Chapter Text
The steam of the porridge clouded Eric's vision. He poked his rice, stirring the contents of his bowl around. He's been at this for the past 5 minuets, and it's obvious that he's zoning out.
"Eric, why aren't you eating?" Kevin sat on the other side of the table, "Do you not like it?"
Eric perked up, breaking out of his daze, "Oh- no it's good Hyung," Shoveling a spoonful into his mouth, slightly burning the roof of it. He hid a wince, swallowing the urge to spit it out.
Kevin placed his phone down, "Then what is it?" He leaned towards the younger.
Eric chewed on the porridge, avoiding Kevin's gaze, "What do you mean Hyung?" He shoved another spoonful into his mouth. He didn't learn his lesson the first time, adding to the raw feeling in his mouth.
Kevin didn't say anything for a moment, just studying the younger who was (struggling) to eat. Eric could feel the stifling silence weigh down his body, "I feel like you're gonna give me indigestion with your staring Hyung," Eric laughed between bites.
Kevin felt a bit embarrassed, "Oh really? Sorry about that, I just wanted-" He paused, thinking about his next words, "Eric... Has everything been ok recently?"
Eric stopped mid spoon to mouth action, some of the congee sliding off his spoon, "How do you mean by that?"
Kevin had his elbows up on the table, cheeks resting on his chin, "Well, I'm just checking up on you dude. You were just sick, which rarely happens. Have you been more tired recently? Or like, overwhelmed?"
Eric didn't really know how to formulate a response, mouth slightly agape in his efforts of trying to find something to say. He wasn't really expecting to have a conversation like this, not first thing after his recovery, "Um... Well like, just the same amount of tired, perhaps more from my sickness. But that's over now, so not really," Eric was hoping Kevin wouldn't ask any further.
"Is that all? Anything new happening in your world?"
What came to Eric’s mind was how his friend getting married, the way the conversation went, and how that left him afterwards. He didn’t want to think about it, not that he really could with what’s been occupying his mind as of lately. "Wellllll..." Eric stalled, he was glad to stop mid sentence, feeling a hand on his shoulder, "What did I miss?" He didn't even have to look up to know who it was. His body temperature rose a few degrees.
"Did you manage to find my glasses Juyeon?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah I did, here," Eric watched as Juyeon's arm extended over his head, feeling Juyeon's body brush against his back. Juyeon motioned the glasses over, meeting half way to Kevin.
Kevin didn't move though, he watched Eric, who seemed to be starring straight down at his rice, like an ostrich. This prompted Juyeon to lean over farther, pushing his chest down on Eric's head, arm right up against Eric's ear. "Yah- just grab it, I can't lean over much more,"
Kevin just silently chuckled to himself, enjoying the scene playing out in front of him, "Yeah yeah," reaching for his glasses.
Juyeon coiled back, hands still on the younger's shoulders, "So, what were you two talking about?" His thumbs rubbed small circles into Eric's shoulders, sending the younger's mind into a frenzy.
Eric didn't notice the smirk on Kevin's face, "Well I was just asking Eric how he thought of the food, ya know? The one we both made,"
"But that wasn't-" Eric was about to interject.
"Oh how is it Eric? Do you like it?" Juyeon leaned his head down towards Eric's side, Eric didn't dare turn his head.
"It's great! Really good Hyung!" Eric seemed to have hiccupped that out.
"Really?" Juyeon sat down next to him, resting his arm over Eric's chair, "Is it that good? Can I have some?"
Eric turned to look at Juyeon, who's face was a lot closer than he expected it to be, startling him a bit. "Oh, uhh yeah, sure Hyung. You wanna grab a spoon?"
Juyeon shook his head, "Nah, just let me have a bite,"
"But-" Eric stopped, watching Juyeon open his mouth, "ahhh~" he hummed.
Eric let out a small huff, scooping a bit of the congee onto his spoon. Taking a great deal in blowing onto the bite so it wouldn't burn Juyeon's mouth. "It might be a little hot," Juyeon just nodded in response. Eric brought the spoonful to Juyeon's mouth, a bit dripping onto Juyeon's bottom lip. In that small moment, Eric felt his chest squeeze, watching Juyeon's lips wrap around his spoon. They looked so plush and soft, a rosy stain colored them. If that wasn't enough, while Juyeon bit down on Eric's spoon, he made sure to hold eye contact with the younger, licking away the congee that dripped onto his lip. Eric clenched his teeth.
"Soo... how is it Juyeon?" Kevin still had a smirk on his face.
Eric forgot Kevin was there. Instantly pulling away from Juyeon. He went back to playing with his food.
"It was pretty good," Juyeon chewed, "It seems to be missing something though?"
Eric drew circles in his porridge.
Kevin raised an eyebrow, "You think so? What might that be?"
Small circle, big circle, small circle, big circle, Eric repeated to himself. Juyeon's hand played with the hem of his sleeve, sometimes tickling Eric's arm.
"I think... something sweet," Juyeon mused.
"Sweet?" Kevin repeated.
"Hmm..." Juyeon seemed to question himself, "Yeah, sweet," He doubled down.
"Really? Like what? It‘s congee though,"
Juyeon's hand traveled to Eric's neck, latching to the back of it, "I dunno, what do you think Ericie?" Juyeon's finger's were so long, that his thumb could reach Eric's collar bone, lightly rubbing it.
He was going crazy.
"I'm not really sure Hyung," Eric looked straight ahead to Kevin, trying his best not to look at Juyeon. Kevin just grinned at Eric.
A bit too innocent of a grin from Kevin.
"Really?" Juyeon tilted his head, applying a small amount of pressure to Eric's neck to face him. Eric complied instinctively, throwing his neck to look at Juyeon. Which he regretted doing so. "Uh well, maybe something like..." Eric couldn't seem to find words.
"Something like?" Juyeon mimicked.
At this point, the spots that Juyeon touched seemed to burn. His neck felt especially hot, like magma was draped over it like a necklace. Decorating him in patches of ruby red flares. Eric had to beat down any thoughts, since any and all went back to 1 thing. He said whatever came to mind first.
"Jagi,"
.
.
.
The 3 member's sat in the kitchen dinning room table, all frozen. As if you took a remote and paused the screen, like a scene from a sit com. Eric was confused by the other's reactions, but the pieces quickly clicked together. He brought a hand to his mouth, body exploding up, "OH- No not that! I meant kkul, not jagi!" Eric panicked, warmth blooming on his cheeks, "kkul! h o n e y! Like from bee's and shit!" Eric cried. He could feel his face burning, and was sure that his voice raised 6 octaves.
Kevin snorted, then broke out in a fit of laugher, "How did you mix those two up?!" Kevin was holding his stomach, hunched over from the laughter being ripped from his chest. "Jagi and Kkul?! They're like not even-" He kept laughing, not finishing his sentence.
In all this commotion, Juyeon was still frozen, dumbly looking up at Eric. Witnessing the distress Eric was in, Juyeon couldn't help but smile. He reached for Eric's arms, that were flailing in the air, "It's alright Younjae, it was funny" He whispered, his eye's smiling at the younger in satisfaction.
This seemed to catch the attention the younger, who stopped rambling, looking back down at Juyeon. A different in his eyes this time.
Almost like... Desperation? Juyeon wondered.
Eric slumped back into his chair, letting a heavy sigh escape his lips, "Yahh, that was so embarrassing," He tugged the neck of his shirt up, hiding his face in it. Kevin was still dying of laughter, wiping a dry tear away from his eye, "I'm glad you're feeling better now Eric, that was TOO good! Practice has been so boring without you,"
Eric knew he should feel flattered hearing that, but there was a odd feeling that filled his stomach. Like a drop of gasoline in water.
Staining.
That quickly went away however, Juyeon petting the top of Eric's head, "We all make mistakes Ericie, even my Korean isn't perfect," Juyeon was expecting Eric to pull his face back out, continuing to eat. This however didn't happen, since Eric just sunk his face farther down his stretched out collar. "Eric?" Juyeon called out again. He noticed Eric's ears were a bit pink.
Eric is pretty in pink.
"I'm alive still," Eric mumbled, taking a few more seconds before taking his head out of his shirt. He took a deep breath of air, which was much fresher in contrast to the air in between his chest/shirt. He was pouting a bit, and his bangs were unevenly pushed up.
“Cute,” Juyeon hummed softly, fixing Eric’s hair.
Eric didn’t say anything, just sat there in defeat. Still mulling over his embarrassing mix up of words. Although a part of his heart skipped a beat still.
“You’re face is so red Eric! Cute~” Kevin teased, he took his phone to snap a photo. Eric shot his hand towards Kevin, trying to block the camera with his hand. “Hey! No don’t!”
Kevin moved his phone away, still managing to get a few photos in, snickering. Eric was trying his best to block the camera, his hand following the phone. Eric was practically standing up now, one hand supporting him as his stretched his body over the table. “I look bad right now, don’t-“
Juyeon sat in his chair, watching the commotion, as he often would. He patted Eric’s back, as the other was busy with Kevin. “Eric don’t be too loud, the others are sleeping,” Juyeon slid between the ruckus going on. Of course, that didn’t reach either one’s ears, as they continued to bicker.
“Oh this pose is perfect, you look great with your nostrils flared like that!” Kevin gawked, messing with the younger.
Eric let a groan out in frustration, determined to snatch the phone out of Kevin’s hand now. With quickly maneuvering, Eric slipped his fingers around Kevin’s phone, and pulled it away from him. “Hah!” Eric cheered. He sat back down, scrolling through the photos Kevin took. Most of them had motion blur on them, just a blur of pixels. “These photos are terrible Hyung,”
“Yeah! Cause sooomeeeonee wouldn’t let me take them in peace,” Kevin bit back.
Eric ignored Kevin, deleting the pointless ones, however as Eric was swiping to the earlier photos in the camera roll, one caught his attention. It was a rather clear photo, moments before Eric lashed towards Kevin.
Eric was all pouty, cheeks a bit red and hair all messed up. His shirt was clearly wrinkled, and arms were folded. That wasn’t what caught Eric’s attention though, it was Juyeon. He was smoothing out Eric’s hair, which wasn’t weird, it was his face.
Juyeon quickly noticed Eric’s fixation of that particular photo, and grabbed the phone from Eric’s hand. “Hey!” Eric whined.
Juyeon tapped on the phones screen a couple of times, and retuned it to the younger without much fuss.
“What was that about?” Eric asked, noticing the photo was gone.
Juyeon brought a hand to his chin, thinking, “You looked bad in it,”
Eric lightly punches his arm, “Hey!!”
Juyeon cracked a light chuckle, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,”
Eric gave Juyeon a playful side eye, handing Kevin his phone back.
“You deleted all of them,” Kevin sighed, half in disappointment, and half in surprise.
“I didn’t delete all of them, Juyeon did some,” Eric quipped.
Kevin was unamused by that, “Anyways, if you’re done with your food, I’ll take your bowl,”
”Yeah I’m done, thanks Hyung!” Eric bowed to Kevin ironically. He wasn’t really full, but didn’t really have much of an appetite either.
Kevin cringed at the younger, reaching for thr bowl.
”I can take it,” Juyeon said, swiping the bowl away from Kevin, “You can sit,” Getting up, as he headed for the sink.
Kevin switched his gaze between Eric and Juyeon, straightening his posture, “You guys are weird,”
Eric shrugged, “What’s weird?”
Kevin narrowed his eyes at Eric, contemplating, "Nothing, neverminded," He excused himself from the table, walking back to the living room.
"Hey wait! What do you mean?" Eric bounced after Kevin, he couldn't let Kevin just leave it at that. "Kevin Hyung!"
Kevin was already situated on the sofa, putting his ear phones back in, "What Eric?"
Eric shook the older's shoulders, "What were you gonna say?" Kevin tried ignoring the younger, but Eric was persistent. Annoying Kevin senselessly. "Hyunggg," He whinned, still shaking Kevin.
"What is it Eric?" Kevin patience was wearing thin, pulling a ear bud out. It was moments like this where Kevin questioned the limitations to Juyeon's patience.
"What do you mean by us being weird?" Eric had a bit of hesitation in his voice, like he almost didn't want to know. Kevin was a bit curious to why Eric was acting stranger than usual, but he's not the type to pry. "Like... you know? Affectionate? Sometimes cringe worthy,"
"But we're all affectionate?" Eric proved this by pulling Kevin into a hug, which he was used to.
Kevin let a small laugh out, "Yeah we all are, but it's different between you and Juyeon, everyone can see that,"
"What-"
Kevin wasn't expecting that kind of reaction, he grew more unsure, "Yeah Eric... something wrong with that,"
Eric paused, "No, no there's nothing wrong with that,"
Kevin knew Eric, he knew that face right now. "Yeah?"
"... Yeah."
"Alright, good talk then?" There was just silence from the younger, "I'm going to back to bed now, thanks for the meal Hyung," Eric detached himself from Kevin, tip toeing back into his room. Kevin saw Eric's body disappear into the void.
"Ah, good night Eric." Kevin called, making sure not to be too loud.
Almost like an immediate reaction, "Night Eric," Juyeon added, walking back from the kitchen.
There was this creeping suspicion, and even if Kevin couldn't see clearly, he knew it was there. "Juyeon, did you and Eric fight recently?"
"No? Why?"
"Oh, I just thought maybe something happened between you two,"
Juyeon pressed his mouth into a thin line, "You think so too?"
"So something did happen,"
"No, not that I remember," Juyeon scratched the back of his head, "I thought Eric was mad at me though,"
"He doesn't seem like it,"
"Exactly! But that doesn't explain what's been going on with him,"
"Maybe he's just tired?"
Juyeon pinched the bridge of his nose, "No, I don't think so,"
"Well wouldn't you know before anyone else? You and Eric are like-" Kevin crossed his fingers, "This,"
Juyeon sighed, "yeah,"
Kevin turned his head back to Eric's and Younghoon's door, "I just hope Eric isn't bottling things up,"
Juyeon just nodded, the mood a bit tense for his liking.
Why did it seem like Eric was growing farther away?
Out of his reach.
Like he was sinking away.
"I'm gonna head out now dude," Juyeon walked towards the front door.
"Mhm, yeah same, I'm going to head to bed now," Kevin crawled off the couch, "I'll see you in the morning, night."
"Night." Juyeon waved to the other as he left.
It wasn't took long of a journey back to his bed, the dorms being relatively close to each other. By the time he came back to his dorm, all the lights were off. He made a bee-line to his room, and flopped himself on to his bed. The way his sunk into the mattress was so relieving, in a way no one could describe. All the nerves in his bones, melted away, which was perfect after practice. It was grueling, choreo after choreo, constantly repeating. The moves were forcibly etched into his body.
He let a groan out into his blankets, muffled. These couple of days has been off for Juyeon, abnormal.
We have to talk, He promised to himself. Letting sleep carry him away.
I can't lose you.