Chapter Text
Bertholdt wouldn't admit it, but he was very affectionate.
He often allowed his shyness to take advantage of him, so he often came off as cold and distant. He truly loved attention, being hugged and kissed and cuddled and became flustered at the thought of nuzzling close to someone. He often felt isolated and lonely; he ached for another's warmth.
When Reiner and Bertholdt’s friendship became slightly more than platonic, Reiner tried to be accommodating of his withdrawn demeanor. He would often take Bertholdt’s hand for a few moments or put his arms around his waist when they hugged, which seemed to make him nervous in an endearing sort of way. Bertholdt would try to reciprocate the affection, but would only end up feeling extremely embarrassed. He was rarely the one to initiate intimacy; he was far too scared of being pushed away or overstepping his boundaries. He wanted to get Reiner’s attention; it was just hard for him, even if they had been close since childhood.
Reiner recognized his crush on Bertholdt months beforehand, but didn't want to damage their friendship without weighing every possible outcome of his actions. He wanted to ensure that Bertholdt would reciprocate, or at least tolerate his attempts at flirting.
They had a movie night every other Saturday that had been going on for several weeks. They would meet at one of their respective dorms and watch movies until they fell asleep, Bertholdt usually sleeping in his mass of long, lanky limbs on the couch while Reiner spooned a bowl of popcorn on the floor. This week, their movie night was at Reiner's dorm.
On this night, the movie Reiner had picked turned out to be especially boring. Bertholdt seemed to be fine with it, taking a comfortable position crouched on the sofa with his chin resting atop his knees. Reiner couldn't fake being interested for very long; maybe, he thought, he could draw his friend's attention away from the movie and to himself. Shouldn't be too hard, he decided.
"Can I get you anything?" Reiner inquired; noticing Bertholdt had finished the popcorn only 20 minutes in. He figured waiting on this boy could get him somewhere.
"No thanks," Bertholdt rumbled in reply, his deep voice was smooth and quiet, eyes leaving the screen to glance at his amber eyes as he spoke.
"You sure? Can I get you a blanket or some water or a pillow? You look cold," taking note of the bundled up way he was sitting.
"Well, um, if it's not too much trouble, a blanket would be nice" he mumbled with a timid smile. No sooner had the words left his mouth, Reiner had already jumped off the couch with a quick "I got it", walking to get several blankets and pillows from the cupboard. The tall boy glanced in his direction, eyes wide as he watched blankets engulf Reiner’s body in a mass of soft fabric before he returned to the couch.
When his friend shot him a confused look, Reiner smiled proudly and offhandedly said "Hey, let's build a blanket fort,", to which Bertholdt grinned in response.
They had no plan when it came to laying out this fort. They tried to incorporate chairs and tables into the design, but nothing was big enough for the two men. They decided on a pillow and blanket nest instead. Gathering every pillow, cushion, sheet, and quilt in the dorm, together they laid out a massive, circular pile of softness big enough for the two of them to lie on. Pillows ringed the outline of it, making it appear to have low walls. The floor of the nest was thickly cushioned with several layers of fleece blankets, making it somewhat like a mattress.
Bertholdt lied down first, lying on his back and trying to make himself small so that his bigger friend would have enough room to join him. Reiner crawled next to him onto his side, head supported by one of the pillow walls. An idea came to Reiner’s head as he started to doze off, an idea that may or may not work. He had the fantastic idea of yawning and stretching as a disguise to wrap an arm around Bertholdt, but modify it to fit his current position. He pretended to fall asleep.
As the end of the movie drew closer, Reiner decided to take his chance and rolled towards his friend so that his body lightly brushed against Bertholdt’s. He felt the taller boy tense at the touch, but not jerk or move away. He yawned and stretched a bit so his arm draped over his friend's tummy.
"Reiner?" Bertholdt's voice was small and nervous.
"I’m cold" Reiner murmured in response. The sleepy act wasn't entirely fake, he wouldn't have done this if he was wide awake and thinking clearly. He formed a grip on the tall boy, cuddling into his chest and curling his arm protectively around him.
"Do you need a blanket?" Bertholdt questioned as he started to sit up; but Reiner tightened and pulled him back down.
"You’re warm enough," he smiled a bit, his voice a sleepy growl. Bertholdt didn't have any further questions, so he let him stay. The movie ended and the credits started to roll as the dark-haired boy let out a sizable yawn, causing his entire body to contort and stretch as he rolled onto his side, turning away from Reiner and unintentionally rolling out of his grip.
"Big mistake," Reiner mused internally as he scooted towards him, slipping an arm under his waist and putting his hand to the boy's abdomen. His stomach met the small of Bertholdt' back and their legs tangled together. Reiner pressed his face into the back of his neck, taking note of his clean-smelling dark hair.
Reiner didn't want to fall asleep, though his eyes threatened to let him down. He wanted to stay awake, safely pressed against this big boy whom he had a big crush on. He wasn't surprised that Bertholdt hadn't protested, he was one to stay quiet and let whatever happened to him happen.
"Is this okay?" Reiner’s words were slurred a bit from drowsiness; he loosened his grip in case Bertholdt wanted to make his escape.
"Yes, of course" he sounded confident in his answer, a tone Bertholdt rarely used. Reiner couldn't stop himself from grinning into his friend's nape, holding him a bit tighter as he tried to stifle his chuckling. Though he wasn't terrified of being rejected, it wasn't something he wanted to experience; especially with Bertholdt, who he cared about more than anyone. Still smiling, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
-
Reiner woke up first, eyes still adjusting to the now-dark dorm. His eyelids were still heavy and adjusting to the darkness, but he could make out a bright red 1:48 on the clock under his TV. They had slept for quite a few hours. Rain loudly tapped on the windows, giving him an excuse to keep Bertholdt for the night. That reminded him: Bertholdt was here.
Reiner found that he'd rolled onto his back, and Bertholdt was no longer lying next to him, but lying on top of him: head resting lightly on his lower chest, an arm wrapped lazily around his waist, and his legs were sprawled out in various directions.
Even with his questionable sleeping positions, he always looked peaceful when he rested. When awake, his face was constantly painted with worry, and it was a nice change to see him rather tranquil.
In his groggy stage, he was overcome with the desire to pet Bertholdt’s head. So he did.
His hair was thick and short and soft and it felt like he was petting a big kitten. Reiner lie there for a few moments; running his fingers through his silky locks. Bertholdt stirred slightly to burrow his face more into the bigger boy's chest, but didn't wake. Reiner didn't want to move from this spot and wouldn't have minded if he could've spent hours there, simply admiring this peaceful, gentle boy who innocently lied on him. Normally, he wasn't usually this delicate with others, but Bertholdt brought out a different side of him. He barely noticed that they were no longer lying in the fort, but on the ground with a single blanket curled under them.
The pillow fort had become almost completely dismantled when the boys shifted in their sleep, scarcely leaving anything soft to lie on but the carpet. Reiner decided to move to his bed and bring Bertholdt too. After all, it was big enough for the two of them.
Reiner reluctantly sat up, hoping the movement would wake his friend. However, Bertholdt seemed completely unaffected, his face still neutral and his body still limp. Reiner sighed as he started to prod at his friend’s arm.
"Bertholdt, Bertholdt wake up," he said, shaking him gently.
Bertholdt's eyes tightened, his nose twitched before he let out a forceful yawn that made him stretch widely. His eyes opened a bit, sleep still weighing them down.
"It’s raining and it's almost 2am, you should probably spend the night here,"
"Is that okay with you?" Bertholdt managed quietly.
"Of course" Reiner said, smiling. "Do you want to move to my bed or would you rather sleep on the floor all night?" It was a not-so-subtle invitation to snuggle somewhere more comfortable. Bertholdt blinked and whispered a sleepy, "Let's go," as he rubbed his eyes.
Reiner wanted to wake up like this every day. He wanted to see Bertholdt tired and with bedhead and heavy eyes. He wanted to plant kisses all over his face, arms, hands, neck; anywhere he could, as long as his friend would welcome them.
Bertholdt sat up next to him, still rubbing his eyes. Reiner rose to his feet and took his hand, smiling slyly as he led him into his bedroom, releasing his hand at the doorway so he could pull back the comforter and sheets as his friend stood on the threshold with droopy eyes and his head lolling to the side lethargically. Reiner realized they were both still in their jeans.
"I sleep in my boxers, if that makes you uncomfortable I can put on sweatpants or something," Reiner awkwardly mentioned as he blindly adjusted the pillows in the darkness and started to pull down his jeans.
"Me too, it's fine," Bertholdt replied as he did the same and waddled towards the bed; he was too tired to feel embarrassed.
They both huddled into the cold bed, Reiner once again rolling himself beside Bertholdt, laying a hand softly on waist. Once more, he tensed but didn't protest. Reiner cuddled up closer and pressed his nose against Bertholdt's shoulder. Bertholdt gradually relaxed, but his breathing indicated he was still awake.
"Could you do that thing again," Bertholdt mumbled, so quietly that Reiner wasn't sure he was supposed to hear it.
"What thing?" he mumbled back.
"You pet my hair, and it felt nice" Bertholdt said shyly.
"I thought you were asleep" Reiner responded with a sheepish laugh.
Reiner didn't wait for any further input as he moved his hand from Bertholdt’s waist to his head, continuing his actions from before.
The tall boy sighed gently in response to the pleasant touches, tilting his head into his carressing hand. Fingers traced paths through his hair and scratched softly behind his ear, eliciting a mute groan. Reiner put his nose to the back of Bertholdt's neck and silently took in his scent; the sweet, the clean scent was still present in his hair.
Bertholdt rolled over to face him, their lips separated by only a few inches. Reiner felt his cheeks grow hot and wondered if his nervousness was obvious. He continued stroking his head, and Bertholdt slowly closed his eyes. Dozing, his pace slowed slowed to halt with a hand resting softly on his friend's cheek.
Bertholdt looked on at his friend through his nearly-shut eyes. Reiner's lips were parted a bit, letting out the tiniest puffs of breath. His hair was messy and strewn out in every direction which Bertholdt found endearing.
He knew he had a crush on him for several months, but had been too scared to confess. Whenever he would hug him, invite him over, brush against him, Bertholdt felt his whole body clench, Reiner unintentionally made him incredibly nervous. He acted outwardly passive towards his affection in the case he was playing with him and would be uncomfortable with him reciprocating whole-heartedly.
Bertholdt really wanted to kiss Reiner.
Would he be mad? Would he notice? Was he even asleep? The sleeping boy's breathing was shallow and level, his face relaxed and peaceful. To test the waters, Bertholdt let out a near silent "psst" sound, loud enough for Reiner to notice it if he was awake, but not loud enough to wake him if he was asleep. He didn't stir at all, so he figured it was as safe as it was going to get.
Moving forward slowly, Bertholdt gradually brought his face closer to the Reiner's. The limp hand on Bertholdt's face dragged behind his head as he lurched forward. Shaking hands rose to press against Reiner’s chest, weakly gripping the fabric of his shirt.
Slowly, Bertholdt pressed a chaste kiss to Reiner’s cheek; he was nowhere near bold enough to go for his lips. The fear of him waking up prevented him from lingering, but his skin was soft and warm and tempted him to stay. He pulled away unceremoniously, feeling quite embarrassed. He quickly buried his reddening face into his friend's chest, the warmth of the bigger boy comforting him. Bertholdt wrapped his arms around him, pulling himself in as close as possible. Even after replaying it in his head a few times, he couldn't believe he worked up the nerve to kiss Reiner, no matter how tame it was.
In the midst of his thoughts, Bertholdt felt strong arms wrap tightly around him, accompanied by a gentle sigh. Reiner's chin now rested atop Bertholdt’s head lovingly and a leg was thrown possessively over his hips. He was contently ensnared as he fell asleep in Reiner's embrace.