jean brought his cup of water to his lips, taking a small sip.
“Well everyone has a reason for joining up right? You just seem like the type that would have a reason like that.” Connie answered. The rest of the table sputtered and laughed as Jean’s cheeks flushed.
“If you’re talking about a girl. I don’t have one. This isn’t the time to be thinking about girls.”
“It’s the perfect time, after all who knows when everyone is going to die might as well at least do it once.” Ymir called from the end of the table. Christa reached out and tried to put her hands over Ymir’s mouth. Jean shot Ymir a dirty look as Connie and Shasha laughed. Reiner and Berthold shook their heads, smiling slightly listening to the younger teens talk about romance.
“At this age, who believes in love at first sight anyhow.” Jean sighed picking up and drinking the rest of his water. Setting down the cup heavily he brushed his hands on his pants and stood up from the table.
He hadn’t seen Eren coming as he had stepped out, and the dark haired male hadn’t been expecting him to step out so suddenly. Both collided sending Jean to the left and Eren to the right.
Grimacing, Jean bristled as the noise around them stopped, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going Jeager.”
Eren narrowed his eyes and stepped around Jean, “Your were the one that got in my way, Jean.”
The air crackled with electricity and tension as Eren moved towards the corner sitting down by himself. Armin wound his way around Jean smiling at him apologetically and nodding, before heading to sit across from Eren.
“Oh look at that Eren and Armin are going to their little corner. They must be too good to sit with the rest of us.” Jean grit out between his clenched teeth. Marco blinked and reached out to touch his shoulder.
“That’s not true. They had breakfast with us this morning.”
“It’s better that they don’t sit with us. Eren’s suicidal talk might start to infect everyone.”
A soft cough turned his attention to the woman behind him. He knew her well, and his cheeks flushed instantly red as Mikasa stared at him for a moment. A few tense seconds passed before Marco gently pulled him out of the way. Mikasa gave one last look to him, before proceeding to sit down next to Eren.
Jean sighed slightly grabbing his glass and plate heading to put them up, “I’m done.”
Berthold shook his head rubbing at the back of his neck as Reiner chuckled, “Who is he kidding? Doesn’t Jean know better than anyone that there is such a thing as love at first sight?”
Everyone at the table exchanged knowing looks.
---
It had been a long couple of days. Even though that was an understatement, Jean stared out at the billowing smoke that rose slowly up towards the sky. The smell of rotting flesh, and the moans and cries from the people around them barely registered to his ears and nose as he stood silently watching from the roof.
Several new recruits had branched out leaving the more experienced people to clean up the bodies of their fallen comrades. Jean had been doing just fine, but he too had finally fled for a break.
“Marco...What happened to you?”
Even as he asked the question, his breath hitched and his heart pinched painfully making it harder to breathe.
A soft sigh from behind him and the sound of boots hitting the tile made him tense up. Turning around with narrowed eyes and an open mouth, “I don’t know who you are but-”
His voice cracked and died when he realized who it was. Mikasa blinked and looked down at him from her position on the roof. She stared at him, and he stared back. For several seconds they just stared at each other. Jean sighed and leaned forward, letting his forearms rest against the tops of his knees. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”
Mikasa watched him for a few seconds before moving to lean against the half dilapidated chimney on the roof they now shared. The silence was even worse to him than the moans and cries of the others down on the ground in despair. “Do you mind if I sit here?”
How many times had Jean actually heard her speak?
“Sure. Why not? It’s not like I have a monopoly on the roof Mikasa. You didn’t have to ask.” Jean sighed as he shut his eyes. What surprised him was the brush of her hip against his as she took up the same position. In her hands was the end of that red scarf she always worse. Twisting it slowly and tugging at the fabric as she sat by him. Jean didn’t expect to see that sight at all.
Turning to look at him, Mikasa only kept his eyes for a moment.
“I heard about Marco. I’m sorry.” Jean felt that same sensation in his chest. He smiled bitterly and looked away as he leaned forward pressing his chin into one of his arms.
“Yeah, it sucks. But we all knew what we were signing up for, right?” His voice sounded colder and even more bitter than he himself was used to. Mikasa shrugged gently, and turned to look out at the city.
Jean sat beside her, his chest tightening over and as he wiped at his eyes. Sure, Marco had known exactly what he had wanted to do. He had mapped out in detail what was going to happen to him after he finished training.
Why couldn’t it have been anyone else?
“It’s not fair.” Jean muttered as he gently as he wiped at his eyes trying to keep from breaking down completely. However, the cracks were there.
In front of the girl I like. This is uncool too.
Gently at his side there was a pressure, as Mikasa leaned into his shoulder silently, one of her hands coming to rest on the clenched fist closest to her. He looked to the side, and noticed her eyes were shut, brows furrowed. Her hand gently squeezed his, and Jean couldn’t hold himself back anymore.
He wasn’t sure how long it had been, but Mikasa stayed beside him silently letting him mourn.
---
Jean stayed in the barracks the day that Eren had his trial. In fact, all the new recruits had except for Armin and Mikasa who had been summoned to appear by the Military Police. Connie stared at him as Jean sat at their usual lunch table.
“What do you think they’re going to do to Eren? Do you think they’ll kill him?”
Shrugging, Jean turned towards the large window beside them, “Who cares. He was a pain in the ass anyway.”
Connie frowned and shook his head as he moved away from the other. “Whatever you say Jean.”
It was near the end of the day before he accidentally found Armin and Mikasa after their return. Stepping to the side as not to be seen, Jean waited quietly.
“Mikasa you have to stop! What are you going to do? They’d kill Eren and you too!” Armin’s voice was shaking. Even though he couldn’t exactly see them, since he had backed up to the side of the mess hall, he could hear them perfectly clear.
“I will rescue Eren. I have to.” Was Mikasa reply. Though something was different, her normal timber was replaced with a hard angry tone.
“But Eren wouldn’t want you to! He’s safe for now, especially with Corporal Levi looking after him-”
“That man beat him so bad he couldn’t even stand! You want to leave Eren in the hands of that little monster?!” Mikasa spat out as she stepped away from the side of the mess hall and into Jean’s view.
“He had to have a logical reason for what he-”
“No.” Mikasa raised her voice firmly causing Armin to stop his own argument. She turned and marched off towards the edge of the camp. Armin turned in her direction ready to go after her when Jean finally moved. Tapping the other on the shoulder, Jean inclined his head towards the doors of the dining hall.
“Go that way. I’ll go talk to her.”
Armin blinked, looking up at Jean for a moment before he looked down at his feet and nodded, shuffling up the steps. With the blonde out of the way, Jean turned around keeping sight of Mikasa as he jogged towards her back.
---
“Mikasa. Will you stop a second?” Jean caught up with the irate girl as he grabbed her wrist. Flinging his hand off herself, Mikasa turned around. Jean noticed that her brows were furrowed and her lips were turned down. He narrowed his eyes.
“Hey. Look I know you're pissed but it sounds like there is literally nothing you can do. Even for as annoying as Armin can be, he’s right. All you’d do is get Eren punished or get yourself killed.” Mikasa tried to turn away from him, but Jean grabbed her shoulder.
“I’m not done. Eren might be a suicidal idiot, but if he really is going under the Recon corps isn’t that what he wants? Even if you care for him, he’s getting his wish, right? Just let him go!”
Mikasa stared at him as if he had grown a second head, “Jean. You want to leave Eren with someone who beats him like a dog? What kind of person are you?”
Jean sighed and rubbed at his forehead, “You know you get really closed minded when it comes to Eren. I get it. You like him, you’re protective of him. But, he is his own person. Can’t you trust him to protect himself?”
After all the Eren he knew was too stubborn to be beaten into submission.
“I’m not there with him. What will happen if they hurt him? I won’t be there to protect him.” Mikasa insisted as she tried to step away. Reaching out Jean grabbed the end of her scarf keeping her in place.
“You aren’t his mother Mikasa. Besides he too stubborn to just die, trust me.”
He’s not like Marco…
The thought echoed in his head as his fingers wavered on the red of the scarf. Was this really his place? Though as soon as he stopped talking and Mikasa looked up he reached resting his hand on her head. “It’ll be okay. You’ll see him when you join the Recon corps won’t you?”
Mikasa looked up at him, and before Jean knew what to do her face was pushed into his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist. Her shoulders shook as she stifled a soft noise in his shirt. Jean stood there stiffly arms out before he finally willed himself to relax and wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Everything will be okay.”
Several moments passed and the sun was down completely before they separated. Jean watched as Mikasa turned her back and moved silently towards her barracks, but just before she was inside he reached for her again. “Hey. There is something I have to say to you. Since the moment I first saw you, I’ve liked you. You’ve always been around Eren so I’ve never been able to talk to you. But, I was wondering if your heart was completely taken over by him...Or if there is a chance that I can occupy some of that space too?”
Mikasa stared at him eyes widening just a bit before he stepped back, “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Actually, I wouldn’t want you to. Just think about it.”
Jean turned on his heel and moved back towards the mess hall leaving Mikasa on the porch alone with the confession and her thoughts.
---
It was hard watching everyone standing around him turn tail and run. After all, that had been exactly what he had wanted to do. Erwin’s speech had done nothing but cause his legs to feel like jelly, but still he stood firm. Squeezing his eyes shut he heard the new recruits mutter around him as they all left.
He was afraid to open his eyes, but when he heard Erwin sigh and he heard a few whimpers around him, he forced himself to. Around him were his friends and others they had been close to. However, his eyes moved towards one person in particular who stood a little ways before him.
Mikasa stood forward, back straight and head held high. He couldn’t help but smile a little himself as he fell into the salute with the rest of the new members of the Recon corps. Afterwards he had turned to move back to the barracks in order to pack. However a gentle hand rested on his shoulder, causing him to pause in his stride. Looking back over his shoulder, Mikasa stared back at him a frown on her features. “I thought you were going to the Military Police.”
“Yeah, so did I” Jean admitted with a small sigh. Mikasa’s hand tightened on his shoulder as he turned to look down at her.
Mikasa continued to stare at him for several moments as if she were searching for something. Jean let her, until it started to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “If that’s all you wanted to say I need to get back and get my stuff ready to go. You need to go pack too.”
Jean moved forward, but Mikasa tugged on his shoulder once more causing him to sigh. “What?”
Before he could react, she had grabbed a handful of his shirt, pulling him down to place a kiss on his lips. Jean’s face heated up as he allowed his eyes to shut, and his arms to wrap around her. The kiss was probably less than a minute, but to Jean it felt like an eternity. As she pulled back, she grabbed his hand and gave him a small smile. “I don’t know how this is going to work, but I want it to.”
Jean felt his cheeks heat up a little more with her admission as he slipped his hand in hers and they walked back in silence to the barracks.