Chapter Text
That wasn't funny but she laughed so hard, she almost cried
They're counting months they've been together, almost forty-nine
He's making fun of how she acted 'round the holidays
She wears a ring but they tell people that they're not engaged
Alya burst out laughing, holding onto Nino’s arm as she doubled over. “Nino, you have no right to be this funny.”
Adrien didn’t particularly think the joke was funny, but Alya was laughing so hard tears were threatening to spring from her eyes. Was that what happened when you were in love? That person’s jokes instantly became ten times better? If that was true, then if Marinette would ever love him back, would she finally find his puns funny?
He glanced over at her from where he was sitting beside her at the booth, and she was also laughing.
Okay, so maybe his sense of humor was what was skewed, then.
“Look, Alya, I can’t really take all the credit,” Nino said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and rubbing his hand up and down her upper arm. “It was you who got drunk on red wine during Christmas dinner.”
“Yeah, I guess not. My sisters are never going to let me live that down.” Alya snickered, leaning forward to grab a waffle fry from the bowl.
“Oh my gosh , Alya!” Marinette squealed, causing Alya to nearly drop the fry out of surprise. “Where did that ring come from? Are you two engaged ?”
That snapped Adrien’s attention back to the conversation. Nino and Alya were engaged, and neither he nor Marinette knew? Come on, Adrien figured he was good enough friends with Nino to be one of the first people to know when something life-changing like this happened!
Alya looked back at her ring, smiling. “Nah, we’re not engaged. This is just a promise ring Nino gave to me a couple of months ago, but it wasn’t the right size, so we had to send it back to the jewelers. We kept on forgetting and procrastinating it, though, so it just came back, like, a week ago.”
“It’s gorgeous.” Marinette pulled Alya’s hand closer, examining the ring. “If this is what the promise ring looks like, your engagement ring is going to be gorgeous, Als!”
They met in class for metaphysical philosophy
He tells his friends, "I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me"
They're having talks about their futures until 4:00 a.m.
And I'm happy for them
Adrien glanced at Nino as Alya and Marinette went on, talking about rings. He remembered what Alya and Nino’s relationship used to be like throughout the years. In high school, they’d sneak shy kisses and sweet touches between classes; in university, they’d purposely take classes they didn’t have any interest in—like metaphysical philosophy—just so they could stay together; and when they turned twenty, they moved into an apartment of their own. Adrien had seen Nino through plenty, but he’d never seen him as happy as he was with Alya.
“She’s much smarter than me,” Nino would say. “She’s much more resourceful, investigative, and perfect . I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
Adrien also knew that Nino and Alya had been spending a lot of time discussing what the future had in store—like marriage, children, and all the other ‘happily ever after’ junk. He was happy for Nino, he truly was, but he couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to live out this kind of life with the person he loved, his forever.
Marinette was sitting right beside him, but she had no clue that he’d think about her for hours, dreaming about their future together. She had no idea how he’d try to swat the thoughts out of his mind when they got too intense to make sure he wouldn’t break down into a pile of heartache and tears at three in the morning. She had no idea how crazily in love he was with her. And, if he was able to keep his miserable heart and rampant emotions in check, she’d never find out. She didn’t need his feelings weighing her down while she was obviously still in love with Kagami.
I'm only looking just to live through you vicariously
I've never really been in love, not seriously
I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence
Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense
Yet, sometimes, looking at Alya and Nino was his ticket to escape the harsh reality that his love would always be unrequited. It was like they were his virtual reality glasses, transporting him to a world where he could dream about his shared life with Marinette. Yet, once he would take the glasses off, he’d return to the sickening truth; that it was ultimately their life, not one that he could piggyback off of whenever he was feeling lonely and upset. It was like the movies—fiction, borrowed time.
Adrien gazed at Marinette, watching her dip her fries in her strawberry milkshake as she conversed with Alya and Nino, her voice chipper and full of energy. Adrien could barely follow what exactly she was saying because he was too focused on the vision of her —one he could stare at for hours on end without getting even the slightest bit bored. She’d grown up so beautifully since they first defeated Stoneheart together, but he was every bit just as in love. Her pigtails had grown out into soft-looking hair that fell her back—Adrien desperately wanted to run his hands through it—her eyes were just as breathtakingly blue, and her lips were perfect and pink, and Adrien desperately wanted to kiss her and see if she tasted just as sweet as he imagined.
She was dressed in a baby pink, flowy sundress decorated with white flowers, and Adrien didn’t know how she could contain so much beauty. Yet, here he was, captive to her once again, like a siren calling a ship at sea. He would gladly let her take him if given the chance because he loved her. He’d do anything to be with her.
Even if sometimes, people would tell him that his love wasn’t the real deal. “Teenage crushes don’t last,” they’d say, but at twenty-three years old, Adrien had officially been in love with her for nine years—ten in just a few months. People would tell him that his feelings were the byproduct of raging teenage hormones or the misconception of love due to being inexperienced in that field, but Adrien was certain his love for Marinette was true.
Maybe it was stupid, but if he wasn’t truly in love with her, why did he imagine them living in a moderately-sized house behind a white fence where they could raise their children and grow old together? Maybe they’d have two or three kids, maybe even four; the number didn’t matter as long as Marinette was the one helping him through the journey. He could picture them sitting on the front porch, old and gray and wrinkly, holding each other’s hands as they recounted their glory days as superheroes.
He wanted her to be every one of his firsts and lasts. He was twenty-three and a virgin who hadn’t even had his first kiss yet—no, the ones he couldn’t remember didn’t count—but that didn’t matter because he was waiting for the right person to share all that with, and he needed that person to be Marinette.
“Hey, Adrien, can you hear me?”
Adrien snapped back into his reality when he saw all three of his friends staring back at him, and Marinette snapping her fingers in front of his face to grab his attention. His eyes grew wide as he shifted his gaze between each of them, lost and confused. “What’s going on?”
“We’ve been trying to grab your attention for, like, a couple of minutes, dude,” Nino said. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Adrien took a sip of his iced tea, which had just become watered-down peach tea because the ice melted. “Just a little spacey, sorry.”
“Well, we were asking if you wanted to go to Kim’s party with us this weekend,” Alya added. “It’s going to be super fun.”
But I cut people out like tags on my clothing
I end up all alone but I still keep hoping
I won’t be scared to let someone know me
Life feels monotone but I still keep hoping
“Uh, I don’t know if I’m going. I haven’t talked to Kim in a bit.”
Come to think of it, he hadn’t talked to most of his friends since Shadow Moth was defeated. Juleka, Rose, Luka, Ivan…he was out of touch with all of them, pretty much. Socializing with people was the last thing his overwhelmed mind needed after his father was imprisoned, and he’d only kept his relations with Marinette, Alya, and Nino because they’d helped him through the depression that had rendered him practically useless for the first few months following the defeat. Marinette also worked as his head designer, so they were crossing paths in the office constantly, helping each other run the company in his father and Nathalie’s absence.
“Surely he’d be happy to see you,” Marinette chimed in, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “We’d all be happy to see you there.”
Adrien rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I’ll think about it.”
To be honest, he didn’t want to go to some party which was funny considering when he was a teenager and his life was controlled by his father, all he wanted to do was go to parties and have fun with his friends. Now, he figured all he needed was the trust of a small group of people, and he had that with his Alya, Nino, and Marinette, his core four. He was happy he maintained a relationship with all of them.
“You really should, bro.” Nino smiled. “It’s going to be so fun.”
Adrien didn’t particularly know if Kim getting so drunk he could barely think straight was considered fun , but he’d take Nino’s word for it. “I’ll bet.”
I wanna feel all that love and emotion
Be that attached to the person I'm holding
Someday, I'll be falling without caution
But for now, I'm only people watching
They chatted a bit more before it was eventually time to leave. As they walked to their respective cars in the parking lot, Adrien watched as Nino and Alya exchanged a brief kiss before sitting in the front seats. Then, the car backed out of the space, leaving Adrien staring at the road where the car once was.
“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Marinette asked, and Adrien nearly jumped when he realized she was standing beside him.
Once he got his racing heartbeat under control, he answered, “Yeah, they are.”
“I can’t wait until I get to love someone like that.”
Adrien nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn’t wait either. He wanted the day to come when he’d get to scream to the world that he was in love with Marinette Dupain-Cheng, when he’d get to hug her and kiss her, and when he’d get to spend every moment with her.
But until then, he’d watch Alya and Nino, and he’d smile, knowing that his best friends were happy.
In the end, that was all he needed.