Chapter Text
Kara didn’t want to turn around and look at him, but she knew he was waiting. She had called him over with the full intent to finally give him an answer, and yet she found herself too cowardly. The last thing Kara wanted to do was hurt Mon-El. Sure, he was arrogant, selfish and rarely did he ever care for others. She had a hunch that his recent decision to be a hero was merely to grab her attention, especially when all he seemed to care about was her and not the people they were meant to save and protect. Mon-El was an okay guy, and an okay friend. He just… wasn’t relationship material. Kara did not want to see his selfishness amplified if she gave in to him, which she really didn’t want to do, anyway. Especially not since… well…
“You said it was urgent, so…” Mon-El spoke up, breaking Kara from her panicked thoughts. “Are you sure it is? You haven’t said a word.”
Kara reluctantly turned. He looked like a puppy, and she was just about to kick him. “Mon-El,” she started, sighing. She wrung her hands together. “I understand that recently, I’ve probably been giving you some mixed signals.”
He smiled and slipped his hands into his pockets. “You could say that, yeah.”
Oh boy, she thought. “Well, I was a little confused. But, uh…” She couldn’t look at him and say it. It had taken a long time just to admit it to herself. This would be the first time telling someone else, not to mention that she wasn’t sure how he would take it. But it needed to be done. If she didn’t tell him, he would probably still hang around, hopeful that every glance and every smile she gave him implied more. She didn’t want that. “I really do like you, Mon-El.” He started smiling. “But more like a brother.” The smile promptly dissolved. “I realized recently, that it was far too easy to distract myself with the curiosity of perhaps having feelings for you. I mean, you and everyone else implied that we should be together. But actually, I…” Her shoulders dropped. “I realized that I’ve had feelings for someone else for a while, and I just didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to pretend that I was confused about you.”
“I don’t understand.” Mon-El’s hands pulled out of his pockets and he took a single step forward. “You called me here just to reject me? Again?”
Kara stared intensely at the floor. Any more intensely and she would accidentally kick start her laser vision and give her neighbours down stairs a nasty surprise. It was difficult to concentrate on not setting the floor on fire when her guts felt all twisted up. The hurt in Mon-El’s voice was real, and Kara hated having to hurt him.
“Yes. I’m so sorry, Mon-El. But I just didn’t want this…” she nervously flicked her eyes towards him, gesturing between them. “Whatever this was, to get in the way of our friendship and of my duty to this city.”
His expression melted into dismay. “Kara, you…” He stopped himself short. She watched him clench his hands into fists, and anxiously pressed her own palms together. “You can’t possibly think we can still be friends after this?”
Her stomach sank. I suppose not, she thought. I did expect this, after all. “I understand if you would rather we stay out of each other’s lives.” Please ask for time, she thought desperately. Please say we can be friends eventually.
“I think that’ll be for the best.” He turned swiftly and headed for the door. Each footfall sounded like a gunshot, ringing harshly in Kara’s ears. He paused in the open doorway, sending her a wounded look. “I really tried for you, Kara. I tried being a hero for you.”
Kara found the courage to face him directly. “That is no reason to be a hero.”
“Maybe not. But it was worth a try.”
“Was it?”
Mon-El glanced away, sighing. “You’ll regret this, Kara.” It didn’t sound like a threat, merely like something he was sure of. The words sent a pull of disquiet through Kara’s body. “Who is it?”
Kara inhaled shakily and closed her eyes. “Lena,” she admitted quietly. “Lena Luthor.”
He snorted, but Kara didn’t open her eyes to see his face. She didn’t want to. Just admitting that she had feelings for Lena to another person made them even more real, and she couldn’t deal with those feelings on top of the sadness in her gut.
“Goodbye,” Mon-El muttered.
She didn’t return the farewell. She stood there long after he had shut the door and his footsteps melted away. Eventually she realized that she needed to have something to eat and shower before bed, but she couldn’t seem to force the food down. Kara decided to go to sleep without dinner, an empty feeling in her stomach.
XxX
Lena caught herself on the cusp of another intense daydream and pulled her focus back onto the task at hand. There were new contracts she needed to look over, and she couldn’t do that if she sat there like a moron with her eyes glazed over as she stared out of the windows. What was becoming of her?
Kara has me distracted, she mused to herself, scribbling her signature where it was needed. She sighed. It was just a hug, nothing more. Why can’t I stop thinking about it?
A week had passed since that awful experience, where her mother had abandoned her to die and Supergirl had rescued her. She could still recall how it had felt to rest in the safety of Supergirl’s strong arms. They really were as firm as they looked. The only thing Lena wished differently about that lovely encounter was seeing Supergirl’s face more clearly. For some reason she had tilted her head just so that Lena couldn’t see her, not to mention the wind whipping her hair all over the place. When Supergirl had landed on her balcony and set Lena gently down on the ground, Lena’s hair was an absolute mess and her makeup had run down her face—crying tended to do that. Lena really needed to remember to wear waterproof makeup. Lately the waterworks were becoming too much. She tried not to cry so often, she really did. But sensitivity was something she always had underneath the tough exterior.
But Supergirl hadn’t judged her for her teary, red rimmed eyes, or acted as though she was a child that needed coddling. No, she only made sure Lena would be alright and then she flew off into the night. It was only after Kara’s visit much later that she finally allowed herself to relax, to feel that her mother wouldn’t pop up from somewhere just to snatch her away again, paint her in evil and rip away the only thing Lena truly cared for.
“Kara,” Lena sighed aloud. She let her pen fall onto the stack of papers and sat back in her chair, hands clasped together. There was no way she could continue working like this. Should she perhaps call Kara? What better way to get over this obsession, than to spend time with it?
Though Lena knew there was no way she would ever get over Kara Danvers. It was simply impossible.
Her office door suddenly flew open and a man stormed inside, Jess hot on his heels. “Sir, please,” she begged, exasperated.
Lena reached for the weapon she had underneath the table, but relaxed when she recognized Mike from Kara’s work. “Jess, it’s alright.”
Mike sent her an awkward smile. “Uh, sorry for barging in. Kara sent me.”
Lena lifted a brow. “She did?” She sent Jess a look and nodded, letting her know the situation was fine and she could leave. She did not miss the slight sigh Jess gave before sliding the doors shut and returning to her desk. “What can I do for you, Mike?” What did Kara need that she couldn’t simply come over herself? Lena was much too smart to see the sense in this, though she supposed something could have happened.
“Well, actually, Kara wanted me to bring you to her.”
Lena tilted her head slightly and pressed her fingertips to the surface of her desk. “For what purpose?”
“She just, uh… wants to see you.” When Lena’s eyes narrowed slightly, he seemed to realize she wasn’t believing him. “It’s about your mother!” he hurried. “She wanted me to escort you to her as soon as possible.”
Lena’s stomach dropped. Her mother? She knew Lillian would surface eventually, but why would Kara send Mike in a situation like this? Why not send Supergirl? But she couldn’t let this pass her by, if it was true and Kara had some vital information. For all she knew, Kara had orchestrated this to bring her from harm’s way. She seemed very apt at doing that. Lena wondered if Supergirl didn’t perhaps give Kara a lot of advice.
“If that’s the case, I suppose I must.” She didn’t miss the look of relief on Mike’s face, but she followed him regardless. She had her pepper-spray in her coat pocket, just in case.
They left the looming building of L Corp for the bustling streets. Mike didn’t say much else. Lena had the sense that he was on a mission, but of what she wasn’t certain. When they paused close to CatCo, Lena furrowed her brows. Mike led her into an alleyway and urged her to wait there.
“Kara will be here shortly,” he said.
Lena watched the people walking by and wondered if she was in any danger. There was a large trash bin beside her and it stank, but she didn’t make mention of it. “And why here, in this place?”
Mike shrugged. “Kara’s orders. Trust me.”
Lena wanted to, but she was finding it difficult. Mike was being a little too suspicious, and some part of Lena told her that Kara wouldn’t make her stand in a dirty alleyway like this. Before she could voice her concern, a loud boom echoed through the streets and people began to scream. Lena made to move, but Mike’s hand clamped down on her shoulder, stopping her.
“No,” he said. “Just wait.”
Lena’s stomach twisted.
XxX
Kara paced anxiously along the sidewalk, ignoring the irritated looks people were sending her. They could fly, for all she cared. She was in way too bad a mood to care.
“Are you sure, Kara?” Alex said over the phone, her voice so gentle that it made Kara feel even worse.
“I just have a bad feeling about this,” she insisted. “I don’t know. Mon-El left me a cryptic message to meet him here, and he isn’t here.”
“Are you sure it really was him?”
Kara pressed a hand to her forehead. She could feel her glasses slowly sliding down the bridge of her nose. “Yes. I think so. I hope so.” She sighed and pulled her glasses back up. “I rejected him already, Alex. Why would he contact me again? I thought he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Maybe he decided he still wants to be friends?”
“You didn’t see how hurt he looked.”
“Kara, listen to me.” There was some rustling, making Kara wonder if she hadn’t caught her sister still in bed. “You have nothing to feel guilty about, alright? You don’t feel the same. He can’t be mad at you for that, and you can’t be mad at you for that.”
“But…” She inhaled shakily. “I hurt him.”
“That’s life. People get hurt, Kara. How many times have you been hurt by other people? Stop beating yourself up over this. Besides, didn’t you say something about there being someone else? Where are they now, huh?”
Kara felt her cheeks blossom with pink. Just the mention made Kara think of Lena, reminding her that she definitely needed to head over to L Corp as soon as possible and speak to Lena. Would she confess first thing? Kara wasn’t sure. All she knew was that her chest felt warm and tingly whenever she thought of Lena, even more so than it used to when she had been in love with James. It was much more powerful. If Kara didn’t do something about it soon, she might just combust. Did kryptonians do that? Wouldn’t surprise her.
“Well, I, uh… see…” she scratched the bridge of her nose in nervousness. “She doesn’t—”
“She?!” Alex interrupted in a yell.
Kara bit down on her lip. “Did I forget to mention that little detail?”
“Little detail?” More sheets rustling. Kara heard the sound of someone else groan in annoyance. “Kara, when were you going to tell me?”
Kara sighed. “As soon as I figured things out on my own,” she answered.
“Who is she?”
Kara opened her mouth to utter Lena’s name, but a huge boom cut her words short. Her head snapped up immediately in time to see that a truck had just crashed into a building, and many other cars were about to drive into each other. Kara didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Alex before she rushed to the nearest alleyway. She ripped her shirt and the rest of her clothing off, untied her hair and then finally, quickly, removed her glasses. She barely took the time to make sure her things were safe before she flew off in time to stop more cars from joining the pile.
She didn’t see the widened eyes that had been watching her the entire time.