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2021-10-27
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2022-06-30
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3/?
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A Guide to Dismay

Chapter 3

Notes:

06/30/2022

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When he woke up, he wasn't sure where he was. To be completely honest, he doesn't even remember falling asleep. So to wake up to a ceiling made of clean white tile instead of the normal dingey wood of the bar was jarring. The bed and sheets were different too, softer. They were by no means the best he'd ever slept on, but better than what he had been living with for the last year or so.

His memories of the day quickly surfaced as he took in the faces before him. All Might and Eraserhead sat on his right, blocking the path to the door, while Katsuki sat on his left in front of the window. The intent was clear, preventing him from attempting to run off. Surprisingly, All Might was sitting in his skinnier form. Did Katsuki and Eraserhead already know about it?

Despite having been looking right at the man, he jumps when All Might greets him. "Welcome back to the land of the living my boy!"

He lets out a quiet "uh," not sure how to respond, and flicks his eyes to the other two people in the room.

Katsuki snorts beside him, "we know he's All Might, nerd. Idiot tried to stay in his All Might form when I got here, but was forced to transform back. Hobo-sensei had to stop me from attacking him 'cause I thought he was a fake." He sees the man flush red out of the corner of his eye.

"The staff were told when he was officially hired on. We'd have found out one way or another anyway," Eraserhead explains. He can hear All Might grumble to himself about being able to keep a secret, but ignores it. 

He nods in understanding, then snorts quietly to himself as a thought flits through his mind. When Katsuki asks what was funny, he whispers out the words, "small might."

For a second, nothing happened, then all at once, the room exploded with noise. All Might sputtered in embarrassment as Katsuki burst out into raucous laughter and Eraserhead attempted to hide his chuckles in his capture scarf. Izuku himself couldn't contain his own giggles either.

"As funny as that was," Eraserhead eventually says. The room quickly sobers, the laughter from just a moment ago dying as they're reminded of the current situation. "A detective will probably be by soon to get your statement, but I have some questions of my own to ask you.”

And so they spend the next several minutes going back and forth. Eraserhead asks him several questions and Izuku answers them to fit the narrative he spent three days developing.  He makes sure his responses and explanations have enough detail to be believable, but not so much that it becomes over-exaggerated. He explains how he ended up as a prisoner and what the last year had been like, but carefully keeps from mentioning his father, holding on to that detail until the right moment.

"It's strange," Eraserhead says when he finishes.

All Might looks at him in confusion. "What is?"

"I'm not sure. His story makes sense, they do seem like the type to keep a hostage in a situation like the USJ, but why did they hold onto him for a year? A couple weeks to months I could understand, but a whole year? And why did they bring him out now if they had held onto him for so long? It doesn't make sense."

Katsuki growls in annoyance, "what does that fucking mean? You don't believe him or some shit?" The two quickly devolve into an argument from there.

At first, he's just shocked. So far, the heroes had seemed to just eat his story up. They seemed to believe his sob story so easily, just desperate to help the "poor innocent victim." Part of him was surprised they bought it so easily, but now that they had, he was more shocked to have it questioned. It wasn't like there would be anything to contradict his story. The only information they could actually check were the dates of his mom's death and when he was officially declared missing. Everything else was his word and his word alone.

Then, involuntarily and inexplicably, he started to tear up some.

He hadn't cried since his mom died, he hadn't allowed himself to. So this was a completely unexpected reaction on his part. He supposes it was overdue, his emotional pot finally boiling over.

Another part of him thinks it might be lingering frustration from when he was quirkless. For so much of his life no one believed him or his side of a story simply because he didn't have a quirk like the rest of the kids. To now be faced with a similar situation brings that feeling bubbling back to the surface.

Then something changes.

"It's because he's quirkless, isn't it? Fucking quirkist asshole."

"No. His quirk or lack thereof has no effect on my judgment. I also never claimed not to believe him."

Izuku looks up at him through his tears, "you didn't?"

"No, I didn't, problem child," Eraserhead huffed. "I was just saying it seemed like you left something out."

He curls forward until his head hits the bed in front of him and sniffles quietly in relief for a moment. He figured now was as good a time as any and sits up to look at Eraserhead and All Might. "I-I did leave out one detail. I wasn't if you'd believe me or not. If I hadn't experienced it myself I'd have a hard time believing it," he explains.

"We can only help as much as you let us kid," All Might tells him. "We'll believe you, no matter how outrageous it sounds."

Izuku nods and takes a deep breath. "Shigaraki isn't the actual leader of the League of Villains. Well, he us, but only kind of. He's being backed by someone even more powerful and terrifying."

"More creepy than Fuckhands McMike?" Katsuki snorts, but he ignores him.

He levels his gaze at the two heroes. "He goes by the name All for One," he sees the small gasp All Might takes in more than hears it. "From my understanding, he's been around since the dawn of quirks. I don't know any details about his past other than that. He's the one that created the Nomu, because he has the ability to give and take quirks."

Eraserhead looks at him skeptically. "Are you absolutely certain? How do you know he wasn't lying?"

He figured this would happen, so he looked to Katsuki. "Kacchan, I've always been quirkless, right?"

"Fucking, yeah. Why?"

"And what was my mom's quirk?"

"Some weak ass telepathy. She could only move small objects."

He looks over at the desk a few feet away and spots a small box, probably band-aids. He focuses on it and after a few seconds it takes on a purple glow and floats across the room and into his hands, just like his mom used to do. Katsuki stares in silent horror, but he just looks back at the adults. "He took my mom's quirk from her corpse and gave it to me, probably as a form of psychological torture. So yes, I am 100% certain he didn't lie to me." 

Both adults stare in shock. All Might even silently puts his hand over his mouth and lets out a quiet "oh my god."

"He liked that I was quirkless," he continued without prompting, "said I had potential, a blank slate. So he had me train for a whole year, built up my strength to receive All Might's quirk."

All Might jerked in shock, but the other two didn't seem to notice. "Why All Might's quirk?"

"He said it was the only one that opposed him. He wanted it in the hands of a willing and loyal soldier. I wasn't one, but I think he believed he could make me one." 

All Might sighs, "this is incredibly unsettling, and makes my next decision that much more difficult."

All three of them looked at him curiously. "Next decision?"

"Young Midoriya, do you remember the day we met? And the question you asked me that day?"

"Of course I do!" He exclaimed. "I don't think I'll ever forget it!"

"I had hoped to find you after the villain had been properly taken care of," the hero explained, "but I was unable to find you and later learned you'd been declared missing. Since that day, I continued to hope that I could find you once again. I wanted to tell you that the answer I gave you earlier that day was wrong. I was wrong."

His dream of being a hero died on that rooftop. He made his decision to join the league. But even knowing all of that, he couldn't help the way his eyes watered. "What?"

"I've been a hero for a very long time. Some days I forget what it's like to just be a civilian. Most times I forget what it was like to be a kid with a dream. I was wrong to tell you that you couldn't be a hero. Especially when you proved me wrong by charging bravely in to face a villain who had attacked you earlier that day to save a friend."

Izuku flushed as two pairs of eyes bored into him. "I-I wouldn't say it was brave. I was terrified."

"Nonsense! That's the very definition of bravery! It's not being fearless in the face of danger, but facing it head on despite that fear. Your bravery that day inspired me to push past my own limits if only for a moment. To have told you that you couldn't be a hero was a mistake on my part."

They both ignored Eraserhead's "you what?"

"Honestly, I was blinded by my own career. For me, being a hero has been perilous at every turn. I have probably the strongest quirk around and have almost died despite it. So when I looked at you, this scrawny kid who had almost died minutes earlier, I thought I was saving you from a worse fate down the road. Turns out I couldn't even do that much.

"So I hoped to find you and tell you that you could be a hero. I also wanted to offer you something you can probably guess after your time with All for One."

"One for All." Neither had asked a question, but they both knew it was the answer.

"Yes, I had hoped to offer it to you. Though, if you had said no, I still wanted to help train you. I think you would make a wonderful hero. Quirk or no quirk."

"Hold on," Eraserhead interrupted, "what are you two talking about?"

And so they explained the whole story. Together they explained the day they met, from the sludge villain, to the conversation on a roof, to Izuku attempting to save Katsuki from the same villain. Then All Might took over to spin a tale of two brothers and a fight passed down through eight generations of heroes, a battle he thought he had won several years ago.

"And what? You were just going to give this kid your quirk? Were you even going to tell him about the super powerful villain that would potentially be hunting him down?"

"At the time, no, not right away at least." At Eraserhead's unimpressed look, All Might continued, "I had thought the man was long dead! Had I known All for One was alive, I would have told him beforehand, I assure you Aizawa-san." Oh, that must be Eraserhead's real name.

"And you still want to give it to him? Knowing that this All for One guy is alive and that's exactly what he wants?"

"Would it make any difference?" Katsuki asks.

"Yeah. He's probably gonna hunt me down anyway. Wouldn't it be better for me to defend myself?"

"Indeed!" They all jump at the new voice. Turning, he sees the principal of UA, Nedzu, sitting on the shoulder of a man he assumes is a detective. "I do believe it would be the best choice. And quite convenient that the one you chose so long ago would need the protection, wouldn't you say, Yagi-san?" And that would be All Might’s real name he supposes.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you're suspicious about the fucking nerd too."

Nedzu hums, seeming amused. "Better to be cautious than caught unawares, Bakugou-kun. Though, I do not have too many worries about that. It may have been All for One's plan from the start, but I do believe giving Midoriya-kun One for All is our best option."

"You're not worried about falling for a trap of some kind?"

"It would have to be a very elaborate trap to get past me, Midoriya-Kun." A very elaborate trap indeed, Izuku thinks. "Though, I do have a handful of plans for that possibility. Should you accept All Might's offer, I hope to place you in class 1-A where Aizawa-san can keep an eye on you. Furthermore, seeing as you need protection, you'll be living with Aizawa-san and Present Mic for the time being," the rodent explains cheerfully.

Izuku had expected something like this. Aizawa, it seemed, had not. "He's going to what now?"

"Now, now Aizawa-kun! It's the most logical option! The boy has no biological family to return to, and he needs someone to both watch him and protect him in case the League of Villains attempts to come after him. So not only are you and your husband pro-heroes, but you both have foster licenses. Yamada-kun seemed very happy to take the poor boy in." Was that Present Mic’s name?

Aizawa only sighs, seeming to accept the situation, So Izuku latches on to something else the principal had said. "You want me to go to UA?"

"Indeed! For a couple reasons in fact. To start, as I mentioned, you'd be in 1-A where Aizawa-kun would be your homeroom teacher and can keep an eye on you. In the case that you are a spy or traitor, he could swiftly incapacitate you before you could do any real harm. But in the event that you are not, he could protect you should the League show up to attempt to claim you back."

He almost wants to laugh at the idea of them stopping him. They'd already failed to recognize one traitor. Instead, he nods, "that makes sense."

"That and," Nedzu gives him a sincere look, "I do also believe you will make a wonderful hero one day, with or without One for All."

Izuku's not sure what to make of that. Two people reaffirming a dream that had long since died? All he gets out is a choked up, "thank you, sir."

The principal smiles at him before turning serious again. "While on the subject of your schooling, we do have a slight problem."

"What is it?" Aizawa asks.

"Well, seeing as Midoriya-kun spent the last year with villains, he never finished his last year of middle school. As it stands, he cannot start high school yet."

"Oh," All Might frowns, "that is a problem."

He hums, "yes. However, there is a solution! Because situations like yours, Midoriya-kun, are not uncommon, there are a handful of programs to help children catch up to their peers."

"Well, yeah. I think everyone knows about those," he agrees, "but aren't those usually made to help catch up on a couple months, not a whole year? I can't spend a whole year in middle school."

"I agree. I would like you to start at UA as quickly as possible. That is why I plan to utilize an online option that will allow you to complete the course work at your own pace."

"What's the time frame we can expect?" Aizawa asks.

"As of currently, the fastest anyone has completed a whole year's course work is a month," the rat explains, "So if Midoriya-kun can keep a similar pace, we could catch him up on 1-A's work over a weekend, it being so early in the year."

"I'll have it done in a week! By next Friday at the latest!"

All Might jumps. "Are you sure my boy? You don't need to push yourself"

"If anyone could, it'd be the nerd. Even without an intelligence quirk, he's smart as fuck."

"Hmm, and he'd be just in time for the sports festival. What wonderful timing." His ears twitch in what he assumes is interest.

"Hold on, you can't expect him to participate." Aizawa protests.

"Of course not. Why advertise to the villains he just escaped exactly where to find him?" Nedzu reassures. "I just think that, should he complete the course work in the time frame he claims to, then it will be a good time to join after the festival. And should a non-hero course student win, it would be calming to both students to not be the only new kid."

"I don't mean to interrupt," he nearly jumps out of his skin when the detective speaks, he'd almost forgotten the man was there, "but I really do need to get back to the station soon."

"Of course detective! We can hash out more details after," Nedzu says as Aizawa offers the detective his chair.

Suddenly, Katsuki jolts like he just remembered something and turns to All Might, "how much does he know?"

The man just stares, "I'm not sure what you mean, kid?"

"How much does he know about, ya know-"

"If you mean about One for All, it's history, and connection to All for One," the detective starts, not looking up from his notepad, "Yagi-san and I are good friends, so I know most everything."

Izuku nods, "that makes sense. Or else they wouldn't have discussed it so openly with you in the room."

He finally looks up and smiles warmly at him, "exactly. Now, I'm Detective Tsukauchi and I'll be heading the investigation on the attack at the Unforeseen Simulation Joint or the USJ for short. I'll also probably be presiding over any and all investigations involving the League of Villains, but I only have a few questions for you today."

Tsukauchi? Why was that name so familiar? "The quirkless Detective?"

The man nods, "I see my reputation precedes me." Of course it did. Basically all quirkless people knew about him. Not many people like them made it so far in their careers, let alone were so well respected. "Now, do you mind if I record the interview for my colleagues and I to review later?"

"Not at all. Go ahead."

"Alright, to start, can you give me your name, age, and quirk?"

"Midoriya Izuku. I'm 15, and, uh, I was quirkless, but now I have my mom's quirk."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"Uh, I'm not sure if-"

"You can discuss All for One, many officers already know of him."

"Okay. Well, after the League took me, he found my mom's body and stole her quirk to give to me. So I'm not technically quirkless anymore. I still have the extra toe joint and all." And he does, but not because he was quirkless. Rather, it's because his father was born before quirked people evolved out of it.

"And how did you end up with the league of villains?"

"Ah, well, after my mom died, I kind of ran away. I was just wandering the streets for a while, and when I was looking for shelter one night, I accidentally stumbled upon their hideout."

"Do you remember where their base is?"

"Not specifically? I know it was an abandoned bar in the Kamino Ward, but not any street names."

"That's alright, that already helps a ton. Do you know how many actual members the league had?"

"Unless you count me, only four. Shigaraki, Kurogiri, All for One, and some doctor I never met. All the villains at the USJ were only there for that attack to act as cannon fodder."

"We certainly don't count prisoners. How did they treat you?"

"Uh, alright for the most part. At first, Shigaraki was mean, always threatening to hurt or kill me. Kurogiri was just generally polite. All for One was weird. At first he didn't care much about me, but when he decided to give me All Might's quirk, he treated me almost like a prized pet sometimes and like a soldier he needed to whip into shape other times."

"Did they ever actually hurt you?"

"Not really. Other than for 'training' I was always treated like one of them. I guess they figured if they were nice I'd join willingly?"

"Okay. And did you ever try to leave or escape before today?"

"No, the only times I left the bar was for training or to see All for One, and it was always through Kurogiri's portals."

"You've mentioned training twice now, can you tell me what that was like?"

"Ah, it was a type of strength and combat training. I needed to be stronger to handle All Might's quirk and I needed to be able to fight. So they would send me into alleyways to fight villains. To keep me from dying, Shigaraki would come with me to kill my opponent if I started losing too badly."

"And why did Shigaraki bring you to the USJ?"

"He wasn't supposed to. All for One didn't want to risk me getting away, like I have. The original plan was for Shigaraki and Kurogiri to kill All Might and bring him back for All for One to take his quirk. Shigaraki thought it would be easier to kill All Might if a civilian was at stake."

"Alright. Last question. Do you know why All for One wanted to give you All Might's quirk? From our understanding, he previously wanted it for himself."

“What he told me was that it wasn't that he really wanted it for himself, but more that he wanted it out of the hands of the enemy. So by giving it to me, it'd be in the hands of a willing and loyal soldier. Like it was always meant to be. Those were his exact words when I asked.”

"All right, that's the last of my questions, thank you for your time." Finally, he stops the recording and gets up to leave.

All Might also stands and offers to walk the man to his car. At the same time, Nedzu asks Aizawa to come with him to find Present Mic, or Yamada-Kun as he called him, to discuss the details of his future schooling and living situation. All at once, he and Katsuki are left alone.

For a while neither of them said anything. Katsuki was looking at stuff on his phone while he stared into space. Eventually he got tired of the quiet.

"Hey Kacchan?"

The blond looked up from his phone, "Yeah? What's up?"

He wasn't quite sure how to word the question he wanted to ask. So instead he said, "you called be by my name."

"Oh," it seemed he didn't even actually need to ask it. Katsuki is quiet for a moment, contemplating. "When I got home that day, it took my mom ten minutes to even notice I was there. She'd been cleaning like fuckin' crazy. I think it was her way of coping with auntie dying. She didn't even know the sludge villain shit had happened."

"What? How?"

Katsuki shrugged, "no clue, but she was in the middle of cleaning the spare room for you when I told her. She hugged me and told me what happened to auntie. Then she said you'd be living with us while they looked for next of kin, 'cause they're your god parents. But we all knew your shitty ass dad wouldn't show.

"Then we got the call that you were missing. They figured you'd jumped out your window and ran off. At first I didn't think much of it, just figured you were being a whiny shit and would show up after a week. My mom kept going to the police to ask if they'd found anything. I think two and a half weeks in we realized they were never really looking, the assholes.

"After that, we'd go down as a family to demand they keep looking, but they fucking brushed us aside. Said some shit about having more important shit to do. It was frustrating. Then one week we met this quirkless lady. I don't know why she was there, but I guess she heard my mom screaming at one of the cop fuckers and took pity on us.

"She told us everything. About the life of a quirkless person, all the shit they deal with, and what really happens when a quirkless person goes missing."

He stiffens, "so you thought..." He doesn't know where the sudden lump in his throat came from, but he couldn't get the words out around it.

The other nodded anyway. "She told us about the rising number of cases of missing quirkless people and how it perfectly coincided with the dropping number of quirkless suicides. She even warned us that we wouldn't be able to hold a proper funeral, and it would have to be at home. Apparently, they just want to make life hell for quirkless people, even in death.

"My folks held out hope, but I knew the truth. At least I thought I did. I knew if you had, that it was my fault. I told you to. But I didn't fuckin' say anything. I was too ashamed and angry. It took like two weeks and seven fucking fights before I broke and spilled everything. And I mean everything."

"Don't you fight with your mom all the time though?"

"I meant physical fights at school with the damn extras. They'd make jokes about you and I'd get so fucking angry. I couldn't understand how they couldn't see how fucked all the shit we did to you was. So I beat the shit out of them. 3 of them was me against more of them. Once I was even against five of them. I broke like 6 kids' noses. Finally forced the principal to call my mom over it. After I told her everything I got chewed out for almost 3 hours and was grounded the rest of the school year."

"Only that long?"

"The hag was gonna make it 'til I graduated UA, but my dad talked her out of it. Convinced her that just grounding me didn't fuckin' teach me anything. So after your funeral, they made me start therapy and anger management, and made me do community service."

"My funeral?" This story just seemed to go deeper and deeper.

"If you could even call it that. Really it was just my folks and I at our place. Couldn't hold a proper one without the death certificate, but no death certificate without a body to prove you'd died. Which is fucked by the way. We got one for Auntie after like a month without her body, but not you?"

"It's one of the ways they fudge quirkless death statistics," he explains absentmindedly, "they leave you as declared missing until you'd have reached 80 before finally admitting you probably died so they can say quirkless people live to 80. For quirked people is can be done in a matter of months."

"Well that's fucked."

"And all of that made you change your mind?"

"Mostly, yeah. The real nail in the coffin was learning my dad had a quirkless sister."

This shocks Izuku, "What? But why have we never met her?"

"Emphasis on had, nerd. She killed herself at 16, years before either of us were born. Apparently, she's how my folks met, `cause our moms were friends with her originally." Suddenly a lot of his mom, Aunt Mitsuki, and Uncle Masaru's behavior after he was diagnosed made a lot of sense.

"I didn't fully consider you a person after we were told you weren't gonna get a quirk," he continued after a moment. "It's fucked up, but I didn't. Everyone had a quirk. You were the only one who didn't. I didn't know how to react, but then the teachers treated you different, so I did too. We all treated you like shit, and no one fucking stopped us. No one told us we were wrong. Hell, by middle school they practically encouraged it. It's not an excuse, but it's my explanation. I promise to fucking make it up to you and be a better person."

"You're not gonna apologize?"

"Not yet. I will one of these days, but not yet. I still need to atone for my shit, and I'm not riskin' you trying to forgive me before I have."

"Is that really up to you though?" He doesn't answer, so they both sit quietly. Eventually his brain latches onto something Katsuki said. "You did community service?"

"Yeah, still do on occasion. I volunteer at one of the quirkless homeless shelters. I used to go once a week, but now I only go once a month ‘cause all the homework and shit UA gives us. I learned a lot from the people there." There's barely a pause before he blurts out with "why did you do it?" like he did it before he could chicken out.

He paused to consider his answer. "That day had already been a lot. Between school, the villain, and the heroes I was exhausted. So when I got home to find out my mom was dead and I would either be living with you or some random foster family. I panicked and figured the streets were safer. I know you never physically hurt me, but your words hurt me more than anything anyone else did."

"I didn't think my words could actually hurt someone," he admitted. "At the time that's all they were to me, fucking words. When we were told you'd probably killed yourself and I realized it would've, at least in part, been my fault, was the first time I understood how much damage words could do." 

He wasn't sure how to react to that. His own mind was at war with itself. Part of him wanted to be angry, to scream. He only just realized how awful what he did was? It took thinking he was dead for him to understand? Where does he get off thinking he gets to atone now? 

Another part wanted to forgive him. It was an older part of him he had died a decade ago, but he supposed the five year old clinging to a friend inside of him will never truly die.

The last part of him feels guilty for causing him and his family so much pain and misery over the last year. It's this part of him that calls out to him when Aizawa comes to tell him his parents are here to pick him up. "Just so you know," he starts when the blond's head pops around the doorway, “I never intended to do that when I ran. I never took those words to heart." He doesn't respond, but before he disappears again, Izuku sees some amount of relief flood his eyes.

Notes:

Hello!! I didn't take several months to update again!! Hooray!!

First things first, I need to give credit to SippingMyTea and their series Quirkless Code. That is where I got the idea for part of Bakugou's explanation at the end. The idea of quirkless suicide rates dropping while the number of missing quirkless people goes up is all they're idea. I asked and they were so kind to let me add their idea into my fic. I HIGHLY recommend reading their story, its so good!!

I will say though, the idea of the police not allowing loved ones to have a proper funeral by not admitting they're dead is my own idea. I literally came up with it while writing this. Just like I had the thought that AFO was around at the dawn of quirks before quirked people evolved to not have the extra toe joint. I really like a lot of the head canons surrounding quirkless people and the idea of them being "less evolved" than quirked people. I will be using a lot of that for future shenanigans.

Also, man this is a beast of a chapter. Its 18 pages on my google docs ad 21 in my physical notebook. For reference, the first two chapters combined were 15 pages on docs and 16 in my notebook. It took HOURS for me to write this all out, so I really really hope you guys enjoyed it. Also, let me know if it felt too long. I don't think it did, but idk, I'm not the one reading it. Also, idk why but there were words I felt like I was using a lot?? Idk, I'm really tired, lol.

I do have plans for the next several chapters. Like at least the next 6-8 chapters I think. So while I'm hopeful and my tentive goal is a chapter around once a month, I still don't wanna promise me cuz I could so easily drop into writers block or ADHD paralysis, so. Well see.

Notes:

I've temporarily chose not tagged any of the archive warnings cuz I don't think any of them are relevant for my fic, but I'm not sure yet, so that might change down the line. Further more, I don't have a ton of tags, so if there any specific things you guys want tagged like triggers or something, let me know, I'm not good at tags, lol