Chapter Text
After everything he went through, Nico promised to himself to never let anyone close to him, because everything that happened to him is not tragic, but he has come to realize now that he himself is the tragedy. Everyone he let in, ended up either hurting him, getting hurt themselves, or somehow both at the same time. So when he started hanging out with Will, and found himself getting closer and closer to the other boy, Nico could not help but be hopeful. That is the effect that will have on other people. Not only does he need to be the perfect ray of sunshine, but instead he has to help those around him, because he is the sun, the heat produced by the sun isn't for its own use, the sun itself does not need the light it generates, so it shines, and give the warmth to those who are too cold, to those who are in the dark, helps everyone around him.
Nico admired this about Will, that no matter what happens he would always find the light, he would do anything in his power so that those around him would not have to suffer. Nico wasn't the same and although he had certainly gotten better with letting people in, he was still hesitant. Maybe that is why, when he found himself longing to be with Will, and started looking forward to being with him, just maybe that is why be did not push the other boy away, because he was everything Nico wasn't, and that gave him hope, it gave him hope that maybe, if he lets himself, he too can become the sun, and not the moon- which has to rely on the sun's light in order to shine. He was hopeful that maybe one day he could return to the bright and bubbly self he once was. But now Will was gone, the sun too runs out of flame, until in the end nothing is left but darkness. Not the kind of darkness that scares you away, but the one that lures you in, and so once again Nico found himself in the same pain, in the same darkness.
The thing about the dark is that it fears light, because the presence of it means that the darkness would no longer exist. It's a simple phenomenon: you fear the one thing that you could so easily change into, one small factor and that's it, life fears death, silence fears noise and darkness fears light. Nico had finally realized who he was; he wasn't the sun he was never meant to be the sun, no, nor was he the moon that still shined. He was the void and the darkness everyone feared and hoped that the sun would overtake.
But the sun was gone now and so Nico charged. Not thinking, not focusing on anything in particular, the bronze weapon swinging in his hands, and he watched as the monsters around him turned to dust and started fading away. In that moment, if asked, Nico would not be able to pinpoint what exactly was it that he was feeling, rage? Anger? Relief as he was able to take his revenge? No, not exactly, because in that moment Nico's mind had gone blank and all his humanity was gone. The screams all around him just felt like a faint whisper. The sound of the battle- metal clinging together, blood rushing, monsters disintegrating echoed in his ears, and as his sword plunged itself into a cyclope's abdomen Nico couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when he saw no blood rush out but instead the monster started to crumble.
Nico wanted more, he craved more. This was not enough, everyone knew that monsters never die anyway. Killing them would not leave him with the same sort of satisfaction that he craved. Nothing would.