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On the Helicarrier, alarms blare, signaling an escape prisoner. S.H.I.E.L.D agents were called to the wing, to find the prisoner running in their direction, the held up weapon, only to be knocked from their hands, with the prisoners amazing acrobatic skills, then
Fury’s angry voice came over the comm lines…
“Agents, have you captured the prisoner yet!?” Fury shouted.
“No Sir, he’s making his way to the lower wing.” One Agent responded.
“Who escaped anyway?” Clint said over the line making his way to the lower wing.
“Loki, Agent Barton.” Fury said.
“Loki?” Natasha said confused. Loki was doing better since he had been with S.H.I.E.L.D and away from Victor von Doom and their on again off again abusive relationship, Loki was a model prisoner, he was even making amends with the Avengers, so why
escape?
“He was doing so well, what happened?” Natasha said.
“I don’t know, but whoever did anything to him is getting an arrow to the eye.” Clint said.
Natasha and Clint made it to the lower wing to find Loki standing at the edge…
“Loki!” Natasha yelled.
Loki turned around and waved and said “Hi, sorry about the personnel injuries, but it was necessary.”
Clint notched an arrow and said “Why escape, Loki, you were doing better, you were going to get released early.”
Loki just smiled and said “Because today is a very special day, and nothing is going to keep me from spending time with my Victor!”
“Special day?” Clint said lowering his arrow.
“Duh! Since you’re here I might as well, say goodbye,” Loki said and then flipped of the edge and shouted “AND HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!”
“Oh my god!” Natasha shouted and ran to the edge to see Loki waving at her from an S.H.I.E.L.D speed boat heading towards Latveria.
“Wait did he say Valentine’s day?” Clint said.
*o*O*o*
At Doom’s castle, Loki kicked down a door and yelled cheerfully “VICTOR I’M HOME!!!”
Then Loki took in the seen before him, Doom’s personnel were dead, and/or injured and the place was mess.
“What happened?” Loki said confused.
“Namor happened,” Spider, Doom’s right hand man, said.
Loki rushed over to him and healed his side wound and said “What happened?”
“Namor stormed in with hired help and shot up the place, put a bag over Doom’s head and took off.” Spider said.
Loki sighed and said “I need to get him back, today is very special to me and I don’t want anybody ruining it, you still have my stuff?” since Loki still was in his S.H.I.E.L.D prisoner outfit
“Yes, but you’re going to need some fire power, Loki.” Spider said opening a door to reveal an array of weapons.
“WHOA! Where did these babies come from?” Loki said admiring the hand pistols on his left.
“Doom’s was making a little extra money, smuggling weapons for mob bosses,” Spider explained.
Loki picks up a machine gun and struck a pose and said “How do I look?”
“It suits you,” Spider said grinning “Namor is back in the states in New York, probably.”
“Then, that’s where I’m heading,” Loki said “Prepare the jet for me will you.”
“Sure,” Spider said walking away “Anything else?”
“Yes, after you prepare the jet, I need you to get, black roses, candles, and an assortment box of chocolates,” Loki rattled off “Ten almonds, Four dark chocolates, Six white chocolates, and lemon granita.”
“You got it,” Spider said a little confused but didn’t question it.
*o*O*o*
Namor stood on a makeshift stage and said “Now, in a way we all have been wrong, by Doctor Doom in some way shape or fashion, and I’m giving you a chance to take revenge on him, you can have to do whatever, bullet to the head, stabbed repeatedly, or make him your personal servant, do as you wish, but for 100,000 dollars, each of you will get a ball and if it’s called , Doctor Doom is all yours, so who want to take me up on this offer?”
People in the room raise their hands, but on person in particular raised their hand and shouted “Oh! Me! Me! Me!”
Namor recognized that voice and said “Loki!”
Loki got out of his seat and walked down the aisle and stood in front of Namor and said “Hey, Namor, what’s up?”
Namor blinked at Loki, Loki was wearing a dumbed down version of his armor and looked completely defenseless.
“You picked a bad time to come and get your boyfriend,” Namor growled.
“Sorry but today is a special day, Namor,” Loki said cheerfully “So save yourself some trouble and hand Victor over to me, you can get revenge later or whenever.”
“Or you’ll what, hit over the head with a mallet?” Namor mocked.
The Loki pulled out a hand pistol and shot Namor in the arm, then use his acrobatic skill to shot the people in the first 3 rows dead, and he took out a grenade pull out the pin and said “And don’t forget the cherry on top!” and threw it in the crowd and it exploded sending dead bodies everywhere. Then Loki walked up to Namor and said “Now where’s Victor?”
“He’s not here, I hid him until the raffle was over,” Namor said clutching his arm.
“Huh? What? Sorry my ears were still ringing from that grenade,” Loki said patting his ears.
“I said Doom’s not here,” Namor said again.
“What!” Loki growled “Then where the hell is he!?”
“Why should a tell you,” Namor retorted.
“Because I feel extra romantic and extra violent today!” Loki half yelled and half growled “Now tell me where’s Victor?”
“In my warehouse by the shipping yard at the Brooklyn water front,” Namor said.
“Good, now I need you to get me something,” Loki said.
“Sure, anything, what is it, Money, a hit?” Namor said.
“Chardonnay and Champagne, the good kind, delivery it to Latveria, in under 2 hours.” Loki said walking away.
“Sure you got it,” Namor said a little confused, but he didn’t want to get shot again so he did question it.
*o*O*o*
Loki ran to get to the door that led outside, as soon as he opened the door, he saw S.H.I.E.L.D personnel waiting for him, and opened fire. Loki screamed and ducked behind huge creates.
“La, la, la, I can’t hear you!” Loki said covering his ears.
Then Thor came over the megaphone and said “Brother! We will not harm you if you come back to the floating fortress, just surrender.”
Loki was getting really tired of this and yelled back “Two things, one it’s called the Helicarrier Thor! Two today’s a special day and nothing going to stop me, so get out of the way before you get hurt!”
“What are you going to do!?” Steve said “Use a little magic to blast us back!?”
Then Loki ran out in to the open with a semi-automatic bazooka and yelled “I warned you!” and shot it straight at the two Avengers who ducked for cover. Loki saw his chance and hopped in a car and sped off towards the water front, with S.H.I.E.L.D not far behind.
Then Loki’s cell phone rang and he answer it “Hello!?”
“Hey, Loki,” Spider said over the line “I got all the stuff you wanted and Namor dropped off the good Chardonnay and Champagne you wanted, but I had to replace the Lemon Granita with cherries.”
“What!?” Loki exclaimed “No, No, No! Victor hates cherries; you need to find lemon granita!”
“But…” Spider started but was cut off by an angry Loki shouting “LEMON GRANITA!”
“Ok, Ok, I’ll get the granita.” Spider said and hung up.
*o*O*o*
At the warehouse the guards there were on the lookout for Loki.
“Are you sure it’s just Loki?” One guy said.
“Yes,” the person at the window said.
“That can’t be right he probably teamed up with, Osborne or something.” The guy said.
“Nope, it’s just him,” the guy at the window said.
“Still don’t believe it.”
Then a car came through the wall and out came Loki shooting everybody dead expect for one person, mainly because he ran out of bullets.
“Well, well, looks like Loki isn’t playing by the rules today,” he said.
“Look, I’m have a bad day, just tell me were Victor is and I won’t hurt you,” Loki said.
“Or you’ll what spray acid in my face,” he taunted.
“Finally somebody got it right,” Loki said and sprayed acid in the man’s face and stepped over him to the door he was guarding.
Loki kicks down the door and said “Victor! I’m here to rescue you!”
Then he sees an empty chair, and stomps his foot in frustration and shouts “DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT TO HELL! WHERE IS HE!?”
“Not here,” an amused voice said. Loki spun around to see Tony Stark and Bruce Banner standing unarmed.
“What do you want?” Loki said.
“Clint called us telling about your little escape,” Bruce said.
“And you were always one step ahead of us, for once,” Tony said clapping.
“So?” Loki said.
“So we didn’t know what you wanted, until your friend Spider told us, you were looking for Victor,” Bruce said.
“He is now on the Helicarrier in a private room I set up for you two for Valentine’s Day;” Tony said “Soundproof of course, all you have to do is turn yourself in.”
“Do you have all the stuff I asked Spider and Namor for in there?” Loki questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, it’s really hard to get Lemon Granita, at this time in the year,” Tony said with an all knowing smirk.
Loki thought about it for a moment and dropped his weapon and stuck out his arms, smiled and said “Well what are you waiting for?”
Bruce puts on a pair of hand cuff and walks Loki out to the jet to take them back to the Helicarrier.
*o*O*o*
Loki skipped alongside the guards escorting him to Doom, they opened the door, Doom turned around and said “Loki?”
“Hi, Vicki!” Loki said hugging him.
Doom returned the hug and said “I heard about what you did?”
“And?” Loki said a little nervous.
“I’m proud of you,” Doom said “But what I want to know is why?”
Loki laughed, slid off his mask kissed him and said “Because it’s Valentine’s Day! And nothing was going to stop it from spending it with you!”
Doom blushed and said “That’s my Loki.”
Loki beamed and said “I got all your favorites.”
“I see,” Doom said looking at the table “You even got Lemon Granita.”
Loki smiled and said “If you’re good you may get a little more, after dinner.”
Doom grinned and sat next to Loki thinking ‘Best Valentine’s Day Ever.’
*o*O*o*
In the meeting room, the Avengers watch the interaction between Loki and Doom.
“He caused a lot of trouble today,” Fury said.
“Yea, but we all have to admit, it was kind of sweet,” Pepper said.
Everybody murmured in agreement, and then Jane asks “So what happens now?”
“Loki’s doctor says he should be back to normal in a day or two,” Clint said popping a bottle of Champagne.
“Psychos in love,” Tony said “As disturbing as it may been, it is kind of sweet.”
“A toast to psychotic love,” Natasha said raising her glass. Everybody clinked their glasses together and drank to a pretty nice Valentine’s Day.
*o*O*o*
The next morning Loki woke up naked beside Doom, smiled and went back to sleep think ‘Happy Valentine’s Day Vicki.’