Chapter Text
Robin felt like her heart was going to explode out of her chest (in a good way) because Nancy Wheeler wasn’t real. Her and Nancy watched as Max skated away and as soon as she was out of sight, Robin turned to look at Nancy.
“Why did our conversation make you want to like immediately go out and learn how to skateboard because maybe it just inspired you or something and I know I’m not particularly good with social cues but,” she trailed off, “It kind of feels like that’s not the only reason.”
To her amazement, Nancy’s face colored and she said, “I thought you’d like it and that it would cheer you up.”
“You,” she paused and pointed at Nancy, “learned to skateboard for me,” and pointed to herself in disbelief, “and not in like a ‘our conversation inspired you’ kind of way but in like a ‘for you’ kind of way?”
Nancy rubbed her arm and looked down at her feet and Robin didn’t think she’d ever seen the other girl so shy, “It sounds kind of dumb I know.”
Robin clumsily pulled Nancy into a hug, “Nance, you’re kind of incredible you know that?”
“That’s the first time you’ve initiated a hug with me,” said Nancy and her voice was muffled against Robin’s shoulder.
“That can’t be true…” Robin trailed off and thought about it for a second because yeah she’d never initiated a hug with Nancy or Steve or the children. She’d never noticed.
Robin pulled away and smiled at Nancy, “I’ve never been big with hugs but,” Robin wanted to say it was because she was pretty or sweet or that it was because Robin really liked her but she just said, “but you’re cool.”
“I’m cool?” Nancy asked with a little squint of her eyes.
“Shut up Wheeler, I can’t think of many adjectives off the top of my head,” she said, giving Nancy a tiny shove.
Nancy shoved her back and Robin couldn’t get over how lucky she was because who else would go out of their way to learn a new skill just because Robin would find it amusing/cool/nice. She didn’t think her crush on Nancy could grow anymore. Nancy was like the warmest blanket on the coldest day and Robin just wanted to be under that blanket forever, be by Nancy forever. Feeling this strongly for someone was so new to her and she kind of wanted to grab Nancy’s face and kiss her but Nancy was almost definitely straight and more importantly, Robin had never kissed anyone and she wouldn’t want to make a fool of herself with Nancy.
“Let’s see if those cookies are done,” Nancy said and she linked her arm with Robin’s and led them inside the Wheeler’s house.
Mrs. Wheeler gave them a smile, “Just in time for the cookies, give me like ten minutes and they’ll be out of the oven.”
Robin told her how excited she was to try them and Nancy dragged her to her room and Robin laid down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling.
“I have a bed you know,” Nancy said, coming into frame above Robin, “and a chair.”
Robin ran her hands over the soft carpet, “But your carpeted floor is super comfortable.”
Nancy laughed and laid down beside her. Robin turned her head to look at her at the same time as Nancy did and wow they were close. Nancy’s head quickly snapped to the ceiling as soon as they made eye contact, “You’re right, the floor’s not bad.”
“Told ya Wheeler.”
They laid there in silence for a little longer and it was comfortable. It was comfortable enough that Robin didn’t need to fill the silence with her rambling for once. She eventually broke the silence, not because she wanted to fill it with her voice but because she wanted to talk to Nancy.
“Hey Nance?” she asked. Nancy hummed in acknowledgement and turned to face Robin. Robin sat up because this felt like a sitting conversation “I need to tell you something, well I guess it’s more of a want but it feels really necessary so I guess that makes it a need but saying ‘need’ makes it sound all serious and yeah it is serious but I don’t like it when things get too serious you know.”
“Robin please breathe,” Nancy said and pushed herself off the ground so she was sitting directly in front of Robin.
“Right,” she took a deep breath, “yeah, breathing is good.” She drummed her fingers over her knees, “You know when you’re a kid and you get a really bad grade on a test?”
Nancy looked confused but she nodded.
“I would tell my English teacher about how it sucked that I got a bad grade and he’d just give me words of encouragement on how I’d do better next time and it was okay to mess up sometimes. I always expected him to be positive about it so if he for some reason got upset or acted disappointed in me, I’d be crushed,” she paused, “like really crushed because I expect him to be positive when things aren’t great.”
She took a deep breath and tried to slow down her words, “If I told my mom, I’d expect disappointment and sometimes even anger so it sucked when I’d get that kind of reaction but it was always expected so it was okay in the end, does that make sense?”
Nancy nodded, “That makes sense, but…” she trailed off clearly still confused.
“I have this,” she paused trying to find the right word, “I have this secret and I told Steve way back when the Russians kidnapped us,” she let out a little laugh, “to be honest I only told him because I was still a bit drugged up but I expected his reaction to be somewhere between my English teacher and my mom you know?” She moved her hands from her knees to the floor and picked at the carpet, “His reaction was so much better than I could have even hoped for.”
“I really like and respect you Nancy. It’s hard to tell with this stuff but I feel like you’d be cool but if you’re not,” she looked down at her lap, “I think it might destroy me, and I know that’s dramatic but,” she shrugged, “I don’t know.”
Nancy reached out and gently took both of Robin’s hands in her own, “Robin, remember how I told you that I’d help you hide the bodies even if you were a serial killer?”
Robin let out a small laugh, “Yeah, how could I forget but just give me a second, I want to say this properly.” Nancy just gave her hands a small squeeze.
“I,” she knew this was going to be hard, but it was harder than she imagined, “I'm into women in a romantic way like in a you dating Steve or Jonathan kind of way but not really because they’re male and I’m exclusively attracted to females.” She said all that really fast and she hoped Nancy understood her because she didn’t think she’d have the guts to say it again. She closed her eyes and tried to pull her hands away from Nancy’s because this was so terrifying. Nancy’s grip on her tightened and she opened her eyes and Nancy looked upset.
This was it, Nancy was going to tell her they couldn’t be friends anymore and she’d kick her out of her house and she wouldn’t even get a chance to try Mrs. Wheeler’s cookies and she’d be alone forever. “Robin,” she took a shaky breath, “that’s not even close to the level of being a serial killer.”
Wait, what was Nancy getting at?
“I told you I’d stick by you if you were a serial killer so you being romantically attracted to women is so okay with me Robin. Sure this is new for me but,” Nancy shrugged, “but you’re Robin and nothing’s going to change that okay?”
“But why do you look so upset,” and Robin couldn’t get it out of her head that Nancy was being nice because she was right in front of Robin so she had to be polite to her face and at any minute she’d have to deal with the crushing feeling of losing a friend.
“Because you look terrified Robin, you look more scared than the time we were being chased by guards at Pennhurst or when those vines grabbed you when we were in the upside down,” Nancy took a slow breath in and exhaled just as slowly, “you’re my friend Robin and I like having you around okay? I don’t want you to ever feel scared around me, because of me.”
Robin figured that this was the moment she was supposed to cry and collapse into Nancy as sobs overtook her body in relief but she felt like she was floating. She pinched herself and pinched Nancy’s hand. Nancy made a little sound of confusion but didn’t pull away from Robin. “This is real right, not like a super elaborate dream my brain made up because my dreams tend to be really wacky. They’re normally giant ice cream cones chasing me around kind of wacky not dreams where my best friend is okay with me being a lesbian kind of wacky.”
Nancy just stared at her and smiled softly, “I’m your best friend?”
“I mean, duh.”
They both giggled thinking back at another conversation from not too long ago.
“I can’t believe that’s the only thing you got out of my rambling,” Robin laughed, the weight of coming out to another person finally floating off her shoulders. Steve was easier to come out to because her brain was muddled with whatever the Russians had injected into them. Nancy was different because it was Nancy (and there were zero drugs clouding her judgment, just emotion).
Nancy smiled, and it was a shy kind of smile and Robin felt her heart beat in a way that it only did around Nancy, “Yeah, well, being your best friend is pretty important.” They just stared at each other and Robin didn’t think she’d ever get over Nancy’s eyes because they were so big and expressive. Robin couldn’t always read what was behind those eyes, but it was always comforting. Before she could react to Nancy moving closer to her she heard Mrs. Wheeler yells about the cookies being ready.
Her voice was enough for Robin to be knocked out of the Nancy Wheeler bubble and she noticed the smell of fresh baked cookies wafting through Nancy’s room. It was both comforting and terrifying how Nancy made her forget about everything else around her.
Nancy got up and gave Robin her hand to help her up. Robin kept her hand in Nancy’s. She didn’t know if she liked Nancy’s eyes or hands better. They were both so warm and Robin wanted to live in that warmth forever.
Before Robin could walk down the stairs Nancy stopped her with a little tug at her arm. “In case it wasn’t clear, you’re my best friend Robin and that isn’t going to change because of who you’re romantically attracted to.”
Robin loved the way that Nancy directly stated things. It left no room for misinterpretation and for her brain to spin a hundred different directions trying to make sure she was understanding her right. Nancy’s words and that thought flooded her with so much emotion and affection. She felt tears pool in her eyes before she could stop them and she let out a watery chuckle when Nancy, sounding panicked, quickly said, “I didn’t mean to make you upset, are you okay?”
She nodded, “I’m just overwhelmed about how amazing you are,” and she pulled Nancy into a hug because it felt right and she remembered how Nancy seemed so pleasantly surprised when she had hugged her earlier. She pressed her face into Nancy’s shoulder and just stood there with her arms wrapped around her to take everything in (and having her arms around Nancy and having Nancy’s arms around her might be the world’s best feeling). She felt all the emotions rise up again because since when did good things that felt like a dream happen to her.
She forced herself away from Nancy because if she was this close to her for any longer then she’d probably never let go. They went down the stairs and stood around in the Wheeler’s kitchen, eating cookies and Robin noticed Mrs. Wheeler staring at her more than what was probably normal. She felt a little prickle of fear because did she know? That was impossible. So she pushed the thought out of her head and listened to Mrs. Wheeler talk about how she got her cookies to be so insanely delicious.
She caught Nancy’s mom looking at her again and yeah she was definitely looking at her a whole lot. She eventually figured she should say her goodbyes, she didn’t want to bother Nancy’s family any more than she already had. There was that phrase that went something like “taking a mile when you’re given an inch or something” and Robin didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to take more than was okay because that might ruin things. It would kind of suck to not be able to come back to Nancy’s home because she really liked her home and Nancy. She told the two she’d see them later and was met with an echo of “Please stay for dinner.” She declined as politely as she could and Nancy and her mom looked like they wanted to try to convince her more.
Robin didn’t know Mrs. Wheeler super well but she was struck by how similar she was to her daughter, well, how similar her daughter was to her. Nancy excused herself to use the bathroom and Robin was left alone in the kitchen with her mom. Robin never knew how to act around parents, especially when it was just her alone with them. To fill in the silence she took another cookie because they were delicious and so she could have something to do with her hands.
“It’s really nice having you around the house Robin,” Mrs. Wheeler said, wiping down the counters covered in flour, sugar, and the occasional chocolate chip. Robin smiled but didn’t say anything, because what was she supposed to say?
Mrs. Wheeler didn’t seem to mind her silence because she continued, “As a mother I always worry for my kids,” she let out a little chuckle, “Realizing that my kids are always at least a little involved in the recent chaos in Hawkins has me extra worried.” She walked over the sink to wash her hands, “I’ve been worrying about Nancy a lot lately, especially after Barb. Barb’s always really been her only friend and,” she sighed, “Nancy’s too stubborn to admit any weakness, whether it be that she’s hungry, sprained an ankle or that she’s lonely.”
Mrs. Wheeler’s eyes snapped to her looking like she noticed for the first time that Robin was really there. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling,” she leaned against the counter top, “What I’m trying to say is that I’m so incredibly happy that you’re in Nancy’s life. This is the happiest and liveliest I’ve seen her in so long. I know she has her passions with the newspaper but sometimes it feels like she isn’t really living and I can’t help but feel…” she trailed off and shook her head and gave Robin a smile, “I’m just happy you’re here so please don’t hesitate to stop by whenever. Come by to hang out with Nancy or stop by for food even if Nancy isn’t here because there’s always plenty to go around.”
Was this how parents were supposed to be, moms supposed to be? Or was Nancy’s mom just different from the rest. She felt herself get emotional again and this was ridiculous. Robin had been perfectly fine spending the past many years not being emotional in front of others so why was she starting now (okay it was obvious that suppressing her emotions all the time was a recipe for them to spill over eventually but it was still an odd feeling).
She was saved from having to react to any of her feelings when Nancy walked into the kitchen. It took her a second for her eyes to focus on her and she said bye to Mrs. Wheeler, who hugged her super tightly and yeah sure Robin was confused but she appreciated how kind she was.
“Did my mom embarrass you?” Nancy asked, as they exited through the front door and closed the door behind them.
“No,” Robin said, “she was actually being super sweet.” Robin could tell that Nancy wanted to ask more but she appreciated the way she held off, there was too much happening and Robin needed a mental break from all the feelings.
“Can I drive you home?”
“I have my bike,” Robin said, nodding towards it.
“Leave it here? I’ll drive you.”
“I need it to get to school tomorrow.”
“I’ll take you.”
They stared at each other for a second, “You’re so persistent Nance.”
She smiled, “And you’re acting like you don’t want to spend time with me.”
“How do you know it’s acting?” Robin asked (jokingly of course).
She laughed at the way Nancy pretended to be offended but then Nancy turned a little serious and said, “I like having you around and so does my mom, so don’t ever feel like you’re too much or something for us, for me.”
Robin gave Nancy a small smile because she was starting to learn that it was true.
Nancy moved Robin’s bike into the garage and they both piled into her car and set off for Robin’s house.
“How did you know you weren’t interested in guys,” Nancy asked and quickly added, “You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable but I was just curious.”
Nobody had ever asked her that before (well duh, Steve was the only other person that knew).
“I guess I just realized I’d never had a crush on a boy in school, I thought they all just weren’t my type. Then I saw a really pretty girl and I don’t know, it just clicked.”
“So you didn’t always know?”
Robin laughed at that, “I didn’t know what ‘gay’ meant until I was like 13 so I definitely didn’t always know.”
Nancy looked thoughtful and drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.
“Do you want to stay over for dinner? I’m not the best cook but if you’re alright with breakfast for dinner, I can make pancakes and my mom’s not home.”
Robin didn’t know what made her offer that because of course she liked spending time with Nancy, but this was about that time that she’d normally have had more than enough social interaction and would be more than okay being a hermit for the rest of the night.
So Robin made them pancakes, making sure to throw in a few blueberries for Nancy and tried not to think too much about how quiet Nancy was. Maybe she was tired or she was realizing she wasn’t okay with Robin being gay. Okay, her brain really needed to stop jumping to the worst scenarios.
Robin was washing dishes in the sink when Nancy walked over to her and leaned on the counter right behind Robin. She turned the sink off and turned around so she was facing Nancy.
“What’s up Nance?” She asked, because Nancy was kind of freaking her out with how quiet she’d been through dinner.
“Can people like boys and girls?” Nancy asked, and her face was scrunched up and she looked extremely confused..
Of all the things Robin was expecting Nancy to say, it wasn’t that.
“Yeah of course, some people like boys more than girls or girls more than boys and some don’t like boys or girls,” she shrugged, “being attracted to people isn’t an all or none kind of thing.”
Nancy looked thoughtful at that, “How do you distinguish liking a girl as a friend or liking her as more?”
Was Nancy asking this because she realized Robin had a crush on her and was grossed out?
Maybe she was just curious.
“How do you know you like a guy as a friend or something more?” Robin asked back because yeah sure it was a little different when it came to liking girls as a girl but she figured those kinds of feelings had to be similar.
“I like you Robin.”
“Yeah, obviously, we’re best friends, remember?” Robin said, because duh.
Nancy let out a loud laugh at that, “No, no, I mean yeah, but I think I’ve had a crush on you since that day in the library.”
Robin was clearly hearing things, “Sorry, but I think I misheard you saying that,” she said in disbelief, “you have a crush on me?”
“You didn’t mishear me,” and Robin couldn’t take her eyes off of her because while Nancy was clearly nervous she was still so confident and just so Nancy.
“Okay um,” Robin had no idea what to say, “Right, so, are you like sure? Because I don’t know Nance, this really does feel like something straight out of a dream and I’m still not convinced this isn’t a dream or like an epic prank or something.”
Nancy just stared at her and stepped closer, “I should be offended that you’d think I’d prank you like this but ‘straight out of a dream’?”
Robin tried to step back, not because she wanted to back away from Nancy exactly but because she’d probably combust if Nancy came any closer to her. She tried to step back but she was already leaning back against the sink, so she had nowhere to go.
Okay so, this was actually happening. She wanted nothing more than to pull Nancy closer to her and grab her face and kiss her because apparently Nancy was into her? Like super directly flirting to the point that even Robin had no doubt that she was flirting? She needed more clarification before she could do anything though, because she really really didn’t want to mess this up.
“Not to sound super self absorbed or anything but why did you,” she paused, “why do you have a crush on me and how do you know it’s a crush?”
Nancy stepped even closer to her, close enough so that Robin could see all the little details on her face. “You’re a genius,” Robin opened her mouth to protest but Nancy just spoke over her, “You care so much, like an incredible amount,” Robin had to remind herself to breathe, “You’re adorable,” and that was sweet but Robin couldn’t help but frown a little at that because ‘adorable’? Nancy continued with a smile, “Don’t worry, I think you’re hot too,” and Nancy Wheeler would really truly be the death of her, “I love your voice, and your eyes, and your hands,” Nancy took her hands in hers, “I think that’s when I realized I had a genuine crush on you, because I always feel so many butterflies when I get to hold your hand.”
Screw breathing because how was she supposed to breathe when Nancy was looking at her like that and saying those words to her face. “I also realized at some point that making you happy had quickly made its way onto the top of the things I want in life,” Nancy squeezed her hands, “Sometimes it feels like it’s on the top of the things I need in life.”
Robin figured that would be the end of it because what more could Nancy say, “I love being around you so much, and I think that’s what stands out the most because I thought you were annoying when we were around each other for Vecna investigations,” Nancy stepped even closer so there was barely any space between them, “But now it feels like I never want to leave your side.”
“I didn’t know what all those feelings meant because they felt so much stronger than what I felt when it came to Steve and Jonathan but then you told me you were attracted to women and it all made so much sense,” Nancy trailed off and they both just stared at each other. Robin’s heart beat heavily in her chest and she wondered if Nancy could hear it.
“Are you going to kiss me?” Nancy asked, pulling her hands away and moving them to Robin’s waist.
Fuck.
Robin did what she’d wanted to do for so long and gently grabbed Nancy’s face and pulled her to her. Their lips met and it wasn’t fireworks like the books and stories described, but it was a warmth that grew to envelop her whole body. The grip on her waist tightened and Robin unconsciously moved her hands from Nancy’s face to tangle in her hair because she needed to grip something otherwise her legs would give out.
Nancy let out a little gasp when Robin’s hands reached her hair and Robin slipped her tongue in because she needed to get closer to Nancy. They quickly pulled apart so they could get some air and then their lips quickly met again and Nancy pushed herself closer to her. It felt like there wasn’t an inch of space between them and Robin still felt like she needed to get closer. Her back was digging into the sink behind her but she barely noticed because Nancy Wheeler’s lips were on hers and her hands were gripping Robin’s waist like she never wanted to let go.
She finally broke away because she was overwhelmed with how kissing Nancy felt even better than all her dreams and imagination. Nancy’s lips reluctantly left hers but she didn’t move away, instead she just rested her forehead on Robin’s and Robin wanted to kiss her again because her eyes were so blue and her pupils didn’t look like they’d return to their normal size any time soon.
“Holy shit,” she whispered. Nancy placed a quick kiss on her lips in response before pulling away.
Robin felt the words spill out before she could stop them, “Do you want to go on a date? Then after a proper date can we be official girlfriend and girlfriend? Are you okay with that though, like being my girlfriend even though we can’t really be official because duh. Steve can know though because he’s a dingus but the best dingus. Are you okay with not being able to like kiss me in public or telling your parents and I understand if you’re not. But I’m super okay because you’re the first person I’ve ever kissed so I’m okay kissing you in private every time and you’re kind of amazing in general but,” she groaned because she was jumping to conclusions, “Sorry, I’m acting like you would want to actually date me and make things official.”
Nancy grabbed her face and pulled her into another kiss before pulling away, “I want to go on a date, I want to be your official girlfriend and I’m okay with all the obstacles that will be in our way because I really really like you Robin Buckley.”
“Even if we’ll probably have to hide our relationship from most people we know?”
Nancy kissed the tip of her nose.
“Even though I'm super lame compared to you because I have zero goals and aspirations in my life?”
Nancy kissed her forehead, “You’re not lame and you’ll figure it out. You have time Robin.”
“Even though I talk too much?”
Nancy kissed her cheek, “That’s one of my favorite things about you.”
“Even though I come with emotional baggage?”
Nancy kissed her other cheek, “As long as you’re okay with my emotional baggage.”
Robin pulled Nancy into the tightest hug and whispered, “You being in my life is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You make me feel like I’m doing more than existing.”