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He didn’t know how or when it started, but Sam always knew he is bisexual, at first, he thought he was just confused because how is it possible to feel attracted to more than one gender?
Movies and shows always represented straights or gays characters so he never imagined there was a possibility for an in-between, that it’s a decision you have to make or discover at some point in your life, and people themselves never really talked about bisexuality so he just thought it didn’t exist and he was just confused.
He needed to make his discover all by himself, and in a way, it was good, it’s always important to know yourself first, but at the same time he felt kind of lonely.
Until he decided to use the internet, and social medias can be really toxic but if you’re in the right place they can also be very educative. He learned more about sexual education and orientations on the internet than at school, where that subject was inexistent. He got informed all by himself and made the discovery that he, in fact, is a bisexual.
He thought it was going to be hard to accept it, but it just made so much sense for him since he had both girls’ and boys’ crushes before; and it’s like deep inside of him, he always knew.
Coming out to his parents was not something easy, sadly, the world is still a hetero-normative place where people just assume you born straight and then find out what you really are, Sam has always thought how unfair it is that Lgbt+ community have to go through all this coming out to the world thing, he has never seen a straight person coming out as a heterosexual, why does he have to?
Well, obviously is not an obligation, but inside of him, he really wanted to tell his parents, cause if there’s something Sam loves the most in the world is his family, and he has never kept a secret from them. So, one day he decided to tell them.
He was scared cause he knows his family is the religious type of family, and is not like Christianity makes you homophobic but being honest, there’s a really big chance.
To say he didn’t expect the hug his mother gave him once he came out to them is an understatement, he was in tears, scared, but they held him, both of them, and told him that they love him the same, that the love they have for him is unconditional and something as insignificant as who he’s attracted to won’t change that.
And if Sam loved his parents before, now he’s more than sure they’re the best thing he has in his life.
Sam never thought that moving to a new state would be so exhausting, well, he never really thought he would ever be moving, he has always lived in Kentucky his entire live, he grew up there, he formed his life and met friends there, and now he has to leave everything, and start again.
His family has never been one to have that much money, they had the necessary to sustain themselves, but lately they’ve been having some economic issues and he knew that his father getting a new job will totally be helpful, even if it meant leaving his entire life and moving to a place he doesn’t know.
Lima Ohio seemed nice, it was warm and he saw some interesting places he’d like to visit once he was looking over the car’s window when they were getting to their new home. Their new house was a bit smaller than the older but he doesn’t care that much, he believes home is where family are together, not caring the place, plus he gets to have a room for his own so that’s cool.
Obviously, moving to a new place meant changing school, and Mckenly High was the chosen one, it’s a public school and it doesn’t have the best fame but it’s something they can afford, is not like Sam could study in some prestigious place like that Dalton Academy he heard of or something, he wished this school had some special classes for dyslexic people but maybe that’s too much for asking.
First day at school. Sam was nervous. He knows in this school there’s a lot bullying issues and stuff like that, so he really plans to try and have a low profile, and obviously, he didn’t plan in telling anyone about his orientation.
The first day was going as normal as a first day could go, his first classes weren’t that important, just teachers presenting themselves and making them say their name to the whole class, he has yet to make a friend though, is funny how he hasn’t even talked to anyone apart from some class stuff. Now he was eating a salad he made by himself in the yard, sitting on a big blue table, but being alone, when suddenly he heard some music coming from somewhere and the next thing he knew there’s a bunch of guys in the stairs with some weird clothing making a choreography and singing Empire state of mind.
He'd lie if says that he didn’t get excited by watching them being all happy and having so much fun singing, Sam loves music, he plays the guitar, ukulele and a bit of the armonica, and if his mother is not a liar, he’s a good singer too.
He’d also lie if he says he didn’t want to stand up from that table and sing with those guys, but maybe they’re like super popular people in here and they wouldn’t appreciate it that much, even though as they’re singing it seems like no one’s paying attention, as if they’re already used to this or maybe they don’t even care.
When the song ended, not a single person clapped for them, Sam wanted to, cause they deserved it, but it would’ve seem weird him being the only one clapping.
The slushie that was threw to one of the guys after the performance was the last prove Sam needed to know that they’re not really the popular type at this school, he kind of felt bad for them, especially for that guy who was now trying to clean the drink out of him, he seemed nice, and cute, he looks really pretty even with his slushied body, something inside of him wanted to walk there and help him, maybe talk to him, but then the other guys helped him out of there and soon enough they were all gone.
Hours later, Sam learned those guys are on the Glee club, and yeah, they sure aren’t popular in here, he’d really like to join, to be honest, and the fact that they’re not popular is not something bad, considering Sam doesn’t really want to call that much of an attention in here, but the fact that they’re probably the most bullied club on school might really not be the greatest thing.
“Hi man” a voice interrupted his thoughts as he was saving his things in his locker.
“Uhm, hi?” Sam replied, he could notice from his uniform this guy was of the Football team, maybe he’d want for him to join them, and well, Sam likes sports too so that wouldn’t be a bad idea, but then again, jocks are normally like the most homophobic people on every school, but wait, he was one of the guys from Glee, wasn’t he?
“I’m Finn” he said with a smile, offering his hand for a handshake.
“Sam” He took the hand and gave him a shy smile.
“So, I kinda saw you interested on our performance some hours ago, can you sing?” Oh, so maybe is not the Football team he’s looking for.
“Kinda, yes”
“Would you like to audition?”
Sam took a gentle breath, something inside of him really wanted to audition, but then again, he is kind of scared, this is literally his first day at school and already called some attention, something that he was really avoiding, “I don’t know… It seemed like you guys are not that loved in here”
“Well, maybe not, but we do like singing and we perform in other places where the public is nicer than Mckenly students, so you could…” Finn started, just to be interrupted by another boy approaching them and Oh my God, is that…
“Finn! Finally, Rachel is making me go insane cause she can’t find you and… Oh, hi” The boy was pacing about something until he realized Finn was talking with someone, and he smiled at him.
“Hi” Sam shyly replied.
“She can wait man; I’m recruiting new members” Finn then pointed at Sam.
“Are you interested in joining us?” The guy asked, his attention full on Sam and he could see the excitement growing on him, and Sam dying of love from the inside.
“I mean… Uhm… Yeah, maybe” It’s crazy to think how he wasn’t sure some seconds ago but then he didn’t want to neglect this guy and the words came out before thinking it, and Finn seemed to notice, if the suspect expression in him said anything.
“Perfect! You can go to Glee class at 4 PM and audition”
“I’ll be there then” Sam shyly said, feeling as if a blush was growing on him as he saw this guy, then he looked at Finn who was now looking intently at him and immediately he broke the gaze from this guy’s direction.
“Now, you go calm your girl cause she’s still freaking out about our failure” The guy said pushing Finn out of the way, and the mention of said girl took him out of his reverie and he just said his goodbye and walked away, “My name’s Kurt, by the way” the guy said, talking directly to him now that they were alone.
“Sam… I am” Damn, he sounded so dumb.
“Well, Sam I am, hope I’ll see you in glee club later” Kurt smiled at him and then walked away, without saying anything else.
Sam just looked as he walked, and he looked so good and confident, as if he didn’t care that some hours ago he was covered in slushies and humiliated in front of people, he liked that about him, and if the singing was not enough to convince him to join Glee club, he sure now has a new reason.
Joining Glee club must have been the best decision he has ever made, and no, not because now he can see Kurt every day –even though that’s pretty nice— but because he found some really nice friendships there, the group itself is very united and even though they sometimes argue about who gets solos and that stuff (mostly Rachel) they received Sam in a very kindly way, none of them treated him wrong or inferior just because he’s a new kid. He also joined the football team but he likes more the sport than the team itself, they tend to be pretty annoying most of the time.
One of the persons with whom he instantly felt a connection was (incredibly) Quinn Fabray, the cheerleader, who at first was interested in having some kind of relationship with Sam but at the end they worked so well that they decided they are better as friends, and yes, Sam found himself a new best friend.
They became so close that Sam felt the trust to tell her about his bisexuality, she supported him and gave a big hug, she told him she understands if he doesn’t want to come out yet since they’ve been witnesses of how much Kurt has been struggling just by the fact that he’s gay, and it hurt Sam so much that some people might want to molest someone as nice as Kurt is.
He kind of wanted to tell Kurt too, since he’s the only other Lgbt person he’s seen until now, but it’s just that he’s a mess when he’s with Kurt, it’s like he’s not able to form a conversation, even though they have become close friends too, they don’t hang out as much as him and Quinn does, and to be honest, Kurt doesn’t seem as interested in him as he is.
He also told Quinn about his crush on Kurt, and of course she teased him about it, she likes Kurt and she said she would’ve accepted him to date him, that they could do a great couple, but honestly Sam doesn’t really think Kurt thinks the same, it sometimes feels like he doesn’t even notice his presence.
It wasn’t until Mr. Schue told the group about the duet competition, when that same day Kurt walked to his locker and asked him if he wanted to do the duet with him, and Sam tried real hard to hide how much excitement he felt just by the idea of not just singing with Kurt but that he wanted to do it with him, that he choose him before anyone else in the club.
And of course, Sam accepted it.
Some days later, Sam was taking a shower in the Locker room, he has spent the last days thinking about which song he could sing with Kurt, they haven’t even talked about it yet, but because Kurt doesn’t really speak with him outside Glee club, and Sam’s too much of worrier to text him.
Then he felt the presence of one Kurt Hummel entering the Locker room, and Sam was blushing, hard, cause he was literally naked, Kurt could see him if it wasn’t for the wall separating every douche, “I free you” Kurt said once he stood on the other shower stall, thanking his gaze was fixed on his face and not on his body, because with just looking down Kurt could totally see his naked body.
“What?” he asked, confused.
“I free you from doing the duet with me” he said, and call him dumb, but Sam was not understanding anything.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that we won’t be doing the duet together anymore” he explained, just like that.
“Did I do something to offend you?” just the thought of Kurt disliking him for any reason in particular made his heart ache a bit, why all of a sudden, he didn’t want to do the duet anymore? Does he not want to be related to Sam or something? Maybe Kurt never really liked him, it’d explain why they haven’t developed they’re relationship more.
“No, is not that, is just that I realized you don’t need two persons to make a duet” he just said, the confidence that Sam always liked of him being in all its glory, even if for the first time, Sam was not liking it that much.
“I don’t understand”
“You will” Kurt winked at him as he turned around, “You could ask Quinn, you two look cute together” he yelled as he kept his way out of the locker room, yeah, Sam is sure now that he doesn’t feel anything for him and this is totally one-sided, but that doesn’t mean his crush will disappear just like that, and why does everyone keep shipping him with Quinn? God.
Kurt was amazing. He was right when he said you don’t really need two persons to make a duet, his performance of Le Jazz hot was something he has never seen before, the way he could transform himself in two characters at the same time was just astonishing, he killed it, and it didn’t really help to make his crush on him disappear a single bit.
He ended up doing his duet with Quinn, and they did it so good too, he really liked it, he didn’t like though how everyone was smirking and thinking they are finally getting together or something, they are so annoying.
Actually, they did it so well that they ended up winning the competition, even though he thought Kurt deserved it, but hey, free dinner with your best friend, that’s so cool.
Regionals was approaching and they were told who they were competing to, Dalton Academy Warblers, a group with just privileges rich guys who they don’t really know nothing about, since they have never made a public performance other than in competition.
He knew the second Noah Puckerman reunited all the guys from Glee club that nothing good was going out of there, and he was right, cause now out of a sudden Kurt has agreed to go spy on those warblers, he wanted to say that he could go with him, but he didn’t know if Kurt would appreciate that, God, what should he do for that boy to notice him more?
That was when a new guy entered his story, and not necessarily someone he likes or anything, he didn’t even know him, but oh God, he’s hating this Blaine Anderson guy so much lately, from that day that Kurt spied on the warblers, this guy is all he talks about, which is so annoying, what could a guy who’s at an all-boys school and in a group obsessed with birds have that he doesn’t? Apart from money, obviously.
“Wait, so you’re having a crush on the competition?” Rachel asked, they were all at the classroom waiting for Mr. Schue to arrive, and of course Kurt was talking about Blaine again.
“The fact that we’re competing against him has nothing to do with my feelings towards Blaine” Kurt simply said, that same confident always there, and it broke Sam’s heart, it seemed like his expression was getting obvious since Quinn took his hand on her and offered him a kind smile, thank God she was the only one to notice how Sam was feeling, the others were too busy hearing things about the most awesome warbler guy ever, ugh.
“No but that can be something good, if Kurt dates the enemy it’ll be easier for us to beat them at regionals.” Puck suggested.
“I don’t wanna date him just because of the competition, we have something real” Kurt said, wishful eyes and small smile as he thought about that Blaine guy, Sam never felt so jealous before.
“I thought you said you weren’t something official” Mercedes interrupted.
“Well… Not yet, but he’s even going to visit me today here at Mckenly” the smirky smile he made after saying that made Sam rolled his eyes, again.
“And why would he come here of all places” It was Santana the one who talked now.
“To see me, obviously” Kurt proudly told her.
“Actually, I heard warblers were invited here to watch us in a game, apparently they don’t do sports in Dalton” Mike said, getting into the conversation too.
If looks could kill, the one Kurt made as he looked at Mike would have buried him right there and then, “Well, yeah, he’s also coming for that but…”
“Okay guys, so regionals!” Mr. Schuester interrupted Kurt as he walked into the choir room, and suddenly everyone forgot about it for now, Sam used to look at Kurt during the whole class and he looked at his phone more than ten times, probably talking to that guy, ugh.
“Hey Sam, wait up” he was walking out of the classroom and to the locker room to get ready for the game they were supposed to show to the Dalton Academy students when Kurt suddenly touched his shoulders, stopping him.
“What’s up?” Sam faked a smile, trying to hide the fact that he wanted for the earth to swallow him in the class before.
“I wanted to ask you something” Kurt said with a smile.
“Yeah, tell me” Sam replied, cause yeah, his heart is breaking but this was the first time Kurt even acknowledged his existence in a long time.
“Ok so, the thing is, Blaine is already here, he’s waiting for me in the parking and I wondered if you could maybe go with me?” what? Why was he asking him? What does Sam had to do with it? It was like the last thing he wanted, to see Kurt crushing hard on someone who’s not him, and he should say no, make an excuse that he has something to do or whatever, but one look at him and he couldn’t deny it, but still, he needed to know.
“But why? I thought you wanted to be alone with him” Sam said, internally puking just by the words his mouth was saying but not meaning.
“Yes, you can go wherever you want after two or three minutes, I just want for him to see us together” Kurt simply explained, and what the actual fuck?
“But… why?” he never liked to ask things cause people normally thought he was dumb but he’s so confused right now that he couldn’t help but repeat the question.
“Because…” Kurt started, getting closer to him, “that way he might thing that there could be something between us and so he could get jealous” he explained, and oh God, Sam knew more than anything that’s like the worst idea ever, but it hurt him to think that Kurt wanted to use him like that, but what hurt him the most is the fact that he kind of wanted to do it too, and make this Blaine guy jealous of an obvious false relationship, “But don’t worry, I know you’re straight, we will tell Blaine eventually so he doesn’t get all hopes broken, so, will you help me?”
No. That’s what should answer, that was the worst idea and it would break him at the end, plus, Kurt still thinks he’s straight? Maybe if he clears that out… “Yes, okay, I will, but I’m not—”
“Great! Thanks Sam!” Kurt exclaimed before quickly hugging Sam and starting to walk in the corridor, “What are you waiting for? Come on!” he screamed as he saw Sam stood there watching him.
God, he was so going to regret this.