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"Breathe, Cas." Sam reminded Castiel as he sat beside him on the couch. "You're doing a good job, buddy."
Dean squeezed his hand on his best friend's knee to let him know he was there too. "Look at you, you're doing great." Dean praised.
Castiel rocked slightly, his arms crossed over his chest. He was rubbing circles into his vagus nerve. Cas tried to slow his breathing and ground himself with little help. Sam and Dean were going through exercises with him for a few weeks now so he could calm himself in a crisis if the boys weren't there to help. His anxiety was slowly becoming more manageable through the help of the Winchesters and his therapist.
Cas shuddered and clawed into his chest as the worst washed over him.
"Hey, loosen the claws there, Wolverine. Don't hurt yourself." Dean prompted him.
"Sorry." Cas choked out as he slacked his muscles a bit. Another shock of pure adrenaline shot through Cas's veins, leading him to groan; His face twisted in discomfort. He sucked in a small amount of oxygen before beginning to hold his breath again. Willing his attack to stop.
Sam leaned over to take Castiel's pulse. "You're doing better. You're gonna be okay, it'll be over soon."
Dean gazed over Cas's hunched shoulder to Sam. 'How much longer do you think?' Dean mouthed at Sam.
'A few minutes more, maybe?' Sam mouthed back in reply.
Sam was right, it didn't take much longer for Cas to settle. He went lax as it began to fade. Castiel's body still had a slight uncomfortable tremble to it making him nauseous, though that was quite normal. However still unpleasant.
Dean perked up a little bit. "You good?"
Cas nodded, his eyes still aimed at his feet.
Dean took his pulse now, just to be sure. Seventy two, perfect. "I'm gonna go get you some water, Cas. Okay? It may make you feel better." Dean announced before standing and walking toward the kitchen.
Sam watched Dean tread away before turning back to Castiel. "We're really proud of you, Cas."
"It's nothing, Sam." Cas tried to shrug it off.
"No, I mean it. This shit is hard work for you. You're doing so well, and we are so proud of you for fighting through this." Sam remarked, then held his arms open to the still trembling man. "Come here."
Castiel accepted the hug, resting against Sam; Not having the energy to keep himself upright. Sam leaned back into the couch, leaving the ex-angel to lay against him.
Sam's steady heartbeat resonated in Castiel's ear. The beat of Sam's heart sounded differently than Dean's. Not by much, but it was intriguing to Cas.
"You still with me?" Sam whispered to him.
Cas just nodded against his flannel shirt.
"Listening to my heartbeat, hmm?"
Sam felt Cas tense as he began to speak. "Well not when you're talking, then I can't hear it."
The younger Winchester chuckled. "I suppose not."
Dean came back with the cool water clutched tight between his calloused fingers. He saw Cas against Sam and gave them a feeble smile. Dean put the water on the table beside them, and knelt in front of them.
"Hey." Dean voiced in a friendly tone.
Cas gave him the awkward, toothy grin that he adopted. "Hey."
"We good?" Dean questioned him.
"Yes Dean. Just listening." Cas replied with short sentences, too tired to pull anything else from his scattered brain.
Dean smiled and pat Cas's knee. "Awesome. Sam's got a good heart." At hearing this, Sam scoffed at his soppy older brother. "I mean that figuratively; I've never listened to it beat personally."
With that, Cas sat up slow from his position on Sam. "You should."
Dean knelt there, slightly flustered. "No, man, it's alright."
"Yeah, Cas. It's not something people... well-typically do." Sam stated.
Cas gave them his classical squinty-scrunchy face. "I don't understand why not."
"It's just-" Dean began, clearly unsure how to complete his point.
"It's just a little intimate for people." Sam finished for his brother.
Castiel sighed heavily. "You've seen each other die, you've seen the light fade from the other's eyes. You've seen each other nearly get their hearts yanked from their chest cavity, yet you mean to tell me that you've never paid attention to the hearts that keep the other alive?"
Sam and Dean looked at each other somberly.
"I suppose when you put it like that, it makes it seem more important." Dean admitted. "I never even thought to, before now. But now it seems rather crazy I never have."
"Yeah..." Sam agreed. "So-"
"So let's, I suppose."
Castiel smiled, quite pleased with this.
Dean brought a hand to Sam's chest, and Sam did the same to him. They left their hands over each other's beating hearts until Sam spoke up.
"May I?" He said, trembling.
Dean held his arms out to his little brother. "Of course, Sammy."
Sam practically leapt out of the couch and tackled his older brother, the gravity of Cas's words hitting him hard. Sam listened to Dean's heartbeat with exhilaration. Yes, he'd heard his older brother's heartbeat a few times before, but it meant almost nothing to him. It was just a sound, an organ; Now it's so much more than that.
Dean had broken his 'no chick flick moments' rule, and he didn't even care. "Sammy, you're never getting this again. We look like schoolgirls." He chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah, shut up." Sam smiled into Dean's shirt.
"My turn, bitch." Dean murmured after a few more moments.
"Jerk." Sam mumbled as he got off of Dean, and laid back himself.
Dean glued his ear to his brother's chest now, "Yep, Sam. Just as I said, good heart."
"Shut up, Mr. Touchy-Feely." Sam groaned.
Dean sure as hell never imagined this happening, but he couldn't say he was upset about it. Was it ever gonna happen again? Hell no. But it was nice while it lasted.
"Now get off of me." Sam laughed out.
Cas smiled down at the two. "See? It's comforting."
Dean gave them both a look. "This never happened. Not a word." He harped, waving a finger.
"No promises." Sam concluded with eyebrows raised in amusement.
"You'll be dead in a heartbeat, I swear to you."
