Chapter Text
Despite it being 7:00 in the morning the room remained cold and pale. The sun beamed through the hospital window, lighting up the tiled floor, which was the only thing making the room a little nicer. Eddie was busy reading a book while Richie was messing with the sanitizer attached to the wall. It’s pretty early but Richie already got used to waking up every 7:00 am because of the nurse handing him breakfast and Eddie is just naturally a morning person, although with no work to drown to he just let’s himself enjoy a good read.
“Oh my god Rich please- what are you doing?” Eddie looks up from his book getting annoyed by the squelching sounds from the bottle.
Richie glances at Eddie then back to the wall shrugging “I dunno, now that your awake I thought you’d rather I be silent than hear Trash mouth Richie.”
“I’d rather that you say shit than hear that irritating squelching noise.” Eddie shuts his book and glares at Richie.
Richie chuckles “What, is that a pet peeve of yours or something?”
“Does it matter?” Eddie groans leaning back.
Richie goes back to sit on his chair, put his arm over the bed as he rested his chin. Eddie tilts his head “You’re bored aren’t you?” he teased. Richie looks Eddie in the eye and then buries his face on the sheets letting out an annoyed groan.
Eddie laughs amused by the fact that the Richie Tozier just lost his loud persona. “How did you even survive while I was unconscious? What did you even do?”
The other boy smirks “I just stared at your cute face while you were asleep.”
Taken aback, Eddie’s face went red in embarrassment. He was already used to Richie messing with him and giving him nicknames but the way he calls him cute always gets to him almost thinking that Richie actually meant it. Obviously he didn’t. Eddie clears his throat and turns his face into disgust. “Yeah like that’s not fucking creepy at all.”
The door suddenly opened which made both boys turn their heads to the door where a nurse stood with a tray of food. Eddie stares nervously at the woman at the door. “Kaspbrak?” she looks at Richie for a confirmation. “Uhh yeah, that would be him.” Richie quickly scrambles off his seat and walks to the nurse to get their breakfast. She hums to herself as she wrote something on her paper. Setting the tray down Richie thanks the nurse, she nods in acknowledgement and left the room.
“Well that was rude of her not to knock.” Richie scoffs.
“She was clearly in a hurry, you know how busy nurses get.” Eddie reasons as he looks at the food that the nurse brought in, observing it his eyes went wide in a panic “Wait! Do they know about my allergies and the things I’m not supposed to eat because it would seriously kill me if-“Richie shakes his head silencing him. “Don’t worry, got ya covered.” He reassures.
“How the hell do you know about the food I eat?” Eddie gives him a weird look.
Richie rolls his eyes “Are you forgetting that we are in Derry? They have your medical records here about those.”
Mouth open in realization he lets out a quiet ‘Ohh’
Pulling the small table over to Eddie he checked his food before eating, using his utensils to inspect. Richie watches as Eddie continues to look under his food, he sighs. “I told you its fine.” Richie attempts to take his fork away to stop him from playing with his food but Eddie shrugs him off.
“No, no it’s just maybe they put some kind of drug in my food.” Eddie pokes onto his meal. Richie blinks in confusion. Why would they hide a drug on their breakfast? He had no idea what Eddie was doing but he knew from the tone of his voice that he was anxious.
His anxiousness could just be Eddie being Eddie, man of anxieties, but there was something worrying about him and the way he was playing with his food. Richie couldn’t help but worry a little. “Hey, I’m sure you’re just being paranoid. There’s nothing in there, you’re probably just feeling weird after waking up from a long deep sleep, yeah?” Richie gives Eddie a pat the back. Eddie gives him a quick smile, he looked lost and uneasy but he starts eating his food quietly.
Still confused, Richie watches Eddie attentively as he was eating his own breakfast. They came back to Derry a week ago, Richie didn’t look forward to having to go through hundreds of miles just to risk his life for a town that didn’t even give a shit, but he was there anyway, now he finds himself alongside a man who almost went goodbye world forever. Obviously it bothered Richie seeing Eddie troubled about something.
After their breakfast, Bill and Mike came to visit again as it had been what they’ve been doing regularly. That kept Eddie distracted from whatever he had in mind earlier, meanwhile Richie kept close eye on him. He was spending less time talking and instead was preoccupied reading a book or watching the hospital television, wasn’t really entertaining since it only had 4 channels available. Richie stayed by his side and when Eddie looked like he needed help adjusting his seat Richie would assist him. It wasn’t easy for him to sit up and fix it and he’d get frustrated when he couldn’t do it himself, the thing is, it wasn’t because Eddie was a perfectionist much that he’d end up getting angry at the messy sheets but it was because he wasn’t able to do things he used to do, even as simple as sitting up and walking.
Richie noticed that Eddie always had a sour expression whenever he’d stay quiet doing nothing so he asked if he was okay.
“I’m fine.” Eddie groaned “I can still feel and move my body, but whenever I move I get an aching or sudden tiredness, it really isn’t that great but I’m fine really.”
“Are you sure that’s it? Should I be worried?” he pressed again hoping Eddie would open up a little, but all he got a forced smile and a headshake. Richie lets out a quiet sigh, looking back at Eddie again he rolls his eyes and scoffs jokingly.
“Do you maybe feel like you need to use the toilet? I could totally help you!” he puts his arms behind his head grinning.
“Beep-Beep Richie.”
And like that they went silent all over again. Now Richie seems even more anxious. It would’ve been a comforting silence if Richie wasn’t having a hundred thoughts running through his brains all at once, and it was all just, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
Eddie remained silent eyes still on his book.
with such a horrible disease “It’s only horrible if you see it that way,” could do it with such a horribl-
Eddie stops reading after realizing he reread a line and wasn’t even paying attention to the story anymore, he curses mentally. He can’t enjoy his time in the hospital and can’t even enjoy reading a book. It really is horrible.
The other half of Eddie, Richie, who was the entire opposite of him, was pouting staring at the TV. “This is bullshit! It’s right behind you!” Richie points at the screen yelling at an episode of Dora. Richie could’ve just changed the channel if he wanted to but it still confuses Eddie onto why Richie would continue to linger on unnecessary things instead of avoiding it. It’s the same with how Richie chose to stay by his side. Especially since he’s always been pushing him away.
Richie speaks his mind, Richie’s more confident, and understanding. He’s not like Richie. Eddie worries too much and he’s always frustrated and afraid. He wants to be able to protect them and tell them that he’s there. But he’s a coward. He didn’t say anything. Nothing came out.
He doesn’t know how Richie does it, being able to know what to say. Richie has always been a genuine person, he was never an asshole, he just uses vulgar words and jokes to hide himself. The way he talks turns ordinary words into something worth listening to, even with his annoying voices and impersonations, even with that Richie managed to make it better.
He saved Richie from the deadlights but he ended up in more trouble himself. He did something brave yet he’s still scared of something as simple as the room he’s in.
There’s no openness and it didn’t seem welcoming, the walls painted with grey and at the end of the wall there were flakes of paint that were threatening to fall, the ceiling looked uneven and looked like there was a leak on the corner.
Whenever the door opens he can see a glimpse of the hallway, he can’t see too much but outside looked confining knowing that it was just dry walls stretched out with several rooms, some empty and unwanted, some occupied by other sick patients. Sick patients with incurable diseases or who were severely injured. Both made the man uncomfortable.
When he turns away from the door he was met with the crass smell of the bathroom, even while it was closed. The bathroom had a shower, a sink, and then a toilet just like a regular bathroom, though it was already expected from the town to be dull, old, and dirty, the hospital at least isn’t irresponsible and would clean the patients room daily, that enough gave Eddie some comfort.
Placing his book on the bed side table he stares blankly at the ceiling, he didn’t understand what exactly triggered the sudden rush of emotions but he felt so fragile and pathetic.
His head started to ache as it slowly flooded with emotions he couldn’t name.
He hears Richie speak again, he’s not sure if he’s talking to him or at the TV.
He ignores it.
He says nothing as Richie spoke again. This time he knew he was talking to him. Richie has a confused worried look on his face as he reaches out to tap Eddie’s shoulder “Eddie?”
Eddie keeps his eyes on the dirty white ceiling.
Richie tilts his head observing him, he sighs and quietly shifts his chair to turn to Eddie. “What’s wrong?”
“You look bothered.” Richie muttered, frowning. Eddie didn’t realized he had been glaring at nothing so it worried Richie as he asked again. “Are you okay?”
Eddie finally turns to look at the man on his bed side. “Yeah, okay, I’m okay.”
The only noise that filled the room was unintelligible talking from the TV about an animal documentary. The light from the screen changes as it continued playing. Richie gives him a look letting him know that he’s listening as he waits for Eddie to speak. The two stare at each other mouths still shut.
Eddie clears his throat and opens his mouth hesitant, but he shakes it off speaking clearly “No, I mean.” Letting out a sigh he lets himself be vulnerable in front of Richie. “I’m still not used to this.” He lets his eyes scan the room again.
Richie nods. Eddie was taken aback by his actions but he continues to speak. “No matter how many times my mom takes me to the doctor, I don’t know it’s kind of…”
Eddie sinks into his pillow now recognizing what exactly he’s feeling.
“It’s kind of terrifying.”
Letting out a chuckle he turns his head to look back at Richie again “It’s ironic because hospitals are supposed to make you feel better. I’m supposed to feel safe but I can’t seem to make myself relax, it’s like there’s always something after me and I’m just stuck here, it’s supposed to make me feel relieved that I’m getting treated but I just feel weird.” He shrugs shivering slightly.
Richie couldn’t possibly read minds so he has no idea what Eddie has on his mind, but just like mindreading, he read him like an open book. Understanding what Mrs.Kaspbrak did to Eddie it only makes sense that it inflicted trauma onto him and that it still continues to linger even as an adult. The numerous prescriptions and unwanted medicine he had to take and his fear of disease.
Everything he was afraid of.
All of his fears in one place.