Chapter Text
Chapter 6
Simon’s POV
Simon is still frozen in place with his hand against his mouth when he hears the door to the shelter close, taking his opportunity to stop Wille from leaving with it. When he snaps out of it all he can do is swear violently.
“Shit, fuck… oh shit,” Because not only has Simon managed to let Wille leave without explaining himself, he also knows that Wille is probably beating himself up over the whole thing.
The truth is, the second Wille’s lips collided with his he was so sure he’d actually died on the spot and went to heaven that he wasn’t given the opportunity to react let alone kiss him back. He was pretty sure he had been flung into dream land and was only pulled out again when Wille had pulled away just as quickly. He was still halfway convinced he had imagined the whole thing before he registered the look on Wille’s face. Wille was out the door before Simon could even think of stopping him.
Honestly he was half convinced that Wille knew Simon’s feelings and was too polite to say anything. Wille’s reaction tonight proves that point wrong. Simon is kind of in disbelief that Wille hasn’t figured out that Simon is basically in love with him. He doesn’t even know how it happened so fast. One minute he was dreading realizing working with Wille three times a week and the next he couldn’t imagine his life without him in it anymore.
All he knows is he needs to get to Wille’s as soon as possible. He’s not quite sure how to make this happen though. He doesn’t know Wille’s address and he doesn’t even know if the buses are still running, and even if they are, if the bus will lead to Wille’s. He spends a few moments brainstorming while also feeling the undercurrent emotion of panic over Wille slipping away.
Finally an idea hits him. He has no idea if she’s awake and even if she is, if she’ll help him but it’s his only chance.
hi felice. it’s simon. i know this is a long shot and you might
already be asleep anyways but i need your help.
He gets a response almost immediately and jumps to grab at his phone.
simon! good to hear from you. what’s up?
Simon swears if this all works out he is going to owe Felice the biggest favor. He will literally do anything she asks of him if this all ends up going to plan
i kind of messed up with wille and i need to fix it
something happened and i kind of need to get to him as fast as
possible but i don’t have transportation of his address
i can be there in 10
Simon is pretty sure he could cry. He might not have completely messed things up after all.
oh my god thank you
i owe you so much
you don’t owe me a thing. you make wille happy
and that’s enough for me
God, he can see why Wille is willing to fight to the death for this girl. Simon is pretty sure he’d do anything for her at this point and he’s only known her for a few weeks.
After the last message from Felice, Simon can only wait. He would send a text to Wille but he wants to say all he has to say in person. He worries things will just get more mixed up if he texts or calls instead. He checks back in with Felle to make sure her and the pups are doing well (they are) before doing one last check of all the other animals. He finishes locking things up and decides to wait for Felice outside.
Just as she promised, ten minutes later a car is pulling into one of the spaces in front of the shelter. Simon runs to the passenger side of the car and climbs in. He buckles his seatbelt before glancing over at Felice who’s looking at him with an already familiar expression on her face. The glint in her eye hints at her probably already figuring out what kind of thing happened tonight.
“Felice, thank you so…” Before Simon can even finish, Felice is already interrupting his appreciation.
“I already told you there’s really no need for that. Anything for Wille’s happiness.” Felice explains. She starts pulling out of the parking lot. They’re silent for a few minutes but Simon knows it won’t last.
“So… what exactly happened tonight? You guys are usually out of here by 6:00” Felice finally breaks. Simon can’t even make eye contact with her as he begins to explain how he had fucked up tonight.
“Well, Felle had her pups tonight,” Before he can continue Felice lets out a little squeal of excitement.
“Are you serious?” Simon gives her a look and she settles down again. “Sorry, continue, it’s not about that right now” She even mimes zipping her lips and throwing away the key. Simon can’t help but smother a small smile with his hand at the gesture.
“Anyways, everything went well and we were finally getting ready to go and I guess Wille was overly tired because he kissed me,” Simon hears Felice gasp in excitement but she still doesn’t say anything, clearly sticking to her zipped mouth rule. Simon feels himself begin to ramble “And I was so surprised and overwhelmed that I froze. I didn’t even realize it was happening until he was pulling away. Honestly this is the moment I’ve been waiting for for months and I fucked it up by not reacting. And then I was so frozen over how right it felt that Wille must have taken my reaction as negative because he ran away before I could stop him and here we are,” Simon is practically out of breath by the time he’s done. He hasn’t looked Felice in the eye since the rambling began, not wanting to see her disappointment in Simon hurting her best friend.
Instead, Felice continues to surprise him. Felice chuckles lightly before Simon watches as she shakes her head lightly with a fond smile on her face.
“Oh Wille, I’m pretty sure he’s the only one that can’t see you’re just as gone for him as he is for you,” Simon blushes at how obvious his affections were to other people but then remembers that Felice seemed to pick up on how he felt about Wille the moment she met him.
“I mean, that’s what I was thinking. I was pretty convinced he could tell and he just didn’t want to hurt my feelings by turning me down,” Simon admits, slightly sheepish.
“Simon, I’m only telling you this because I know you feel the same but, Wille has been gone for you since the moment he saw you,” Simon feels his stomach flutter at the idea of his feelings being reciprocated. He flushes and looks down at his lap. They’re silent for a few moments before Felice opens her mouth again.
“Listen Simon,” Simon already has a feeling he knows what kind of speech is coming but it’s his turn to sit and listen so he doesn’t interrupt despite the nervous feeling in his stomach. “I can see how happy Wille is when he’s with you and from the way he talks about you, you’d think you’re an angel,” Simon blushes again but stays quiet. “And I honestly am so happy he found someone who sees him for who he is, he’s needed that for a long long time. Just…” Felice pauses for a moment to figure out her words and Simon lets her. “Wille is one of the best people I have ever met. If he finds you worthy, he will do just about anything for you to keep you happy. He’ll tear himself apart to keep the people around him safe and comfortable. He doesn’t often care what happens to himself as long as his friends and Erik are okay and I know he’s started to include you in that equation. I just need you to understand… He needs someone who will watch out for him as well. He’s one of the strongest people I know but he’ll let himself break if he thinks it’s what’s right for those around him. I’m trusting his heart with you. Please don’t let me regret that decision. I don’t know if he could come back from you,” Simon is basically in tears by the time Felice has finished and he can tell she’s pretty close as well.
“I understand. I won’t do anything to hurt him. I care about him too much for that,” Simon promises. “Wille is one of the best people I’ve ever met and I would never forgive myself if I played a part in his heartbreak.”
Felice seems to think this a worthy enough response because she nods and then quickly turns to smile at him before she turns back to look out the windshield.
“Well, I hope you know what you plan to say to him because we’re here” Felice pulls up outside a modest apartment with stone steps up to a red door. Simon feels his stomach flutter with nerves but he knows this is what he has to do.
“Don’t worry about waiting. If this goes well, Wille can give me a ride,” Simon can’t help but think his confidence in this going well is a little too high but he doesn’t want to think any other way.
A cheeky smile flashes over Felice’s face.
“I’m sure he can,” She ends the statement in a wink and Simon’s mouth drops open before he flushes all the way down to his toes at her meaning.
“Felice!” He can’t help but let out a laugh even through the shock.
“Sorry sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Felice is also giggling. They calm down pretty quickly though. Simon takes a deep breath before reaching for the door handle.
“Wish me luck,” He turns to see Felice’s friendly expression one more time before he ventures to the door.
“Good luck, Simon,” She responds. Simon nods once more before opening the door and climbing out, then shutting the door behind him.
He takes a deep breath before walking up the steps to the door. He sends one more glance behind him and vaguely sees Felice flash him a thumbs up before she drives away. There’s no turning back now. He turns back to the door and rings the bell.
He waits but nothing seems to be happening and the anxiety starts to rise in him again. What if he went to sleep and I’m stuck here? What if he didn’t come home and is actually somewhere in the city? What if he knows it’s me and is ignoring me?
He’s bringing his hand to the doorbell to ring it again when the door swings open. The sight on the opposite side both breaks his heart and makes him lose his breath.
Wille stands on the other side, clearly having been crying and yet Simon has never seen him more beautiful. From Wille’s expression he clearly did not expect Simon to be on the other side of the door.
“Sim… Simon? What are you…” Before Wille can get the rest of his words out and before Simon loses his nerve, he pushes Wille back through the door with a hand on his chest, closes the door behind him then brings both his hands up to the side of his face.
“Just shut up” Simon breathes before he pulls Wille’s face down to his and connects their lips, pouring all the passion in his body into the kiss.
He feels Wille’s inhale of breath before Wille’s hands wrap around his waist bringing him as close as possible and kissing him back. Simon is pretty sure time stops for a moment because there is no way this is actually happening. As much as Simon has dreamed of this moment happening, there’s no way it could have ever prepared him for how it actually feels to be kissing Wille and have Wille reciprocate. It feels like he’s come home and he never wants to leave again.
Simon feels his back pressed up against the door. He’s pretty sure the door handle is digging into his back but he can barely feel it through the emotions running through his body right now. He can’t help but bring his hands from Wille’s face and push them through his hair like he’s been longing for since he practically met him. It’s everything he could have wanted.
Because Simon and Wille are humans and actually need air to survive, they eventually have to break apart, albeit reluctantly. They don’t go too far though. Simon rests his forehead against Wille’s while he catches his breath and Wille seems unwilling and unlikely to let him go, his fingers have Simon’s shirt scrunched up in his fists at the small of his back. Wille’s face slowly breaks out in the most breath-taking smile that Simon is pretty sure he’ll never breathe normally again. He can’t help but match it.
“If that’s what happens when you tell me to shut up, I’ll never stop talking,” Wille jokes, his voice still slightly breathless.
“You won’t catch me complaining,” Simon responds, chuckling lightly. Now that feelings other than passion and joy are slowly creeping back in, he can now feel where the door handle is digging into his back. “But maybe we can move away from the door before I have a door handle shaped hole in my back,”
Wille seems to notice the uncomfortable position he’s in and pulls away slightly.
“Oh sorry, of course,” Simon shakes his head at the silly boy’s apology. Wille instead drags one of his hands from Simon’s shoulders down his arm to his hand, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps, even through the sleeves. “Come with me,” he then leads Simon by the hand deeper into the apartment and over to the couch. Once they’ve sat down they both move so they’re facing each other, one leg bent on the couch and the other placed on the ground. Their hands have yet to come apart. Simon looks up at Wille, who hasn’t seemed to be able to look away from him once since he arrived, and he feels some nerves return. Even though that kiss should’ve said it all, he knows they actually have to talk now. He’s pretty sure Wille’s feelings for him aren’t casual, but he remembers what he said about not having felt a deep connection before despite having been in a few relationships and he doesn’t want that to be the case with them too.
He doesn’t know if he can start this conversation while looking Wille in his beautiful, expressive, melt-worthy eyes so he looks down at their hands instead, the proof of their connection.
“I’m sorry that I let you get away the first time, I was just… I was just so surprised because I wasn’t expecting it and I had wanted it for so long so for a moment I didn’t even think it was real and…” He goes to continue rambling but he feels a hand underneath his chin pushing it gently upwards. Faced with those eyes again he loses his train of thought and whatever he was going to say next. Wille has such a soft, affectionate smile on his face that Simon feels like he could cry. He can’t believe that Wille is looking at him like that. Once their eyes connect, Wille shakes his head softly.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have sprang that on you and I should’ve waited you out instead of running away,” this time it’s Wille’s turn to look away shyly. “I’m just not used to… people feeling the same way about me as I do about them, and I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I had somehow messed us up. You’re one of the most important people in my life and I… I just didn’t want to lose you if I had done something stupid without thinking,”
Now it’s Simon’s turn to shoot Wille an affectionate smile.
“Well besides the fact that clearly you didn’t mess anything up,” Simon smiles cheekily this time, which causes Wille to blush cutely Simon can’t help but melt all over again. He puts on a serious face to finish his sentence “I hope you know that… even if I hadn’t felt the same way, I never would’ve made you feel bad about how you felt. I wouldn’t have let it ruin us,”
“I know you wouldn’t have. You’re too much of an angel for that,” Now it’s Simon’s turn to blush. No one’s ever called him an angel before. “I just don’t think I would have been able to hide my affections for you after, not that I did very well before I kissed you, but it would’ve just been that much harder to work around,” Wille admits.
“Well clearly you did a good enough job hiding your affections because I hadn’t caught on,” Simon says. Wille gives him a look of disbelief at this.
“Really? Not once?” Wille doesn’t seem to believe Simon.
“I mean… okay maybe there were a few times that I thought maybe, but I was worried I was reading into things too much and I didn’t want to mess up what we had. You mean too much to me for that,” Simon admits. Wille’s expression is so fond at this that Simon almost looks away again but before he can Wille opens his mouth again.
“God, I like you so much,” Then seemingly without being able to help it, he brings a hand to the side of his face and kisses him. Immediately Simon is flooded with the same emotions as before. He pulls his hand away from Wille’s and brings it back to his hair again. He’s already a little obsessed, what can he say. He feels himself melt into Wille when the hand that Simon dropped lands on his waist, just at the place between where his top meets his pants. He feels Wille’s thumb brush against the skin there and inhales sharply at the feeling. He’s about to lose himself in Wille even more when he realizes they haven’t finished with all the things Simon wants to talk about. So even though he kind of hates himself for it he pulls away, a small smile flitting across his face when he notices Wille chase his lips as he does.
Wille’s face is so warm and affectionate, his hair starting to stick up from Simon’s hands, that Simon almost scratches talking but he knows he’ll regret it if they don’t get everything out on the table right now. Luckily Wille seems to understand this as well because he sits back again, re-taking Simon’s hand in his, lightly brushing his thumb against the back of it as he does.
“I like you too Wille,” Wille’s face lights up at the verbal confirmation. “But I just want you to know, I can’t do casual with you. I know you mentioned that sometimes you keep things low key at first to gauge how the relationship is going to go and I completely understand that, I don’t need to be shown off like some prized pony, but I can’t be hidden,” Simon is proud of himself for keeping eye contact as he says all of this, and he hates that he can see how his words are affecting Wille but he needs Wille to understand where he stands. “So if you don’t think you can be with me all the way, I don’t think we should continue like this. And I don’t mean coming out to the world, that’s your business, on your timeline, but I can’t be someone that you hide,”
Once Simon is done her watches as Wille gauges everything that Simon has said. Simon braces himself as Wille opens his mouth.
“I could never hide you Simon. I would scream it from the rooftops if you wanted to be with me. And I understand that I come with some extra baggage and there are some things to navigate, namely my mother and august, but none of that would ever stop me from wanting to be with you,” Simon feels himself light up from the inside out at the words, his eyes filling with tears of happiness and relief “Simon, I’ve wanted you since the moment I first saw you, since i first heard you sing, since you basically insulted me and my family when we first met, and that hasn’t changed a second since I’ve gotten to know you, in fact it’s only gotten stronger. We can go at your pace, but whatever you want to give me, I’ll be happy with,” Wille’s final words give Simon a bit of pause in all of the happiness. He’s reminded of Felice’s words, about how Wille is willing to tear himself apart if it means those around him are happy. It’s almost like Wille is telling Simon that he’ll take whatever Simon is giving, like even if Simon just wanted the one night Wille would be ok with it if that meant Simon was happy. This won’t do.
“Wille, I want all of you. Everything you want to give me. I want to hold your hand and hug you whenever I want. I want to be able to kiss every part of you and see how you look when you wake up in the mornings. I want to meet Erik and I want you to meet my mama. and I want to see you at future game nights with Ayub, Rosh, and Sara. I want to watch you become best friends with Neil and go to karaoke with you, Felice, and Maddie. I want to learn everything there is to know about you. I want you exactly as you are and however you continue to grow. I just… Wille I just want you,” Simon can feel the tears on his cheeks now and he can see the ones on Wille’s. The expression on Wille’s face is so filled with awe and happiness that it almost makes Simon cry all over again. It’s as if he’s never heard someone say they want him and Simon realizes he probably hasn’t.
“I want all that too. I want all that with you and only you,” Simon is already pulling Wille in before he even finishes the sentence. This time when they kiss he can taste the salt from both their tears but it does nothing to deter him. In fact, it almost enhances the feeling because the tears are proof of their feelings for each other.
Before he can even tell what’s happening, Wille’s hands are under his legs lifting him up and around his waist. Simon gasps but doesn’t let it stop him, connecting their lips again. He feels Wille’s words against his lips.
“Come to bed with me Simon” Simon is nodding before he even gets the words out.
“Yes,” He reconnects their lips and somehow Wille walks them through his apartment to his room. Simon feels his back hit the bed disconnecting them for a moment but before he even has time to think Wille is already covering him with his own body again. A thought seems to hit Wille before he reconnects their lips though. Simon reaches for him but Wille pulls away and asks
"How did you get here? You didn't take the bus and I doubt that you ran." Simon lets out an exasperated breath.
"That's what you're thinking about right now?" Simon can't help but let out a laugh as well, Wille laughs too.
"Sorry it just came to me," He admits.
"Let's just say, you're right about Felice being the best," is all Simon responds before he pulls Wille's lips back to his own. That seems to satisfy Wille because he doesn't pull away again.They lose themselves in each other and the last thought before Simon is completely overwhelmed with emotions is that he’d be okay if he never left Wille’s arms again.
Fin