Chapter Text
Chapter 7
Catalina II
Anne had barely said a word to her since she started her therapy group with the others, and whenever she looked toward the green-sleeved woman, she was always talking to someone else, helping someone through their problems. Lina felt anger building up inside her, there had been constant tension and bickering between them before, but now Anne would barely look at her! It wasn’t as if she was jealous but-
“You’re jealous.” Catalina was sitting on a pool chair, the water glistening, and her cheesy romance novel face down next to her as she engaged in conversation with the German.
“I- what??? No!” Lina said a little too quickly. “What am I even jealous of?” She questioned, not sure where the unfamiliar feeling was coming from. She hadn’t felt it when Henry was cheating on her, even with Anne.
“Oh, I don’t fucking know, attention? The attention she used to give you is now being put into more helpful things?” Anna had a point. It was stupid to get hung on, but she missed arguing with the French woman. Anne was tanning in the sun across the pool in a stunning green bikini that left little to the imagination, specifically in the cleavage department.
To Lina’s horror, the shorter woman met her eyes, winking at her and causing a blush to spread on her cheeks. Anne Boleyn just caught me checking her out.
“I mean, she noticed you staring at her boobs,” Anna said, amused. Catalina couldn’t hide her horror as she reached to take a big gulp of water but ended up spilling on the t-shirt.
“Shit!” Lina stood up, mortified as Anna chuckled over the whole affair.
“I love denial gays.”
“What?”
“Nothing…”
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The frustration at Anne quickly turned into anger as the days came and went. Every day Lina cooked and cleaned, and ordered them around the house, yet she never got one thank you. Everyone was always gone at some event she wasn’t invited to. She was numb and empty lately, surrounded by people but alone inside. She just wanted someone to ask how she was doing, to listen empathetically. Someone. Unfortunately, that seemed to be too big of a request. Catalina had reached her breaking point, a twig ready to snap.
“Hey Lina, when’s dinner going to be ready?” Anne walked past, staring at her phone and smiling.
“What’s your problem?!” she growled.
“Excuse me???”
“Every day I do tons of shit for you, but you never even bat an eye!” Lina felt her rage spilling out of her.
“Jesus fucking Christ Catalina, can we not do this now?”
“No. We are, I’m tired of all your bullshit,”
“Catalina, you’re not making any sense, have you taken your pills?” Anne said, looking fed up.
“Why does it fucking matter to you anyway? It’s not like you’ve ever thought about me.” Catalina spits out, the words flowing out of her.
“Of course, I think about you! You’re being ridiculous right now Catalina. Why don’t you take a walk and come back and talk to me when you’ve calmed down?” Anne was trying to stay calm.
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“The only thing you have ever caused me is misery! You haven’t checked in on me once, not when I can barely hold myself together, not when I need you, not when I feel like dying. God, Anne, do you know how you make me feel? Do you know how much I-” Lina started, but then stopped, looking at the face of the woman causing her so much misery.
Anne looked sorry, shocked, and pitiful. For a second, Lina wanted to take it back and apologize, but no, it was too late to go back now.
“Anne, I hate you.”
“Catalina, I’m so sorry you felt like that I didn’t know-”
“But you should have.”
“What?”
“Fuck you.”
Anne’s face fell, and her jaw hardened.
“You haven’t caused me anything but misery, ever since you so willingly opened your legs to my boyfriend.” Lina wasn’t finished.
“Why do you fucking care?!” Anne yelled, pity evaporating.
“Excuse me?”
“You didn’t care when he did it with anyone else, but suddenly you drew the line at me.”
“That’s not true.” Catalina knew it was.
“Bullshit.”
“Fine. It was because it was a betrayal, a betrayal of my trust, a betrayal of my friendship. The reason I only cared when you did it is that I thought I could trust you”
“I’M SORRY!”
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE; YOUR WORDS MEAN NOTHING TO ME!” The others in the house were silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop.
“MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!”
In a blur of motion, Catalina’s hand had connected with her cheek, leaving throbbing skin in the shape of a handprint, burned into her skin.
“Fuck off.” Lina walked off, leaving Anne alone, filled with regret and betrayal.
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“Lina?” Jane cracked open the door. “Are you ok?” Catalina was sitting on the floor next to her bed, headphones over her brown curls.
“I’m fine.” Catalina’s voice was small. Without another word, Jane plopped down next to her and hugged her, pulling the older woman close to her. Lina melted into the hug, it felt nice to be cared for.
“You can talk to me, Lina. It’s okay to not be okay.” Jane said, looking down at the Spaniard.
“I know Anne means well, but she makes me so confused. One second she’s flirting with me and the next she won’t even meet my eyes!” Catalina vented, frustrated at the green-sleeved woman.
“Y’know, she’s been going through a pretty difficult time. She’s constantly scrutinized, and her talent is diminished because of her relationship with Henry. I think she regrets it plenty,” Jane said, bracing herself for scrutiny from Lina, but the first ex only sighed, dropping her headphones to her shoulders.
“Do you… like Anne?”
Catalina froze, slowly meeting Jane’s gaze. “I…don’t know,” Lina said, pressing her face into her palms.
“Jane? Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
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14-year-old Catalina sat on the edge of a pool, feet dangling in, sitting next to María Salinas, her best friend. “Henry Tudor asked me out.” Lina looked at her friend. “Oh? And what did you say?” Catalina snickered. “Of course, I said no! Who would want to go out with that slimy pig?” she said. María sighed.
“If you are popular and rich, looks don’t really matter, do they?” María chuckled, turning to look at her friend.
“Well, would you have said yes?” Lina questioned.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I like someone else.”
“Oh. Who?” Lina felt butterflies in her stomach.
“You.” For a moment, Catalina’s world seemed to slow down, and she could hear the silence. The butterflies exploded out as she gently pressed her lips to María’s. Her mother had always told her that two girls kissing were sinful, but at the moment, it didn’t feel anything other than natural.
“Catalina Trastámara!”
Both girls jumped apart as Isabella Trastámara walked toward them, her glare deadly. Catalina couldn’t process what was happening, but she knew it was her fault. It always was. When she had gotten a 92 on a test, when she had Arthur over and he had forced her to kiss him, when she had been a little too close in a photo to Bessie, all of it was her fault.
“Get away from my daughter!” Isabella grabbed María’s wrist painfully, causing Lina to wince.
“Mamá it wasn’t her fault! I was the one who kissed her!”
“Silence Catherine. You have no idea how this witch has infected you.” Isabella said, words full of hate. She only used her American name when she had done something wrong.
María pulled herself free from Isabella’s grip and ran away, not looking back.
“I wanted to kiss her! I like girls, mom.” Lina yelled, unflinching as Isabella recoiled in disgust.
“Get out!”
“What?”
“Stay out of my house and only come back when you have accepted the fact that you are a normal, straight girl.”
“
Mamá!” Catalina screamed after the figure, but it was too late. Tears streamed down her face as sobs wracked her body. “Mamá…”
Catalina was alone. Completely and utterly alone. For the first time in her life, she was a disappointment to her mother and had been kicked out.
In her desperation, she picked up her phone and texted Henry: “Let’s hang out sometime. I think I’ve reconsidered your request,” It was done.
Lina felt so disgusting, but it was the only way. She felt sickened by what she had to do. She sent one last text to María. “I think it’s for the best that we stop hanging out. What we did was wrong. I’m sorry.” And Catalina really, really was. But it was the only way.
DING DONG
Isabella Trastámara opened up the door the next morning to see her daughter, a filthy mess.
“I’m sorry Mamá. I wasn’t thinking straight, and the devil got ahold of me. I told María to leave me alone and now I’m going out with Henry Tudor. I promise I’ll be good.” Isabella felt tears of joy. Her daughter was normal again.
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“Catalina… I’m so sorry,” Jane said, wrapping her arms once more around her.
“Don’t be. It was my fault anyway for being so stupid.” Lina said bluntly, staring at the floor.
“It’s not your fault. You can’t control who you love. I may not be gay or anything, but I know that it’s completely normal to love someone else!”
“You might not be gay, but the way get all flustered around Anna suggests their something not-so-straight about you.”
“Shut up!” Jane buried her face into her arms, trying to hide her red face. “But seriously, you should talk to Anne. Maybe then you can figure out your feelings.”
“I don’t have feelings for Anne, and I’m not gay. I was just confused!” Catalina yelled. Maybe a little too loud.
“Yeah right,” Jane smirked.
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“Hey,” Catalina said, gently knocking on Anne’s door. “It’s Lina, can I come in?” She bit her lip, hoping, praying, this was going to work.
“As long as you aren’t going to start yelling about me,” A voice came from inside. Catalina gingerly opened the door to see Anne, a joint held in a hand.
“You’re smoking inside.”
“I know, smartass. I was on the deck until you disturbed me.” Anne chuckled, causing Lina to perk up a little bit at the fact she didn’t seem too angry. “If you want to talk to me, you’re going to have to sit outside.” She motioned to the patio outside the sliding doors in the room. Not that Lina minded, it was summer after all.
“Uh… I’m sorry. I may have gotten a little unreasonably angry.” Catalina tried, situating herself on one of the lounge chairs. Anne laughed.
“A little may be an understatement.” Anne could hear Lina sharply exhale. “I’m sorry too. I honestly had no idea that was how you felt. I guess I’ve just been so focused on myself, that I didn’t even think about you.” Anne looked so genuinely sorry. A part of Catalina hated how easy it was to forgive her. “Forgive me?” Catalina relaxed.
“Of course.” Lina felt a warm feeling in her stomach when she saw Anne’s face break out into a smile. “Do you forgive me?”
“Always.” Anne looked into her eyes, telling Lina that she also felt it. The feeling was like a crackle of electricity. At that moment, she imagined shoving Anne against the wall, taking off her clothes, and- wait what? This wasn’t supposed to happen. She felt so dirty inside, why couldn’t she just be normal? Normal girls didn’t fantasize about making out with other girls. Her mom was right, she was defective.
“Lina? Are you ok?” Anne asked gently, taking the taller woman’s hand, and distancing her from her thoughts, well, maybe only the last part.
“Yeah. Sorry, I just got distracted.” Anne knew it was more than just being distracted, but she didn’t say anything.
“I’m going to an award show next week. Did you want to be my date? Platonically, of course.”
“Yeah, of course! I’d love to!” to be honest, Catalina hadn’t really heard the first part of what Anne said, but anything to hang loose and forget her insecurities, right?