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Maggie doesn't get nervous.
Or, well, not really.
Until she does.
Because Alex wants to introduce her to her friends. As her girlfriend. And to be honest, Maggie's never been at this point. She's never met the friends before. With her ex-girlfriend she's known of them and she's run into them, but they never officially met or hung out.
That's something Alex really, really wants. She's told her that. So when Alex suggests to meet up with her friends tonight at the dive bar, Maggie hestitates. And it's not because she isn't sure about how she feels about Alex. Also not quite because she's doubting Alex' feelings. It's more that she's scared Alex will introduce her and still get tired of her after a few months and it'll all have been for nothing.
Because no matter how many times Alex tells her she really likes her and doesn't want to lose her, ever, the fear still eats at her. Maggie thinks it probably always will.
"Maggie?" Alex asks, hand reaching out to rest on top of hers, "Please say something,"
Maggie blinks herself back to the present, sitting on the couch with Alex, talking, before she clears her throat, "Uh, I- I'm not sure, Alex,"
Hurt flashes through Alex' gaze and Maggie immediately regrets her choice of words, because she didn't mean it like that, but it probably sounded like that and now Alex is pulling her hand back and looking down at her lap and shit.
"Wait, no," Maggie sighs, "that came out wrong,"
Alex glances up, lip worried between her teeth, but she doesn't say anything. Maggie just sighs, rubs her hand over her face. She really is bad at expressing herself sometimes.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, grabbing Alex hand into hers, running her index finger across the back as if she's writing everything she doesn't dare say, "I just meant that, I mean, I just don't want you to regret it,"
"Regret what?" Alex asks, eyes widening, "Introducing you as my girlfriend?"
Maggie just nods.
"Maggie," a breath, soft, surprised, loving.
"I just- This is a serious thing and I just want you to be sure,"
Alex scoots closer, her free hand coming up to cup Maggie's cheek, "I am sure. I want you to meet them. I want to introduce you as my girlfriend,"
"Really?"
"Yes,"
A smile plays at Maggie's lips, because Alex is serious about them and Alex wants her to meet her friends. She can't believe she ever thought being with Alex was the wrong thing to do. She can't believe she's been so stupid.
"If you're okay with that, of course," she then says, squeezing Maggie's hand.
Maggie just nods, squeezes back, "Yeah, I am,"
"You sure?"
"I'm just," she hesitates, "scared, I guess,"
Lifting her arm as an invitation to cuddle, Maggie quickly shuffles against Alex' side, their hands still tangled together. Maggie sighs as she rests her head against Alex' collarbone, her girlfriend's heartbeat steady in her ear.
"I just want them to like me,"
Alex runs her fingers through Maggie's hair, "And they will. They will love you, Maggie,"
Maggie's heart backflips at Alex' choice of words, her smile widening. She hides her face in Alex' sweater and chuckles, because she loves Alex and she can't wait to tell her. She might just explode, because she wants to shout it from the rooftops, tell ever single living soul how much she's grown to love this amazing woman.
"I hope so," she ends up saying, because the other thing she desperately wants to – needs to – say gets stuck at the back of her throat.
"We should leave soon, if we want to make it," Alex whispers against her hair, before pressing a soft kiss to her head.
Maggie tenses, because shit. Alex notices, rubs her shoulder, kisses her head again. Whispers an it'll be okay. Maggie pulls back from their embrace and looks at her, before leaning in to kiss her softly. Then she nods.
Alex gets up from the couch, holding her hands out for Maggie to take. Pulling her up, Alex pulls her into her arms and smiles down at her.
"I'm gonna take a shower," Alex says softly, eyes gentle, "do you want to join me?"
And there's nothing sexual about it. Because Alex is smiling that bashful smile of hers as her fingers run up and down Maggie's arms, and Maggie can't help but smile back.
"Of course,"
Alex presses another kiss to Maggie's forehead, letting her lips linger as she smiles. She can't believe this woman is her girlfriend and she gets to kiss her and shower with her and make her breakfast in bed. She can't believe this woman likes her and gets her flowers randomly and can cook them actual meals.
Because God knows Alex can't cook to save her life.
Leading her towards the bathroom, Alex glances over her shoulder to look at her, smiling widely. Maggie closes the door behind them, before she pulls her shirt over her head. Alex' eyes are trained on her body and Maggie swears she's on fire. She always is when Alex looks at her.
Alex takes a few small steps closer, until they're pressed together, and kisses her, "You're so beautiful,"
Maggie shakes her head, pulls her in for another kiss. It's gentle and soft, but Alex sighs against her lips and Maggie slowly starts to push Alex' shirt up her body. When she pulls back from their kiss, Alex actually whines and Maggie laughs, because, "I have to stop kissing you if I want to take this off,"
"I'd rather just kiss you, then,"
Maggie chuckles, "We need to shower, baby. That's what you said,"
"Fuck me and my stupid mouth,"
"Later," Maggie promises with a small wink, finally pulling Alex' shirt off.
Alex flushes red, but keeps the eyecontact going, "Or now?"
Shaking her head again, Maggie laughs, "Then we'll never make it on time. I thought you wanted to introduce me to your friends?"
And it's about the way Maggie tells her – asks her – that Alex knows she needs this moment. Needs the innocence of a shower with her, needs Alex taking care of her. Because Maggie is scared and vulnerable and not used to this.
So Alex pecks her lips, before turning around and starting to pull her pants down her legs, Maggie quickly doing the same. Alex turns the shower on, opening the door for Maggie to step in first. Smiling, Maggie kisses her cheek, pulls her inside, under the stream of water. Alex protectively wraps her arm around Maggie's waist, pulling her against her chest, letting the warm water hit Maggie's back.
"Who will be there tonight?"
Alex lets go of Maggie to reach for two washcloths and soap as she speaks, "Kara, of course, and James, Winn and J'onn. And probably also Mon-El, since he works at the bar,"
"Right,"
"You've met James and Winn before,"
Maggie chuckles dryly, "Yeah, under less exciting circumstances,"
Alex sighs as she drapes Maggie's hair across one shoulder so she can start washing her back. She's gentle and careful as she washes Maggie's body, presses a kiss against her neck as she starts on her arms.
"They didn't know, Maggie,"
"About what?"
Alex hesitates, but then, "About us. About what happened between us,"
Silence. For a few seconds. Just Alex washing Maggie's body for her, trying to help her relax. And then,
"Oh," she says, "right,"
"I'm serious, babe," Alex reassures as she turns Maggie towards her, "they will love you,"
Love. Maggie's heart flutters again, a smile unwillingly starting to form on her face. Then she lets Alex wash her body in silence, enjoying the soft press of her hand on her chest, her stomach, the inside of her thighs, her calves. She looks down at Alex and for a second she's having trouble breathing, because Alex down on her knees for her isn't a sight she's used to. Yet.
Alex meets her gaze playfully and kisses her thigh before getting back on her feet. "Wash my body for me?"
And Maggie nods, because of course, and grabs the other washcloth.
Alex can't believe someone could ever be so gentle with her. That she could actually enjoy being intimate with someone. Fair enough, when she came out to Maggie this wasn't the kind of intimate she was talking about. But this feels even more intimate than sex and she's not used to this. Her heart swells in her chest as Maggie presses close to her back, washing her front.
Then she spins around to kiss her, quickly, softly. As if she's scared Maggie will break if she kisses her too hard. If she wants her too hard. Maggie's free hand threads itself into Alex' wet hair, their eyes meeting. Alex' gaze is warm and caring and Maggie feels like she's about to collapse any moment, because she is not used to this.
"Can I wash your hair?" Maggie asks softly, dropping the washcloth and now running both her hands through Alex' hair.
Alex just nods, turns back around so it's easier for Maggie to wash her hair. Maggie takes her time, massages Alex' scalp, runs her fingers through her hair once, twice, and again. Alex sighs softly, closes her eyes, the water warm against her skin, Maggie's hands sending shivers down her spine.
"You're really good at this,"
Maggie chuckles, but doesn't say anything. Just keeps working on Alex' hair, before rinsing it out. Then Alex turns towards her, grabs the shampoo bottle and motions for Maggie to turn around, and Maggie smiles. No one's ever washed her hair before. No one's ever wanted to. And it might seem like something stupid to most people, it means something to Maggie.
It doesn't take that long for Alex to shampoo Maggie's hair, to get her to sigh at the tugging on her hair and the soft fingers on her neck ever so often. Alex feels her relax under her fingertips and it makes her feel better. Makes her feel like she's being good to Maggie.
"Thank you," Maggie whispers when Alex finishes.
Shaking her head, Alex pulls Maggie back against her chest and kisses her. Maggie melts into her, her hands on Alex' hips, and she tilts her head to deepen the kiss. Alex whimpers, kisses her back with all the love she feels in her body, grips her hips and pulls her as close as possible.
And Maggie wants to tell her. She does. But she can't, because Alex is kissing her and she's biting Maggie's lip and Maggie can't even think about anything else than Alex licking into her mouth and Alex' little moans that she desperately tries to hold back, but just can't.
"Are you relaxed?" Alex asks once she's pulled back.
Maggie nods, smirks, "Also very much turned on,"
"Well," Alex teases, "you wanted to wait,"
"Oh, fuck you, Danvers,"
"Later," Alex grins, throwing Maggie's words back at her.
Maggie just scoffs as she turns the shower off, meanwhile Alex quickly exits the shower to grab the both of them some towels. They get dressed in a comfortable silence, only ever so often broken by a small kiss or a tap on the ass. Maggie's ass.
"Are you ready?" Alex asks once they're back in the living room, her hands reaching out for Maggie's.
Maggie shrugs, "As ready as I'll ever be,"
Kissing her, Alex rubs her back softly, tries to relax her, to wordlessly tell her everything will be alright. Maggie leans into her for a few moments, before pulling away and grabbing their jackets. She just wants to get this over and done with.
••
"Ready?" Alex asks as they stand outside the dive bar.
Maggie takes a breath, runs her hand through her hair, sighs. Alex now fully turns towards her, cups her cheeks.
"I guess," Maggie breathes.
Alex just leans in and presses their lips together, because she doesn't know what to say to make things easier for Maggie, except that they will love her- just like Alex does. But now is not the time, because Maggie is nervous and Alex doesn't want to make things worse by having to make Maggie feel like she has to say it back.
So she just kisses her over and over and over again. Her lips, her cheeks, her nose, everywhere.
"Okay, okay," Maggie laughs softly, "I think I'm okay. We can go in,"
••
Maggie and I are dating.
A smile on her face, Maggie sinks down into the pillows. She hears the toilet flush and the water in the sink running. She's so proud of Alex. Just how easily she came out to her friends, how simple it was for her to just say she's with Maggie. How proud she looked of being Maggie's.
Ladies loving ladies.
There it was again. Loving. Maggie's not sure Alex meant anything by it, but it still didn't fail to send a shiver down her spine, her smile only growing as she kept looking at Alex. And even now, back at Alex' place, back home, she still gets the chills thinking about it.
Maggie gets pulled out of her thoughts by the bathroom door opening, Alex walking out of it in just her T-shirt and panties. Maggie smiles up at her, lifts the covers, waits. Alex is quick to jump into bed next to her, immediately cuddling up to her girlfriend, tangling their legs together. Maggie hisses when Alex' feet touch hers.
"Jesus, Danvers," she says, pulling Alex closer, "your feet are cold,"
Alex chuckles, "You're just hot,"
"Damn right I am,"
"Full of yourself, much?"
Maggie laughs, shakes her head, burries herself closer into Alex' chest. She feels Alex tightening her grip around her shoulders, a kiss planted on the top of her head.
"How are you feeling?" Alex then asks, softly.
Maggie sighs, mostly from relief, "I'm okay. I'm great, really. How are you feeling?"
Alex chuckles, "Amazing. Like there's this huge weight lifted off my shoulders, now,"
"I'm so proud of you, Alex," Maggie says, tilting her head so she can kiss Alex' jaw.
"Yeah," Alex sighs, "it wasn't all that bad, was it?"
"No, it was okay," Maggie answers, "your friends are nice,"
"Of course they are," Alex teases, "they're my friends."
Maggie laughs and pokes Alex' side with her index finger, before letting her hand slide down her side to rest on her hip, "I'm happy we did this,"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah,"
Alex sighs, her fingers running up and down Maggie's arm that's around her waist, "Me too,"
Maggie closes her eyes for a second, enjoying the feeling of being in Alex' arms, of being held by her girlfriend – the woman she loves. Actually, really loves. And again, Maggie wants to tell her. Because being here, with her, is everything Maggie could ever wish for and it's more than she deserves.
"I told you they'd love you, Maggie," Alex whispers, "just like-"
Maggie tenses, just slightly, before lifting herself up on her elbow so she can look at Alex properly. Because this might be it. Maggie feels it in her bones, in the tremble of Alex' hand on her waist, feels it in the way Alex' eyes widen as she looks up at Maggie.
"Just like what?"
Alex' grip tightens on Maggie's waist, her breath hitching in her throat. Maggie notices, Maggie knows. Because her heart stammers against her chest and her whole body is trembling as she waits for Alex to speak, for Alex to say something. To say it.
Alex opens her mouth, closes it immediately after. As if she's not sure what to say. But then Maggie reaches for her free hand and tangles their fingers together, squeezes encouragingly. And she just waits, because Alex looks like she's about to explode, her eyes wide and jaw slightly dropped and eyebrows raised.
And then,
"Just like me,"
Maggie hesitates, "Just like.. you,"
"Yes, I-," Alex sighs, brings Maggie's hand up to kiss her knuckles, "I love you,"
"You- You love me,"
Alex nods.
Maggie nods.
And then she kisses her. She kisses Alex, presses as close to her as possible, bringing their tangled hands above Alex' head, holding her down onto the pillow. Maggie kisses her and Alex sighs against her and kisses her back. Maggie rolls on top of her and presses her thigh between Alex' legs, making Alex break the kiss as she lets out a quiet moan.
"I love you, too," Maggie then whispers, pressing kisses against her cheek, then her jaw, slowly kissing down her neck.
"Maggie," Alex pleads, the hand that isn't intertwined with hers now on her ass, "I love you,"
Maggie's heart bursts as she kisses Alex again, because Alex loves her and she loves Alex and she can kiss Alex whenever she wants, because they're girlfriends who love each other. Maggie's only free hand slides under Alex' shirt and teases her side, their lips still glued together. But then Alex' hand leaves Maggie's ass and grabs the hand under her shirt.
"Not tonight," she whispers, asks, "I just want to hold you,"
And Maggie stops.
"Okay,"
She rolls off of Alex, kisses her cheek again and curls into her. Alex chuckles and kisses her forehead, before nuzzling into her and sliding her leg in between Maggie's, because she just wants to be close to her and she wants to feel her everywhere. But not like that. Not tonight.
"Can you roll over?" Alex then asks, after a few minutes of Maggie rubbing Alex' back under her shirt, to ease her to sleep, to help her relax, to make her feel loved. Also simply because she knows Alex loves it when Maggie rubs her back.
"Roll over?"
"I want to spoon,"
And Maggie chuckles, untangles herself from Alex to roll onto her other side, waiting for Alex to wrap her arm around her waist before snuggling into her. She feels how Alex presses a soft kiss against her shoulder, then tangles their hands together on Maggie's stomach.
"I love you," Alex whispers into Maggie's hair.
Maggie smiles, closes her eyes, squeezes Alex' hand, "I love you, too,"