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Minhyuk follows Hyungwon into the empty dressing room across the hall from theirs that’s housing the overspill of their clothes and shoes. One of their stylists pokes her head around the door as she passes and wrinkles her nose. “Don’t touch the silk shirts,” she warns, but then she’s smiling at them, so Minhyuk guesses they’re not in trouble.
Minhyuk nods at her, turning his attention back to Hyungwon as the stylist shuts the door. “What are we doing in here?” He asks.
Hyungwon shrugs. “Just having some time out.” He takes Minhyuk's hand and pulls him down onto the sofa. Hyungwon’s long coat is pulled tight under his legs, so he takes it off and drapes it over their knees like a blanket instead.
Minhyuk feels conflicted. This is nice, but-- “Shouldn’t we be warming up?” He asks, jabs his thumb towards the door, where outside, somewhere above them, the show is starting. “And have you filmed your video message for the tour diary yet?”
Hyungwon doesn’t look phased. “No. And no, I’ll do it later. Just... Just stay still.”
Minhyuk wriggles, his jacket feels tight and his neck is hot. “I’ve had an energy drink,” he says. “And we need to be on stage soon and I have to show a better side of me than I did in yesterday’s performance.”
This is important. Minhyuk n eeds to show the best side of him he possibly can. He’s rewatched yesterday’s performance six times and picked it apart second by second. Decided that every smile could have been brighter, like Hoseok’s had been, every move smoother, like Hyunwoo’s. Knows that he could have shown more of a cool image like Jooheon had and his cold glare before the chorus should have been more like Changkyun’s.
“You did well,” he makes clear to Hyungwon. “You looked cooler than I did.”
And Hyungwon doesn’t argue with him, he knows better than to bother doing that. Knows Minhyuk. Just says, “Five minutes sitting here is not going to ruin your performance,” and leans his head back against the cold leather.
Minhyuk allows his hand to relax in Hyungwon’s and replies, “Okay. Thank you.”
Hyungwon smiles and squeezes his fingers.
--
Minhyuk shuts the door behind him as softly as possible.
“I’m in bed here,” Hyungwon calls, his voice thick with sleep.
Minhyuk sheds his sweater and slippers. “I know, it’s just me,” he says. Hyungwon makes space next to him in his bed, pulls back the duvet for Minhyuk.
“Were you looking for me?” He asks, eyes still firmly closed, as Minhyuk climbs in next to him.
“Yeah.” Minhyuk rolls onto his side and pulls the duvet up as far as their chins. “I have a headache.”
Hyungwon groans, opens one eye and says, “Shit, I think we’re all getting sick.”
“Hmm. Don’t tell anyone.” Minhyuk whispers. “I just need to shut my eyes for a while and it will be gone, I’m sure.” He rubs his forehead against Hyungwon’s shoulder and it soothes the pain a little, if only because he’s glad that Hyungwon is right there.
Hyungwon pinches the fabric of Minhyuk’s sweatpants between his thumb and finger and tugs, signalling Minhyuk to place his leg on top of Hyungwon’s. “What sort of pain is it?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Minhyuk replies, wrapping his arm around Hyungwon’s chest and tucking his foot in between Hyungwon's legs. “Let’s just sleep.” So, they do. Thirty minutes of warmth, of peace and quiet and each other, until--
“Can you hear Kihyun calling us?” Minhyuk mumbles, conscious of a voice calling their names from outside the door.
Hyungwon shifts, traps Minhyuk’s foot between his legs tightly so he can't be tempted to move and says, “Yes, I’m just ignoring him, is that bad?”
“Probably,” Minhyuk says, “But I guess I am too.”
“We’ll buy him meat tomorrow night.” Hyungwon yawns and it moves his whole body like an earthquake.
Minhyuk just cuddles into his side some more. “Yeah. We’ll buy everyone meat.”
“Has your headache gone?” Hyungwon asks, and Minhyuk doesn’t know why he’s asking, because it’s not like he could do anything to fix it, regardless, but he appreciates the gesture nonetheless.
“No,” Minhyuk replies. “But I feel better anyway.”
He always does; Hyungwon has that effect.
--
When their car pulls up at the rest-stop, Hoseok and Changkyun climb straight out, their padded jackets whipping up behind their backs in the wind. Rain pounds the windows. It’s a horrible night.
Their manager turns off the ignition and turns around in his seat, eyes them expectantly, waits for them to move. “We’ll stay in the car,” Minhyuk says and catches the keys when the manager-hyung throws them to him.
He watches their manager make his way towards the restrooms, half-running to get out of the cold. Hyungwon stirs beside him. “You’ll get a crick in your neck if you sleep like that,” Minhyuk nudges him and smiles as Hyungwon's eyes open, blinking into the darkness of the car as he wakes up.
His eyebrows furrow in the middle.“ Where are we?”
“Rest-stop,” Minhyuk replies. “We’re about forty minutes from the hotel apparently.”
Hyungwon pulls a face. “I thought we were already there,” he mumbles, zipping his jacket up all the way to the top. “Why did you wake me?”
“You’ll thank me when you don’t have a sore neck tomorrow.” Minhyuk loops his arm around Hyungwon’s. He’s thankful for this few minutes alone, even if Hyungwon would rather be asleep right now.
“I won’t,” Hyungwon replies, but he’s smiling as he falls back to sleep, Minhyuk's arm in his.
--
Minhyuk watches the mole on Hyungwon’s lower lip move as he speaks. He can’t remember what they’re talking about, anymore. There was alcohol with dinner and Minhyuk hasn’t drank in months. Doesn’t drink as a general rule. Shouldn't have drank tonight, maybe.
Hyungwon’s lips stop moving. They’re nice. They’re so nice; Minhyuk thinks about how nice they are sometimes, even when he’s sober.
“My eyes are up here."
Minhyuk says, “What?” though he heard the words. “Sorry.” He drags his gaze away from where it wants to be and there’s a silence; a silence that’s similarly comfortable and terrifying. Minhyuk rolls onto his back and the bed creaks beneath them. Kihyun has been in the shower for what feels like hours and Minhyuk wonders what he’s even doing in there. Probably what they all do in the showers, he guesses. It’s not like there’s any other private place to get off; they’re all together all of the time.
Hyungwon breaks the silence. “Can you imagine life without me?”
“That’s an ominous question.” Minhyuk stares at the ceiling. There’s a light swimming on it, the reflection of something outside the hotel window, and Minhyuk follows it with his eyes. It’s not as pretty as Hyungwon’s mole, but it’s another anchor, so it’ll do.
“It’s not meant to be a bad question.” Hyungwon pauses. ‘I just mean, sometimes I feel like I’ve known you forever. And I think-- what if one day we don’t know each other anymore?”
Minhyuk rolls back onto his stomach and frowns at Hyungwon. “You’re making me sad,” he says.
“Sorry. I’m happy we’re together, that’s all.” Hyungwon smiles. The shower stops running, heavy footsteps of Kihyun stepping out replacing it as the dominant sound behind their conversation.
“Me too,” Minhyuk says and gives into temptation, reaches out and dabs the tip of his index finger against Hyungwon’s bottom lip.
Hyungwon doesn’t flinch.
--
Minhyuk thinks about his conversation with Hyungwon. Wonders how could Hyungwon even contemplate that Minhyuk could ever imagine a life without him. He couldn’t, because it would be impossible. Their lives are intertwined now, and they always will be, and that's the only outcome Minhyuk can even comprehend.
Minhyuk is where Hyungwon is, because that’s how it should be. That’s what is right. It has been for a long time and, honestly? Minhyuk can’t envision life any other way. He tells Hyungwon as much as they stretch in the practice room. Hyungwon eyes him with amusement, but he doesn’t disagree.
Later, as they replace danced-out calories, practically inhaling food as quickly as it can be placed in front of them, Minhyuk says through a mouthful of noodles, “Isn’t home a funny word?”
Hyungwon’s mouth is equally as full. “No.”
“It is,” Minhyuk argues. “Because it’s meant to mean a place, right?”
Hyungwon continues to eat.
“But it’s not, really. It’s more-- people.” Minhyuk isn’t sure where he’s going with this, but he knows it’s important and he knows he needs to say it.
“Have you been watching melodramas with Hoseok-hyung?” Hyungwon takes a drink. He’s doing that thing, that dry, disinterested act he wears when he wants to pretend to be less soft than Minhyuk knows he is.
“No, I can’t imagine life without you, to answer your question from the other night,” Minhyuk says. “Because you’re like-- you’re like home to me. I couldn’t live without a home.”
Hyungwon’s mouth twists into a half smile, his hand brushing his hair away from his face the way he does when he tries not to laugh. “That’s the cheesiest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
Minhyuk asks, “The most what thing?”
“Most romantic,” Hyungwon corrects himself and accepts the beef and peppers that Minhyuk dishes into his bowl with a grin.
Minhyuk smiles so hard his face hurts, but it’s okay because Hyungwon is smiling too.
--
Minhyuk turns the sound on the television up a little and sits down. His mic pack is already fitted and it digs into the small of his back as he sits. They were meant to be on stage fifteen minutes ago, but, as usual, recording has been held up by various technical mishaps. He stifles a yawn and tries to copy the complicated dance that the rookie boygroup shown on the screen are filming. He hopes he’ll come out looking good today; this promotion cycle has been a blur of earlier and earlier mornings so far, but Minhyuk refuses to let it get the better of him.
“You okay?” He asks Hyungwon, as he sits down next to him. He continues to watch the screen. The rookie group start another take and for a minute Minhyuk wonders if they’ll ever leave the studio.
Hyungwon slides his hand into Minhyuks and pulls it so that their hands are tucked right in at their sides, unseen.
This is a thing they do now; hidden hands and hidden smiles. It’s funny, Minhyuk thinks, because it’s not like these are new things between them, it’s just-- a shift has taken place and they’re not careless platonic touches now. Or, they never were, not really, but now it’s not just a silent thing, now the magic is real and spoken.
Minhyuk feels lightheaded when he thinks about it.
“I’m homesick,” Hyungwon says, mouth close to his ear.
Minhyuk’s eyes don’t leave the screen. “Well, we might get a break in a few months and-”
Hyungwon laughs.
“Oh. I get it now.” Minhyuk feels stupid. He lets Hyungwon kick at his foot and smiles. He feels foolish. Maybe he is foolish. He doesn’t care, though; fools still get to be in love.
Hyungwon tuts. “You can’t come up with stupid analogies and then forget them. Where were you this morning?”
“I got up with Kihyun and showered early.” Minhyuk stops watching the TV, holds Hyungwon’s hand tightly and explains, proudly, “We made food and put it in the fridge so we all have something to reheat quickly when we get back, since Jooheonie has that radio show to go to.”
Hyungwon purses his lips. “Showered early with Kihyun?”
“No.” Minhyuk tilts his head, says quietly, “Why? Would you be jealous.”
“Would I fuck.” Hyungwon scoffs, but Minhyuk knows he’s pretending again and he’s glad for it.
--
Minhyuk steps over a pile of shoes and peers around the corner and into the cramped space between the clothing rail and the window. He grins, kicks at Hyungwon’s side with his toe, gently. “You really do spend your life gravitating towards places to sleep,” he says and kneels down to lean over Hyungwon’s body to pick up the ipad lying on the blanket next to him.
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.” Hyungwon rubs his eyes. He’s finished shooting, so he can fuck up his makeup as much as he wants. Minhyuk's finished too, now. Changkyun and Hyunwoo still have shots to do, but the group shots were done first, so it won’t be long before they’re being herded together to say thank you to the staff and go back to the dorm.
“But you know I’m right.” Minhyuk sits down cross-legged and opens up a new window on the tablet.
“It’s like you know me better than I know myself,” Hyungwon pushes himself up into a sitting position and searches the floor around him for his glasses.
Minhyuk finds them first. Says, “Do you ever think it’s weird -- how well we know each other?” and hands them over.
“I don’t know,” Hyungwon replies. “Do you?”
Minhyuk shakes his head. “I don’t think so.”
Hyungwon smiles, rolls his eyes and says, “Good. Now for more important things,” and lies back down. “I’d ask you to join me, but there’s only room for one in my secret sleeping place.”
Minhyuk pouts, but he doesn’t want to sleep, anyway. He wants to wander, to talk to everyone, to monitor the screens and take photos and enjoy the end of the shoot. When he crawls out from under the rail of clothes and back into the commotion of the photoshoot, it feels a little bit like climbing out of the rabbit hole, or back through the wardrobe, and leaving a little world of magic and stopped-time behind.
He steals snacks from the table and sips Jooheon’s coffee, thinks about home comforts like the weight of Hyungwon’s hand in his and the sly looks Hyungwon gives him when he thinks Minhyuk isn’t looking, and then, when the shoot is over and they get back to the dorm, he climbs back down into the rabbit hole and into Hyungwon's bed.