Chapter Text
Juliette couldn’t tell if she had a good night. She did have some rest, but her mind kept buzzing with everything that happened previously. She still hadn’t replied to the text from last night. In fact, she was confused. After seeing how Calliope talked to her the night before, she didn’t know if she should answer and try to talk to her again. Should she even keep on protecting her??
Hopefully, she had to attend her lectures, so it was an excuse not to overthink about Cal. She got ready, headed to the door and drove to college. Her classes went on as usual, except that she constantly drifted off. She tried distracting herself from her own thoughts as well. She talked with some friends, focused on some coursework, and when her last class was over, she rushed home to take some rest.
She arrived back at her place at nearly 17:00, after a 20-minute drive from campus, and as she got in, she went directly to lay in bed, just as when she was a restless, anxious high-schooler. Her one-room apartment felt a bit lonely sometimes, but it was cozy and calm, and it somehow helped her ease her nerves whenever she wasn't feeling her best.
She stared at the blankness of the ceiling for several minutes, thinking of how, or when, would she respond to Calliope. She was scared to do so, since her last memories from her last night weren't very nice. She literally told her to stop making her work and leave. She wasn't ready to face the consequences of trying to protect her after three years of breaking up, and not on the best terms. But there was something inside her wanting to talk to the other girl. She knew she still wanted her, and she wanted things to work out even after three years. Maybe the best move was to actually try talking to her once again.
She picked up her phone, opened the conversation and typed quickly, almost regretting every word she was writing.
Hey Cal, it’s Julliette, thanks for the message last night.
I understand you got mad about seeing me outside your house.
Can we talk things out sometime?
Hope you’re okay
-J
She laid in bed again as soon as she pressed send. She felt like an idiot for thinking there was still a chance between the two.
Several minutes later, her phone started ringing.
“ Shit ” Juliette muttered to herself as she saw who was calling, and after a few rings, she picked up the phone.
“Hey Cal” she answered, trying to hide the nervousness she was feeling.
Juliette” Calliope answered, kinda monotone.
“How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. Just read your message.”
“Oh, cool! So what do you think?” Juliette asked, a bit shy.
“Look, I would like to talk, but I need to make sure we’re both safe. We both know this isn’t good for any of us.” Calliope answered boldly.
“Yeah” Juliette added with a sigh. Maybe she was wrong and there was no chance at all to fix things.
“Okay so my family’s going to Seattle for the weekend, meaning Apollo and I are in charge. I’ll make an excuse to go out of the house, and we’ll pick a neutral spot.” Cal added
“Okay, great. My family’s not even here, so don’t you worry about the vamps. Just me” Juliette replied with a nervous laugh.
“Okay then. What do you think about meeting in the library on Friday?” Cal asked, with a bit of excitement.
“Yeah, sounds good to me” Juliette said, as she started fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
“Great, so see you on Friday, Fairmont!” Cal said, with the tone of voice Juliette used to remember her. She wasn’t very bubbly, but she knew how to tell if she was happy. And in that last phrase, she sounded like it. She actually liked the idea , she thought before answering.
“See you Cal!” she said before the other woman hung up.
Juliette rested her head on her hands and closed her eyes. What if she just made the worst mistake since Theo’s incident? What if it results in a chaotic goodbye and another unwanted heartbreak? She knew she couldn’t deny her feelings for Calliope, but what if this time they’re destined to part ways?
Wednesday and Thursday felt like an eternity for Juliette. She was anxious and distracted from her lectures, skipped her gym routine once, and constantly had the same intrusive thoughts she had whenever she was preparing for a big event. She also had an increase in thirst. She knew how to control it over the years now, but whenever she got stressed, the urge for blood became harder to control. She still had the pills her mom prepared for her. She even learnt how to prepare her own. She often found herself buying vegetal plastic caps and filling them with blood from the clear bags her mom made for her whenever she returned to Savannah to visit them. Oh, how she missed her earlier days in that town. She even missed the weather, since Burlington, where she studied, was much colder.
When Friday finally came, Juliette just wanted it to end. The anxiety took over her mind, and she felt restless. The constant foot-tapping, nail-biting and the need to avoid every single train of thought that crossed her mind resulted in tiredness.
The second she arrived home, she threw herself onto her couch and just stayed there for a while, trying to ease her mind. She had almost two hours until she saw Cal, so she had plenty of time to feel better. After 45 minutes or so, she took a warm bath and searched for some decent clothes. Then she did her makeup - not too much, though- and put on some music. She had 15 minutes left. Her mind started rushing with thoughts again- “maybe this will be the last time we ever see each other”, “what if this is a trap and she actually kills me this time?”, “what if my parents come to visit without warning and I’m not home?”- After several minutes of thinking, she actually picked up her place and got ready to leave.
She got into her car and headed to the library Calliope mentioned. The drive was peaceful, and the weather was nice. All seemed to prompt a good evening, but she feared the encounter with the dark-haired girl. She was scared to either break her heart or get heartbroken by the only person she had truly loved.
She arrived at the place and parked her car. With a sigh, she entered the library. She’d gone there before, but this time it all felt as if it was new. It wasn’t very busy -it never was, actually- but there were some people around. Well, at least she was sure Cal wouldn’t try to stake her on the spot.
She scanned around looking for her, and in one of the tables beside the big windows, there she was. With her long black hair and her signature wide dark eyes, Calliope was waiting for the brunette. When she saw her, a small grin appeared on her face, not showing much emotion.
“Cal! How are you?” Juliette said as she sat at the table.
“Hey Juliette”. Cal answered with a faint smile. Juliette found her tone of voice and overall attitude as if she was trying to hide something.
“Thanks for picking the place”
“Well, neutral spots are always a 99% chance of being safe, right?” Calliope answered as she took a sip from the coffee she’d already ordered. Juliette nodded.
“So, what brought you here? To Burlington, I mean” Cal asked as she noticed both felt a little more relaxed than when Juliette arrived minutes earlier.
“Oh, college. I got into Vermont”
“That’s cool! What are you studying?”
“Electrical engineering”
“God, Juliette, you’re still a nerd!” Cal added with a chuckle, covering her face sarcastically.
“Hey!” Juliette laughed.
“What about you? Are you studying?”
“I will, this August. I took a year to figure out my life while training hard for, you know…"
Juliette focused on Calliope's arms as soon as she told her she'd been training. In fact, she looked stronger, overall. And something about it caused her to feel the butterflies she used to feel whenever Cal was around. She forced herself to stop thinking about it and better switch to the ongoing conversation.
"Oh, so someone’s gotten stronger” Juliette added as she raised an eyebrow playfully, drawing a smile on the other girl's face.
"Just the necessary, really. But hey, I'm afraid to say it but you look as if you've been training as well" Cal replied, glad that the brunette didn’t notice that she’d been staring as well.
"Nah, just running, you know? Just in case" Juliette replied
"You told me you were chasing too, right? What made you do that? I mean, considering you’re…” Cal started, and after a brief silence, Juliette answered nervously.
“Oh, well, I just wanted to keep you safe, you know? I know you can do it on your own and all but, just wanted to help. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to diminish your and your family’s job, I ….”
“Hey, it’s okay. I got mad yesterday because I didn’t know how to respond. But after all, it was a nice gesture of yours. I’m still not sure what to think about it, though.”
Juliette was sure the other girl had no other intention than just talking things out, but she had the hope that their relationship would grow again after this meeting.
“I understand, Cal” was the only thing Juliette could say, as she started fidgeting with the ring she was wearing.
“Okay, so, you said you still have dreams, right?” Calliope asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I do” Juliette replied, looking down. She knew it wasn´t fair for Cal.
“Well, I do too” Cal started, a light blush starting to flush her cheeks. Juliette just looked at her shyly.
“See Juliette, a part of me still wants you, but you hurt me and, and I don't know what to do. All these years since we parted, I´ve felt lonely and guilty and whenever I think about what we had and how it all got fucked up….” Cal started, lowering her tone of voice in embarrassment. She wasn’t ready to admit to Juliette that she still felt something. But she couldn’t wait any longer, though. She didn’t know if this was the last time they see each other.
“You’re not guilty, Cal. The situation we were in was hard for both. And well, about the feelings….I’m afraid to admit I feel the same”
Calliope slowly reached out and placed her hand on top of one of Juliette’s nervous hands, trying to let her know that she understood. She was scared of fixing things, though. She knew it meant putting her own life -and her family’s life- in danger, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to get heartbroken again by the only girl she’d truly loved.
“Look” she started, sighing. “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now. These years have been hard and I wouldn’t like to risk my family’s security for my love interests. But now that you’re here and we’re in the same city…maybe we can try and try to start again, maybe as friends”
Juliette noticed the pain on Cal’s words as she spoke. She knew they both wanted each other. Maybe a friendship was something good to start with. If it progressed well, maybe they can even start dating again.
“As long as we see each other, I don’t care if we’re just friends, Cal. I care about you. Plus, I missed spending time with you. Only time will tell, I guess” Juliette replied as Calliope looked at her with a genuine smile, which made her smile back at her.
“So do you want to, see each other someday?” Calliope asked, hoping the other girl would say yes. As she had just told her, only time will tell.
“I’ll be glad to” Juliette answered, squeezing Calliope’s hand.