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Newt, Tina, Sophia, and Theseus are standing around the beach, tired and sandy, having just reluctantly gotten dressed again for dinner. Sophia and Theseus are playing slapsies, which is punctuated by Sophia trying to play dirty and slapping him on the face instead; Newt is lost in thought, staring at the water and contemplating lethifolds; and Tina is practicing some basic Auror defense spells so as not to get too out of practice despite the current lack of excitement. Sophia has just come over and jabbed Newt in the ribs out of pure boredom when Elsie materializes with a camera.
"Hello, darlings!" she cries, waving the camera and coming down the hill. "If we could get a quick family picture —"
"We aren't a family!" Newt says indignantly, glaring at Sophia.
"You could've fooled me," Tina remarks dryly, then puts her wand away and concedes, "Fine."
"A photograph?" Theseus says keenly, as though he's never heard of such a thing.
"Quick, everyone look good," Sophia instructs, and strikes a commanding pose, the intimidating effect of which is diminished significantly seeing as she's a solid foot shorter than everyone else.
The end result makes Elsie's face fall slightly in disappointment: Newt is gazing skyward with an expression of mild distress, Tina looks confused and not at all smiley (in fact, none of them are very smiley), and only Theseus and Sophia appear as though they were remotely aware that a picture was being taken. Elsie considers cropping Newt and Tina out, because the shot of Sophia and Theseus is actually rather nice, but when she said "family photo" she meant family, and thus she heaves a long-suffering sigh — really, if she hadn't already gone grey, this ridiculous bunch of adult children would have done the trick splendidly — and thanks them.
"Have you never been in a photograph before?" Sophia turns on Newt as his mother departs, muttering exasperated comments under her breath about not having signed up for this.
Newt scowls. "Have you never had a heart for a poor magizoologist —"
"I have a heart!" Sophia shouts. "I'm only saying —"
"Well, then say it in your head."
Tina groans loudly and covers her face with her hands, two seconds away from simply burying her head in the sand like an ostrich.
"I daresay we all looked very nice," Theseus says placatingly.
"Newt's just peckish," Sophia says airily. If she doesn't stop mocking his British mannerisms... it's not as though American slang makes any more sense.
"Mum!" Newt calls for backup.
"Be nice!" Elsie instructs them ever so helpfully from the patio.
"I am nice," Newt insists.
"So am I," Sophia counters.
"Dear god, make it stop," Theseus says helplessly. "What is it again? Ah, birds in their little nests agree."
This prompts a long argument in which Newt makes several slights about Sophia's size in relation to a hummingbird and she waves her wand around threateningly before Tina removes it from her and asks Theseus if it's possible to Summon food already — if not to quell Newt and Sophia's clearly hunger-fueled quarrel, to occupy their mouths and block the words coming out.
Finally dinner is ready and everyone calms down, Sophia pecking Newt on the cheek and Newt begrudgingly offering a conciliatory hug. Still, he laughs with her later over an inside joke, and Tina and Theseus (and probably the whole of the island) heave sighs of relief.
Later that night, as the foursome congregates around the fireplace, Elsie bustles in with a framed rendition of the family photo gone somewhat wrong.
"We're cute," Sophia admits, appraising it. "Newt looks kinda shifty, but ya know... can't do anything about that now. I mean, it's his face, I think we've all come to terms with it." The Newt in the photo fidgets awkwardly, only proving her point.
"Please be nice," Tina begs Sophia.
"Oh, it's fine," Sophia says dismissively. "You think he looks perfect and handsome and attractive... and that's all he really cares about."
Tina blushes and looks at Newt, who shrugs sheepishly and tugs her closer to him on the couch. "It is true."
She beams. "Well, I do think you're —"
"Gross," Sophia comments, then holds up the photograph and scrutinizes it some more. "At least Theseus looks dashing." She flashes a cheeky grin at the war hero.
"I think that's quite enough," Newt says firmly, but rather than shove the photo under the nearest available pillow or book, he sends it flying onto the mantel, where it rests comfortably and strikingly vivid between dusty pictures of the Scamander brothers from decades ago.
"One big happy family," Tina declares, kissing Newt on the cheek while Sophia kicks her legs up into Theseus's lap.
And they are.
Gorgeously illustrated and inspired by Fen's drawing! It can be found here on Tumblr.