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Mark and Youngjae. Youngjae and Mark.
That’s the way it was, has been since they were 4, and will be for as long as they live.
The kids were inseparable since Youngjae’s first day of school, Marks shy and timid nature sparking an interest in Youngjae and drawing him towards the slightly older boy. The gapped tooth sunshine was often told by his mother that he was a good judge of character, and so he should trust his gut when deciding who to make friends with; and so he nodded enthusiastically, bookbag in hand and only a slightly watery grin as he waddled towards his new beginning, trusting the words with all his innocent little heart. He had stepped back to skim the likes of the other children, and a certain brunette hidden in the corner, knees tucked in to his chest, caught his eye. Mark seemed nice, and he was, but he also seemed lonely, and he was.
But that all changed the moment the four year old Youngjae marched with confidence towards the boy, stuck his hand out while offering a toothy grin that made his eyes turn into crescents, and said “I’m Choi Youngjae. Let’s be friends!”
And friends they were. The best of friends, to this day.
Mark ruffled his best friends hair with a wide smile before placing his lunchbox on the table and taking his usual seat to Youngjae’s left. “Hey, sunshine.” He chirped the nickname in such a way that made Youngjae believe it was the older’s favourite word to say, the technique in which it rolled off of his tongue like it was silk on his lips, squeezing the victims gut all too harshly. The byname had been given to him by his hyung when they first met- Youngjae was sixteen now, making Mark seventeen. He brushed off the frightening thoughts, telling himself he would review it later, proceeding to beam back (Youngjae wouldn’t admit to himself that it was slightly fake) and exclaim with what he hoped was a strong voice.
“Hey, hyung! My mum made your favourite dumplings again- here, this one’s yours.” Plucking the food out of his own lunchbox with delicate care, he offered it to Mark with pride.
“Oh, n-no, Youngjae. It’s yours, you should eat it!” The happy virus rolled his eyes with a light chuckle, tutting as if that was the dumbest thing he could have said.
“No, silly. This one’s yours- mum made extra just for you. She knows how much you love them.” The curve of Mark’s lips was something no one could ignore, the perfect shape warming the hearts of even the coldest people- speaking of which, as if on cue, Jaebum plopped down on the opposite side in which Jackson was occuping a space. Jaebum was nice and cuddly at heart, no matter the front he put up, and Youngjae was thankful that it was him that he showed the side to. He liked understanding people, a factor he had not yet been able too apply to himself.
With only a moments hesitation and a too obvious deep breath, the eldest of the group parted his lips and looked at his sunshine expectedly. Although a giggle bubbled in his chest, Youngjae leaned forward and fed Mark the dumpling, enjoying the way his eyes closed and the way the appreciative sounds hummed through the treat and rattled through the bones of Youngjae’s fingers.
“Eugh, get a room, guys. Seriously, some of us are trying to eat.” Jaebum grumbled, pretending to shield his eyes as he chowed down on a lump of rice.
“Don’t be such a dick, Jaebum. I think they’re cute.” Jacksons voice seemed genuine, and both boys that played a part in the drama like scene blushed a deep shade of red.
“Fuck off, man.” Mark mumbled, head down as he occupied himself with coating his chicken in a heavy amount of sauce.
“Yeah, f-fuck off.” Youngjae retaliated, only making his cheeks burn further. He felt like he would faint any second, but he lowered his own gaze before anything more could be said, only just catching a glimpse of the furrowing of the raven haired boys eyebrows and Jackson’s cheeky chuckle.
The rest of lunch passed by in a flash, Jackson and Jaebum’s usual flirtatious insulting filling up half of the silence that Mark and Youngjae created, the other half being sounds of food being munched and swallowed in a quick pace. It seemed like seconds had passed when the bell rang loudly throughout the school, causing students to stand and shuffle their way to their last two lessons like zombies in a herd. The two J’s said their goodbyes before starting on their journey, hands brushing just the slightest but enough for Youngjae to notice. He was happy for them, his rosy lips twitching at the sides.
“I’ll see you at our usual place?” Mark questioned, although he didn’t need conformation- their routine hadn’t changed since they were six.
“Yep! Have a good lesson, hyung.” This made Mark perk up slightly.
“You too, cutie.”
The oldest strolled away hastily, turning the corner before Youngjae could process what had just happened. Cutie? That...was new. That was definitely new.
“Thank you, class. I know it’s a Friday afternoon but you worked hard. That’s all for today.” Mr Lee’s voice droned in a broken record, giving the students the cue to start up their conversations that slowly mixed together to create one buzz of jumbled voices.
Youngjae made quick work of packing his books into his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder and almost skipping towards the door. The lesson had dragged on too long, leaving the boy a lot of time to think; something he didn’t like doing recently. Something had changed, he knew that much. But he couldn’t put a finger on what had changed exactly. And the more he thought about it, the more he felt the answer float away from his grasp.
He leaned against the wall just a few paces away from the school gates, the usual place he met Mark after school on Fridays, unwrapping a lollipop and rolling it against his tongue as he waited. The end of the week was different to other days- it was their day. They would meet at the same wall, walk the same route, get the same bus, and arrive at the same Tuan house each time. They would play the same video games, watch the same movies, eat the same popcorn (homemade by Mark- he always knew the perfect amount of toffee to drizzle over the already sugared snack to savour Youngjae’s sweet tooth), and they would curl up in the same position and fall asleep in the same way. Mark was always the big spoon.
“Can I taste?” The low, thrilling voice sliced through Youngjae’s thoughts, leaving him speechless as he looked up at Mark. The elder didn’t wait for his reply, tweaking the sweet out of his slack jaw with little force and slowly ran it against his own tongue, mouth open for the younger to witness the whole thing. Youngjae gulped at the sight, mouth hanging open as he stared at Mark with awe, eyes doe like. “Mmm, raspberry.” Their eyes met when the taller opened them from his moment of bliss, giggling intoxicatingly at his best friends reaction before popping it back into the original owners mouth. “You ready, sunshine?” Youngjae could only nod slowly as his tongue readjusted to the taste of the sweet that suddenly seemed all too strong in flavour.
They moved quickly, pretending it was so they wouldn’t miss the bus, but both knew it was so they had more time at the house alone. Marks father wouldn’t arrive home until late at night, way into the teenagers movie marathon, the mother of the family returning only a little earlier to pass on the regular pizza boxes before locking herself into her study to work further. His siblings would disperse in their own ways, each having their own repetitive Friday plan just like them, and returning over the next two days at unset times. In little time the boys were stumbling onto the bus and searching for two empty seats, Mark taking the seat near the window as always. Without any words shared, the elder pulled out his earphones, plugged them into his mobile and wiggled one into Youngjae’s ear before shuffling his music.They sat in comfortable silence as the vehicle moved sluggishly along, occasionally rocking them side to side and back and forth, stopping at a few stops that woke the ashen figures around them as they dragged their feet away. Their Friday had gone as plan, nothing changing in their routine, but there was a subtle shift in the air as the sun started setting and tinges of loud oranges and dusty pinks shadowed Marks face. And suddenly he wasn’t the Mark that Youngjae met when he was four. He was seventeen year old Mark, aged and rapidly but awkwardly fitting into his body. Youngjae questioned when his jaw got sharper, and when it had first created a small shadow of barely noticeable stubble. He wondered when the slope of his nose had smoothed out into a gentle curve that would put all pieces of architecture to shame. Had his lips always been so plump and a delicate shade of shadowy yet blooming red? And when did his hair initiate the framing of his face so gently, so much so that it brought out his immense chocolate eyes, tricking his own to believe they sparkled with the stars most interesting secrets?
It was when a song that Youngjae had heard played by Mark often on this journey, though he never found out who it was by, that the brunette to his left swiftly intertwined their fingers together, giving his smaller hand a soft squeeze. Youngjae’s eyes widened, and he dared to look up at Mark clearer, but that one was staring out of the window and refused to make eye contact. And for some reason, Youngjae didn’t mind.
The boys stood in unison as they pulled up to their stop, the small yet welcoming Tuan house in sight in the distance. Their hands stayed linked as Youngjae lead the other down and off the bus, jumping off with a spring in his step fuelled by their subtle but thrilling skin ship. The younger could feel hear his heart thrumming in his ears, threatening to burst out of his chest, but he did his best to control his breathing and shot his hyung a comfortable smile. They started the short walk to Marks house, thumbs having a miniature thumb war and making them giggle indirectly. Mark trapped Youngjae’s thumb mercilessly, celebrating his victory with a booming “woo!” and the most stunning grin one could witness. When they reached the door, the smaller went to unloop their contact, but Marks pretty eyebrows knitted together and he just tightened his grip, shaking his head. “Your hand feels nice.” he muttered, and he acted as if he didn’t see the tinting of his dongsaeng’s rounded cheeks as he fumbled to twist the key in the lock.
---
“You cheated!”
“No I didn’t!”
“Mark, attacking someone who’s AFK and getting all your points from that is cheating.”
“It’s not my fault he wasn’t playing.” the older mumbled, but a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. Youngjae just rolled his eyes in response, tutting sarcastically.
“Fine, be a cheater. I know you have to cheat to win so if it ma-”
“I DON’T HAVE TO CHEAT TO WIN!” Mark was pouting now, dark brows knitting together and dark locks falling in front of his eyes. The youngest couldn’t help the squeak that rose from his throat at the adorable sight, one in which he quickly disguised as a scoff as if holding back laughter. This only added fuel to the fire as his hyung lurched forward on the bed, un-phased by the screams as he locked Youngjae in a headlock. “What was that, sunshine?”
“Nothing, hyung!” the younger chirped innocently, craning his neck to flash the attacker with a breathtakingly shiny grin. “I’m sure you could pass all the levels really quickly on your own in casual mode.” Mark only had the energy to roll his eyes, followed by a scoff as he growled down in Youngjae’s direction,
“Oh please, I could complete this game with my eyes closed, at expert level.”
“Prove it.” The elders eyebrows flew up at the challenge, a smirk playing on his lips as the cogs turned in his brain, letting go of the hold to sit back next to his best friend; although a little closer than before.
“Okay. I’ll offer you a deal.” Youngjae felt the urge to pull back when Mark leaned in...so why didn’t he?
“W-w...what kind of d-deal?”
“I'll play the next level in expert mode with only one mod. If I lose, you get first choice of pizza slices.” Youngjae licked his lips at the thought, biting back a grin as he felt his mouth water- that did sound appealing. “But if I win...” he continued, a playful twang in his tone, “you have to kiss me.”
The maknae almost choked on his own breath, eyes growing ten times in size as he examined the olders face with shock written across his skin. Youngjae could tell when Mark was lying, upset, happy, or joking. He wasn’t joking. Before he could comprehend the situation or open his mouth to protest, Mark was staring up at the TV, controller in hand as he hastily tapped away at the buttons. His perfect, sharp teeth were on show as he stuck his tongue out in concentration, hardly blinking in fear of becoming vulnerable to the NPC’s. Youngjae felt it again- the change. He started to notice the way Marks eyebrows knitted in adorable concentration, creating narrow creases in his forehead. His eyelashes were long and thick, and when they met his cheeks for less than a second in a fluttering blink they constructed a magnificent shadow in which only defined his sharp cheekbones further. His jaw was sharp, too, and Youngjae had to stop himself from reaching out and running his finger along the line delicately. It was his lips, however, that made the boy hold his breath. His beautiful, beautiful lips. Ones in which possessed a soft but defined cupid bows, pouty in comparison to Youngjae’s own, and full at the bottom lip. The dark haired boy wondered what it would be like to nibble at it. Perhaps kissing Mark Yien Tuan, his best friend since he was four, wouldn’t be so bad.
As if on cue, Mark let out a howling roar that Youngjae assumed was a cheer, gulping down the minimal moisture left in his mouth from staring at his hyung with his jaw dropped. The oldest chuckled to himself for a moment, flicking through his achievements on the screen to distract himself from the situation he had put himself in- it wasn’t a bad one, not at all, he had actually been waiting for the opportunity for months. But to suddenly have it becoming a reality...
“S-so...” Youngjae mumbled after a few heavily silent moments. Truth is, both boys wanted this to happen. In fact, they longed for it to happen, and the time ticking away was only making them more anxious. But Mark didn’t want Youngjae to feel uncomfortable, and Youngjae only felt it was right that the older took control- it was his deal, after all.
“So...” Mark echoed, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, Youngjae’s wide and curious eyes following the action intently. The former shifted his body on his bed slightly, so he was facing his best friend. Was this really happening? Was he actually going to kiss his long time crush, and who he believed to be his soulmate, Choi Youngjae? “I-” he started, but was cut off by a (nervous) high pitched form of words.
“It’s okay. Just...just do it.” Mark nodded, clearing his throat and allowing his tongue to dart out to wet his lips. He trailed his eyes down to Youngjae’s mouth, trying to ignore the shaking in his hands as he lifted one to place on the latters cheek. His other hand fell awkwardly in his lap, but neither seemed to take any notice. The younger was frozen to his spot, forcing himself to close his eyes as the other boy got closer, hands almost flailing but bundling up in his sweater paws instead.
And then their lips touched. It was soft, so so soft, and neither participants dared to move, but it felt right. It felt safe. Mark was so infatuated with how smooth the others lips were, almost mewling at the feeling of the younger relaxing into the touch and causing them to be pressed further together. They sat with their mouths touching and their hearts racing, breathing falling into a rhythm before Mark lifted his other hand to Youngjae’s waist. Lips started to become active, multiple pecks being given and gradually turning into closed mouthed, lingering kisses. With a tug on the youngers jumper, Mark rose to his knees, the other following as he chased his lips. Youngjae whimpered when Marks tongue brushed along his bottom lip, but he quickly opened his mouth in response and advanced with open lips filled with urgency.
Their tongues danced as soon as contact was made, the warmth and taste of the elder making Youngjae whimper gently. Mark used his hand around the boys waist to pull their bodies closer, clothed chests banging together and causing their teeth to clatter. It was soon pushed to the side, however, when Mark titled his head to deepen the kiss, Youngjae finding his arms snaking around the older boys neck. The elder made quick work of pushing the other down, positioning himself in between his legs and propping himself up on his hands as he felt Youngjae’s knees squeeze his hips slightly. Mark stopped a needy whine surfacing from the back of his throat and instead nudged the youngers chin with his nose to allow him access to his pale neck. The latter happily, only a little bit scared, obliged, tensing up at the way his best friends teeth nipped at his sensitive skin generously. Mark noticed this immediately and stopped his actions, eyes wide with worry as he met a pair of confused and possibly annoyed ones. “I-is this okay?” the older rushed out, cursing the way his voice wobbled. Youngjae’s face soon turned, a giant grin spreading across his bee stung lips and a bright giggle shivering down Marks spine.
“Of course, silly.”
“Are you sure?” The younger nodded enthusiastically.
“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” Mark felt the reddening in his cheeks, lowering his head as he mumbled a passing ‘shut up’ before biting playfully at Youngjae’s pulse point as revenge. Their lips were soon reconnected, their muscles fighting for dominance and making both giggle into the others mouths. Everything was so surreal, the reality of their reciprocated feelings not yet sinking in, but the fear of being woken from his dream only surged Mark on, hands sliding down momentarily to squeeze at the others thighs that slowly wrapped themselves around his own waist and pressing his chest down stronger. Mark had only been tipsy once at a small Christmas family gathering last year, his older sisters daring him to down a plastic cup of (admittedly gross) stray wine, but suddenly he felt drunk and he knew the cause was Youngjae. He tasted sweet, like the raspberry lollipop he was rolling against his tongue earlier, sherbet mixed in and almost making Mark grimace at the sharpness, but the softness and calm flavour of vanilla coming to play. Overall, it was magical, and the older boy couldn’t push down the butterflies that rose in his stomach. He wanted more, more, mo-
“Boys, I’m home!” Youngjae yelped as the sound of Marks mothers voice pierced through their intimate moment, the older of the two jumping back and scrawling off of his best friend with a sudden urgency, nearly smacking his head against the shelf situated by his bed side. Both males hair was ruffed up and messy, their lips wet and bruised from the constant greedy kissing. “Come and get your pizza!” Mark took one look at Youngjae and screeched, eyes flying wide open at the sight of his dishevelled guest.
“C-coming!” The reply came out as too much of a shrill, definitely too weak, and his eyes didn’t leave Youngjae’s, their eyes mirroring panic. “We should...uh...”
“Y-yeah.” There was a moment of silence before the boys scrambled to their feet, bounding down the stairs to layer the awkwardness with loud greetings and a string of questions bombarded towards Mrs Tuan. She soon caught on to their lingering, huffing something about odd teenage hormones (that caused Marks cheeks to burn) before shooing them away, demanding that she had ‘extra work that good for nothing colleagues should’ve done a week ago’ to take care of.
Soon they found themselves right back where they started, sitting next to each other in painful quiet that was attempted to be filled by the murmuring of a movie that neither were paying attention to. Mark knew he had to say something at some point, and avoiding it was just making it worse, but many things were flying through his head and he couldn’t slow them enough to form a normal sentence. Instead he opted for a subtle slip of his hand, curling it around Youngjae’s just like he did on the bus, giving a light squeeze before looking to see the youngers reaction. He sighed in relief to see that he was being flashed a wide smile, beautiful eyes turning into small crescents and whiskering crinkles at the corners as his nose scrunched in glee. “Is this okay? Are...we okay?”
Youngjae’s laugh howled through the room as he nodded quickly, tugging on his crushes hand to pull him closer. “Yeah, now come and cuddle me, you big doofus.”
Mark didn’t have to be asked twice as he slotted his body behind Youngjae’s, tucking an arm around his slim waist and burying his face in the boys soft neck. They fit like puzzle pieces, breathing slowing into one steady and harmonious rhythm, their fingers lacing together as they fell into a peaceful sleep.