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Alec continued to walk Magnus back past the wall, he quickly undid all three buttons on the collar of Magnus’ shirt and proceeded to walk him backwards
Magnus was so caught up in the kiss and the overwhelming feeling of Alec being so forward that he momentarily forgot about his trepidations and kissed back with as much force as Alec was giving.
Alec slid his hands down Magnus’ chest until he reached the bottom of his shirt and started to slip his hands under the hem,
Magnus’ brain switched back on and he grabbed Alec’s hands with his own,
“Alexander wait” he breathed out but Alec wasn’t really listening, he just kissed Magnus on the cheek and proceeded to kiss down Magnus’ neck.
Magnus looked up at the roof, took a deep breath and took a step back with his hands stretched out towards Alec
“Alec” Magnus said with more confidence than he felt, he saw Alec’s eyes refocus as he made eye contact with Magnus and then his eyes widened and he took a step back
“oh my god I’m so sorry, I just thought this is what we should do, we’ve been having so much fun and kissing a lot and Jace had sex just this morning with a girl he doesn’t even like and I’ve got you! And I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me, but I get it, you’ve been with Casanova! Why would you want to have sex with me when I don’t know anything.”
Magnus took two steps forward until he was back in Alec’s personal space and placed his hands on either side of his face.
“Alexander look at me”
Alec slowly brought his eyes up from where they had been staring at his own feet.
“That is not it at all, I care about you more than any other person I have ever met, this isn’t about experience, it isn’t about expectations, you are perfect and I’m sure we would be perfect.”
Alec furrowed his brow and looked at Magnus confused, “then what is it?”
Magnus let out a small sigh, “It’s like what I said before, I’m afraid to rush into this and lose you”
Alec opened his mouth to speak but Magnus placed his finger in front of Alec’s lips and continued to speak,
“I know you said that wouldn’t happen, but that doesn’t mean my insecurities just disappear and I believe that with one sentence, much the same as we just learnt your insecurities about all this are very much there as well.”
Alec looked down again and realised he may not have been as ready for this as he thought.
“I really want to do this Magnus, I do, I know I’m nervous and clearly a bit worried about comparing to everyone else but if you want to wait, we can, obviously, because what I want is you”
Magnus brightened and smiled at Alec, and wondered how he got so lucky as to find Alexander.
Magnus place his hands back onto Alec’s shoulders and turned him around and continued to back him into his bedroom.
“Just because we’re not going to have sex, doesn’t mean we can’t cuddle.”
A blush rose on Alec’s cheeks and he looked down at the ground, “cuddle Magnus, really.”
“What, everyone needs a cuddle buddy sometimes, even big, bad shadowhunters.”
The back of Alec’s knees hit the bed and he sat down on the end of it and looked up, realising Magnus was now standing over him and god he looked beautiful. Alec reached his hands out, placed them on Magnus’ hips and brought him closer until Magnus was right in front of his face, Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and lay his head on Magnus’ belly and held him tight.
“I’ve never been cuddled before.”
Magnus kept one hand on Alec’s shoulder and brought one hand up to run his fingers through Alec’s hair. “Darling I guarantee you’ll love it, and you deserve it.”
Magnus brought his hand out of Alec’s hair and ran it gently down the side of his face until it was at his chin and he tilted Alec’s head up until he was looking at him, as he leant down and gave him a soft kiss on the lips he whispered “lie down Alexander.”
So Alec did, he shifted back until his head was on one of the pillows and lied straight out with his hands linked on his stomach, he was rigged and nervous and it didn’t seem relaxing.
Magnus chuckled at the sight and toed his shoes off his feet and walked around to the other side of the bed, he sat down on the edge and lied down next to Alec so that their elbows were touching. Magnus then tilted his head so that he was looking at Alec, only to find him already staring back.
“Now what?” Alec asked.
Magnus smiled, “now we cuddle my dear.”
Magnus shifted closer to Alec, took Alec’s arm that was the closest to him off of his stomach and laid it next to him and he shuffled on top of his arm he then placed his hand on Alec’s opposite shoulder and pulled gently until Alec got the idea and rolled onto his side so that he was facing Magnus. He then slipped his hand underneath Alec’s neck and intertwined their legs. Alec brought his other arm over onto Magnus’ waist on his own and Magnus did the same onto Alec. Magnus shifted himself the final inch so that their noses were touching and let out a small sigh and completely relaxed.
“Relax Alexander, you’re allowed to enjoy this.”
Alec was too busy staring at Magnus’s face this close to notice that he was still not relaxing, he closed his eyes and let himself sink into the bed and into Magnus’ embrace. This is what he wanted, the closeness, the intimacy and this feeling. He was glad Magnus had stopped them, they would get there, someday, probably not too far into the future but why skip all the steps in between if this is what it entailed. Being wrapped up in the arms of his beautiful warlock on this comfy bed, there was nothing else he would rather be doing.