Chapter Text
These woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost
The alarm woke me up before the pain did. I groaned as all my muscles protested against the movement I was currently making. My head hurt and I couldn't see anything but smoke drifting lazily through the air. I knew I had to find Kaidan and Lydia, but I was stuck between my seat and the control panel. Just what had happened? Why were The Normandy's alarms going off? I tried to look around but still couldn't see anything. The smoke was too thick.
"Great." I whispered as I tried to wiggle out from the control panel and my seat. My muscles protested as I continued to free myself and it wasn't until I heard a groan not two feet from me that I somehow got a surge of strength. I managed to free myself from my temporary prison. Once I was out, I tried to stand, only to find that was a big mistake. I fell flat onto my face. Smooth, John. Very smooth. I lifted up my already throbbing head to find the source of that groan. I glanced through the smoke, trying to see when I saw Kaidan. He was up against the control panel and the wall of The Normandy. I slowly made my way toward him, calling out to him when I got closer,
"Baby, I'm here. It's okay now." He starred up at me with glossy eyes, like he wasn't looking at anything in particular. I grabbed the only free hand of his and placed a kiss on his lips. His eyes focused on me turning more lively as he gripped my hand like it was a life line.
"J-John? A-Are you ok? W-What happened?" He asked me fearfully, voice breathless. How was I supposed to answer his last question...? Instead I opted for telling him the honest truth.
"I'm fine, Kaidan. I don't know what happened. I wish I did. I don't even remember the crash." Kaidan half scoffed, half sobbed as a single tear flowed down his face. Using my other hand, I gently wiped away the tear and squeezed his hand in reassurance, for me as well as for Kaidan. I looked around the damaged and broken cockpit and wondered, 'Just what the hell happened?'
"John, where's Lydia? Is she ok?" I heard Kaidan asked in fear. I looked down at him and shook my head as I told him,
"I don't know. I'll go look for her. I'll be back." Before I leaned down and kissed his lips passionately. He glanced at me in worry but nodded in understanding. Finding Lydia was currently our biggest concern.
Carefully, I stood up, holding a chair to keep my balance, and I slowly began to search the smoldering, damaged wreckage of what was left of my plane. I searched all over but I had yet to find my daughter. I was about to head back to Kaidan, hopeless, when I caught sight of a streak of white hair sprawled across the floor. I quickly moved toward her, ignoring the pain of my quick movements, and collapsed by her side.
"Lydia? Sweetheart?" I questioned tentatively as I reached a hand to her face. She groaned and I have never felt more relieved than in that moment.
"Hey, Little Wolf." I whispered gently as I carefully lifted her into my lap and held her. I noticed she was shaking and sobbing as she was comforted by my embrace, or maybe she was in shock from the crash. I lifted her up and slowly moved back toward Kaidan before I placed her down by him. She immediately grabbed him in a hug, or as well as she could considering Kaidan was stuck in between the wall and the control panel.
"John? Baby, I'm having a hard time breathing...." he took a sharp intake of breath before he continued,
"C-Can you get me out?" I stood up, a little too quickly for my body's liking, and nearly fainted. Black spots danced before my eyes.
"John? Babe!" Kaidan cried out in worry at the same time as Lydia.
"Daddy!"
"I'm ok now, I think." I told them after the room had stopped spinning. Once I was sure I wasn't going to faint again, I moved over to Kaidan.
I tried to think of something and fast, then I thought of moving the control panel. I moved over and tried to shove the control panel out a little, so Lydia could pull him out. Somehow, I managed to move the panel just enough for Kaidan to wiggle his way out from beneath it. Once he was out, I immediately let go of the panel and looked him over.
I noticed that his leg was broken and that he had a few broken or bruised ribs. Then I looked over Lydia and noticed she was the luckiest out of the three of us. She only had a few bruised ribs and a sprained wrist. Meanwhile I had a throbbing head and broken collar bone, though I didn't know this until Kaidan pointed it out, and a very bruised body.
I knew that I had to set his leg, but I was having a hard time seeing straight. I guess I must have hit my head a little harder than I thought. I stood up and began to search the wreckage for something I could use as a splint. I searched desperately until I found two similar sized pieces of metal and a medical kit. I returned to the cockpit and began examining the leg closer. That's when I noticed Kaidan's broken leg was severely twisted to the left. I turned to Kaidan,
"Kaidan." He looked at me in worry when he noticed my tone. I continued, "Your leg... It needs to be put back in place. So I'm going to have to twist it back. I'm not going to lie." I moved closer to place my forehead on his as I whispered to him,
"Baby, it's going to hurt like nothing you've ever felt before. But I have to do it or you'll lose the leg." I kiss him passionately, trying to convey my fear and worry to him, only to receive it back tenfold. Kaidan was just as worried as I was. Then I instructed my daughter to get ready with the makeshift splints before I grabbed his leg. With both hands, I began to twist the leg and immediately Kaidan cried out in so much pain, it nearly broke my heart. I hate seeing him in pain and seeing tears fly down his cheeks made my heart almost snap in half.
Finally, with one last twist, the leg was back to normal. I immediately grabbed the splints and with Lydia's help; I wrapped his leg. Then I pulled him into a hug and rocked him back and forth. Telling him sweet nothings,
"You're alright now. It's over. I'm so sorry, my love." Kaidan held me close and sobbed so hard into my chest that all I could hear in tune with Kaidan's heart wrenching sobbing, was the sound of my own heart breaking. I had caused this. I had hurt him. I had let him down. I was such a horrible husband. I leaned down into Kaidan and also cried.