Work Text:
“SIRIUS!” Remus yelled, as his eyes fell upon the windswept figure standing at the top of the astronomy tower. He darted across the space from the open door to Sirius in a matter of heartbeats, and grabbing his friend from behind, toppled them both backwards onto the hard cobbled floor of the tower. The boys landed with a bone jarring thud, Sirius’ hard back pressing into Remus’ chest as the breath was knocked out of it. Remus clutched at the dark haired boy, his deceptively strong arms winding around Sirius as he breathed harshly into his friend's shoulder.
“What the fuck are you doing Sirius?!” Remus cried out angrily, his voice broken.
“What the fuck are you doing Moony?” Sirius bit back, trying in vain to unwind from Remus’ steel grip. “Let go of me!” he yelled in frustration, thrashing his arms in an attempt to get leverage.
Remus did, scooting backwards until his back hit the granite wall. Sirius brought himself up to his knees and whipped around to glare at the young werewolf.
“Why are you here Remus?” he asked, his voice gritty and distraught.
Remus looked at Sirius’ pale and tear streaked face, and tried to mask his trembling, he needed to be strong now.
"James said he hasn't seen you all day" he whispered, not trusting his voice to stay steady.
“Screw James. I knew he'd blabber.” Sirius ground out, rubbing at his eyes furiously.
“Padfoot, what are you doing up here?” Remus repeated, his mind grappling with the suggestions of what his friend had been planning to do.
“Nothing” the boy replied, sitting down with a slight wince. Remus buried his face in his hands, desperately trying to repress the rage that was threatening to swell within him.
“Moony?” Sirius murmured, watching the tawny haired boy with ill-disguised concern. After a few moments Remus looked up, his amber eyes filling with tears as he seethed “You were going to jump weren't you?”.
Sirius gave no response and he turned away, his grey gaze clouded with pain.
“Weren't you?!” Remus cried, his voice stricken and demanding.
“Yes Moony! Alright?” was the furious response “I was going to jump. So what?”.
Sirius stared the werewolf down, his hands curling into fists as the truth was drawn from him.
Hearing this Remus seemed to collapse in on himself, his chest heaving with barely restrained emotion.
“Oh Siri” he breathed, and all the strength seemed to seep from his body as he folded over on himself.
"How could you?"
Sirius was caught between anger and confusion, and he settled for an intense mix of the two.
“Why would you care?” The boy spat, glaring at Remus, his eyes flashing and mouth snarling, and in that moment his friend barely recognised him.
Remus looked at Sirius incredulously.
“Of course I bloody care you idiot! You’re my best friend, and nothing is ever going to change that!” He replied, his voice going high in disbelief.
“That’s not what you said the last time we talked.” Sirius returned bitterly, and as Remus opened his mouth to reply, he cut him off.
“No Remus! I know what I did was unforgivable, and I don’t expect forgiveness. I could have got us all killed."
His voice caught in his throat "And you, I hurt you! You matter to me more than.. well more than anyone ok?! And I hurt you, so much, I'm so sorr..." Sirius trailed off with a broken sob, feeling as though he lacked the strength to explain any of this, and yet so desperately wanting his friend to understand.
Remus remained quiet, holding in every emotion that was clawing to get out. If Sirius needed time to explain this, that's what he would give him.
“I screwed up everything, and now there's nothing left. I'm disowned, my brother is gone, James will never forgive me for getting Lily involved, and Peter... well I don't deserve his forgiveness anyway, and you know it.” Though before Sirius' voice had been raging and crippled, it now ran flat and monotone. He had accepted what his head had been screaming at him for months now, that nothing mattered any more, nothing was worth it. Except Moony, and he had ruined that as well.
Remus made a decision, and slowly crawled toward the Animagus.
“Padfoot” he whispered, his voice rough with barely restrained tears.
“Sirius listen to me"
Gently Remus took the boy's face in his warm palms, and gently cupped his cheeks until Sirius would look at him again.
“I forgive you.” he whispered, and leaning forward Remus rested his forehead softly against Sirius’, seemingly trying to shield him from all this pain.
Sirius blinked at the werewolf, in-comprehension gleaming in his exhaustion wrung eyes.
“You being gone would hurt James, Peter and I far more than any pain you could cause us alive, trust me.” Remus continued quietly, breathing fondness into every word.
"You always forgive family Sirius, no matter what they've done, and we are your family. We need you with us, the Marauders, always. We love you Padfoot”.
The werewolf seemed to stop short then, as if struggling with something just too incomprehensible to express in words.
Sirius continued to gaze at him in wonder, watching the marvel that was the boy in front of him.
Remus took a breath, and gathering all his remaining courage, whispered “And I love you”.
The shock of what Remus had said penetrated the heavy atmosphere, slicing through the fear and doubt like a knife. Sirius made no response, his eyes widening and breath stopping short, but did not move his head from Remus’.
Stormy eyes bored into golden ones, and the mirrored pain in the tear streaked faces seemed to lift and break. Steeling himself, Sirius suddenly closed the distance between them, and gently pressed his trembling lips to Remus’, in a kiss, so hesitant and so full of love, that the chasm that had grown between them was healed in a heartbeat.
Remus reached up and took Sirius’ face in his scarred hands, kissing him back softly as his friend wrapped his arms around him. Their eyes remained closed as they held each other, soft lips moving against rough ones, and soothing hands caressing and comforting. The tears slowed and colour bloomed on Sirius’ cheeks as he smiled into the kiss, and it was like sunshine amidst thunder.
Remus pulled back and opened his eyes, disbelief and joy dancing in their glowing depths, and Sirius had to catch his breath at the beauty.
“Your eyes are real pretty Moony” the young animagus murmured as they drew apart, a memory from long ago suddenly blooming at the front of his mind. Remus grinned, remembering that drunken night in fourth year, when the intoxicated Sirius had mumbled exactly the same thing as they had dozed entwined in a heap on the floor.
“You remember that?” Remus whispered back.
Sirius’ eyes gleamed with mirth. “Course I do Moony, how could you think I could forget what happened at a party like that?” he asked, mock offended.
His friend exhaled slowly, relieved beyond words to hear some semblance of normality returning to Padfoot. This was the boy he knew, and the boy he had fallen in love with. Remus chuckled lowly, and surging forward caught Sirius’ lips in a crushing kiss. The werewolf entwined his fingers throughout Sirius' dark locks as if he never wanted to let him go. And Sirius (after getting over his initial surprise), clutched at Remus' narrow waist, pulling him closer.
Their actions expressed what words simply could not, and the stars righted themselves, and aligned.