Chapter Text
“Shoto! Oh my god, you fucking work of art.” Vox cheered as I clutched the round.
“That’s right, Baby! Lets go!” I was hyped. My nerves shook off as the round restarted.
I read my chat and they were hyping me too. I smiled at the view. My Shou, you are popping off today.
(Whisper)From: BokkusuAkuma: Nice! :)
Aww. I let out a soft giggle. Good thing my model was hiding his text in game. He definitely knows how to keep the chat going.
(Whisper)To: BokkusuAkuma: thankssss :D
”Chat, I’m feeling reaaaally good today.” I stretched my back buying phase was still going, making me let out a small yawn.
How long has the stream been already? Four.. 4 hours?! This going to be the last game then.
Vox giggled at his mic. “Oh sure you do, I did a great job at it.”
“Ahh, shut up.” I glared. The teasing never gets old.
(Whisper)To BokkusuAkuma: gotta dip after this. been streaming for 4 hours alr T^T.
(Whisper) From BokkusuAkuma: Time sure flies fast. 4 hours alr. It’s like we’ve only been playing for an hour. :(
“What’s with the..” Oh shit, I was thinking out loud. I had to think of an excuse… “vandal nowadays?”
I tried to laugh it off. What’s with that frowny now? Don’t tell me he’s mopping now. Surely 4 hours of playing would tire him.
“Hm? You’re pretty good at it.” He replied.
“You want to know what else I’m good at?” I scoffed.
“Shut up.” Andddd, the chat goes wild. It so funny seeing them squeal over some dumb sexual jokes we make. Fun times like these always makes me want to snap a picture and stay right then and there.
(Whisper) From BokkusuAkuma: Getting pretty good at flirting ;)
(Whisper) To BokkusuAkuma: learned from the best LOL
We played the rest of the game and I had really fun. I got to play chill while I watch Vox stress over some iron players. We had a small talk about today's stream before I called it a day. Viewers got fewer and fewer as I was saying goodbye. Vox was also ending his stream.
“Alright guys, bye bye! Mwuah!” I waited for a few minutes before hitting end stream.
“Finish?” I heard Vox unmuting.
“You scared me.” We both laughed.
He talked to me about his schedule for the week and how he wanted me to collab with him again.
“Nah dude, you should collab with someone else.” I declined politely. “2 collabs in a week is like giving them fan service.”
He laughed. “That makes sense but, I think you’d really like this game.”
My eyebrows raised. That’s really nice of him. I rested my head on my hand as I smiled at the thought that he enjoys hanging around with someone like me.
“And besides, I like your company.” He added. I smiled genuinely.
“You really do so?” I leaned back at my seat, swaying.
“Yeah, what’s there not to like?” He scoffed.
I laughed. He really is good at making me flustered. I hate him so much.
“Nothing less from a charmer like you.” I teased. His charisma must be at level 10 if he was at Sims 4.
“Oh really? You too?” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Shou, you know damn well you’re a great guy. I’m not being a people pleaser here.”
“Whatever you say, grandpa.”
“Jeez.” We both chuckled. After awhile, I sensed that he might be tired already because of time zones.
“You should go to bed now. It’s late ahead there.”
“About time but, I wouldn’t mind pulling an all nighter with you.” He said in a monotone. I pursued my lips, glaring at him like he would see it.
“Please, there’s no chat to clip what you’re saying now for more VoxTo content,” I teased. “Go to bed, idiot.”
“Fine. Goodnight buddy.” I could sense a little smile from him through his tone.
I gave him a kiss through mic. “Have a good sleep!”
As he went offline, I went through twitter. A lot of tweets were sent after our stream. It’s so fun to be a streamer sometimes. Just hanging around with people I love and receiving love from my second family at the same time.
@******
I miss FoxAkuma dude D:
8 retweets 3 quote tweets 57 likes
“God, am I really doing the right thing?” I took a sip from my water, trying to brush out the thought. That’s not your fault, Shoto.
I went outside to get some breakfast. I didn’t want to think about it. It just didn’t sit with me. My day went by pretty fast. I had fun with my discord servers and now hoped onto Bao’s stream for a bit. It was already 6PM. I guess Vox had woken up? Agh, why am I thinking about him?
1 Discord Message
Vox Akuma • 6:21 PM
> Hello. :D Thanks for yesterday. Had a blast!!!!
Aww. How sweet of him. A smile formed on my face reading his message. I bit my lower lip, thinking of a good respond.
Shoto • 6:21 PM
> I should be thanking youuuuu
> Good afternoon to you btw hehe :3
Vox Akuma • 6:22 PM
> I have no braincells atm to argue w you abt how I should rlly be the one who should be thankful >:(
Shoto • 6:22 PM
> So I win :p lol just get up and forget abt arguing with me
Vox Akuma • 6:22 PM
> Yeah you’re right. Still, thank you.
“Shoto!” I heard someone called me.
“Huh?” My head looked up the screen. My consciousness hit me when I saw my smile across the mirror. And yeah, I was still on Bao’s stream.
“Guys, Shoto isn’t paying attention to any of us. How about we kick him?” She asked her chat.
I chuckled in response. “Don’t get me started.”
“Yeaaaah, okay bye Shoto you will officially be muted!” She scoffed. Discord's deafen sound effect was heard at the other line.
|| Chat||
: LMAOOO
: he’s gonna demonetize you again
: SHOTO LMFOAOAL
: (casually starts moaning)
: did he actually rlly got muted lol
“Alright now that that’s handled. We continue with getting over this.” Bao really did mute me. She was just playing Getting Over It so it was chill. I looked down on my phone again to see that I haven't responded to him. I don't like being the one that'll left them seen or maybe I just want to be the one who'll end the conversation. That's all.
Shoto • 6:27 PM
> Sorryyyyy for late reply. I’m in Bao’s stream rn. You’re welcome >:)
Vox Akuma • 6:31 PM
> On twitch?
Shoto • 6:31 PM
> Yeah lol
God, was I smiling again? I covered my mouth just to feel my cheeks heating. My head fall to my shoulders by thinking how I might've gotten flustered by him.
“Oh my god, Shoto’s bf is here!” I heard her say. What the hell???
He’s really fast huh. Didn’t even mind hiding it.
|| Chat ||
: MILORDDDD
: omg shoto unmutee!!!
: #freeshoto for milord
: vox??? [pog]
: LOL HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE
“Unmute Shoto? Alright, we’ll let him off for his little honey boo.” She turned up my volume on stream and undeafened.
“About time.” I glared like it would actually show. “Hey Vox, I didn’t expect you here.”
|| Chat ||
: ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️
VoxAkuma: oh but I bet you did
: SCREAMING
: mom they’re at it again
: aren’t they so cuteeee??!?
I read his chat. Oh teasing now, aren’t we? I was hearing Bao giggling. Though, worrying she might be uncomfy since her chat was being flood by VoxTo. Or am I just scared the tweets will increase?
Shoto • 6:39 PM
> Hey Baoooo, sorry if the chat’s flooding :(
Bao • 6:39 PM
> dude are you kidding i’m inlove with you two
Shoto • 6:40 PM
> LOLLL I was just worried. Thanks though, glad to know I wasn’t ruining ur mood.
Bao • 6:40 PM
> dw dude if it did, it’s not ur fault! plus i would've actually kicked your ass.
I smiled. Looking back, she never let me be uncomfortable in her stream so I want to at least do the same with her.
"This game said it'll kill off your spirit," Bao mentioned as she casually fall off the hill.
I laughed when she screamed her sanity off. "Do you even have a spirit to begin with?"
"What I was saying!" She added. Her character kept on falling off the hill, making her scream for eternity. Though, it was funny as hell.
"You know, this game is based off sexy hiking." I mentioned to her as I played this game before
Her model dozed off. "What is so sexy about a man in a watery pot, hiking?"
"Maybe they like men?" I scoffed.
"Do you?" She added. Laughing it off, thinking chat didn't make a huge fuzz about it. Oh yeah, what did I even expect.
|| Chat ||
: do you shotooooo???!!!
: LMFWAAOOOO
: bi icon fr?????
: DOES HE NOWWWW LMAO
Yeah, good work Bao. Time for execution. "I like Vox, does that count?"
She and her chat went wild. Jeez, even her! I was going to laugh it off when I heard Bao thank her donation unmuted. "Bro! Vox! No way, thank you for the donation dude, you're so kind!"
My brows furrowed. Vox?! I quickly grabbed my phone to message him on discord when he already have early on.
Vox Akuma • 6:55 PM
> Finally got your attention, huh?
Shoto • 6:58 PM
> Shut uppp. You're too kind >:')
Vox Akuma • 6:59 PM
> Bao is a great streamer. She deserves it.
Shoto • 7:00 PM
> Your whole pocket money? Dude gave off $1,000.
Vox Akuma • 7:01 PM
> I would've given more for you.
I giggled softly so it wouldn't submit through my mic, rather it would sense it as a noise. I buried my head on my knees, feeling the softness of my cheeks heat up again.
We talked a lot on her stream about a bunch of stuff until she finished her stream. I said goodbye to her afterwards and told her I was going to get prepared for bed.
“Goodnight Shou!” She greeted.
“Night night, love you and thank you!” I left the call and went to lay down.
@******
did Vox donated for Bao or for Shoto lol they're everywhere it's kinda of tiring
2 quote tweets 14 likes
@*****
voxto there voxto here, foxakuma comeback when broooo im so tired
10 retweets 38 likes
I saw more tweets of people missing other ship interactions that included Vox after him appearing earlier. I knew it was coming yet I couldn't help but think that I was the one responsible for it and had to take action by avoiding Vox. It’s not your fault Shoto, move on.
Vox Akuma • 8:03 PM
> Great stream. :)
Shoto • 8:03 PM
> Did you actually finished it????
Vox Akuma • 8:04 PM
> Yeah lol. I told you, I like your company.
Shoto • 8:04 PM
> I wasn’t even with youuuu. >:(
Vox Akuma • 8:05 PM
> Doesn’t change a thing. Plus, it was a nice little podcast to listen to while I was doing work. :p
“Doesn’t change a thing my ass.” I took a pillow and buried my face in it. Damn, I’m feeling really good. But I couldn't help wanting to talk to him about the tweets though I feel like it’ll just bother him.
Shoto • 8:10 PM
> Trying to sleep here and making me flustered like that isn’t helping.
Vox Akuma • 8:11 PM
> You’re doing that to yourself. I’m just pointing out the obvious and you got flustered by your command. Hehe.
Shoto • 8:12 PM
> I will block you.
Vox Akuma • 8:12 PM
> On a serious note, go to sleep now :ytvoxheart:
Shoto • 8:13 PM
> I’m trying.
I stood up and snatch my AC remote. I turned the temperature up. The cold always put me to sleep, maybe that’ll help. Maybe I should stop going to twitter? I turned off my phone. Why is it getting to me so much. I was thinking so much that I didn't even notice I was falling off my bed.
1 Discord Message
Vox Akuma • 8:21 PM
> I know you’re seeing the tweets. Don’t bother it please.
Shoto • 8:24 PM
> I don’t think we should continue with the collab. It’ll just add them up. D:
Vox Akuma • 8:22 PM
> Well, if that’s what makes you happy.
I mean, it’ll make me lessen the thoughts at least but it wouldn’t make me any happier. That would mean that I wouldn’t play with him anymore for a while for the sake of each other’s fanbase. You wanted this.
Shoto • 8:23 PM
> Yeah. Let’s just call it off.
Vox Akuma • 8:27 PM
> I’ve changed my schedule for that day. Calling it a rest day.
Shoto • 8:27 PM
> You could’ve just picked someone else to collab with!
Vox Akuma • 8:28 PM
> Didn’t I tell you that I want to play this game with you? We’re playing it with or without stream, boy.
Re-reading the sentence, I felt my face grew warm. I hate him so much, he’s so nice. Why does he need to show this much kindness towards me? In the middle of the night too. I guess it’s just my emotions at night. Old sayings that you shouldn't make decisions at night. It's a bad habit cause you'll regret it in the morning or later.
Shoto • 8:30 PM
> Ahh, whatever you say.
Vox Akuma • 8:30 PM
> You better play with me. Now sleep.
Shoto • 8:32 PM
> Count me on that. Goodnight!
He said goodnight too. I found myself smiling. Stupid Vox, now I can’t sleep more. I wanted to talk to him more about some stuff but I felt like shouldn’t bother him. Trying to sleep, I watch as the ceiling be filled with echoing voices of his. The way he says my name. Him again, why do you have to linger around my thoughts so much.
——
A week has gone by. I've been trying to keep it lowkey and avoid interactions with him on Twitter to avoid those tweets. Hopefully he doesn’t suspect a thing. Now, him and I are in vc while trying to figure out how to multiplay in Stardew Valley.
“Aww look at these shirts. These look so old fashion,” I was designing my avatar while Vox was having a crisis already.
“I don’t know if you’re in awe or complaining.” He chuckled, even though he was struggling.
“Well, you’re canonly old and I’m always in awe of you.” I scoffed.
“Are you trying to give me moral support here?” I could sense his irritation through his voice which made me laugh.
“Is it helping?” I kept laughing as he was getting so pissed off.
“No! These tutorial are ass!” He gave up. I heard him bang his keyboard.
After what felt like hours, we finally joined each other’s. We tried going to the village.
“Oh look we can gift people weed.” I laughed.
“Dear goodness, we can be a dealer here.” And so, we we’re running around the village. Giving everyone our plants.
It was really fun. I really wished we we’re live so we can have more fun but I guess this was nice too. I was still having a blast playing with him.
“Do we just farm weed forever?” I complained.
“Depends if you wanna get a room,” he teased.
I glared. “Shut up.”
He kept laughing as he kept teasing me. Even without cameras, his humor is still present. That’s quite nice if you asked me.
“Look, Shoto there’s a fishing pond here.” He sprinted towards the lake.
“Ah, I’m really bad at fishing. In any game,” I excused. He still offered me to fish with him.
I can hear him struggling to fish too, making me laugh my ass off so hard. But in some time, he got used to it. We talked about more things about personal life that we we’re comfortable enough to share to keep the conversation going.
“How many fishes you got there buddy?”
“Enough. You?” He went up to me.
I checked my inventory. What the hell, I only have four?!
“Uhhh, enough too.” I chuckled. Wondering why, have I got into deep talks with him more to not even notice that I wasn’t paying attention to the game?
“Pft,” he burst out laughing. “Jeez, I can read you like a book.”
He is just cocky now! I was about to leave the valley when I heard him drop something. Fishes?
“Hey you drop your stupid fishes.” I went to pick it up and was about to give it to him.
“Well when I said it was enough, I only had like 8. Guessing you have more than me so I didn’t actually said the exact number of mine.” He cleared his throat.
What? Did he wanted to look cool and crack at fishing in front of me? Seriously, this guy.
“Why did you give me two of your fishes if you only had eight then?” I pursed my lips, waiting for a response.
“So we're tied.” He muted after. What the hell?!
“Vox?” I called. What was that sudden mute? Pft, did he get flustered?
He was coughing after coming back. “Sorry, I had to cough.”
Yeah right, excuses. He sounds so hilarious when he tries to hide the obvious. We played the game for another hour until we decided to call it a day. Man, I love hanging around with Vox. He’s a really nice guy. Not to mention, I can talk to him about anything without feeling the need to think about my image towards him after.
“Hey man, thanks a lot.” I mentioned how I felt about today.
I heard him sigh at the other line. “You don’t have to thank me always, being with you isn’t a job.”
I tried looking at my other monitor to see the chat going wild but I forgot we we’re off-stream. “Oh.. yeah,” I smiled.
He let out a small chuckle before saying goodnight. I stood up to refill my jug of water when my legs started shaking. Weird? Did I get anxious around him? I tried easing the agitation by pursuing my mouth aggressively.
I went back to my room to check my phone to see if he messaged. That’s weird, maybe he’s just resting?
Shoto • 10:09 PM
> Had fun today! :D
Ah, maybe I should stop. He might find me clingy or annoying once I start messaging him often.
Vox Akuma • 10:11 PM
> Same here. We should play more often.
Shoto • 10:11 PM
> You think so?
Vox Akuma • 10:12 PM
> If you’re down. Always happy to be accompanied by you. :)
There was pumping in my heart as I read his message. My chest feels lighter whenever I talk to him but then again, I feel the need to entertain or make a funny joke or else he'll lose interest in talking with me. Though, I love being told that I’m fun to have around… especially by him. I mean, he’s such a great guy. That’s all.
A week after that, he offered me to play with him again after the Luxiem collab stream.
Shoto • 7:30 PM
> Are you sure? You should rest for now. We can play on the weekends. :)
Vox Akuma • 7:31 PM
> I have to go somewhere on the weekends lol so I asked you today.
Shoto • 7:33 PM
> I wanna borrow your resistance now LMAO
Vox Akuma • 7:34 PM
> You do not want to. It's wacky asf, you're just an exemption.
This guy really knows how to get a squeal out of me. I buried my head on my pillow. He’s good at keeping an act off stream. I got bored when I didn't know what to reply so the conversation ended. Screams welcomed me as I opened their stream.
“Shoto’s here? Hi buddy.” Vox immediately greeted me as I sent a message in chat. The way his voice softens when he said my name made my heart pound.
|| Chat ||
Shoto: wow you’re good at noticing me huh
: hiiii shoto
: SHOTO’S HEREEE
: LOOOOLLLL
He didn’t have to greet me! Now the chat will flood him with my name. God, why do I feel such a bother now?
Shoto • 7:45 PM
> You didn’t have to greet meeee. Now your chats gonna flood you :(
Vox Akuma • 7:46 PM
> Let them lol. Besides, I wanted to say hi :’D
I heard him chuckle on his stream randomly as I sent him a bonk emoji. Surely he can be more sneaky than that.
“Mysta! You little bitch, come back here!” He chased Mysta off.
Him calling Mysta struck something inside me. It’s the tweets, it still bugs me. I’m not a burden anyways but why does it bothers me so much?
|| Chat ||
: look how cute they areee
: ❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️
: isn’t shoto here lol
: LNFAO MYSTA RUN
: foxakuma comeback era????
: CHASE HIS ASS
Atleast they’re getting what they want now. Nothing to worry about now. Right?
“Vox, stop stop stop okay! Here!” Mysta gave up. They were both laughing and so did the other members.
I turned off my phone and fell asleep. Maybe the thoughts went through my head. Maybe it relieved me to think that there will be no complaining now.
2 Missed calls
Vox Akuma • 9:10 PM
> Heyyy, are you still there? The stream is finished. :D
“Shit,” I mumbled. I forgot I was supposed to play with him after the stream.
Shoto • 11:01 PM
> So sorryyyyy. I feel asleep D:
Vox Akuma • 11:05 PM
> It’s okay. Hope you had a good sleep. :)
I don’t know why but I feel like he should’ve been disappointed at me. Even though I know he’s not that kind of guy. I went out of bed to see whose streaming. Surprisingly, a lot though I didn't have the energy to join anyone. Should I just go back to bed? Man, this is stressful. I'm craving for something I don't even know what. My cat lay down on my stomach when she saw me cover my face with a blanket.
"Must be nice huh, all you do is eat and meow." I sat up to pat her when she suddenly scratched me as I got closer to her face. Give me a break.
——
I found myself avoiding him for a couple of days. Collabs were being cancelled as I reasoned out that I was sick and I somehow jinxed it.
I’m just doing this because I want both of us to have a peace of mind. This should’ve gave me one. From time to time, I keep waiting for his message whenever I wake up. Must've gotten use to him inviting me to play with him..
1 Discord Message
Jumped out of bed to get my phone on my table as I heard that notification. Vox?
Shu Yamino • 6:28 PM
> Yooooo, we’re ranking up in Valorant. Wanna dip???? :D
Oh, It’s just Shu. I threw my phone away in disappointment. Stop it Shou, why’re you like this?
Shoto • 6:31 PM
> You streaming?
Shu Yamino • 6:32 PM
> Nah, we just need one player because competitive doesn’t allow 4 players T^T
I said yes and get on my pc. Hoping to see Vox, I impatiently spammed my Valorant app to load. “C’monnnn.”
I hovered Shu’s name to see who we were playing with.
ShuYamino
Mysta
BokkusuAkuma
FulgurOvid
My heart skipped a beat when Shu gave me an invite. I hesitantly accepted it. They were quiet as I pressed join party. I guess they’re on Nijisanji’s server.
“Yooooo, Shoto! Join discord!” Shu insisted.
I went on discord to see the group chat in call. At first, I didn’t wanted to join. I was afraid to face Vox for some reason. Maybe I felt bad that I was ignoring him. I mean, not that I was ignoring him rather just declining all his invites. He'll think that I don't like playing with him now that I accepted Shu's invite and not his.
“Yo sup guys?” I tried to sound cool. They all greeted me.
“Hey Shou, your fever going down?” He sounded so gentle and concerned. My heart felt soft. Now I feel really bad.
“Yeah.” My body was honestly still very hot and weak but I didn’t feel it like I normally do.
“Oh shoot, you have a fever?” Shu asked. “You can rest, we can ask Minase or Uki instead!”
“No no! I’m fine, I can get through it.” I tried reasoning it out. “Besides, I haven’t played in a while.”
We played really chill and there was no pressure. My body felt weaker and weaker caused by my monitor’s radiation.
“Mysta, I will actually kiss you if you clutch this round.” Vox betted when Mysta got into a situation.
“Watch me, motherfucker.” He replied, making Vox giggle.
With that, he won the 2v1. Stealing the dub from the enemy. Now we have overtime.
“Lets gooooo!” They all shout and so did I but quietly as my head would hurt more.
“Now where’s my kiss Akuma?” He scoffed.
Vox laughed it off at first but he went up to Mysta and started moving his character’s head, gesturing kisses.
“Please save me, I’m incredibly lonely.” Fulgur commented on them.
I straightened my back and tried to dig in. It’s a win or a draw now, we have to win this!
I took one off. “Nice shot!” Shu commended me.
Then, I got 3 kills. I was surprised myself! Oh my god I can’t believe we’re getting this dub!
“Popping off?!” Shu commended me again. He’s such a great friend. Now I’m getting hyped up!
One more to go and I’ll ace it.
“Shoto over here! He’s here!” Vox called out my name.
My heart doubled its pounding as I heard him say my name. Focus Shoto, focus!
“Woooo! Let’s goooooo!” They all cheered for me as I aced the last round. I almost forgot I had a fever.
“You guys up for another round?” Shu asked.
“Oh I got to go guys, I’m sorry.” Mysta said. We assured him that it was fine.
“I’ll go ahead too,” Vox added.
Suddenly, I felt worn out. Wanting to back out but I didn’t want them to all go off so I stayed for a while. We we're in queue but I was already dozing off. My head was spinning again and I felt my body heat up. I leaned back on my chair to ease it.
“Yo, Shoto you okay?” Shu asked. I was spacing out in the middle of the game.
“You should rest man,” Fulgur added.
The gleaming screen of my monitor was hurting my eyes. “No guys, this is rank. I don’t to quit.”
“It’s just a game don’t worry. Your health’s more important,” were the last words I heard before I black out. Shu? Fulgur? I don’t know…
(Shou..)
(Are you there?)
“Hello?” My vision was blurry as objects around me felt like falling over. My head felt heavier.
“Hey Shoto.” Someone greeted me who sounded like Vox.
“Vox?” I mumbled beneath my breathe. I heard a chuckle at the end of the line.
“Hey buddy. Well rested?” His soft voice brought comfort.
I checked my desktop that went to sleep mode. It was already midnight. I guess I fell asleep during the match. Oh no.
“Where’s Shu and Fulgur?” I muttered. Jeez, I sounded like a nervous wreck.
Silence passed by before he left out a small chuckle. “They were worried when they heard a loud tumble from your mic. They figured you fell asleep just as I was about to join the call again.”
“Join again? Why? I thought you were heading off.” I tried sitting on my chair but I just fell back.
“I was going to help Mysta setup his new monitor but he wanted to ask Shu since he’s more of a geek for those, you know.” We both laughed it off. Mysta... does that mean he went off to help him?
“So, Shu quitted the game?” I asked.
“Nope. We finished off the game.” He cleared his throat.
I was sat properly. “We?”
“I logged on to your account to finish the game off,” he replied. “They knew you’d feel bad if you just quit mid game.”
I groaned in disbelief. I feel so dumb. Maybe I should’ve just slept through the evening instead of forcing myself.
“I’m sorry.” I buried my face in my arms on the table.
I waited for him to say something at the end of the line. He was silent for a bit.
“Shoto, I wouldn’t be doing any of this for you just for an apology.” He laughed. “And besides, your little snores were music to my ears.”
I grabbed onto my hair as I felt my cheeks heat up. Snored?!
“Shut up.” That just made him laugh more.
He told me to just get off my PC and go straight to bed. I wanted to talk to him about something more but I just couldn’t win over this man.
Laying down on my bed as thoughts filled up my head. Yeah I can sure sleep with this. My temperature went up just by thinking about him. Man, what’s up with him lately?
@Shxtou
Maybe it's because I'm sleepy and can't think straight, but man I kinda missed Vox. Don't fucking tell him 🔪
4K retweets 770 quote tweets 55k likes
My consciousness laughed as I hit tweet. Ahh gosh, why did I tweet that?! I feel such an idiot for not even sending an apology to Shu and Fulgur.
Vox replied to your tweet:
~ For a rogue you really aren't sneaky at all. Missed you too ❤💜
A smile formed across my face as I read his tweet. Didn’t know why but I kind of expected him to message me after that but there was no notifs to be found. Whatever, plus I owe the two an apology.
Shoto • 1:28 AM
> Sorry I fell asleep earlier. I swear I’ll make it up to the both of you !!
Shu Yamino • 1:30 AM
> Yoooo, don’t worry about it dude. Just take care of yourself, that’s all we ask of you :D
Fulgur Ovid • 1:31 AM
> Vouch. Don't force yourself little man.
I smiled until I saw Vox online. Pursing my lips, I closed my discord app and went to sleep. You miss me too huh? At least make it believable.
“God, I am so helpless.” I muttered out of frustration.
——
It was Sunday. My fever went away, supposing it’s because of the heat. Vox has made a new series called ‘Under the Table.’ Being his best wingman, he offered to me to be his first guest.
“So it’s just getting drunk and let out all sober thoughts?” I heard him chuckle on the other line.
“You can put it that way,” he scoffed.
I bit my lower lip as a vague scenery came over my head. The sudden thought that I’ll say something unspoken made me anxious.
“Can we have like uh.. rehearsal?” Whatever went through my head to even say that.
He burst out laughing. “Oh lord, how will we do that? No need for that when you’re already like a drunk bard here.”
“Ah stop! I’m just nervous that I might say something out of the blue!” I leaned back on my chair.
“Hm? Are you hiding something from us?” He teased more. “We can delay it if you want.”
“Why not just find someone else?” I mumbled.
He groaned in frustration and let out a big sigh. “Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you’re an important person,” he muttered out, loud enough to be heard.
That pounding again…
“I’m sorry,” I laughed it off. “I’m just really nervous.”
“Well you can get drunk for the night and I’ll take care of you. Just to prove that you won’t say anything out of the ordinary.” He offered.
“That sounds so dumb,” chuckling but boy was I actually up for the offer.
We both laughed it off. He actually gave me a choice if I should do it or not. Doubting myself, I accepted it. After the call, I went downstairs to spend my day. As the night falls, I prayed to God that I wouldn't lose control over myself. Now I’m here sitting with 2 bottles of vodka. Getting wasted shouldn’t be this nervous wrecking.
"Hey little drunk bard." He greeted.
"I am not drunk yet." I glarred. I put my legs up the chair and rested my head on my knees.
“Cheers?” He said. I heard wine glasses bumping into each other.
“You’re drinking too?” That’s no surprise, I know he loves drinking.
“Not much, I just want to accompany you,” he chuckled.
Huh, whatever. I jugged a whole ass bottle right there and then. The heat of the vodka went rushing through my throat. Pain has never felt this relieving.
“Jeez, you’re really into it.” He laughed, telling me to go easy but I wasn’t stopping.
As I took the bottle off my mouth, my head started to form waves. I could feel myself getting the drunk already.
“I think I’m feeling it now, Vox.” I held my head to stay up.
“You’re still yourself, Shou.” He said.
“I’m always myself, what do you mean?” I heard his annoying soft laugh through my headphones. “What’s funny?”
“Yeah. I think it really is getting to you.” A discord join in was heard as soon as he spoke. It was playing some soft music or something I don’t understand. What the heck?!
Hearing him chuckle, I muttered, “The music is fire but what the heck?”
“That’s your favorite artist.” He mentioned. “Clearly, you are drunk as fuck.”
“Oh.” I laughed at myself like an idiot, and so did he.
Silence filled the room till he started humming. It felt peaceful even though my head was all over the room, spinning.
“You okay there?” His voice sounded so soft it makes me wanna cry on him.
“For sure.” Laughing it off, expecting him too so yet nothing to be heard. “Vox?”
I called him twice. “Oh sorry, what was that?” He sounded busy.
“Nothing.” I brushed off. Sensing that he knew I got sad, he offered to talk about it.
“I’m here to listen to you, Shou.” There he goes calling my name like it’s nothing to me.
“Thanks man.” I rested my head underneath my arms.
“Worn out?” He asked. “You should go to bed now.”
“Bed? I haven’t even gotten the questions yet!” I complained. I could sense him glaring at me sarcastically but then he went ahead and make up some question.
“Alright. What are your thoughts about vtubing?”
“It’s great! I can have fun around with my friends, with you,” I grinned in memories of fun times. “Everything’s great.”
He laughed so soft though quietly. “Mhm, how about Vox Akuma? Thoughts?”
“Huh? What kind of question is that?” I scoffed. I waited for him to change the question, thinking he was bluffing. “Well, he’s the nicest guy ever. He cares for me, calls me, always playing with me, and doesn’t even care if I..” I stopped between my words, biting my tongue to stop it from coming. If I start to feel something towards him.
“If you?” Waiting for me to respond.
“What?“ I raised my head to gaze upon my monitor, acting like I would see his face.
Hearing him giggle, he didn’t bother asking me further. “Thoughts about love?”
“Why’re you asking that now?” I groaned. He sighed briefly.
“It’s what went through my head.” He clicked his tongue and waited for an answer.
“Ahh,” I groaned more out of frustration. He loves seeing me suffer in this state, huh.
“Alright fine, I won’t question you about lovelife on stream.” He laughed.
I rested my head again, trying to stop myself for saying such words. “I really hate how clueless you can be,” I mumbled.
“What was that?” He asked.
“Nothing. Hm?” I scoffed. I was about to grab my almost finished vodka bottle when he called me.
“Stop drinking, you’ll bring your fever back.”
I gave him a scornful laugh. “You don’t have to care for me Voxxx, there’s no chat that’s here to clip what you’re saying.”
“I’m being serious drunkass, let’s call it a night.” He sounded serious as I heard him adjust to his chair.
“Yeah, yeah.” More laughter was filled by me as my intrusive thoughts drove me. “And I’m serious about you too, you know haha~”
I was expecting a voice to be heard at the other line but it was rather just silence. Ah jeez, focus please Shoto.
“I’m sorry, did I say something awkward?” My consciousness filled me in. I started drinking my jug of water to sober up.
“No no,” he suddenly replied. Finally receiving a response.
It was a solid 5 minutes before I felt dozy. I wanted to say goodnight till he called out my name once more. He should really stop calling me suddenly, it’s sweating my palms so much.
“You’re really great at making me flustered too. Goodnight.” He didn’t wait for me to respond and left.
Seriously?! Just like that! Leaving me on a discord call after making me drunk as fuck. This guy! Makes me wanna smash all the keys on my keyboard. I guess I needed this too. Having so many things to think about every night, vodka should help me drown it all out.
——
I’ve been really close with Vox again ever since then. We’d hang out a lot on and off stream. I started to not bother the tweets though I know it’s still going day by day. I figured that if I really don't have something for him, then I wouldn't mind it. He’s a really nice guy. That made me think I had a crush on him for weeks. Maybe I was just being a people pleaser after all.
Now here we are. His first ‘Under the Table’ stream. It went off pretty well. I had to talk about some things that I never knew I needed to clarify and tell.
“VTuber crushes?” I read the chat. “Yeah, I had a lot of VTuber crushes! Vox was one of them.”
I heard Vox coughed. The chat teased him, thinking he got flustered by what I said. I muttered a giggle when he started explaining like he was caught red handed.
“No no, chat. Listen,” he excused. “Crushes can be platonic, romantic, or not at all. It can be just an inspiration.”
“Yeah!” Agreeing to the fact that I realized that maybe he was just a platonic little crush. “Plus, it was ‘ was ’.”
Vox nodded and smiled. “Emphasize on that.”
A bottle being jugged was heard on his mic after that. He's really getting into it. I've never really like drinking a lot cause it makes me really dizzy and sweaty. Vox excused himself to go pee and asked me to entertain his stream for a bit.
"Uhm, chat about what I said," I bit my lower lip as I think through about what I'm saying. "Me liking Vox and all, y'know. I actually have no idea if it was platonic or not."
|| Chat ||
: shoto omggg awwweee
: ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️
: SHOTO AWW
: oh he's so drunk i just know it lollll
I looked through his stream's chat to see that they we're actually open rather than just make a huge fuzz about it. The burden on my chest suddenly felt lighter, owing the fact that I'm drunk.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "He was someone I looked up to, maybe even wanted to be with. As a friend..." I bit my tongue to stop oversharing. I should really stop drinking now.
|| Chat ||
: AS A FRIEND YEAHHHH
: awwweee IM CRYING
: their friendship plsss 💜❤️
: SO CUTE BOTH OF YOUUUU <33333
"As a friend, aha," I scoffed. My head was swaying so much so I rested it on my knees. "I'm drunk okay? I just wanted to have him around without worrying that I might ruin others' ships."
I felt my world shake as I heard him unmute. Good timing. At least he didn't hear me. But I kind of wanted him to.
"Why is everyone saying aww? Did Shoto did something cute while I was away?" His voice softened.
I heard him calling out my name when my head fall onto my desk. I'm so wasted, I'll just deal with it tomorrow. But he's still here. "Hey Vox, I’m not leaving you alright?~"
"Shoto?" He called. Giggles submitted through his microphone as I mumbled words.
"Don't leave me too," I groaned. What am I saying? Am I dreaming?
His laugh stopped when he heard me sniff. "You okay there buddy?"
I nodded though my face wasn't even in view to make my model move. I heard my phone buzzed but it wasn't heard on stream. Guess he muted me.
1 Discord Message
Vox Akuma • 2:16 AM
> Rest well. I'll take care of the stream. :)
Shoto • 2:19 AM
> thnak uou
> u rlly miserf being w ouu
Vox Akuma • 2:21 AM
> Sure grandpa, let’s get you to bed.
Hah? Grandpa? I have grandkids now! Wow, must be nice. But it’s Vox. Who is Vox?
(Shou..)
(Hey, Shou. Shh..)
I tried opening my eyes. My vision was still blurry. I think I’m really dreaming this time then. Looking around, the sky is as clear as the ocean below me. The whole floor is nothing but dark blue ocean water. Stars were aligned in constellations.
“It looks calming, don’t you think?” I heard a voice behind me. It was Vox.
His eyes were shining like the sky above. His hair looks so soft. His facial features compliments one another. He looked like he was drawn by Van Gogh. He really does look like a dream, huh.
“Vox,” I called him in a soft tone. A smile started forming on my face as we were getting closer to each other.
I hugged him tightly to the point that I can feel his heart beat against mine. My eyes closed when he didn’t let go of me. It felt peaceful, like I was on cloud 9.
“I’ll always be here.” He pat my head. That made tears form in my eyes all of a sudden.
“Vox, I..” I pulled out from the hug and just buried my face on his chest. “I don’t understand. Why is it so hard to love?”
“Maybe I’m just hard to love?” He laughed. I looked up to him to his face suddenly started to blur out.
The comfort I felt turned into pure sadness. Maybe anger, or fear.
“You’re wrong.” I mumbled. “I feel comfortable and anxious whenever I’m with you. It’s funny because I think it’s love, but it’s all just games we play. All those flirty pick-up lines and small things you did, it’s just for views.”
I could feel his shirt getting wet with my tears. Silence filled the two of us until he laughed softly.
“It’s alright, it’ll be okay.” He pat me again but this time, I just felt anger.
I wanted to push him away but his warmth felt so nice. He felt like my shot of espresso every morning, making me alive and energize. Then again, he was my shot of vodka. It hurts so much but it’s addicting. Am I okay? Is this right? Are we right?
“Just go.” I tried pulling away from him but he grabbed my hands and didn’t let me go. “Vox..”
“If I had to learn what love is, let me learn it from you.”
With that, he held the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss. My dignity told me to let go but I wanted it. So bad.
I pulled him closer. I knew it wasn’t real, I knew this wasn’t my reality. Lucid dreaming hasn’t felt this good.
(That’s it. You’re doing great..)
(It’ll be okay. I’m here.)
“Vox…” My eyes felt heavy. I tried looking up my monitor until I heard him talk.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll always be here.”
Those words sounded a little too familiar. I wet my lips with my tongue. I looked up to my monitor to see him but it’s just his stream.. and it’s a VOD.
Oh, it’s just his ASMR. No wonder he was saying weird stuff. 4:10 AM. Fuck, I slept on my desk again. I switched tabs to see discord. He was still there.
My heart pounded so much as I texted him that I was awake because he was on deafen. I touched my lips as I recalled what happened. What was that?
Shoto • 4:12 AM
> Hey. I’m really sorry I fell asleep. :( Is there something I can do to make up?
Vox Akuma • 4:15 AM
> Were you dreaming?
Oh my, don’t tell me I was sleep talking. My throat dried as I hesitantly said yes.
Shoto • 4:18 AM
> Yes. I think my youtube autoplayed your asmr video that’s why you were in my dream.
Vox Akuma • 4:19 AM
> In your dreams?
Shoto • 4:20 AM
> Yeah. Sorry, was it weird?
Vox Akuma • 4:21 AM
> Kinda, I dreamed of you too. I fell asleep after I ended the stream .
Surely we didn’t have the same dream. That’s impossible. I just know it. But I can’t help to wish we did.
“Hey.” I heard him unmute.
“Yo.” My voice was shaking. Keep it together!
I waited for him to say something but he just went completely silent. Weird.
“Hey, uh, about that dream. Do you believe in people being in the same dream?” I tried sounding joyful. No respond. I was getting concerned until he coughed.
“Did you see constellations too?” He asked. I starred at my monitor. Did he..?