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He knows she's dead before he sees the body.
He doesn't need to. The moment he finds Auruo's corpse, face frozen in a shadow of a vicious, bloodthirsty snarl - he knows. The only thing that would reduce the man to this state was complete and utter heartbreak.
But for some reason, actually seeing her lifeless, broken body is so much worse. He finds her last, slumped against a tree, staring blankly into nothingness. He can almost believe she's still alive, maybe slightly disoriented from the battle, if not for the crimson gash across the front of her uniform and the blood that paints her skin and hair.
He doesn't cry, doesn't grieve - just continues silently into battle. He's always known that wouldn't last; it was a miracle she lived as long as she did.
The world is too cold, he knows, for starry-eyed dreamers, and Petra was always a little too hopeful; a little too bright; a little too alive. She'd always wanted fairytale wedding, with a beautiful gown and a bouquet of flowers and a faceless man standing at the end of the aisle, even knowing that as a soldier, such a future wasn't so much unlikely as impossible. She'd known it. He'd known it.
But even as he presses forward, his heart is strangely heavy with what if, could have been, what might have been -
Later, he presses his fist to his chest in a silent salute, the maybes and what ifs leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.
xx
Levi mutters a string of profanities under his breath as he stomps into the warm, crowded university cafe. It's a fucking thunderstorm out there, today of all the days he could've forgotten his umbrella. He clutches the damp textbooks to their chest like they are precious jewels - hell, they're definitely expensive enough to be - and hopes fervently that they'll dry out.
Not trying to hide his irritation, he orders a coffee from the cheery barista with the bright green eyes. "The usual," he tells the boy, with whom he's grudgingly grown to call a friend over the past few months, despite the brat's irritating optimism and obnoxious habit of poking his nose into Levi's nonexistent love life. Eren smirks as he starts to prepare Levi's regular drink of choice - a mocha latte with just a sprinkle of cinnamon.
"Bad day, Levi?"
Levi grunts in response. "Don't suppose you have a spare umbrella around?"
Before Eren can respond, however, a voice perks up from just behind him. "I, um - have a spare, if you want."
He whirls around to see a girl that he vaguely recognises as his classmate from his Literature class. Her eyes widen in recognition.
"Hey - you're, um, Levi, right?" She blushes slightly.
Levi nods acknowledgement, searching his mind for her name. "Thanks, but -"
"As it so happens, we do not have any spare umbrellas at the moment," Eren announces, sending Levi a conspicious wink. "Here's your drink, have a nice day, goodbye!"
Levi sighs in defeat. "If the offer's still up, I'd really appreciate it, um..." The name is just on the tip of his tongue, he knows it -
"Petra Ral."
The girl offers him a bright blue umbrella with a knowing smile, and Levi gets the strange feeling that, somehow, he's known her for a long, long time.
Just before he leaves the coffee shop, he notices Eren cheerfully handing over a regulation "SINA UNIVERSITY" umbrella to a customer. Fucking jerk, he thinks to himself, but somehow can't bring himself to be pissed off at the kid.
Petra gives him a smile that leaves him slightly breathless.
Yep, definitely not mad at him.
xx
It's become a sort of weekend routine to go over to Petra's, watch one of those cheesy romantic movies she loves (and he hates, but endures just to see the smile on her face), maybe drink a little more than absolutely necessary, and well - you know - the other stuff.
This time, it's A Walk to Remember, and they're both strewn across the couch, with Petra's head on his lap as he absently plays with her hair.
"Hey," he muses quietly, as Mandy Moore belts out Only Hope in the background, "do you ever think about the future?"
Petra's slightly sleepy eyes suddenly light up. "Yeah," she says enthusiastically, before blushing slightly, "I want to - you know - have a family one day. Live in a nice house with a garden, have kids, get a dog or two..." She sighs wistfully, before glancing up at him slightly and blushing again. He doesn't say anything, so she continues.
"I'm sorry, it's just that I feel - somehow - that I've, I don't know, been deprived of this in the past." She laughs awkwardly. "I know, it's so stupid, but -"
He cuts off her rambling. "It's not stupid." Seeing her slightly disbelieving expression, he adds, quietly, "Sometimes I feel that way, too."
They sit in silence before Levi suddenly speaks up again. "Say, Petra..." He hesitates, reaches into his pocket for the little box that he's been carrying around for the entire week but never got the guts to bring out.
"Yeah?"
It's now or never. "D'you wanna get married?"
xx
He watches her glide down the aisle, face flushed with happiness. A delicate veil covers her glossy auburn locks, weaved together in some intricate hairstyle that probably took way too long to do, and the floor-length gown trails along the aisle carpeting.
And yet, all he can think is fuck, she's breathtaking.
She finally reaches his side, and he stares at her uncomprehendingly until Eren elbows him. Somehow, he manages to recite the vows without stumbling and making an idiot out of himself.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Levi thinks that she's never looked quite so beautiful.