Chapter Text
It’s been a few weeks since Lexa met Clarke. It’s been a few weeks since Lexa saved Clarke. However, it’s only been a few days since Clarke started trusting Lexa.
Clarke was released from the hospital a day after the attack. Her mom never left her side, taking a few days off from work to keep an eye on her. Clarke stayed in bed most of the days, avoiding everything and everyone.
All Lexa wanted to do was visit Clarke and be there for her. Comfort her when she needed it.
When Lexa and Abby decided to tell Clarke what happened, there had been a lot of tears. Clarke still didn’t remember everything but she remembered him touching her. That’s as far as her memory goes.
Clarke didn’t stop crying. Lexa felt her heart break all over again after seeing her face. Abby had moved closer to her daughter and hugged her, trying to calm her down.
“Why did this happen to me, mom? What did I do wrong?” Clarke cried. Abby looked over to Lexa and sighed.
Abby put her hands over her daughter’s cheeks, wet with tears. “You didn’t do anything wrong, this is not your fault.”
Clarke nodded her head but didn’t say anything else. Lexa sat awkwardly on the bed, not really knowing what to do. She sighed.
At that moment Abby turned around to face Lexa. “Can you stay with her for a while? Life still goes on and I need to go grocery shopping but I don’t want to leave her alone.” It was a simple question and Lexa could give a simple answer. But she wasn’t sure if it was what Clarke wanted.
“Sure, if Clarke is okay with that.” Lexa smiled a little. She wanted to spend time with Clarke but not if it made the blonde uncomfortable or scared to be alone with a stranger in the house. Because that was what Lexa was to Clarke; a stranger.
Clarke slightly nodded her head but looked over at her mother with fear in her eyes. “Please don’t stay away for too long.” She said with a small voice.
Abby smiled and ruffled Clarke’s hair. “I’ll be back as soon as possible,” she promised her daughter, “but you’ll be safe with Lexa. She already saved you once. I’m sure she would do it a second time.”
“I definitely would.” Lexa said and looked at Clarke. “I would do anything for you.”
Abby got up and kissed the blonde on the forehead. “I’ll be back soon.” She nodded her head at Lexa and said a quick thank you to the brunette.
A comfortable silence fell over them as they heard the door click shut. Clarke sighed deeply and fixed her eyes on Lexa who was staring at Clarke. (Anya would make fun of her for this; because she was staring again. Lexa couldn’t help it, she was just so beautiful.)
“Thank you for saving me. You didn’t have to do that after I was so rude to you but you did it anyway.” Clarke said and Lexa noticed she balled her fists again, like she did in the bar when she was staring at her cup.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to thank me.” Lexa said and tried to grab Clarke’s hands, but the sudden movement startled Clarke and she flinched away from Lexa’s touch.
Clarke gasped and her eyes filled with tears again. Lexa tried not to show the hurt on her face, but she thinks she failed miserably. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Lexa said and put her hands in her lap, “just wanted to comfort you.”
Clarke closed her eyes and sighed again. “I don’t want to be like this. I felt like crap that night and I still feel like crap now. This feeling won’t go away and I hate it.” Lexa saw a few tears escape from under the girl’s closed eyelids.
“It’ll take time for you to get over this, but I promise I’ll be here for you whenever you need someone. If you want me to, that is.” She looked over at Clarke, the blonde was still lying with her eyes closed.
“Yes. Yes, I want that.” Clarke opened her eyes after she said this and smiled sadly at Lexa. “Well, that smile is a start. How about I tell you a funny story so there’s a bigger smile on your face?” Lexa suggested. Clarke nodded her head and so Lexa told her about that one time that Anya pranked her with a dead dummy on the toilet which made Lexa pee her pants.
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Several weeks later Clarke and Lexa have become friends. Lexa went to Clarke’s house a lot, especially at night when Clarke’s mom had the night shift. Clarke still had a hard time trusting people, especially men. It didn’t surprise Lexa at all and she always stayed close to Clarke’s side whenever they were outside.
Lexa and Clarke had been spending a lot of time when Lexa asked Clarke out on a dinner. A date. A dinner date. (Of course she didn’t mention the date part to Clarke, she was scared the blonde would say no if she did.)
Clarke agreed, if Lexa promised they would go to a quiet place.
And so here they were, in a restaurant with only a few people around. Clarke was relieved. She still didn’t want to be in a place with a lot of people, scared it would trigger a panic attack or something.
They enjoyed their dinner and Lexa smiled stupidly at Clarke. “You look so beautiful tonight.” The brunette told the blonde. “Wait, I mean, it’s not that you look ugly on other days, you always look really beautiful but tonight you’re like super beauti-“ Lexa couldn’t finish her sentence cause Clarke leaned and kissed her gently on the corner of her mouth. “Stop rambling. Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself for a first date.”
Lexa was momentarily shocked. “A date?”
“Yes, you know what a date is, right? Or do I have to explain it to you?” Clarke chuckled. She always felt better in Lexa’s company.
“Let’s go home.” They got up and Lexa left some money on the table.
Neither of the girls really knew what they were doing, just that they were going to Clarke’s house and that Lexa’s left hand fits perfectly in Clarke’s right hand.
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Clarke and Lexa started dating a few months after the attack. She was very gentle with the blonde, she wanted Clarke to feel safe with her.
However, Lexa learns the hard way that Clarke isn’t over it yet.
It happened when they were snuggling in bed, and Lexa was tracing patterns on Clarke’s bare back. Clarke sighed happily and snuggled closer to her girlfriend.
Lexa looked at her gorgeous girlfriend and brought their lips together. Their kiss got very passionate and Lexa turned their bodies around so she was straddling Clarke’s hips. Their lips were still connected and Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s cheeks. Lexa felt Clarke smiling and sighed happily into the kiss.
Lexa moved her hands, gently tracing Clarke’s skin until she got to the point right above Clarke’s breasts. Clarke’s hands were rubbing Lexa’s lower back, but when she felt Lexa’s hands above her breasts, she froze. All of the memories from that night came back and Clarke let out a sob and pushed Lexa away from her.
“Leave me alone. Don’t touch me!” She snarled at Lexa. Lexa was shocked and didn’t know what to do. She didn’t expect this at all.
“Clarke, look at me. It’s me, Lexa. I won’t h-hurt you.” Lexa’s voice broke on the last sentence.
Clarke was crying, tears rolling down her cheeks. Lexa made a move to touch Clarke but this time Clarke screamed at her. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
Lexa was hurt by Clarke’s words but couldn’t blame the blonde. It was a very traumatic experience and she didn’t want Clarke to feel like Lexa would do something to her.
“I’m sorry, Clarke. I shouldn’t have done that. Please, let me make it up to you.”
Clarke shook her head. “No, I want you to leave me alone. Go away!”
Going away and leaving Clarke alone was the last thing she wanted to do, but if it’s what the blonde wanted, then she would do it.
“Do you really want me to go away?” Lexa asked with a small voice.
“Yes.” Clarke’s reply was short and Lexa could still hear the crack in her girlfriend’s voice.
“Okay.” Lexa got up off the bed and left Clarke’s room.
She never left her house though. Instead she took the blanket that hung over the back of the couch and got comfortable on it, pulling the blanket over her and now that she was alone, she could cry. And she did.
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It wasn’t until a few hours later that Lexa heard her phone vibrate on the floor.
Clarke, 1:32am: I’m sorry. I know I overreacted. Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t really want you to go away but all I could see was the guy’s face in front of me.
Lexa, 1:33am: It’s okay, Clarke. I understand. I didn’t want to leave you either but I felt it was needed at that moment.
Lexa stared at her phone. She didn’t think Clarke knew she was still in her house. It was a few moments before Clarke replied again.
Clarke, 1:38am: I wish you were here now. I can’t sleep, every time I close my eyes I see his face. Your arms make me feel safe, I need to be in your arms right now.
Then another text followed;
Clarke, 1:38am: Please come back.
Lexa didn’t need to be told twice. She got up and made her way over to Clarke’s bedroom and silently opened the door.
She ran over to Clarke’s bed and got in next to her girlfriend and immediately put her arms around her.
Clarke turned around and let out a sigh when she felt those amazing arms around her. “Lexa? How did you get here so fast?”
Lexa pressed a chaste kiss to Clarke’s lips and nuzzled her nose into the girl’s neck, planting another kiss there. “I once told you I would always be here for you if you needed someone.” Lexa said softly, “I never left your house.”
Lexa heard Clarke gasp. “You stayed here?” Lexa nodded her head. “I knew you didn’t mean it, that you wanted me away from you. So I stayed.”
Lexa tightened her arms around the blonde. “I’d never leave you, Clarke.”
Clarke snuggled closer to Lexa, if that was even possible.
“I love you.” Clarke sighed into Lexa’s ear.
“I love you, too.” Lexa said back, biting back a smile.
She wanted to spend the rest of her life in Clarke’s arms and wake up and come home to Clarke’s beautiful face.
“I love you so much.” She added after she heard Clarke’s steady breathing indicating the girl was asleep. "And I'll never let anything happen to you."