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It had all been Jungkook’s idea.
Well technically, with all things considered, it was all because of Taehyung saying that it would be really cool if they tried it out in the first place. The idea was merely an offhanded comment on Taehyung’s side, but the prospect that it probably would get them all in trouble started to scare Taehyung a bit that he was ready to take it back, but Jungkook grinning at him and saying “let’s do it” was what sealed off the deal.
“I’m going to finish writing a million letters before you do.” Jungkook juts his chin out, the defiant look in his eyes sporting the competitive streak he has. “And I’m going to get all the Big Bang merchandise I’ve always wanted after that.”
Taehyung’s not so much the overeager, winning-streak hungry brat that Jungkook is, but it was Namjoon who had told them that writing a million letters to someone would give them a chance for their wish to be granted, so he wants to do it.
Namjoon, whose name was practically in the mouths of every mom in their neighbourhood, wishing that their children were a lot more like him. Namjoon, who had always been at the top 1% of his school; Namjoon, who was labelled to be the future of their neighbourhood.
And Taehyung and Jungkook believed him, of course—Namjoon seemed to know the answer to everything, and would therefore probably know the truth about every secret tucked along the edges of the universe.
But a few months into sending out their letters, they realize that maybe Namjoon wasn’t some kind of deity that knew the secrets to the world; that maybe Namjoon was just some smart kid in some small neighbourhood in Seoul, and that he didn’t know everything the world has to offer.
The idea was to write to a random person, because sending out a million letters to someone they actually knew could backfire on them a little too easily. It was difficult to just choose some random address because they knew that if the address did not exist, the letters will get sent back to the sender (this was what happened to the fan letters that Jungkook tried to send over to Big Bang with an address that he just made up, at least), and they know they couldn’t risk it. So instead, Taehyung takes out the phone book from their living room and pores through it with Jungkook, leafing through the yellow pages with such care while looking for prospective recipients.
Jungkook sees the name of a bakery and immediately claims it as his recipient, eyes sparkling when he realizes that it’s actually in Busan. It takes Taehyung a little more time to look for the name of whatever place he wants to send his letters too, more preoccupied with the feel of the name around his tongue when he says it out loud instead of wherever it is located.
The Min’s was a coffee shop that was still in Seoul but was a few neighbourhoods far from theirs—located in some place that was more affluent than their small district, no doubt—but looking at it makes something click Taehyung’s mind and it feels just right. So he copies the address down in a spare sheet of paper using a pencil, hands still itching for the time when he will be in high school and finally allowed to use a pen instead.
It’s later that night, when Taehyung is sure that his grandparents are asleep that he squirms out of his bed sheets and slips out of bed to turn the study lamp beside his bed on, armed with pencils and the stationary set that Jungkook’s aunt had gotten for him the previous Christmas (but had instead given to Taehyung because he says he has a lot of those at home). He stares at the blank piece of paper for a moment, save for the prints of flowers along the borders. The tip of his pencil hovers over the piece of paper and it’s only now that he realizes that he doesn’t know what to write.
It’s not like Taehyung doesn’t know how to write—he’s in the seventh grade now, and writing comes easy to him already. It’s not like he doesn’t have anything to say, either—even when faced with strangers, Taehyung always has some form of greeting to give out, or something to add so the conversation wouldn’t pull into a lull and come up in a dead end. It is, probably, however, that he doesn’t know what to say first.
The idea hits him sooner rather than later, and he starts writing out, the scratching sound of graphite against paper resounding in the dead of the night, but not loud enough to wake someone up.
Dear whoever you may be,
Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung. I’m turning twelve in a few months. I have a lot of hobbies, like collecting old coins and playing with my dogs, or fighting the forces of evil with Jungkookie. I play the saxophone too, sometimes. And I listen to Namjoon hyung talking about the stars a lot. It sounds boring if I just say it like this, but I promise it’s really fascinating!
Sorry I randomly took your address out of the phone book. Namjoonie hyung says that sending out 1 million letters to someone will make my wish come true, so I’m sending you one! I still have 999,999 letters to write, but I probably won’t notice it anymore after I’ve sent all the letters already.
Do you want to know what my wish is? You should write back to me!
Taehyung.
P.S. I want to know your wish too, if you have one!
P.P.S. if you reply to every letter I send you, then that means you’ll be getting a wish too! Don’t you want your wish to come true?
Jungkook writes another letter right away after they go together with Namjoon to the post office to send their letter, and although Namjoon laughs at how excited Jungkook is with an endeared gleam in his eyes, he doesn’t dissuade him otherwise.
Taehyung isn’t the patient type of person, but he plans to wait for at least five days for a reply before he starts writing out the second letter.
Less than a week later, when Jungkook’s already sent out five letters but hasn’t gotten any reply yet, Taehyung checks their mailbox again for a letter addressed to him—even goes to tug at the mailman’s sleeve to ask him if he has a letter for Taehyung that he’s just misplaced.
The mailman looks at him with a sad smile on his face, patting his head and saying, “Sometimes, the things we want so much to arrive won’t come until it’s the right time. You should wait a little bit longer.” Before leaving with a messenger bag slung around his shoulders, and a few small boxes of packages in his hands.
But Taehyung’s greatest trait isn’t patience, and later that night, he proceeds to write another letter once more.
Dear whoever you may be,
I hope you send me a letter in reply so I would know what to call you! Are you older than me? I feel like you’re a hyung, even though I don’t know what you look like.
If you’re an ahjussi, I would still want to call you hyung. If you’re an ahjumma, or perhaps, a noona, would you mind if I call you hyung? I really want a hyung. I’m the only child in my family and my parents are always away for work. I can’t really call my grandfather hyung, right?
But you know, my parents called last night and said that I might be getting a younger brother! Someone is going to finally be calling me hyung! How cool is that?
Still though, I kind of want to call you hyung. You give off that vibe. Even when you’re not replying to me haha.
Write me a letter so I would know if I’m right or not!
Taehyung.
P.S. if you’re actually younger than me, then don’t bother thinking about it
P.P.S. just kidding. I’ll reconsider that if you’re actually taller than me.
It’s the first time Jungkook gets a reply from the bakery back in Busan, and he’s ecstatic to read his letter that he doesn’t let it go—just holds it tightly in his hands, as if it were his lifeline that Namjoon has to tell him to loosen his grip a bit because he’s going to end up crumpling it.
And of course Jungkook heeds Namjoon’s warning and smooths the flimsy piece of envelope in his hands, containing the treasure that he considers the letter is. Taehyung’s kind of jealous as to why Jungkook would readily listen to whatever Namjoon says when if it’s him, Jungkook would probably ignore him (or worse: try to tackle him to the ground). They’re both older than Jungkook and although Namjoon is older than him, still, they only have a year of age difference between them—it’s not like Namjoon is older than them by decades.
When Namjoon pats the top of Jungkook’s head and smiles his dimply smile, Jungkook looks back up at him and grins back, bunny teeth showing. And Taehyung isn’t sure what he’s more jealous of—the fact that Namjoon seems more fond of Jungkook than him, the fact that Jungkook looks up to Namjoon and treats his words like some kind of universal truth, or the fact that Jungkook has received a letter in reply when Taehyung has to go back home—empty-handed yet again.
Dear whoever you may be,
Jungkookie received a letter today. He started writing letters to someone too, like I did (I think he secretly looks up to me—see how he’s copying me? Kekeke). His was from a bakery in Busan. I don’t know who wrote reply or what they wrote there, but Jungkook was really excited. Maybe he got sent some coupons for free bread? Jungkook wouldn’t find it too difficult to go there even if it’s far away—he’s from Busan!
I’m from Daegu but we moved to Kojang and then went back to Daegu and now we’re here in Seoul! How about you, where are you from? Have you always lived in Seoul? “Min” doesn’t sound like a surname taken up by people from Seoul though. But no offense meant! It’s just that I haven’t heard that surname much from around here.
The Min’s sounded like a place for rich people, but I don’t feel like you’ll be one of those mean, snobbish ones at all! I guess you’re not just replying because you still feel wary that I might be some weird person. But don’t worry, I’m not here to take any of your kidneys! I’m really still in middle school! And I don’t like lying so everything I’ve told you was the truth!
If you send me a reply, will you send me coupons from your coffee shop too? Hehehehe. No pressure though! (But if you really do, that would be awesome! I’ve always wanted to go to Apgujeong!)
Taehyung.
P.S. Do you have cats in your café? Because I just love cats!!! So much!!!!
P.P.S. I’m actually more of a dog person but!!! Animals are so cute!!! They’re the best!! Whatever it is, I love them!
P.P.P.S. But seriously, if you have cats in your café, please send me a photo or two!
It’s the first time that Taehyung sees Jungkook cry. Or rather, it’s the first time that Taehyung sees Jungkook cry and acknowledge it, because a snot-nosed Jungkook who’s struggling to wipe away the tears in his eyes while hiccupping is hard to ignore. It’s not the first time that Jungkook had cried in front of him, really—they’ve known each other ever since Jungkook’s family moved in to the neighbourhood from Busan back when he was five and Taehyung seven, and although Jungkook likes to pretend that he’s strong, he’s still a kid who wears his heart on his sleeve but tries to cover it up with his hands because he’s scared that if people find out his true self, they’d stay away from him.
It’s also the first time in four years that Jungkook openly acknowledges crying, clinging on to Taehyung’s shirt and burying his face in the older boy’s neck when the latter asks him what was wrong. All those times in between, Jungkook would always say that he’s just got something stuck in his eyes, like sand or a twig or a whole tree.
Jungkook relaxes when Taehyung rubs soothing circles in his back, trying to calm him down, and moments later, Namjoon arrives with a wild look in his eyes, hair stuck in different directions and panting, like he’s been running.
A look of relief passes over Namjoon’s face when he sees Jungkook and Taehyung, and Taehyung can’t help but notice the piece of paper that Namjoon’s clutching tightly in his hands.
“Later,” Namjoon seems to say through his eyes, and Taehyung nods. He wants to know what happened, of course, but for now, he lets Jungkook cry in his arms.
Dear whoever you may be,
It’s only been a day since I last sent you a letter, but something’s been bothering me ever since.
Remember my friend Jungkook? I told you before in my last letter that he received a response from the person he sent the letter to, right? Well apparently, the person who got his letters was a big meanie. I thought he’d sent Jungkookie some coupons for free food but instead he asked Jungkookie to stop writing him letters because it’s all piling up in his mailbox and he says it’s getting really annoying. I don’t get why some people have to be so mean.
I haven’t received any replies from you at all, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. I don’t even know if you moved because I haven’t been to that place at all. But I think it’s better that I’m not getting any replies from you than getting one and it being a rejection of you telling me to stop writing. At least that means that somehow—if you’re really reading my letters—that you care. Because we’re friends, right?
Right?
Well, even if we’re not, we should totally be friends. I’ll make sure you have fun!
Write something back soon, okay?
Taehyung.
After the fiasco with Jungkook’s letters, Jungkook had stopped writing to anyone altogether. Things go back to normal, except things aren’t really like they were before.
Jungkook starts getting reserved; stops clinging on to Namjoon (or even Taehyung) when he would usually whine into their ear or tease them over something; doesn’t even ask them to buy him food anymore.
He continues to brush it off as nothing, but Taehyung knows that he’s been deeply hurt by what happened. Jungkook’s new behaviour doesn’t settle well with him, but he thinks maybe Namjoon is right—that Jungkook just needs a little more time to let time heal the wounds inflicted by a bad memory.
Namjoon, although he doesn’t Taehyung to stop, admits that he didn’t believe it the first time he found out about Taehyung continuing to send letters to that anonymous person, even when they never write back. “I thought you’d be bored about it, to be honest.” He says, breaths coming out in white puffs as he looks up at the night sky. The cold winter air freezes Taehyung’s bones and makes his teeth chatter, but he doesn’t want to go home yet—not when Namjoon looks like he needs someone to talk to. “You always struck me as the type to like variety over routine.”
Taehyung shrugs. “Every day is a new day. A new chance to begin all over again. Isn’t that enough variety?”
And then Namjoon laughs, although it sounds more like a cough than his usual. Taehyung pats him on the back to help him, and Namjoon shoots him a grateful smile. “I wasn’t expecting a really thought out answer.”
“Because I always laugh everything off?” Taehyung asks, and when Namjoon gives him a sheepish grin in reply, he leans back on his arms. “Well, let’s just say that you’re rubbing off on me.”
“It’s true, though.” Namjoon says after a while, and when Taehyung looks at him, the usual look on his face isn’t there—the one where he looks conflicted; like he’s carrying the weight of the world in his shoulders. “You’re right.” He looks more at ease this time around, and Taehyung isn’t sure if it’s because he’s already confessed that writing a million letters to someone and having your wishes come true was only a myth and apologizing to both him and Jungkook for making it sound so real, or because of something else.
Taehyung doesn’t know if it’s the guilt or that his recipient has finally stopped being lazy enough to write him back, but nevertheless, when he receives a letter for the first time in a month in the mail, his hands are shaking so badly that he drops the letter twice.
Min Yoongi, it says on the envelope, along with the address of the coffee shop. Taehyung’s holds his breath, carefully tracing the letters with a shaking fingertip. “So that’s his name,” he mumbles to himself.
Taehyung tries to be the calm, collected type, but excitement is thrumming so much in his veins that he rips the envelope a little too unceremoniously. It’s almost close to a miracle that the letter doesn’t end up getting ripped apart.
He swallows hard, but the lump of nervousness in his throat refuses to budge, and he tries to calm himself by breathing through his nose. “It’s okay,” he tells himself. “It’s just a letter.”
Except now it’s not just a letter, but a letter that he’s been waiting for a long time, from someone he doesn’t know but would like to know.
The handwriting is quite neat, but also quite unreadable—the strokes were thin, like the pen used to write on the paper either had little ink in it or this person just doesn’t like pressing the tip of the pen harder like normal people would do. Nevertheless, Taehyung reads it all up, eyes going through every single word so he doesn’t miss a thing.
Taehyung,
I’m sorry I didn’t write back to you. I’ll admit, at first the thought of someone I didn’t know sending me letters crept me out, but the more I got to read your letters, I found them less annoying.
You’re kind of a shitty writer. I mean, your handwriting’s not really good. It’s kind of messy and hard to read and I get confused over something that it takes me a few days to figure something out sometimes. But still, I read them. And it’s not out of obligation. But please, write your letters more legibly.
I’m in high school already, so I’m definitely your hyung. I have no idea if you’re taller than me or not, but whatever, I’m still your hyung. Don’t think of calling me otherwise.
We don’t have cats in our café, but my friends tell me I look like a cat. Is that enough?
I’m looking forward to your next letter.
Yoongi.
“He could have just told me that he liked reading my letters.” Taehyung snorts. But still, he’s grinning.
Dear Yoongi hyung,
Yoongi hyung! Yay! I finally got a name out of you! I’m glad you finally sent me a reply. Took you long enough hahaha.
By the way, my birthday’s on the 30th! I would send you some invitations if there was a party, but there isn’t one haha. We’re not rich so we don’t have that much money. But still, I hope that you mark it down somewhere (like in your calendar, or in your notebook) so you can remember me!
(It’s not like I’m expecting a present from you, but yes I AM EXPECTING A PRESENT FROM YOU)
Taehyung.
P.S. You still haven’t told me your wish! I want to know!
The next reply that Taehyung gets from Yoongi isn’t any lengthier than his previous letter—in fact, it’s only a strip of purple paper that looks like it’s been ripped out of a memo pad. Yoongi’s probably not a man of words, but when Taehyung reads what’s written in the note, he feels confused, more than ever.
Taehyung,
The 28th. Don’t worry.
Yoongi.
It’s two days before Taehyung’s birthday when it happens.
There’s a knock on the door, and Taehyung gets up from being seated in front of the television, yelling out to his grandmother that he’s going to get the door, just in case she hears the incessant knocking and gets distracted from cooking.
When he opens it, an unfamiliar boy that’s just about his height is standing in front of him, hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket and the half of his face covered by a scarf. He looks younger than Taehyung—or probably just because he has a smaller frame—but the look on his face tells Taehyung that he isn’t someone to be messed with.
“Kim Taehyung?” he asks in a raspy voice that sounds a little too deep to belong to a boy as young-looking as him. He sounds tired, but determined look in his eyes tells Taehyung that he’s well-aware and is waiting for Taehyung’s response.
“Yes?”
The boy lets out a laugh that sounds like a grunt at first, but then he pulls his scarf down to reveal pink gums and cracked lips and a smile that makes the beauty of the snowflakes falling behind him look like a fake backdrop. “I’m Min Yoongi.”
“You’re—“Taehyung starts, but doesn’t get to finish, mouth gaping. He’s too surprised to say anything, and Yoongi starts full on laughing.
“Yeah, it’s me.” He clears his throat, but the smile is still on his face. He hands Taehyung an envelope, and it suspiciously looks like one of the letters that Taehyung has sent him. Taehyung takes it with shaking hands, and now, he isn’t sure if it’s because of the cold or his nerves.
Dear Yoongi hyung,
Namjoon hyung told me before that maybe there’s an alternate universe out there—one that is just like this one, but not really. It’s a mirror of reality, but it’s not really like this reality at all.
Do you think, in that universe, we’ve already met? I hope that we’re close friends there.
I think we might really be close friends there. Do you think we could be close friends here as well?
Taehyung.
Taehyung’s eyes are glassy when he looks back at Yoongi, but he blinks them all away. He can’t just cry in front of Yoongi—he can’t just cry in front of this person who he’s always dreamt of meeting, especially not now that they’ve finally met.
“You haven’t answered some of my questions.” Taehyung says dumbly, still kind of a little awestruck that he’s seeing Yoongi now.
“My wish?” Yoongi says, and when Taehyung nods, he shrugs. “To feel better.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything, waiting for Yoongi to explain himself further, but the explanation doesn’t come. At least, not yet.
But when Yoongi crosses his arms over his chest, looking so small swaddled up in his jacket and scarf and giving him a look like a little too close to being fond, he thinks he understands. “Thank you for always writing to me. I’m feeling better because of you.”